chapter 21

The After-PartyPratham had said I could wear anything for the after-party but had suggested wearing western. Having worn red twice, I went with the black free-fall dress. Shiva too had changed into a sexy purple dress. We packed, I thanked the make-up girls for their expert service and walked out. As we stepped into the auditorium for the after-party, we were exposed to loud music, and a huge wave of students enveloped us. People were drinking, laughing, chatting, and dancing like crazies. We made our way to the counter and ordered mocktails. Sarv appeared at our side, “I don’t think anyone can beat you in the last round,” he shouted over the music. I beamed. “When will the results be announced?” Shiva asked, shouting too.“During this party,” Sarv informed.“Care to dance?” Shiva asked Sarv. He was dumbfounded. I nudged him, and Shiva dragged him to the floor. They started jumping on the tunes and soon disappeared into the crowd. High-stages were formed for people to hop on and dance. Some boys and girls were dancing there, but most were on the floor. I looked around, my eyes trying to find just one.After scanning the area for almost ten minutes, my eyes fell on the new occupants of the high-stage. It was Pratham. His shirt was open, and a couple of hands were massaging his bare-chest. My heart thumped at sight. One of the girls twirling around him was Tam. I wanted to avert my eyes but couldn’t, the next moment Riya licked his chest. Both were in bikini-like dresses, and Pratham was hugging and kissing them. I felt disgusted, but somehow, I could not unglue my eyes from the sight. Another girl, whom I didn’t recognize, slipped in between Pratham’s legs and grabbed his belt, pulling his jeans down. He laughed, pulled her up, and kissed her on her lips. Tears escaped my eyes. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Was this my Pratham? The man who loved me so dearly. And the one I had fallen in love with!  The party continued, but I didn’t participate in it. I stood alone in a corner and drank whatever was being offered. I knew my coke was not the usual coke. It was something harder. But still, I drank it. I was that scandalized. Pratham’s actions disgusted me. Though I was standing alone, nobody tried to approach me. Boys were eyeing me, but they were also eyeing Pratham – who was still dancing lecherously on the high-stage. I guessed them staying away was somehow his doing.I was drinking non-stop when I felt someone was staring at me from the bar. It was not the usual stare, but the one that rose hair on my neck. I sneaked a look, and there he was, again! What the hell… I cursed. I dared and turned once more… Nothing! No one was staring at me from the counter. Was I hallucinating? I walked – almost staggered – to the counter, and the bartender slipped me an envelope along with a drink. I opened it with shivering hands. I gawked at it with amazement. I looked up at the bartender, but he was now busy serving a rather rowdy group. I even tried to gain his attention, but given the number of people he was catering to, I knew it was useless.Confused and haphazard, I stumbled across the dance floor to look for my friends. A slow song was playing now, and after a long search, I saw Ankit dancing with his girlfriend, Sahana. Next to him, Shiva and Sarv were locked in a passionate hug. Squeezing the envelope tight in my fist, I decided not to bother them. Their relationships were more important.I grabbed two bottles of whatever was being served at the counter and quietly exited the party. I didn’t bother informing Pratham because he was busy – Tam had just licked something off his chest, and he had wrapped his hands around her.Disgusted, I stepped out, hailed a cab, and went home.  I gulped both the bottles in the cab itself, but my thirst was not quenched. I was absolutely parched. I knew Sarv had started drinking last year, so I tossed and turned his room until I found his stash. He didn’t want Shiva to know.I opened his first bottle and took a sip. It was awful. It burnt my throat to the worst extent. I tried to read what it was but couldn’t. My vision was exceptionally blurred. I took another sip, it burnt again, but it was a bit better now. Another sip was better still. Like this, I was on my tenth sip when the doorbell rang, followed by loud, frantic knocks.I dragged myself across the living room and opened the door. It was Pratham, and he was out of his mind –blurry, but out of his mind.He stepped in and yelled, “What the hell is wrong with you? You came back alone? Didn’t tell anyone. I have been out of my damn mind. And what are you doing in the dark?” He flipped on a switch, and the room was flooded with light. “Oohhh. Maybe that’s why I wasn’t able to read,” I mumbled as I fell next to the sofa. I took another sip.“What the hell are you doing?” he asked, shocked. He looked around and saw a few empty bottles lying on the floor. He snatched the bottle from my hand and sat next to me.