Chapter 18

“······What is this?”

Calix’s face frowned as he accepted the letter. Tess responded with a trembling heart.

“Please look at the sender.”

“······?”

Calix turned the envelope upside down, crumpling the middle of his forehead. As soon as he checked the letters written there, a spark rose from his eyes.

[ A. W. ]

He roughly tore open the envelope, threw away the ripped and crinkled paper casually, and unfolded the letter to check the contents.

[Canelo Port City, Jura Peninsula.]

A single one line.

That was all.

But it was sufficient for him. It was enough of a clue to find her.

Calix staggered up. Stopping the approaching deputy commander who tried to support him as he hurried to the bathroom.

The destination has been set.

He has to depart as soon as possible.

Calix looked at his reflection in the mirror and realized the fact that it’s been a few years since he last smiled.

“Laure······.”

Contrary to what he remembers, it was somehow a twisted smile. With the hope that he could finally find her, due to joy, a rare smile emerged on his face, but····· The appearance of himself in the mirror was distorted.

But it doesn’t matter.

“Laure, wait for me. I, I will come to see you······.”

She will still love him even if he becomes like this.

No matter how terrible looking he’s become, no matter how many years have passed, she’ll still definitely love him.

Calix laughed with joy. He’s not too sure if he had put too much force on the hand that was holding the mirror, but a piece of the glass broke through his fingertips and bleed.

However, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t even hurt. The thought of the upcoming moment of reunion was so sweet that Calix kept smiling.

“Ah, Laure.”

Her figure was reflected in the mirror.

“How much I love you.”

I can finally show it to you properly.

Calix smiled brightly. Then he grabbed his chest.

As though if she tells him to give up his own heart, he would do it.

*      *      *

A drop of tear flowed down Calix’s cheek.

“Why, did you abandon me?”

“······.”

“Because you think I have an affair? Did you think I’m going to betray you? That, that·····.”

“······.”

“Does that make sense? How can you·····!”

“Calix, I·····.”

“How can you not trust me?! How!”

Calix cried out, screaming. There was a storm brewing in his cold blue eyes. With an unfathomable depth, a sea filled with all sorts of emotions could be seen in there.

I felt like I was sinking into that cold sea—the feeling of drowning and dying over and over again. I felt so choked up, I couldn’ say anything. I have to tell him anything, whatever excuses, but my voice couldn’t come out.

“Laure. Answer me.”

“······.”

“Please explain······. Help me try to understand.”

“I, I·······.”

The voice I finally conjured out of my mouth was a little shabby. Stained with fear, I didn’t even have the strength to listen to myself.

What’s the use of talking about a twisted relationship when we’ve already come to this point?

The only thing I could say to him was this.

“I’m sorry······.”

“······.”

“I’m sorry, Calix······.”

I recalled the time when I tried to save his parents and failed.

It was when I was fifteen, and he was seventeen.

I was a little confident then. I didn’t have nightmares, and my relationship with Calix seemed to have developed to more than a childhood friend, so I thought maybe I could change the original story.

But it was just my arrogance.

Destiny came cruelly as if laughing at me. The accident could not be prevented. ‘The incident’ took place, even though the Grand Duke couple delayed their inspection of the duchy by one day.

The only difference is that I was there.

The wall that was protecting us was destroyed, and an evil spirit invaded. And the men stationed in the northern mountains were starving that they were consumed by madness.

It was too late when the trumpet sounded to signal an invasion. The wall collapsed, and a pile of fallen stones hit the Grand Duke and his wife.

We found them in a pool of blood within the hazy dust. Originally, it was a scene I shouldn’t have witnessed.

But fate showed me that event as if to tell me ‘this is reality.’

– Ca, lix, run······.

– Father, Mother······!

The death of his parents was etched into the boy’s blue eyes. He removed the rubble of stones with his bloody hands, hugged them, and sobbed.

The evil spirits repeatedly rushed in, trying to hurt him.

The knights grabbed him and begged desperately. You have to flee now. Your grace, you at least have to survive. Please, please!

The knight forcefully dragged the still half-hearted Calix by the hand.

Not being able to stand the sight of a demon devouring the bodies of the Grand Duke and his wife, I closed my eyes.

I’m not sure when I passed out. But when I woke up again, I was already in a cold room inside the fortress.

Reinforcements from the Capital came after some time, and soon, the situation was over.

However, many knights and······ The Grand Duke couple lost their lives.

– Why······.

Calix was sitting next to my bed.

– Why, to me······.

He muttered, losing his breath. He looked so pained. I felt my heart breaking as I watched him.

As a result, I forgot I had to keep my distance from him. It was done by the heart, not by the head, to reach out to him and hug him.

– Calix.

– ······.

– Calix, I’m sorry······. I’m sorry I couldn’t help you·····. I’m sorry I couldn’t save them······. I’m very, very sorry, ······.

