Chapter 30

May include sensitive content...

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After that day Li Yan accidently slept with Xi Jiu, he didn't sneak out to see Shen Nuo. He was frustrated. Three weeks later, he heard from the Imperial Doctor that he was going to be a father. Amid pain, he also felt flourishing love.

He was not good at expressing emotions. And he knew he could only frighten others and make them cry. So he was always patient with Xi Jiu's terrible mood swings. Though he did not spend much time with her, he would visit her occasionally and caresse her big tummy silently. No one knew what he was thinking. His eyes would shine brightly.

At other times, he would lock himself in his chamber, pull out his dagger and would carve beautiful toys out of blocks of wood. He counted days slowly and impatiently waited to hear a certain news. Days turned to weeks and then to months.

Xi Jiu became weak day by day. Li Yan was confused. Doctors said she has no disease and might be feeling uncomfortable because of the pregnancy. He also thought the same until that day, five months later, she spat out blood in a cold morning. She was unconcious for several hours.

Li Yan was horror-stricken. He searched for many doctors to see what was wrong with her, until one evening, a wandering doctor heard the news, came to have a look and said she had been poisoned since several months.

Li Yan felt as if he was stabbed when he heard the doctor say that the poison would lead to a miscarriage. Since the mother had been poisoned for several months, there was no way the baby won't have the poison in his body too. Li Yan begged him to save them both at all costs for which the doctor reluctantly agreed.

Li Yan was also drawn mad. He thoroughly investigated the matter over and over again, secretly. But there was no success. He failed repeatedly. Who would dare to poison her? Yeah, she was the Empress. There were plenty of people who wanted her dead. Again - it was his ignorance...

Li Yan kept this secret from Xi Jiu and consoled her everytime saying all would be fine. She only smiled with her pale and thin face. Two months passed and her condition turned even worse. She often spat out blood. She would cry and make a fuss. And just like that, she dragged her life forcefully for two more months.

Li Yan also remembered how Xi Jiu died. Those were the chaotic days when Li Yang borders were frequently attacked. She came to labor just three night before Li Yan left to pacify the borders.

He was waiting outside the room anxiously with his hands behind his back, walking up and down... In his hands was a beautiful wooden rabbit that was smoothly carved. His fingertips shuddered slightly. His face was pale.

The screams from the room was horrifying and blood curdling. Xi Jiu was a weak girl. If he had known birthing was this torturous he wouldn't even have slept with her.

He was in a mess finally until he heard the weak voice of a crying baby. He did not know how he felt right at the moment. He became a father!!!

The nanny came running to the Emperor after a while and knelt crying furiously. "Your Majesty, the Empress, she-"

Li Yan went pale. The wooden rabbit slipped down his slender fingers. He didn't wait even for a moment. He ran towards the room and to the bed where the empress and the weak kid lied. Others slowly withdrew.

The room was smelling of cruel blood... The Empress looked weak and pale... It looked as though she had lost too much blood.

Li Yan's face went bloodless in an instant when he realized that she was gasping for her breath...

She slowly raised her shuddering hand and weakly wrapped her pale and slender fingertips around his wrist. He clasped her hand back, gulping. "Xi Jiu..."

Xi Jiu's beautiful but weary eyes were stained with tears. There were blood lines down her lips. Her face was ghostly white. She still looked very beautiful. She looked at him with eyes full of affection and love. "Li... Li Yan..."

Li Yan's grasp tightened onto her hand subconsciously. He repeatedly nodded. He did not know why he was like this. Seeing her this way, his heart ached so much. "Li Yan is here! Don't be afraid... You -" He did not know what to say next. He looked at her helplessly. His eyes were red.

He knew what was coming. He felt what was coming. But he was too afraid to face that truth. His heart bled. "Xi Jiu..." He whispered in his slightly shuddering hoarse voice.

But Xi Jiu smiled. "Li Yan ... You look so beautiful when you are feeling ...lost..."  She silently took off the white jade Phoenix Bangle from her wrist and stuffed it into his hand. More and more blood flowed down her lips. "Li Yan, now this belongs to ... little brother Shen Nuo. My son... I don't have the luck to watch him grow. You... Take care of him!'

Li Yan nodded in pain. He did not know why he's saying this. "I will! You! You don't leave!"

But she smiled helplessly. "My time to go is near. I ... have to go."

Li Yan shook his head furiously. It was hurting like hell. His head was feeling like exploding. A tear left his cold eyes. "No!" He whispered furiously. "You promised me... You promised me to watch our child grow together! I hate when you break the promise. I will never forgive you! Xi Jiu -"

But she pressed her fingertips upon his lips stopping him from speaking. "Li Yan, do you know? The happiest thing that I've ever done in this life was ... falling for you, marrying you. I ... loved you truly, did you also feel ... even a slightest bit of affection towards me all these times?"

Li Yan gulped. He wanted to speak but he couldn't. He suddenly felt so terribly guilty. His fault... He failed to look after her properly. Once she used to be a gentle beautiful princess that played over greeny plains and spend a carefree life amid a shower of love and care.

She would have been a great wife oneday. But he pulled her forcefully to live in a hell. He let her watch him love another infront her eyes. He often ignored her. He even didn't know how she was poisoned. He... failed her...

Xi Jiu waited for him to speak. Then after few moments, she slowly nodded, smiling. "It's fine. Li Yan... At least I've loved you truly..."

