CHAPTER 18

AYLA

I didn't have to wear thick bandages anymore. I could just wear regular ones. It has been two weeks since the incident. My wounds were healing well, according to the doctor and Mia. I was allowed to walk around, as long as I had enough energy-filled food to keep functioning properly throughout the day.

It was the early morning. Before the sun would even rise, I would wake up and couldn't go back to sleep. My nightmares were still regular, but I have learned to live with them. I am quick to adapt since that's what I had to do for years.

I got up from my bed and grabbed a small cotton blanket that I drape over my shoulders. I tye my hair into a quick messy bun and walked out of my room. I quietly opened Milo's door and saw he was still fast asleep. I shut the door and made sure to check on him later on.

I made my way downstairs and made a cup of steaming hot coffee. I put on my shoes and went outside. I always loved dawn. Everything, even the forest was still asleep. There is a sense of something mystical hanging in the air that somehow freshens me. I walked around the pack area and observed everything. Everything was so familiar to me. It's strange seeing everything exactly as they were before I left. It's like I never left. In a way it was comforting, it made feel like the horrific things I went through never happened.

As I was wandering around, I somehow ended up at my old house. I haven't been here at all. I haven't even thought about it. And yet, as I behold it now...my heart ached more. The last time I was here I was a teenager, an eighteen-year-old.

I stepped up into the porch. My heart rate increased. I looked around the entrance. So many memories are held here. Both good and bad. I remember climbing up these steps when Soul would drop me off everyday after school. I shake my head and took a deep breath.

I placed my hand on the door and pushed it open. it was unlocked. The door creaked open. I stepped inside and my breath hitched. I felt my heart stop. Everything was the exact same. Nothing has been touched. I felt myself shake. It looked the exact same as the day I left it. I walked through in the place and saw that even the mess that was still there. I looked at the unfolded sheets in the basket near the tv. I remember dad telling me to fold those before I left, but I never did.

I went to the kitchen. The kitchen was different. It was completely cleaned out. I walked through to the stairs and slowly went up. I touched the rails and remember the day Solomon and I got in trouble because we sled down these rails and broke them. My dad made Solomon fix them.  smiled at the memory.

I reached the top and saw the door to my bedroom slightly agape. I pushed through and saw my old bedroom. Nothing had changed at all. My bed was still unmade. My clothes were a mess on the floor. This was really weird. It was literally like I never left. It was like nothing happened at all and I was still that teenager.

I looked at the crack in the window and smiled. Solomon tried t sneak through the window, but he accidentally kicked it, giving it a good crack. I looked at my desk and see my old computer. I tilted my head and wondered if it still worked.

I sat down and pressed the on button. And to my surprise, the screen lit up. I felt the air release from my lungs as I saw the background of my computer. It was Solomon and me. We were at our favorite diner. We were both sipping milkshakes while I was holding out my locket from my neck. It was his present to me. I was trying to not smile too much in the photo while sipping the straw, but I couldn't help it. I had a giant smile. And Solomon, he was sipping his straw with a genuine smile too. I remember when this was taken, it was our one-year anniversary.

Ever since I woke up in the hospital. I felt like I've changed. I felt like the shield I had, the wall was crumbling. But it wasn't the wall to keep people out, it was a wall to keep me in. The one to protect myself from all of the things I was feeling. If I didn't feel, I could survive. That was my way of thinking. But ever since I woke up, it was gone. And I think it was because my survival mode has finally been switched...and I'm feeling again. So when I see this photo, I can't help but feel a wave of longing and sadness. I pressed on the photo album and more images popped up. There was one of us before we dated. We were just friends. I was sitting on the giant rock at the lake. Solomon was next to me and it was sunset. I was doing a silly face and Solomon was in the background laughing. Another photo popped up, I was sitting under a tree reading while holding my locket. Solomon took this. The next one made me laugh, I was looking up from the book scowling at Solomon for taking the picture.

I didn't know I was crying until my vision began to blur. I felt like I was grieving. I felt like I am mourning the death of the Solomon that I knew. The Solomon that I loved. But also the old me too. The old me that made me...ME! I wish I could go back in time and stay in these happy moments. I wish all of this was just a bad dream, and I would wake up in Solomon's arms. My mate's arms. He was my mate and my best friend. That's the best kind of combination anyone could dream of. But now we're all messy and I hate it. I want to love him again, I want my mate back...but I knew that inside, I would resent him because it was true, if it wasn't for him, none of this would have happened.

But there is still such a strong yearning to be with Solomon. Yet, my defensive mechanism is telling me that he will hurt me. And I don't think I can take much hurting anymore.

Oh how I wish that we could go back to when things weren't complicated. When we just simply loved each other. When we could simply be us. I wish I didn't resent him, I wish I held nothing against him, I wish I could forgive him. I wish I could do all of these things, but I couldn't. Too much has happened for such sweet simplicity.

A creak in the floor has me instantly on edge. All thoughts of Solomon were out of my mind. I sit in my seat as I listen. The steps suddenly ran away and assuming, out of the house.

I frowned. Why did they run away? I stand my my chair and quietly made my way out the door. The silence was loud in the house. A strange scent ti fled my nose that made me cringe.

I made my way towards the stairs. When I looked down into the lower level, my heart stopped. Everything was in flames.

SOLOMON

I was walking to do patrolling when I heard little pitter patter of feet following me. I stopped and turned around, "You can't come with, Milo. This is dangerous."

Milo clapped his hands together saying, "Please please pleeaaase. I promise I'll be good! I'll do everything that you say."

