chapter 9

The Most UnexpectedPhoto shoots continued, and only Tam’s had taken the whole night. Rest all were usually wrapped up in two-three hours. Pratham scheduled one for each night, and we got free around ten.My days were now more hectic than usual, and I had literally no time to spare. But not sure why another thing got added to my schedule. Santosh made it a point to message me every day on Shiva’s phone, and expected a reply. He almost called me every alternate day too. We didn’t think it as harmful, so Shiva and I indulged in his usual boring talks. I met him every weekend on double-date, and I didn’t know when, but soon he transformed into a confidant. Being older than me, he always had a matured opinion. He understood things from a different perspective. He was sympathetic to my personal situation and promised to help me find Rakshit. He used to travel to many cities for business and had started sharing Rakshit’s photo in newspapers for ads. After every trip he would come back with a newspaper cutting where my brother’s face would be displayed as ‘Missing,’ and I would hope somebody would call. But nobody did.Months passed, and I developed a different bond with Santosh. It was a bond of dependency. He knew my entire past, except for the revenge on Dev and Kunal. Hence, he knew how brutally life had treated me. He pitied me and always indulged in my weaknesses. He fueled them, and I dissolved.Before the end of the second semester, Santosh had proposed to me. I had accepted only on one condition – if he marries me in the future. “You are my future, and I will marry you soon.” Santosh already knew how I hated any physical contact, so he didn’t even try to form one. I was happy with that. I knew he was not handsome, and initially, I did think he was mean and despicable, but he didn’t try to force himself on me, and that was just good enough.   The second semester passed in a haze. Studies, photo shoots, and more studies kept me very busy. My job in photo shoots was practically nothing, but still, I had to be present! As Pratham himself used to take the photos, everything usually went as planned.My actual job started once these shoots were over – managing, categorizing, and cataloging the portfolios. I had to ensure all were sorted and were always ready whenever Pratham or some ad agency asked for any. Pratham didn’t line up any work during exams, and I was able to focus on them fully. Ankit was surprised because it was the first time when Pratham was paying heed to exams. We all wondered why he made the exception this semester, but I was grateful, nonetheless.We wrote our exams in May 2003, and by God’s grace, I stood eighth. Even a good rank called for a meeting in the dean’s office, but this time he only congratulated me and confirmed that he was not canceling my scholarship. He didn’t miss out on his warning though, ‘Stay in top-10, else you know what would happen.’ I hated him now!Our session ended in end-May, and the new semester was to commence in July. I wanted to go back to my hometown and continue looking for Rakshit. So far, I had saved more than eighteen-thousand rupees, and I was confident I would find him this time. But Pratham refused outright.“You must be out of your mind if you think you can go back home,” he was repressing his tone. I knew he wanted to yell, but didn’t, thankfully.“I have some personal business,” I started, but he cut me.“You can do whatever personal business you have next year. We have so much to do. All the portfolios are not going to work on their own.” He spoke in a much calmer tone, but I stepped back anyway. “Fashion show is not until the end of the third semester.” I retorted, but I knew I was barely audible.“Yes, but I have received a contract to supply a model for a big jewelry brand. We need to focus on that in this break. Ishana, you cannot GO!” his tone, his words, and his clenched fists said it was final. I was not going.  “He is a pig,” Shiva remarked when I broke the news to her. Sarv was already packed and ready to leave. “How could I go without you?” she asked desperately.“You should go. You have a family, I don’t. Nobody is waiting for me there… but uncle and aunty are waiting for you,” I spoke heavily, and she slapped my shoulder. “They wait for you too. Don’t forget, they have informally adopted you.” She scolded, and I smiled at her sentiment. My friends indeed were my family.  Shiva was worried about leaving me alone, and she was right in her suspicion because the very next day, I found Santosh at my doorstep. I was way too nervous letting him in, but given that he had not touched me in any way before, I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.We chatted for some time and had our lunch. And it was after four hours of spending together when he broke the news. “My parents want to fix my marriage,” he announced, and I gaped at him. The news of him getting married didn’t affect me at all. Yes, he had proposed to me a few months ago, and I had accepted. But I was not bothered. The only thing that pinched me was – unlike others, he was decent enough not to use me for my body. He was not handsome or anything like my ‘dream-husband’, but still…“Say something,” he insisted.