The Bath-time War

It all started when Penny decided to take the bots out in the backyard to blow off some energy from breakfast. How quickly she forgot that it had rained the night before, creating massive mud puddles everywhere. This was only made worse when she discovered they could all transform into cars and planes.

Penny had stepped inside to grab her galoshes only to come back out to find all of them tossing mudballs at each other like projectiles. Starscream had taken mud in his arms and divebombing Bumblebee. Breakdown was chasing Bulkhead, using his hammer to pound mud on his frame. Dreadwing hid behind the lawn chair while Smokescren threw mud at the chair. Suddenly, he found himself covered in tons of mud that had exploded from the mud balloon that Dreadwing had flung. Soundwave hid behind the tree, Laserbeak floating above him as he was ambushed by Arcee, who was flinging mud at him. Optimus and Megatron were wrestling each other in the massive mud puddle, Megatron having quite the advantage. Penny noticed that Ratchet and Knockout had wisely chosen to stay inside the treehouse and watched the carnage from above. She sighed loudly and rubbed her forehead. They just had to going mud all over the place didn't they? She walked out into the battlefront, the mudballs stopped flying and the bots stopped fighting. Starscream landed on the ground while Dreadwing got from behind the chair. Arcee ceased her mud flinging while Laserbeak flew towards Penny happily. Penny patted the small drone as it landed on her shoulder. Bumblebee started to waddle towards her as well, his entire frame thick with mud.

"Penny!" He exclaimed happily, hugging her jeans, covering them with mud. "Are you ready to play with us now?"

"What in the world is going on out here? I leave for two seconds and the entire yard looks like a total warzone!" She screamed, all of them coming towards her. She crossed her arms and gave them all a stern look."Can anyone please explain to me what went wrong here?"

Bulkhead rubbed the back of his neck. "Well Penny, we all wanted to play together, but it we sorta got carried away."

"But then Starscream flung some mud at me!" Bumblebee said, climbing his way up her leg. "That's when the real fight started."

"Breakdown was only trying to defend Knockout until Smokescreen started to toss mud at me." Dreadwing put his two cents in, glaring at the rowdy autobot.

"I only did it because Soundwave jumped into the puddle where Arcee was playing!" Smokescreen said.

"Uh huh, and why was Megatron fighting Optimus again?" She picked up the small tyrant and brought him to her face. "What have I told you about fighting the others? I thought enough timeouts would get through your head."

"Carrier! Optimus started it!" Little Megatron whined, flailing his arms around in discomfort. "I was just trying to finish what he started."

"Optimus did not start the fight!" Ratchet and Knockout approached the group after making it down from the tree house. "Megatron flung some mud at him and-!"

"ENOUGH! I DON'T CARE HOW THIS ALL STARTED ANYMORE!" Penny said, putting Megatron down and raising a hand. "You guys are filthy and covered in mud. I was trying to have a relaxing day, but I guess you leave me no choice." There was an air of menace that came off from her as they all backed away slowly. Penny chuckled evilly as a glint came off her eyes. "You guys are in need of a bath."

Knockout was happy to receive a free car wash from Penny. He had grown to love being pampered by her after she had purchased a buffer and many delicate soaps for everyone. He was in the bathroom with her as she filled up the tub to the brim with steamy water. Using her elbow, she tested it to make sure it was just right. Knockout gleefully helped put the bubble soap in to make the bathtub sparkle with bubbles.

"Thanks again K.O, although it's strange really." Penny said, putting in some various toys. "You seem to be the only one who enjoys getting washed throughly. All the others want a quick bath or playtime in the tub."

"What can I say, I love it when you bathe me! You scrub in all the right places!" He replied, sitting on the toilet. "Bathtime is my time to get to know you better!"

Penny patted his helm and gave him a smile. "Okay my little fashionista, you go round up the others. I need to see if we have enough water toys for the bunch of you."

Knockout nodded and leapt off the toilet. He ran out the door to get the others in the foyer. Penny shook her head before turning her attention back to the tub. Millions of bubbles floated everywhere while toy boats, guns, and bath puppets floated gently. She also remembered to put the duck that Soundwave affectionately named "Duckybeak" in the water for him. Taking a step back, she turned the water off and smiled at the finished product of her kiddie tub. A light knock was heard as Optimus tapped the door, asking for entrance. Penny giggled and thought of an idea.

"If it isn't King Optimus of the Drake estate!" She said with flourish, opening the door for him. "You're bubble bath awaits, my lord."

