Chapter 45

Shen Nuo did not understand what was happening or who it was. His eyes widened in horror. But before he could think anything else his face met with an extremely handsome face that looked seventy percent familiar.

Their noses almost knocked against each other in the pressure.

"Shhhhhhhhhhh!" An extremely familiar voice whispered in his ear. "Don't move! It's me!"

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Shen Nuo was flabbergasted. It was Zhanhua!!! He was attired in casual dresses, no difference from those normal dresses that farmers and similar people wore. But in that suit, he was... extremely handsome...

Blood rushed to Shen Nuo's face when he was tightly pressed onto the wall by that person. He tried to struggle out but Zhanhua restrained him hard. "I'm trying to help!" He whispered furiously, pressing Shen Nuo even hard onto the wall.

Shen Nuo's scalp went numb. The alluring fragrance of Camphor hit his nose. Zhanhua's palm was across his mouth and he couldn't even move his lips. He felt dizzy as half his breath was blocked.

Zhanhua's face was stiff and pale. His brows were creased. His ears perked up to the slightest sound that he could hear. The door was thrown open and a tall person entered inside. Shen Nuo was facing the curtain. The daylight stole through, making the red curtain somewhat translucent in his view, and he immediately knew it was -

Li Yan!

Shen Nuo's heart jumped into his mouth. His eyes widened in terror. He knew he had to keep calm now if he did not want to get caught. But a cold shudder ran down his back convulsively. He couldn't control the shock he felt at all.

Zhanhua felt it clearly. He carefully cupped Shen Nuo's face in his palms and locked his eyes with him, mouthing word by word, softly and without making a voice. "Don't. Look. Out. Look. At. Me."

Shen Nuo shuddered even madly when he felt how close Zhanhua's face was. His fingertips trembled. His face flushed red and his breath slowly became ragged. What was happening?

Li Yan looked around the room sharply with his hateful gaze and didn't seem to notice any abnormality. Then suddenly he saw a silvery blue tassel dropped by the window. He slowly came towards the tassel and picked it up.

His heart froze stunned in incredulous disbelief. He obviously knew to whom this belonged to... He had seen countless times that person wearing this by the side of his waist belt when he wasn't in his duty. But... Didn't he just see Shen Nuo inside this room when he was still down there in the roads? What was that person doing inside the room with Shen Nuo?

Since the day Li Yan temporarily lost his cultivation, his senses had been really bad. He couldn't sense danger anymore. He even didn't feel the taste of what he ate. And now his hearing and sensing ability was too low and weak. He knew the other party was obviously careful enough not to leave any clue about them.

Li Yan pursed his thin lips. His eyes suddenly had a touch of moist. Since he already knew what's going in here, what's the use of waiting here for further inquiry? It would only make him angry and mad. He may as well leave... His hand clenched onto the light blue jade tassel tightly. His eyes narrowed into slits and his teeth gritted tightly behind his pursed lips. But the wetness in his eyes had betrayed him as he lowered his head to look at the blue jade tassel...

And Shen Nuo who happened to see the close shadow bent down and pick up something probably he might have dropped, he felt thunderstruck. His eyes widened in terror. He looked at Zhanhua furiously and helplessly.

Li Yan was just standing on the other side of the curtain to the spot where they stood. Zhanhua's eyes widened too. He knew he had gone too far even to plead mercy from the Emperor if they are caught now.

Shen Nuo was already breathing hard and shivering. It was alarming. Only if he could draw Shen Nuo's attention from going towards Li Yan and getting caught...

Zhanhua didn't think twice. One of the hands that was across Shen Nuo's cheek slid back gently and firmly wrapped around Shen Nuo's nape. Shen Nuo's eyes widened. But before he could do anything, Zhanhua pressed his thin and slightly warm lips against the gentle curve of Shen Nuo's nose.

Shen Nuo froze stunned in shock that he couldn't utter a single word. His adam's apple slid down his flushed but supple throat. For a moment, a pair of dark brown and pools of deep black eyes met and locked.

Zhanhua did not know whether he was doing this because this was the only option left for him to draw Shen Nuo's attention or whether he had already started to long for Shen Nuo in his dreams day and night.

Zhanhua was holding his breath. But he was already red around his neck and cheeks. The heat that left his skin was clearly apparent. But he refused to move away his eyes from Shen Nuo and daringly kept staring at him.

Shen Nuo felt dizzy. His eyes slowly unfocussed and closed. He wanted to push away Zhanhua. He did not like this. He pressed his shuddering palms against Zhanhua's chest and tried to push.

But the fragrance of Camphor had already made him weak. The palm that was pressed onto Zhanhua's chest happened to slid down few inches in his weakness, brushing past in a seductive touch.

Shit!

Zhanhua immediately went stiff. He forcefully suppressed a low groan that was about to leave his lips. He couldn't take any longer. He bit down Shen Nuo's supple skin that he was pressing with his lips.

