18: are secrets really toxic?

It's no small feat, getting Jamie back to my apartment. He's a lot worse off than when I brought him here from Lobo, and he's lost a ton of blood. I don't care if I haven't known him all that long; it's killing me to see him like this. He's in pain, and a lot of it, and the most I can do is try to tell him to calm down.

With everyone's help, we finally get him in to my place, and just because I feel bad, I let him have my bed. Midge has turned my room into a mini hospital that I can barely navigate. There's bloodstained towels and herbs and a bunch of water bottles thrown everywhere, and the last time I came in, she snapped at me to leave.

So Safiya, Rocco, and I have all been banished to my living room. Safiya and I sit on opposite edges of the couch, both of us a considerable distance across the room from Rocco. We're a little shaken up, but he's probably the worst of us. That doesn't eliminate the fact that he had a gun on him. Far as I knew, or thought I knew, he'd never fired one of those things. But he emptied three bullets into Ricky, easy.

"So, uh," Rocco cuts in then, crossing his legs uncomfortably. "Is Jamie going to be okay?"

"I think, but I don't know for sure. Midge won't let me see him."

"She's busy," Safiya says, tossing her hair over one shoulder. "Doing witchy things."

"Witchy things she couldn't do in that park?" I question, and Safiya looks up at me, a newly-formed frown on her face. "That still doesn't make sense. It's like it was a dead zone, or something. As soon as she walked out of it, she was fine."

It's true. As soon as the five of us limped out of the city park, her energy built again, her wand functioning like it usually does. That left Midge back in good health and me confused as hell. This whole night...this whole night has pretty much killed my brain cells. I almost want to give up.

"Hmm," offers Safi. "Here's a solution: we don't go near that park ever again."

Rocco lets out a heavy sigh, leaning his chin into his palm. "I second that."

"And what's up with you, huh?" Safiya says then, tilting her head a bit, one dark eyebrow risen towards her hairline. I try to stop her, but she shushes me. "Acting like you're all scared and then shooting our only clue dead. Were you even thinking?"

"No," Rocco confesses glumly. "I panicked, alright? He was going to kill Grey, and I didn't want that, so I...I just panicked. You don't have to trust me or anything, but at least believe me when I say I...I didn't want to hurt him."

Safiya opens her mouth, but I cut her off before she can make Rocco feel worse than he already does. "I believe you, Rocco. Like I said. It's okay, really. You saved my life."

He nods, but he doesn't seem convinced.

About done with the tired air of this place, I get to my feet, raking a hand back through my hair. "I'm going to see if Midge will finally let me in," I announce, placing my hands in my pockets as I make my way towards the hallway. "You guys should go home."

Safiya says, "Finally," and is out the door before I can even say goodbye.

Rocco, on the other hand, eyes me warily. "Are you sure you'll be okay?"

I grin at him ruefully. "I'm fine. The only person who we really need to be fine is Jamie, though. Go home, Rocco. Get some rest."

I turn around again, and a few moments later, I hear the front door open and shut.

With a sigh, I stride to my bedroom and knock once or twice before trying the knob. It's unlocked, so I nudge it open, peeking my head in. "Midge? Can I come in now?"

"I guess," she calls from inside.

I open the door, and like I said, it's a mini, extremely messy hospital in here. A ton of discarded towels litter the floor, a full glass of water on the nightstand, accompanied by three more empty ones. Perched precariously on the floor is some burning incense, beside which Midge kneels, looking blanched and exhausted. Almost as blanched and exhausted as Jamie, who spares me a weak smile when he sees me.

I give Midge a concerned glance before stepping over a wad of towels to reach the bedside, mopping Jamie's silvery hair away from his face. "Hey. You doing okay?"

He tries to shrug, but it dissolves into a wince. "I'll live," he replies simply. "Did I...did I do okay?"

"Did you..." I cut off with a laugh, sure he must be kidding. Goddammit, all these people sneaking up on me, making me care about them. Why is this even allowed? "Yeah, buddy. You did just fine."

"Okay," he replies, his eyes shutting as his face begins to go slack. "Good..."

His breathing settles, and I double check that he's asleep and not dead, but yeah, he's fine. With that, I pat his head again and tour around to the edge of the bed, towards Midge. The incense wafts into my nostrils, a mix of cinnamon and cedar, and I sigh, reaching my hand down toward her.

Midge looks up at me, a question written in her dark eyes.

"Thanks for taking care of him," I say. "Let's...go somewhere, alright? I mean, I don't know. To calm you down."

She squints at my hand, then looks away. "I'm extremely calm."

"Midge," I say. "That's bull and you know it."

She narrows her eyes at me, but sighs, letting me help her to her feet. As I lead her back out into the hallway, softly shutting the bedroom door behind me, she mutters, "I hate you, Grey Meesang."

I can't stifle a smile. "You and I both know that's not true."

