Chapter 48

DOE

An hour and two orgasms later, Ace had me tucked against him in the tub, rubbing his magical, soapy fingers into my worn muscles.

He had already washed my skin of the sticky, gross mess we had made during my heat, shampooed and conditioned my hair, and used a washcloth and a finger against my clit to bring me to one final orgasm.

And now he seemed keen on working out every single one of my knots until I was all loose and gooey.

He seemed to know where each of my aches and pains were without me having to tell him, and it didn’t take a genius to figure out he was using our bond to determine where I was hurting.

It was a new level of intimacy that I didn’t know I’d craved. We could sense each other’s needs without having to communicate them verbally. It was lovely.

“Shouldn’t I be the one giving you the massage?” I asked, my head lulling back against his shoulder. “I feel like I’ve been receiving all the attention without doing my fair share of returning it.”

Ace hushed me. “It is my goddess-given right to care for my mate after mating. I plan on seeing to all your needs during this time, and I will not allow you to rush or distract me.”

You weren’t about to hear me complaining. “Okay, but I get to take care of you next.”

He deserved it after everything he did for me. I wanted to make him feel as special as he was making me feel.

“Fine,” Ace grumbled. “I suppose I wouldn’t mind your soapy, little fingers running all over my body.”

His determination, coupled with his tenderness and affection, warmed me down to my toes.

The love I felt for him… There were no words. The best way I could describe it was to say I was ~full~. I was just so full.

“I love you, too, Doe,” Ace whispered behind me, pressing a kiss to my wet shoulder.

“You can feel it?” I asked.

Ace hummed. “I can feel your love for me. I’m honored.” He turned my body around so I was facing him and placed my hand against his chest, over his heart. “Can you feel mine?”

“Yes.” My mouth ticked up in a teasing smile. “Oooh, you love me, huh?”

“That’s no secret. I’ve loved you since the day we met. Since before I knew what love was.” He pressed my hand tighter to his chest. “What else do you feel?”

I picked through the bond, sensing his emotions, which he sent my way. “I feel your joy.” Joy was the most overwhelming sensation. It overshadowed everything else. “And I feel your… peace.”

Ace nodded. “My wolf. He’s quiet. He’s not struggling anymore.” He shook his head. “I’ve never… He’s never…”

I searched his face, not understanding. Whatever he was saying didn’t sound good, but I didn’t sense any panic or worry from him. “What do you mean?”

“My entire life, I’ve heard people describe their bond with their wolves as if they weren’t two beings sharing the same body, battling each other. And I never understood.

“I’ve been in a constant fight for control. And my wolf ~always~ won. He’s stronger than me, able to force a shift whenever he believes I’m not handling things the way he wants.”

“But now…he’s quiet.”

“Quiet in a bad way?”

“No. In a good way. In a very good way. My wolf is still there, watching and engaged in the back of my mind, but I’m in charge. I can finally hear myself think.

“My body isn’t strained by the constant struggle to keep a raging beast at bay.”

The relief radiating from him was so intense that I nearly started to tear up. I knew that Ace battled to control his wolf, but I don’t think I understood just how much it burdened him.

“So, what, he just gave up?” I asked.

Ace laughed. “No. I have the strongest wolf in existence. He’s not capable of giving up. He would kill everyone in the world before conceding.”

I held myself back from rolling my eyes. So cocky. “Okay, so then why has he finally given you control? What happened?”

Ace’s deep blue eyes twinkled with uninhibited happiness. “You. You happened. Our mate bond was finally completed. It’s strengthened my human side enough that I can finally push him down.

“And it has brought my wolf peace too. It was you he was fighting for this whole time. He’s settled now that he can feel you. And I can finally breathe.”

I stared at him as a strange sense of guilt trickled down my throat.

He wasn’t blaming me, I knew. And it wasn’t my fault. But I still couldn’t help but feel a sense of responsibility. If we had completed our mate bond sooner, he wouldn’t have had to suffer as much.