Shen Nuo shuddered and his red eyes moistened immediately. He grasped from Zhanhua's waist and gritted his teeth, standing still and trying to calm down.

Li Yan who checked around the room warily didn't seem to check behind the curtain. He stood silently for a moment and then strode out of the room swiftly.

The moment his footsteps disappeared down the stairway, the curtain was drawn away.

Shen Nuo slapped Zhanhua across the ear with flashing eyes. He was breathing hard. He obviously knew Zhanhua was trying to silence him but he still could not get out of the shock. Since the day he was marked by Zhanhua, he felt that Zhanhua wasn't the same person once he used to be... He dared!

Zhanhua didn't say anything. He silently accepted the slap with downcasted eyes. Then when Shen Nuo didn't seem to continue, he slowly raised his eyes and locked them with Shen Nuo again. They had a difficult emotion to understand. He gulped.

"I'm sorry." He whispered hoarsely. "I'm sorry for what I did, and what I'm going to do now!"

Without letting Shen Nuo speak a word, he pulled Shen Nuo towards him, wrapped his strong and slender arm around Shen Nuo's waist and jumped out of the window.

His other hand held the railing tightly and his foot tapped the sill of the window. By the next moment, he climbed the wall skillfully using his lightness gong fu and stepped onto the roof.

Then he hurried skillfully over the roofs with Shen Nuo over his left shoulder. "You must hurry back to the Palace. Consort Shen, forgive me for being rude..."

"Stop!"

"No."

"I told you to stop!!!" Shen Nuo shouted resisting forcefully. "How dare you!"

Zhanhua was forced to get down from the roof into a deserted lane by an alley.

Shen Nuo's eyes were slightly red. "Zhanhua, answer me honestly. Was it you who entered into the brothel with Prime Minister Qing?"

Zhanhua lowered his head. "Yes."

Shen Nuo laughed softly and that voice felt hurt. He couldn't speak for a long time. Then almost in a whispery voice, he uttered hoarsely.  "So you were the one who was helping Prime Minister Qing to raise a personal army to fight against Li Yan, is it?"

Zhanhua's eyes widened. He opened his mouth furiously. But then suddenly he realized no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't explain it himself. He was deceived and tricked into joining the forces of Prime Minister under the fake reason of preparing a birthday present for the Emperor.

But when he realized everything, it was already too late. Would Shen Nuo believe him even if he try to reason out with him now? He was already deeply involved there would be no turning back.

Zhanhua let out a sigh. "Consort Shen, it's not what you think. Listen to me, I -"

"Then what do you think it is, Minister Yue?" Shen Nuo said with disbelief and loath in his eyes. "I was wondering why I couldn't investigate the matter of Prime Minister's crime further. So the truth is you were actually helping him cover the crime from the court, am I right?"

"Shen Nuo..."

"Don't call me that!" Shen Nuo glared at him. "Minister Yue, I only want to know one more thing now." He said in a shaken voice. "Did Li Yan really kill you in his last life?"

Zhanhua went pale. His mouth opened low but he did not know what to say. How did Shen Nuo know? Could it be he also shares the memories of his previous life? Just like him?

Shen Nuo smiled with red eyes and in that smile was so much pain. "Don't pretend like you know nothing, Minister Yue, from the moment I felt you were overly protective about Minghe, I had my own doubts."

Zhanhua was in a mess. Shen Nuo wasn't supposed to know any of these. He had been carefully hiding everything this far and was trying to stop the mishaps that would take the life of the person he loved.

Minghe's death was the main cause for that person's death in his previous life. In this life, he swore to himself he would never let anything happen to that person. But ... How did that person know???

"Minister Yue, in your last life, you barely had any relation with Minghe." Shen Nuo said with red eyes. "But in this life, you became his tutor and even went to lengths even to investigate the matter by yourself. Do you call this a mere coincidence? Or am I wrong?"

The slightly curved fingertips of Zhanhua slightly shuddered. He was feeling lost. "I -"

"Did Li Yan really kill you in his last life?" Shen Nuo repeated again with glassy eyes full of tears.

Zhanhua gulped and looked down, keeping gravely silent. He did not say anything.

Shen Nuo's eyes were very red. He laughed gently and it was wrenched with so much pain. "So Li Yan never killed you, right? He released you instead and then you fled back to your country, isn't it?"

Still silence....

Shen Nuo nodded darkly, accepting the silence as conviction. "Then tell me who on earth attacked Li Yang after I was detained."

Still silence...

Shen Nuo nodded again, hatefully. "Zhanhua, do you know how much I hated Li Yan for killing you? But he never told me that he released you. Do you know he did that for your own good?"

Zhanhua opened his mouth this time but finally chose to keep quiet.

"Why? Why on earth???" Shen Nuo shouted hoarsely. "Zhanhua I'm asking you!!!"