Outside, the streets are pretty quiet. I can't be sure what time it is, as the night's events have kind of rattled my brain around, but I'm pretty sure every other sensible person is probably asleep or at least near there. Here's the thing. When I offered to take Midge somewhere, I didn't one hundred percent have a concrete idea in my head. So we're pretty much wandering around outside, the humidity frizzing up Midge's hair and making my shirt stick to my chest.

It's placid, at least. Each step we take's illuminated by the gold streetlights, the air alive with the sounds of car engines and the soft music drifting from the nearest bar. It's calm. It's calming.

"I'm really...I'm really starting to stress out about this, Grey," Midge tells me, keeping her head ducked, her eyes on the ground. "I mean, a dead zone? That's never happened before. What if the city's...dying? Could that even happen? What would that even—"

"Midge, we're going to figure it out," I reply, because we are. We know something's wrong. That's the first step. We just have to keep going. "I know we are. You're smart. I'm...almost smart. And we've got a ton of other people helping us. So I wouldn't worry about it."

"A ton?" Midge scoffs, her lips splitting to reveal a half smile. "Three, Grey. A self-absorbed vampire, an underaged werewolf, and a trigger-happy human. That's hardly a ton."

I start to argue, but then I realize I can't, so I just shake my head. "Let's be positive."

"Be...positive. Right. Okay. Fine."

I stop walking, wiping sweat from my face. Midge is a few paces ahead of me before she realizes I'm not at her side, and she turns to face me, her brown skin shimmering like amber underneath the street lamps. Did I just say shimmering? Jesus, I need some sleep.

"Midge," I say. "I'm supposed to be calming you down. You're supposed to be calm."

She gives me a dubious look. "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard."

"Do you not trust me?" I ask, taking a step nearer towards her, though I'm not sure why I do. Midge sighs a bit shakily, and I see her eyes inch just a bit wider. "Is that what it is? I mean, come on. I showed up in your prophecy. That has to mean I'm trustworthy. And by now, you should know..."

"Know what?" she snaps.

I shrug. "That I'm not exactly the kind of person who just gives up."

Midge pouts her lips. "I didn't say we should give up. I just...I just didn't know it was going to be this hard."

"Hey," I offer. "The most difficult things are the most worth it, in the end."

Midge's rosy eyebrows draw in, and she looks away for a moment, even if I can't. Maybe I haven't realized it before, or maybe I have, but there's something alluring about her face, those pensive brown eyes and mascara-coated eyelashes, the round slope of her lips and cheeks. I realize I'm staring, but for some reason, I can't stop.

When my hand brushes hers, she flinches. "Grey, we can't."

"We can't what?"

"Do this," she murmurs. "The prophecy—"

"Oh, by hell," I say, and just because I can't not anymore, I grip her wrist and draw her closer, our chests against each other. It's a mistake, I know it is, but Midge has blinded all my logic for some reason. There's nowhere for her to look but at me. "I knew it. There's something you haven't been telling me, isn't there?"

Her cheeks turn bright red, and she inches a little away from me, her hand still in mine. "It's embarrassing."

"I have a tail that wags whenever I get too excited, Midge. Don't talk to me about embarrassing."

"But your tail...it's cute."

"Say that to me again. I dare you."

She flinches again, shutting her eyes for a moment. When she opens them again, there's a new resolve within them that wasn't there before, and I can't look away. "Fine. There's something else the prophecy told me, and yes, I didn't want you to know about it."

"Okay?"

"It said that the demon's son would help me...but it also said"—she pauses to rub her temple—"it also said I'd fall in love with him."

"With him...with the demon's son?"

Midge nods.

"So, with me?"

Midge nods again, groaning.

I wait, not sure if I want to laugh or cry or scream. I don't know what I'd been expecting, but I do know that that was nowhere on my radar. Not even close. Here is my radar in like, pretty well-populated New York, and there's that idea, lost somewhere in the middle of Siberia.

"Midge," I say quietly, my eyes falling towards her lips again. "Thank you...for telling me."

"I'm sorry. I mean, it doesn't have to be true, but I just—"

"Why are you apologizing?" I ask her. A car zips by, lighting up the apprehension written in her eyes, illuminating the rosy strands of her hair as I push them away from her face. "If it's a hypothesis, which you're saying it is, the logical thing to do is experiment."

Midge chuckles, letting me bring her towards me. She tilts her chin up, amused. "You're kidding."

"Does it look like I'm kidding, Midge?" I say, and close the distance between our mouths, most likely because I'll die if I don't. It's weird, but she almost does taste like a strawberry shortcake, our lips fitting together like all this really has been written in the stars. Midge curves herself against me, playing with the hairs at the nape of my neck, pressing a hand against my chest. And I breathe her in, forgetting what Midge-less air ever tasted like.

It's over too soon. We break away, but linger close, my nose just brushing hers. There's this weird look on her face, like she enjoyed it but is trying to act like she didn't. "Hypothesis accepted?" I question.

She rests her head against my chest. "Not enough evidence."