“I don’t know what to say,” I started. I literally didn’t know what to say! He was glaring at me now, so I said the first thing that came to my mind, “Family is the most important aspect of one’s life. I know no good family will accept me as I am… so, you should get married to the girl they choose.” He definitely was not expecting this. Jumping on his heels, he accused me, “So, you have just been doing timepass with me. You know I love you so much. You are the one girl I want to spend my life with. And you, you were just using me as a distraction?”“How dare you?” I stood up too.“Say that you love me too, you have never said you love me. I never forced you to, but today I need to know.” He ordered, and I don’t know if it was in the heat of the moment or what, but I said, “Of course, I love you too! You should have known it by now.” I knew I didn’t love him, now or ever. He smiled and relaxed. “Then, I am not going to lose you. I have a plan.” I stared at him, confused.“My parents will not accept you as you are. So, we need to give them motivation,” he started.“Because I am an Orphan?” I asked, dejected. He nodded. “They want me to marry because they want a grandchild. All-day long, they blackmail me by talking about their old age. I am already twenty-eight, so I feel it is the right time to have a child too…” he paused, and I looked at him horrified. Was this all his plan to sleep with me?“You need to get pregnant.” He declared finally, and I resisted an urge to slap, kick, and throw him out of my house. “I know you have intimacy issues, so get ready. We are getting married.” He dropped the bomb on me, and my jaw stretched to the farthest extent.“I love you, Ishana. More than anything. We will get married this Sunday, then we will… you know… and once you are pregnant, we will tell my parents. Then it is a done deal. It is very Bollywood drama, but on parents like mine, it works like a charm.” He finished, and I was too stunned to speak. “I would never touch you before I make you mine properly,” and at this, he bent on his knees and pulled out a ring. He took my hand and placed it on the ring finger.“Please be my wife,” he asked. I nodded. I had tears in my eyes, he mistook them as of happiness, but they were of something else. They were of misery. They were of desperation. And they were of the fear of a future that I never foresaw for myself.He was way too excited at my acceptance, and somehow, his excitement bothered me. Something in his smile said things were not right, his intentions were not right, but I was way too distressed to act or react.After his abrupt proposal, he left to make preparations for the big day. However, before leaving, he asked two things: Firstly, to ready myself for our honeymoon. And secondly, not to disclose this plan to anybody. Not even to Shiva because if his family found out, they would stop at nothing.   Present Day in Ishana’s House“He didn’t, I mean you didn’t…” Ravi exclaimed. “You didn’t get married to that asshole, did you?” he scratched his head in frustration.“Why do you call him an asshole?” Ishana asked simply.“I can tell, just by your description. He was one!” Ravi continued in the same exasperated tone.“Why so?” Ishana asked, stone-faced. “He was the only one in the whole world who was listening to me. He was the only one who was distributing Rakshit’s photos everywhere. And he was the one who had spent hours and hours with me and had not even touched my fingers. Was it so wrong that I was going to marry him?”Ravi was stunned. “He supported you with Rakshit, and it was a kind gesture. But…”“But what Ravi?” she asked with a slight raise of tone.“You didn’t love him… you clearly felt something for Pratham, but not for this uncle,” Ravi spoke enraged.“And when did my feelings ever land me in the right place?” Ishana’s words had a tone of finality. Suddenly Ravi knew he had crossed a line he didn’t intend on crossing. He sat back quietly and waited for Ishana to continue.But she didn’t. She was staring at him as if scolding him for the interruption.“Sorry,” Ravi spoke timidly. “Please continue,” he requested. She screwed her eyes in a warning and continued.  Back to College – Year 2003: Semester BreakI was too dumbfounded to do anything that day. Usually, girls are the happiest before their marriage, but I was just speechless. Around 5 pm Ankit came and informed that Pratham had summoned us. At college, Pratham was in the foulest mood. He scolded everybody rather harshly, and within the first ten minutes of our arrival, both Ankit and I were sulking in a corner and working.I wanted to work to take my mind off the wedding, and Pratham’s temper helped the cause. The whole team was dispersed now, and only Pratham, Ankit and I were left in the photography department. “Mind telling us what the hell happened?” Ankit demanded angrily. Giving him a sharp look, Pratham turned to me. “You sort out the clothes there. Nobody does anything anymore.”“Chill bro. We will get things done. Don’t go shouting at her again,” Ankit interjected. Pratham closed his eyes and exhaled fumes.I moved to the corner where multi-colored clothes were dumped. I looked closely and realized that most of them were lingerie. I picked one, it was a floral pattern two-piece set. I was wondering who would wear something like this for a shoot when suddenly Santosh’s words echoed in my mind ‘Plan for our honeymoon. You need to get pregnant.’ I must be staring at the lingerie in my hands because Pratham’s voice startled me, “You can have it if you let me shoot you in it.” Fury rose in me. I placed it down and started to walk away when he grabbed my wrist.“Don’t walk away,” his grip was a little tight. During all the months working for him, he had never displayed his anger like this. This rage was associated with a broken heart. “New ring?” he asked with raised eyebrows. “Nothing that concerns you,” I replied, trying to push his hand away.“Ishana, just think before you act,” he tightened his grip, and I stared at him. “You don’t want to make rash decisions. Just because you believe that you are all alone in this whole world doesn’t mean you don’t have people. Your friends, your colleagues care for you. And they would protect you at all costs. Please don’t do anything stupid.” He almost begged in the last statement. The way he spoke, it was clear he meant something else. Deep down, I felt he knew about my impending doom, i.e., my wedding, but how could he! The desperation in his voice forced me to rethink.“Promise me you won’t do anything reckless. And at least would discuss with someone. You can talk to me, Ankit, but if you don’t trust us enough, at least talk to your friend Shiva. She is a good judge of character. Promise me,” he requested earnestly, his grip on my hand getting tighter.“I promise.” I nodded and sighed.Finally, he let go off my hand, and I went back to my work. It took me a moment to compose myself. His words echoed in my mind continuously.“Would this work?” I asked, pulling a red low-cut dress. “It is a beach setting, what you picked first would be perfect.” He murmured and left abruptly.The declared emergency at work was nothing but sudden foul-mood of our boss. Once he left, we realized there was nothing much to be done. But given Pratham’s temper was just as unpredictable as weather forecast, both Ankit and I stalled around and waited – just in case Pratham came back.Present Day in Ishana’s HouseThe phone rang, and Ishana stopped abruptly to answer it.“It is Megha from downstairs, are you ready for lunch?” Ishana asked Ravi, who was still lost in her story. “What?” he asked aghast. “Lunch?” she repeated simply.“Can we do it a little later?” he requested. He was dying to know if she married that pig.“We will be down there in around an hour, will that work?” she talked into the phone and hung up after a few seconds. Both Ishana and Ravi had lost track of time, and couldn’t believe it was already 2 pm.She sat back and stared at Ravi.“Should I continue?” she asked with a smile, already knowing his answer. He nodded encouragingly.  Back to College – Year 2003: Semester BreakEarlier I had planned to go to a mall and buy some clothes for my wedding tomorrow, but Pratham’s words and angry attitude didn’t let me. The next morning, as the first rays hit my window, I got ready. I prayed to my father for his blessings – after all, today was a big day. And wished for a happy married life. I tried to smile, but not even the hundredth attempt helped. I had never been so disturbed in my life. Not even when I had read ‘The Slut Chronicles’ or when Kunal had taken me to that sex den. And to top it all, Pratham’s words were stirring something deep in my soul. Not sure what drove me to it, maybe the promise to him, or the vulnerable look in his eyes, but despite Santosh’s insistence to keep it a secret, I called Shiva. And as expected, she was barking mad!“I leave for a few days, and you bloody hell get married. You must be kidding me. There is a very thin line between desperate and stupid. And I think you have blurred those two now and have become desperately stupid.” Her temper was beyond comprehension, and she was screaming like anything.“I am yet to marry him. He asked me not to tell you, but…” I paused.“But what?” Shiva snarled.“Pratham made me promise,” I whispered.“Pratham knows?” she gasped. The dramatic turn in her tone made me smile.“Of course, he doesn’t. He just suspects something. He asked me to share with you and not do anything rash.”“It doesn’t matter, Ishana. What matters is that you are not marrying that uncle. This is wrong, utterly stupid, and not to mentioned gross and ew. Promise me you won’t commit this blunder, please…” she practically begged. I didn’t reply. I knew this marriage would be catastrophic…“You deserve a nice young guy Ishana, not a bastard like Santosh. I know you are in a weird relationship with him, but believe me, he is not the right person for you,” she explained. However, I didn’t need any explanation. I already knew what she meant. I didn’t love Santosh, and when – months ago – I had accepted his proposal, I had not expected such an abrupt secret wedding. It did feel wrong.“You will skip home today and hide somewhere. I don’t care what you do Ishana, but you will not talk or meet with him until I am there. He needs some straightening, and I will give him that,” Shiva hissed, and I just laughed.“Fine.” I agreed, and suddenly I felt as if a weight was being lifted off my chest.