022

Sammy Walcott

I barely slept last night. After my run in the rain, I stayed awake for most of the night. I don't know when I finally drifted off to sleep but it was surely too late. I was still sleepy and my limbs felt sore.

Fuck Elijah.

I dragged my feet downstairs, in dire need of caffeine to wake me up. "Morning Mum," I greeted grabbing my ready mug. "How was your night?"

"Peachy." She replied. "How was yours?"

"Not enough. I'll need another mug to survive today." I say. She smiled going around to fix me another coffee.

"School trouble?"

"Yea..."

"Well not to add to your troubles but Dennis haven't really returned home in three nights."

I dropped my empty mug down to think. "That's good right? Could he be gone for good?"

"I don't think so." She dropped the new mug crossing her hands. "His things are still here. This could either be good or big trouble."

My jaw ticked but I was honestly too tired to even think much about this. "It'll be fine mum."

She nodded ending the conversation. She probably saw that I wasn't in the mood for it. I had enough problem on my plate. Problems about my feelings and problems about my sexuality. I also had two test today and a lacrosse game in two days.

Life should just give me a break already. I need some sleep.

The rain was still drizzling by the time I left home. I looked over at Elijah's house, drawing my hood over my head. Would he still need a ride today? How's his leg? And who brought the car out to the road? I didn't need to think much because the car that was parked out started revising until it was right in front of my house.

I squinted my eyes in curiosity as the glass lowered and Elijah's smiling face came into view from the driver's seat. I felt a flutter at just seeing his face.

"What? Is Sammy Walcott afraid of getting wet?" He asked with his usual charming smile and jocular personality and here I thought things would be awkward. "Come on its just a little rain. No harm."

I scoffed. "I'm not afraid dummy. Just thinking about my next step."

"As long as it ends up with you in the car, think as much as you want." He says rolling the windows back up.

I got into the car soon after, dusting water off my hood. "Happy now?"

"Totes." He says with a smile driving off. "I'm hungry, are you?"

"I don't do breakfast." I told him.

"And you don't do lunch. I'm not sure you even do dinner." He says trying to look at me, while driving at the same time.

I shifted uncomfortably in the leather seat. Okay my eating routine is whack and I barely eat, but who cares. I'm still breathing and can still throw a punch around. "Doesn't matter Elijah."

"Matters a whole lot Sammy, you're my only friend and you might look fine but one day, you'll just drop and that we'll be a problem."

"For? For me right? My problem." I said getting irritated already, I don't know if he knows about my anger issues, but he shouldn't be messing with me when I'm bloody tired. "Let it go."

"Fine." He says surprising me. Wow, he is wise afterall. "But I barely got any sleep last night, I'll need caffeine if I'm going to survive today."

"Why did you barely sleep?" I asked curiously.

He parked in front of a small coffee shop, then turned to me. "The rain, it keeps me up."

"Oh."

"Want anything?"

"Nah, I'm thoroughly caffeinated." I answer, he nods then I watch him run out into the rain and into the coffee shop. I sighed closing my eyes in the quiet car, the only sound coming from the rain. My eyes close and I'm just about to drift off to sleep when the door opens again.

That was fast.

"The service in there is great and I'm so lucky, they were giving away double whatever you buy. Cake?"

I eyed him warily before chuckling. Double whatever you buy my ass. "Elijah..."

"Just take it. I can't finish it up." He says putting it into my hand.

I watched him, "Why? I don't need you babysitting me and feeding me too. I can buy whatever, whenever I want."

He turned to me with a serious face. The most serious on him so far. "I know. And I'm not babysitting you or doing this because I have a lot of money. I'm doing this because I care. Your stomach, liver, kidney, they are my problem too. I don't want you hungry and I certainly don't want you to drop one day."

He sighed running a hand through his hair. "I don't know to explain it but I'm doing this for your organs, not you. You do whatever you want but let me take care of them. Its the least I can."

"Fine." I spat out startling him. "Jeez, just shut up already and let me eat."

He smiled in relief and I turned to the window hiding the blush that was creeping in. Why can't he ever be normal? Always saying sappy stuff and messing with me.

"Sammy? We're good right? About last night, it was the only I knew to show my appreciation. And it pretty normal in Louise. No harm done?"

"Yea, I'm good. No harm done." I answer still looking out the window. I expected that and at the same time I didn't.

"Great."

--*--*--

"Whoa no offense Sammy, you look deader than usual." Crystal said watching me as I shut my locker and slid to the ground.

I miscalculated the test today. Its six, six bloody tests. I've not had a single rest since I stepped into school. I've not even seen Elijah.

"I feel deader than usual. I'm so tired." I groaned out pulling my knees to me and dropping my head on them.

"Can I help?" She asked.

I opened an eye, "how?"

I let Crystal drag me to an empty class and soon I was sat on a chair, her hands on my shoulder. "Damn, you're so tense."

"What are you doing?" I ask her.

"My mum's a masseuse. She passed down some skills." She said her hands working on my shoulder and feeling so damn good.

"I don't think skills can be passed down." I tell her and she laughs.

"Whatever, I'm not a smartass."

"Gosh that feels so good." I moaned out feeling my muscles relax.

"I know right. I'm a genius. What's making you so tensed?"

I thought about it for a while and decided to tell her. I have no one else to tell and she's doing me a favour so... "Once upon a time, someone kissed me."

"Ooooo." She said.

"You aren't going to gossip this out, are you?"

"I'm not. I cross my heart." She says.

"Whatever, I'll just kill you when you do." I tell her, then I heard her gulp. "So this someone kissed me and didn't say anything at all. Just brushed it aside like it was nothing and now six years later, I and this someone are getting close again and I'm feeling all this stuff around the someone."

"Stuff like?"

"I love staring and find it difficult to stop. The flutters, the heart skip. The smiles. Everything feels more comfortable with this someone around."

"So you like this someone?"

I stopped. I didn't really have an answer for that.

"Go on."

"Well, this someone kissed me again. Well, more like peck it's was barely a kiss but I was something alright. It kept me up all night."

"In a good way or bad way?"

"How?"

"Like did you keep you up in the 'wow, I want that to happen again' way or in the 'gross, I'm so gonna avoid this someone' "

I didn't need to think about that. "Wow, I want that to happen again."

"So then you like this someone. That's wonderful Sammy. What a lucky girl."

But--but its a guy.

---------------------

Poor Sammy is conflicted.

😔

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