“You won,” he started.“Last one. Second in two. Nothing in one,” I slurred.“How?” he started, but I just picked another bottle from Sarv’s stash and drank from it.“Why are you doing this?” he demanded, taking a sip himself from the bottle in his hands.“My life, my wish. My life is screwed up anyway, I am just tightening those screws.” I laughed crazily, taking another sip.“On your first time, I don’t think you should drink neat-whiskey. Even I don’t drink it,” he spoke, stretching his hand to take back the bottle.“Ooh… Maybe that’s why it burns,” I laughed loudly.“What are you doing, Ishana?” He was worried now.“I am all alone. My father is dead. My brother disappeared. Now my best friends are getting together. Soon I will be the third wheel in their relationship who adds nothing but misery to their lives. I am paving a path for myself. Didn’t you say, I need to start drinking to be a model. Tomorrow I will find a drug-dealer and try those too.” I babbled and took another sip. Somehow I couldn’t feel any difference in bottles now. All tasted the same.“Hey, do you have a cigarette on you?” I spoke as I frisked his shirt, but he grabbed my hands.“You have me,” he spoke, looking deep into my eyes.“NO!” I screeched. “I don’t have you. You are not mine. If you were, that bitch, that whore, Tam couldn’t have licked you,” I spoke, gazing down at his shirt. His white shirt had glitter and lipstick marks all over.“What do you want from me?” he was devastated.“It should have been me. Only I should have the right to kiss you and do all those things to you,” I muttered, taking another long sip.“You said you don’t love me!” he spoke with pained expressions, and I laughed.“Pratham Khatri, you always read my silence. How come you read it wrong this time?” I asked, locking his eyes.“What do you want?” he demanded agitated. And at this, I pulled his collars and pressed my lips against his. I sat on his lap and kissed him fully. However, he pushed me. “You are drunk,” he whispered.“And you taste like other girls,” I spat on the floor and walked to my room.“You don’t get it, do you? I did it only to make you jealous,” he shouted from a distance.“You too don’t get it, do you? You don’t need to make me jealous. I am already in love with you,” I spoke the last few words behind the closed door of my room. He barged in and asked me to repeat.But I didn’t. I just lay there, eyes wide opened. He lay next to me, but I pushed him out of my bed. He gave me his usual searching look and went out. All this time, tears had not escaped my eyes, but his departure made me cry. I cried like there was no end. I howled and screamed as loudly as I could.I felt alone, I felt betrayed. I felt devastated. I was still sobbing in my pillow when I felt a hand on my head. Startled, I looked up; it was Pratham. He was bare-chested, and his hair was wet. “Now I don’t have any other girl on me,” he whispered, sliding in my bed. We didn’t speak anything for long. He lay next to me, and I lay with my back to him. Our bodies were touching. “Ishana, I would never leave you alone. Even if I die tomorrow, I will stay with you forever,” he whispered in my hair.The word ‘die’ made me cry again. He made me turn and forced me to look up. His eyes had one question, ‘What?’“Why would you die on me?” I cried in his chest.“Oh, you become crazier every day. I don’t think my heart has space to love you any more than I already do,” he was laughing now. I hugged him and pressed my face in his neck.“You were looking gorgeous. I think at least a hundred guys fell in love with you,” he muttered, caressing my hair.“I don’t need a hundred,” I hiccupped between sobs.“No, you only need me,” he murmured. “Oh God, what all I would have done to you if you were sober,” he added, scanning my face. I raised my head and kissed him again. This time, he didn’t push me but kissed me back. I felt his lips part and suck on mine. His kiss took my hormones to the next level. Involuntarily, I felt my hands move on his chest. I was about to dig my nails in him when he grabbed my hands and pushed them. Breaking the kiss, he spoke, “If you do this when you are not a hundred pegs down, I will let you. And even do so much more. But tonight, no,” his eyes bore in mine.“But we can kiss,” I added sarcastically, and he nodded with a naughty smile. “Then kiss me all over.” Sitting, I pulled down the neck of my dress. He stared at my bare shoulder and planted a few kisses there. A loud, longing moan escaped my mouth.“I will kiss you all over, and everywhere, when you are you,” he whispered. “Please don’t make it harder than it already is,” he begged, pulling up the neck of my dress.“What do you want then?” I was feeling hungry all over.“I want your lips,” he spoke on my lips.“So… just kisses?” I asked, feeling weird. “Oh, I am going to kiss you all night long.” And with this, he pushed me down with his lips on mine again, and we spent the entire night kissing, hugging and kissing more and more.Â