Li Yan shook his head like mad. "No! I didn't mean that! I, I -"

Warm glassy tears left the ends of her long and beautiful red eyes. Her lashes trembled slightly. Her eyelids shuddered a several times before shutting close forever.

And Xi Jiu died just like that. He said nothing, just grasped her hand and kept looking at her like that for a long time. The room was filled with the crying of a weak baby. It was midnight and the candles were gloomy.

Tears felled down his expressionless face continuously but if he showed his emotions, it would have been very painful. "Xi Jiu, I failed you as a husband." He whispered hoarsely. He gulped. He slowly leaned down and kissed her cold blood stained lips gently.

"No one can replace you in my heart, Xi Jiu... If we ever have a rebirth, let's be born as brother and sister..."

He took the little baby in his arms.The little baby looked fat and healthy. He looked very cute. The moment he saw his father, he stopped crying and smiled, grasping from his fingertips.

Li Yan's tears felled down heavily onto the little baby. He gulped and kissed his son's forehead, snuggling him into his arms like he was the last ray of light amid the scary darkness. "She...left. You can't! Li... Minghe..."

And that was how the Crown Prince was born.

Minghe was also carrying the poison of his mother. He struggled for his life for many years long and was gradually saved by the dedication of doctors day and night...

The next day, Li Yan left to the battle after the rituals of his late Empress. The child was handed over to the wife of Prime Minister to be taken care of until he returns.

He returned in victory after a violent battle and his fierceness almost scared the enemy to death... While he was on his way, with his terrifying army following at his heels, suddenly in a street, he saw a little mellow girl popping her head out of a high window in a brothel and his heart stopped beating for a while. Xi Jiu???

He pulled the reins of his leisurely walking horse and the horse stopped, slashing around it's long black tail gracefully. But Li Yan was looking at the woman who looked like Xi Jiu... She looked ninety nine percent like Xi Jiu...

The woman was a brothel girl. Of course she knew the Emperor was on his way after the battle. She had heard that the young Emperor was the most handsome person among the rarely existing beauties. She only wanted to steal a glimpse.

But she was amazed to have him paused at her which she didn't expect in the least. She lived in a brothel. She knew how to deal with men. She presented him with an enchanting smile and a graceful bow. But Li Yan kept staring at her coldly and coldly. She was confused at first.

But suddenly a guard dressed in black who stood beside the Emperor noticed her and shouted out in a murderous voice. "How dare you lowly woman! His Majesty is the Emperor! Your father! Everybody is on the ground and bowing! How dare you stand above the Emperor!!?"

The girl looked stunned. She suddenly realized why Li Yan was glaring.

"Drag her down!" That guard shouted.

No sooner she was pulled out of the brothel forcefully. She was thrown into the middle of the street forth the Emperor. She was frightened. She shuddered. She didn't dare to raise her head anymore and weakly lied on the street like she was dead.

A moment later, she heard the sound of a person getting of a horse and the sound of steps drew nearer. Then cold fingertips raised her head from the chin. She raised her shivering face and looked at the face of the cold and the handsome frightening Emperor. She couldn't speak a word. She was scared.

Li Yan, who kept staring at her, pursed his thin lips and gritted his teeth tightly. "Your name?" He asked grimly.

"Your Majesty, Shi... Shi Lianhua... Others call me Shi Jiu..."

Li Yan had a flash of emotions in his eyes but since his face looked colder and freezing it was hard to fathom whether the emotions were due to delight or sorrow. Both looked appealing.

But she was taken back. What was happening? Li Yan kept staring at her as if to sieve her soul before he picked her up without warning. She gasped. The soldiers who stood in lines behind him looked stunned but they lowered their heads and didn't dare to look up.

Li Yan silently pulled her into a bridal carry and brought her to his tall warhorse. He threw her onto the saddle before mounting himself behind her. She was shocked. He said nothing else. And just like that, she was brought into the Palace and was given a title in the harem.

She couldn't be the Empress since she was a whore. So he gave her the highest post she could have. He gave her the post as a Noble Consort of his. Thus, she became Noble Consort Lian of the harem.

During their wedding night, he visited her and sat on the bed by her side. The red candles burned dimly. He didn't sleep with her. He only removed her veil and acknowledged her. He took out a beautiful white jade bangle carved with beautiful phoenixes. That bangle had an owner before... That person used to look like the same as the girl by his side now.

They had the same face, same smile and the same voice. He gave it to her and snuggled her for a long time. His face was still cold but his eyes were slightly moist. After having hugged her for three hours long, he removed her ornaments and pressed her down the sheets, pulling the red quilt over her. Then he left without speaking.

For three more years he was silent. He and his son were quite  inseparable. He always kept his son close to him and didn't let anyone near. He never trusted anyone regarding matters of his son...

But he didn't forget to spend time with Consort Lian. He would daily visit her and kiss her often... That was what Empress Xi liked the most. He fulfilled her wishes and gave her everything. He willingly listened to everything she would speak as if he missed each and every moment with her, like he cherished every moment with her. But he never slept with Lian.

This didn't have mutual love or trust. He only tried to get off the guilt he had been feeling all these times. But in the depths of his heart, he still missed someone badly. And that was his Nuo Nuo...

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Ok! Now do you know how Consort Lian came to being?