“What?” Ace asked, noticing my change in demeanor. “It’s a good thing, sweet girl.”

“And I’m happy for you. Really. You deserve to feel peace. I just… I’m sorry it took me so long to give you this peace.”

Ace’s expression turned serious. “It wasn’t your fault, Doe. Understand. And I don’t want to hear you apologize for it ever again.”

He used the washcloth to wipe the soap from my arms. “It wasn’t anyone’s fault really.

“The Omega Protective Services says both the omega and her mate must be over the age of eighteen before completing the mate bond.

“Consent can get pretty hazy when it comes to omega hormones. For everyone involved in the bonding. So, regardless, we would have had to have waited anyway.”

“So ~that’s~ why you said we both needed to be eighteen before you explained everything to me.”

So many things were making sense now. At first, I thought it was just Ace trying to make me feel better, but now I understood that he really meant it.

It may have been unrealistic to expect teenagers to wait until they were eighteen to complete their bond, but I could see why the rule was needed.

I mean, a few months ago, I tried to force Ace’s canine into my thumb while he slept. I had been trying to make him mark me before I even understood what marking was.

“Okay, but I still hate that you had to deal with so much on your own—with your mom gone and your dad basically losing his marbles.”

“I wasn’t on my own,” Ace’s tone was firm. “I had my pack and Madoc.

“And I had your parents and your little brothers supporting me and keeping me in check. They were like family to me after my dad started to lose it.

“Your stepdad used to spend his summers training mine and Grayson’s wolves so we had better control over them.”

Ace laughed. “Grayson used to get so mad. I’m seven years younger than him, but my wolf is bigger. It made us good sparring mates, though. I was the only one who stood a chance against him in a fight.”

I smiled, imagining the two of them messing around and fighting the same way my brothers did.

“And I had you,” Ace continued. He ran the washcloth down my chest and along the tops of my breasts.

A low purr rolled from his chest. “Even if I couldn’t tell you the specifics of what was going on with me, you could always tell when I was upset and knew how to make me feel better.

“You were the only person who could calm my wolf down. I would have lost my human side when I was a child if I hadn’t met you. Nothing would have stopped my wolf from taking over.”

I leaned back in surprise. “That can’t be true.”

Ace shrugged, and something dark and somber passed over his face. The weight his wolf had forced him to carry traveled through the mate bond. His pain lodged itself in my chest like a dull knife.

He didn’t look at me as he played with my hair while losing himself in memories that clearly disturbed him.

“Even with your dad’s training, I couldn’t always distinguish between my own thoughts and emotions and the instincts my wolf was pushing on me.

“It made me act out in ways I’m not proud of. I hurt people. I couldn’t control my temper.”

“There was even a point when I thought I would have to give up the role of alpha because there was no way I could lead a pack and control my inner beast at the same time.”

He raised his hand to cup my face and gently ran his thumb over my chin and bottom lip. “I hurt you on more than one occasion. And I hate myself for that. For every tear I made you shed.

“Even had to go on fucking tranquilizers to stop myself from going on a rampage every time I thought you were in danger.”

I remembered. I remembered how he had reacted the day I ran away from school and Madoc found me sleeping in the park. He bit me.

The next morning, he had apologized over and over again. He said he couldn’t control himself.

I remembered when he pushed me against his bedroom wall, unaware of the injury his father had caused to my shoulder earlier, because he thought I had run away from him again. His eyes were black.

It was his wolf all along. An animal inside him that he couldn’t control.

“Stop it,” I reprimanded. I could feel his guilt starting to overshadow his joy—and I wasn’t having it. “I already forgave you for everything that happened, even before I knew about your wolf.

“I’ve never questioned the good in you, no matter how confused your behavior made me”—I ran my fingers through his beard, laughing quietly—“or how much of an asshole you were.”

I expected Ace to return my teasing smile, but instead, all he did was stare at me as if he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. As if I were some sort of miracle. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” I pressed my lips to his. “Even at your worst, I love you.”

“And thank the goddess for that.”