I stood there for a moment, thinking it over. Ayla would kill me if I took him with me. Especially now that we are at war with Kendrick. But then I look into his eyes and see he is yearning to do this. I've missed the first five years of my son's life. I'm not going to miss anymore.

I cautiously nodded my, "But! You do exactly as I say, do you understand me, Milo?"

He nods his head fast and excitedly. I chuckle and grab a hold of his hand, "Alright, come on. But you always hang on to me, okay? You never let go of my shirt."

"Yes, Pa." Milo grabs the back of my shirt as we walked further into the forest. As I feel him following closely behind, my heart moved at this intimacy. I have a son. Every time Milo call's me Pa, it was different. It was strange because I didn't even know I had a son until a month ago. And now I have a five-year-old son. Even though I've only known him for a month, I loved him with all my heart. I would die for my son.

But also couldn't shake the sense of guilt that eats away at me every day. Milo was born in a place full of death, of suffering and pain. And I was responsible for it. I know he's such a happy and positive kid right now, but I know in the future, when he grows up to be a full grown wolf, he will be angry with me. He will be angry for what I did to his mother, what I did to him, what I stole from him. And I deserve it.  At least before then, I can savor moments like these, where my son wants to be around me.

I stopped in a good area and sat down on a log. However, Milo doesn't sit. He stands straight and watches the area. His eyes constantly scanning the place. Pride bursts through me. He was so strong, so protective. I was proud that he was my son. I will make sure he is nothing like me when he is older. I will teach him to protect, cherish and love his mate, something I didn't do...and now look at me.

"What're you doing, Milo?" I ask.

"Making sure there are no bad wolves because if there is, I'm gonna kick their butts."

I chuckle, "You are your mother's son."

Milo giggles and walks to me. He stands right in front of me and just looks at my face. He was not giggling, but he wasn't smiling either. He seemed curious as he stared. He raises his hand and he touches my cheeks. His eyes scanning every inch of my face. He tilts his head and places both hands on my cheeks and stretches my face. He feels my stubble and my brows. And then he grips on my hair a little.

"What're you doing, son?" I ask.

Milo was quiet for a moment. He stood there staring into my eyes. I almost didn't want to look at him in fear that he would see how tainted I was. But instead, he smiled at me, "You're my Pa," he stated, "The other kids had Pa's, but I didn't. Ma said it was because we were lost and you couldn't find us."

I nodded my head, letting him know I was listening. Milo leaned in and whispered, "Now that we're not lost, you have to protect Ma. I'm still too little. So you have to do it." He said this so innocently. But it held so much depth. My son was asking me to protect his mother, my mate. This struck me to the core. Milo had to witness his mother getting hurt and he couldn't do anything. He saw her pain and suffering, it was what he was born into.

I nodded my head, "I'll protect your Ma, Milo. I'm going to keep her safe." Milo smiled and then goes and begins to pick up rocks like everything he said didn't just blow me away.

A loud noise pierced my ear. The warning bells.

I felt Noah mind link me We're under attack.

I instantly stood and picked up Milo, he yelped in fright. "Milo, you hold on tight, okay? That pack is in trouble." Milo's eyes widen in fear, but he circles his arms around my neck tightly and buried himself in my shoulder. I hold on to my son firmly and I sprint as hard as I could back to the Pack.

As I saw the pack my heart dropped. It was on fire. Burning flames were everywhere. AYLA. I looked to my left and saw Eddie with Zay. I ran towards them, "What happened!?"

Eddie was holding Zay when he said, "We don't know, everything suddenly went on fire. There were no foreign wolves or anything."

I pass Milo to Eddie, "Take care of him, I need to find Ayla." Eddie grabs a hold of Milo and nods his head.

I sprint around, yelling, "AYLA!" I saw the pack house. It was in complete flames. NO!

I was about to sprint in when someone grabbed me from behind, "She's not in there. I saw her at her old house to the east." Noah said.

I nodded my head and I sprinted as hard as I could. Please don't let it be too late. As I come to see her old house. Fire was consuming it quickly. I broke into the house and instantly covered my face from the boiling heat.

"Ayla" I yelled out. But there was no response. I ran up the stairs and went to her room. I see her on the desk, hunched over. I grab a hold of her and lift her into my arms. She groans and coughs while unconscious. I went to leave the room, but the entrance was in flames.

I look at the window. I kicked the glass and it shattered. I step through it unto the roof holding Ayla tightly. I breathe heavily from inhaling smoke. I look behind me and see the fire claimed her room.

I hold Ayla firmly as I jumped off the room and unto the ground. I lay her down on the ground and examine whether she had any injuries. I release breathe of relief when I saw there were none. She lay unconscious on the ground. I pull her into my arms and cup her cheek. I pressed my lips to her forehead. It seemed to be the only intimate action she would allow me to express since if I went further she would probably kick me in the balls.

I look ahead and see that there was a crowd forming and Xander was standing on a chair talking to the pack. I pick Ayla up and walked to the crowd.

"We can't stay here. All of our resources have either been damaged or they're in ashes now. So, as a result. We need to go into hiding to prepare for war because at this rate, we are already dead."

Someone in the crowd shouted, "The Blood Moon Pack never backs down. We should stay in fight!"

I shook my head, wrong move. Xander rolls his eyes, "Blood Moon pack is also SMART! This is a tactical move. Kendrick won't be expecting us to leave, he would expect us to stay and fight because that it was we are known for. So we are going to do the exact opposite. If you have a problem with that, you can leave." Everyone is silent. No one spoke up.

Xander nodded, "Good, now go and rummage through the ashes if you can find anything. Pack light and only what is needed, we will be camping in the woods for a while. We leave in an hour!"

Xander stepped down from the chair and went to Izzy and held her tight as well as their two children.