I remember myself trembling as I was holding him in my arms.

I remember hugging him with more and more strength from my tired body.

– Then, if you do······ Please always stay by my side, Laure. Don’t abandon me, don’t leave me. Always.

His uneven voice whispered.

Looking back, I think it was from then on that everything started to go wrong.

The moment I reached out to him, made a promise I couldn’t keep and embraced him with so much sympathy. I turned a blind eye to all the misfortunes that the future will bring.

If I know the future, if I’d just think about the nightmares that recur almost every night, I shouldn’t have done so.

I should have turned away even if I felt sorry for him. Pretend I didn’t know him and keep my distance from him. I’d rather he’d hate me.

Or maybe, the truth is I wanted to be loved by him.

It seems that I have had such a childish and flimsy dream like the heroine in the novel, a dream of receiving complete and eternal love.

I’m not even the female protagonist, but the villain. How could I dare to dream?

I feared that I would not be able to escape my fate, fearing every passing moment.

And the same was true even now. I was still afraid and terrified of fate as I face Calix.

“Calix. I’m sorry.”

That time, my greed for him got the best out of me, and even if I know I shouldn’t, I reached out my hand to him.

But in the end, I couldn’t brave myself to become wholly greedy and still chose to run away.

I’m such a coward······.

That’s why

“I’m sorry.”

Tears filled my eyes.

After seven years of accumulation, the raised walls collapsed, and tears poured down from my eyes like a stream.

I gasped for breath. My heart ached so much that I wanted to die. It’s so unfair that this, this is reality, I loathe the fate that was given to me to the point that it’s driving me insane······.

I wished that all of this was only a dream.

“······Y-You’re sorry?”

“······.”

“All right, let’s just say you’re sorry but······. Laure······. Don’t cry.”

“Ca, lix······.”

“Don’t cry. Seeing you cry breaks my heart.”

His blue eyes were so empty that my breath hitched. And in there, the only emotions that could be seen were the reflection of hazy madness, longing, and anger.

In the last seven years, it must have been the only emotions he has felt countless times.

Emotions that I knew he bottled up inside without sharing with anyone.

And now, they were about to overflow.

“Laure······. What’s wrong with your hair? I think your original hair color is much better.”

“This······.”

He hugged my waist and pulled me close, sweeping down my dyed brown hair. Then he stroked my cheek and smiled faintly.

My heart sank at the smile for a moment, and then, I suddenly felt our lips overlapped.

He hugged me so tight that I was immobilized, and began to deepen the kiss.

A kiss that, even though it is devouring, rough, and persistent, was still soft and gentle at the same time.

The long kiss continued unceasingly.

After what seemed like an eon, Calix finally parted our lips then looked at me satisfactorily as he catches his breath. Then he buried his face at the crevice of my neck as if trying to inhale my scent.

“Laure, my most beloved person.”

“······.”

“Let’s go back. It’s time we end this long trip.”

“Calix······.”

“When we get back, let’s first return your hair color to original, and then······ you’ll have to fit a new wedding dress. The previous one is already old-fashioned. You would like your tiara to be platinum gold, right? For your hairstyle·······.”

“Calix, stop.”

I sighed and pushed him away. Calix surprisingly fell off effortlessly, then he looked at me with a somewhat shocked expression on his face.

“Laure, why-”

“Calix, it has been seven years.”

“······.”

“How could I just go back to that time seven years ago? Can I just casually go back to the capital, meet my family, and then marry you? Besides, I am now······.”

I stopped speaking for a moment and looked back at Letizia. The child was looking alternately at Calix and me, blinking her round eyes.

“······I now have a daughter. I have a husband······.”

Calix was silent without any response.

His quiet stillness made me even more afraid.

The moment I glanced up at him stealthily, Calix smiled a twisted smile.

“Yes, I know. Laure.”

“······You know?”

His answer was so unexpected that I hesitated slightly.

Calix strode towards me, grabbed me by the shoulder, and softly looked down on me.

“I can take responsibility for your daughter. However, that wretched husband of yours······. Yeah, I’d better kill him.”

“What, what did you just say?”

“Did that bastard touch you?”

“What are you talking about!”

“Then we better cut that hand off the first······.”

“Calix!”

I pushed him away roughly. But this time. This time it was different. Calix did not back down. He grabbed my wrist, pulled it, and suddenly put something on it.

Click. The heavy ringing sound was horrifying.

I forgot how to breathe and looked down at my wrist. At first glance, handcuffs similar to bracelets were fastened.

But the jewels embedded in the silver rim were indeed mana stones. Upon closer look, there were undoubtedly magic formulas engraved in it.

My eyelids trembled.

“What, what is······.”

“It’s a gift. Laure. Do you like it?”

He hugged my waist, put his lips in my ears, and whispered. Goosebumps ensued.