Zhanhua after a long time, slowly raised his face, tightening his jaws and his red eyes were suddenly frightening. His face was deadly pale. His lips were drawn into a thin line. "Do you think I wanted to?" He asked in a hoarse voice. "Do you think I wanted to attack Li Yang?"

Shen Nuo narrowed his eyes. "But you did."

"Yes!" Zhanhua shouted finally, unable to take it anymore. "It was me who attacked Li Yang while you were prisoned and knew nothing of what was happening!"

Shen Nuo was bewildered. He had never seen Zhanhua loose his rationality like this. He took a step back in incredulous disbelief.

What he wanted to hear was a no, it wasn't like that. But this was too shocking. For nearly ten years he tortured Li Yan mentally and hated him. All was because he thought Li Yan killed that person... So all these times, Li Yan had been hiding everything from him. He never told him anything and bore everything for himself.

And all amid this, when the truth that was burried for a lifetime was revealed, Shen Nuo did not know what to feel.

So it was actually this way. He had mistaken Li Yan all the way long for a whole lifetime... His eyes moistened even more. His face went pale. "What are you saying..."

Zhanhua suddenly took a step closer and his eyes were moist and red at the ends. "Do you want to know why I attacked Li Yang back then?"

Shen Nuo took a several steps back in nervousness. "What are you doing!!? Back off!!!" The road side wall pressed hard onto his back, freezing him dead in his movements. His eyes widened.

But Zhanhua took another step closer. He didn't seem to be in his senses right now. His eyes slightly turned amber at the rings around his pupils. "Would you believe me if I say I attacked Li Yang only to rescue you?"

Shen Nuo's jaw dropped.

"I knew you were framed. I came to rescue you. But when I came back, it was already too late. You were gone..."

"But why would you do that, Minister Yue?" Shen Nuo said coldly, trying to regain his shattering rationality. But his voice shuddered slightly. "You wanted to save me, or wanted to seize Li Yang?"

Zhanhua's eyes were suddenly bloodshot. He took another dangerous step closer. "If I tell you that the reason was a third?" His voice was hoarse and misty.

Shen Nuo shook his head furiously. "Zhanhua, back off!"

But Zhanhua didn't. He took another step closer. "If I say that even by then, I was madly in love with you, would you believe me?"

Shen Nuo was horror struck. He wanted to speak but he couldn't.

Zhanhua smiled but that smile was really frightening. "Did you know how I felt the moment I saw your dead body when I arrived in the palace? Hmm?"

Shen Nuo shut his eyes tightly, raising his head and leaning hard onto the wall. "Don't! Don't speak anymore!"

Zhanhua laughed softly, shaking his head. "Yes!" He said bitterly. "I'm selfish! I know I shouldn't be loving you! I know I shouldn't be doing this! You're already married, and still I love you and can't help it. Nuo Nuo, because - "

" - Stop it... Just stop it..."

"Because from day to night what my mind thinks is all about you! Even I'm startled to find myself zoned out during the court sessions, wondering if you had eaten enough, slept enough -"

"Zhanhua you f@#king stop that!"

Zhanhua didn't move away his eyes from Shen Nuo. "Why don't you ask me why I'm so protective of Minghe now? Hmm? Why don't you ask why I decided to involve myself in Prime Minister's crime? I'm the Crown Prince of Xian Yan. My family is still awaiting my arrival. I can be the next Emperor of an Empire itself. But why do you think I'm still waiting here? Why do you think I'm reluctant to leave?"

Shen Nuo felt lame. "Don't... Don't speak anymore..

"Nuo Nuo, because I don't want Minghe to die. I don't want Prime Minister to rebel. I don't want to go home either. Because all beyond anything, I don't want you to be framed in this life too. Do you understand?"

Shen Nuo was stunned. This was the first time in his life that he got confessed like this. His heart was in a terrible mess. "Zhanhua, I warn you, don't dream too much."

Zhanhua smiled bitterly. His face looked very painful and sad. He nodded his head slowly. "I will... But my heart won't..."

"Zhanhua it's impossible between us. Try to understand! I'll never fall in for you."

But Zhanhua took that last warning step of limit between the two of them and pressed his forehead against Shen Nuo's, with a painful smile and whispered. "I will wait. I will wait until that day you'll feel like that about me."

Shen Nuo shuddered in Zhanhua's arms violently. He was completely dizzy. He couldn't speak anymore and was completely drawn defenceless by the chilling fragrance of Camphor. "Let... go of me, you..."

But Zhanhua did not let go. He slipped one of his strong arms under Shen Nuo's knees while with the other, he held Shen Nuo's back. He raised him as if his weight was nothing and snuggled him closer to his chest.

"Nuo Nuo, I was too afraid to confront you in my last life. But in this life, no matter even if it costs my death, I'll never let you go..."

And not far away, behind from a tree, a voice spoke softly. "How very touching!" That voice vehemently suppressed anger but deeper to it was unbearable sorrow...

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