Optimus was taken aback for a second before he realized that she was playing a game. He smiled at her and walked in with his head up with pride.

"Good morrow to you, Queen Penny." He said in an equally regal voice. "I hope that our bathtime will be most pleasant."

"Of course it shall, for I have decreed it!"

He laughed as she picked him up and gently set him in the tub. Bumblebee followed in after with Smokescreen, then Arcee and Bulkhead clambered in as well.

"Welcome to the Royal Tub, Prince Smokescreen," Smokescreen grinned and puffed his chest as she put him in. "Knights Bee and Bulk," The duo saluted her as she out them in. "The lovely Lady Arcee," Arcee laughed as she was placed in. Ratchet walked in after, still grumbling at the prospect of a bath. "And Mage Ratchet!" He gave her a shocked look as she placed him in the tub. "The Royal Court of King Optimus has arrived!"

All the autobots laughed at her bowing funny just as the decepticons walked in. Megatron raised a eyebrow at her antics while Starscream sighed with admiration. Dreadwing also gave her a goofy grin. Knockout hopped up and down excitedly while Breakdown tried to calm him. Soundwave said nothing, but smiled behind his mask. Penny stopped what she was doing and smiled at the cons.

"Why if it isn't King Megatron and his court!" She said, making Megatron even more confused. "My Lord Megatron, you must get into the Royal tub!"

It took Megatron five seconds before he realized that she was talking to him. He smiled at being called "lord" and played along with her. "Thank you Carrier Penny. You have my permission to escort me to the bath!" With that, he raised his arms as Penny plopped him in the tub.

"Hey! I want to be king too!" Starscream screeched, waving his arms. "No fair!"

Penny groaned internally as she picked him up, giving him a kiss on the wings. "But then who will be my little prince?"

Starscream blushed bright blue as he was put into the tub. He was her Prince Charming like in the stories she read them every night? He smiled widely, not feeling the glare that was radiating from Bumblebee.

"Sir Dreadwing, Sir Breakdown, you are the knights of his royal highness." Penny picked them both up and put them in the tub. "Protect him with your very lives."

"I shall be like the knights in the book with that kid king!" Dreadwing exclaimed, splashing water around.

"Can I be a mage? I want to be a mage!" Knockout said, Penny agreeing with him as she put him in the tub. That left Soundwave, who was latched on her back once more, getting her muddy. She took him off and put him him next to Duckybeak.

"And you shall be the spy!" She declared, making him nod while he played with the duck.

"Now I have both kingdoms playing in harmony in the bath! Queen Penny has done it again!" She said, getting the sponge ready to wash their dirty frames. The rest of the bots splashed water, played with the toy boats, and shot each other with the water guns.

"Wait...Carrier Penny is a queen?" Megatron asked, spraying water on Starscream. "Does that mean she is married to a king?"

Penny squeaked and blushed at that question. She shook her head rapidly. "No honey, I rule my kingdom alone. But someday I will find someone to love and care for like I do with you guys."

"I'll be your Prince Charming, Queen Penny!" Starscream yelled, swimming to the edge of the tub. "We can get married and live in a bigger castle than King Megatron or King Optimus!"

"Wait a minute, I want to marry Queen Penny!" Smokescreen said, pushing him into the water. "She deserves a sparkmate with redeeming qualities!"

"Correction: I will marry Queen Penny." Everyone turned to face Sounwave who squeaked Duckybeak. "Soundwave: Superior Sparkmate!"

"No way! I wanna marry Penny! She and I will be a couple!" Bumblebee said, aiming his gun at Sounwave before firing.

Megatron snarled at this before splashing the whole left side of the tub. "She won't be marrying either of you because I am king! And kings always marry beautiful queens!" He glared at Optimus on the other side. "Don't try to interfere with my courting either Prime!"

Penny sighed as the water went flying all over the place. She could really use a long vacation or have Izzy babysit them while she went to the park. Sighing, she took Knockout and started to wash his frame while his engine purred in delight. I guess I'll have to wait until they settled down before I wash them.

Ten minutes went by and she had successfully washed all of them, dried and fluffed them, and put them on the couch. Satisfied, she went into the kitchen to prepare some lunch for them and her. Putting all the oil into separate cups and a turkey and cheese sandwich on her plate, she walked into the living room to find a pillow fort and a blanket fort in the midst of her living room.

This was going to be a long afternoon.