Fox 32

All was quiet.

All was dark.

There was nothing.

Nothing I could feel and nothing that I could sense. It was like nothing existed between the darkness and I. Absolute nothing. It was the most chilling sensation I have ever felt. My limbs felt as if they were stuck in the muck that held me in place and the more I struggled to move the more I was swallowed.

Flashbacks of what happened before I was engulfed in the darkness plagued my memory. The dark magic that flowed through my veins began to control me. I was out of control. There was nothing that I could do to stop it. All I could do was sit back and watch what happened. Like an autopilot to my own lives and decisions.

My mood sunk as far as I did into the darkness. Even if it was an evil creature it was still a life form of some sort and I took it. The memory alone sent a shock wave through me but I wasn't sure if it was bad or not. The thought of crushing it's neck in my powerful jaws and then forcing Levi to commit the unforgivable act as well made me...

Wait...

Levi.

And Alistair.

What happened after I passed out? What happened once dad separated Levi and I? Did they stop the second creature? How did they explain what happened to Alistair's parents? Why was I still stuck in this darkness? What was going on?

"...he wake up?" A soft, worried voice finally pierced the void of sound.

My first instinct was to jump up and alert someone that I was awake. That I could hear them but my body wouldn't do what I wanted to. The voice faded but not all the way. I could still hear faint voices carrying on a conversation while I was stuck in the void.

"Levi's parents are worried..." Another voice broke through the silence.

My frustration grew the more I could hear. It shouldn't have been as hard as it was to escape this dark prison that I created for myself. Why couldn't I just wake up? It was driving me insane. I needed to make sure everyone was okay. I needed to make sure Alistair and Levi didn't hate me. Although they probably did.

I probably cost Alistair's parents their lives and I almost got Levi killed and it was completely my fault for allowing that dark magic to course through me and control my thoughts. I was weak and I couldn't even control my own magic. There was no reason for them to forgive me. I wouldn't even forgive me.

"When will he wake up?" That voice I recognized to be my mother's.

"When he's ready." Cano replied, always the calm one.

Well that wasn't exactly true.

I'm ready now and I can't seem to even alert them to the fact that I was partially awake. The darkness around me began to once again swallow me whole, surrounding me on all sides and muffling the little bit of sound I could hear.

What was going on with me?

'Don't you want all the power?' A disembodied voice called.

What power?

'I can provide you with all the power and control you could ever handle.'

I don't want any power.

'You'll want it eventually. I'll be here when you decide otherwise.' The voice sneered.

Just as I was going to respond it seemed as if my consciousness lightened and I began to awaken. The world around me came into focus but my body still felt a little heavy. My limbs still couldn't be moved to alert those around me that I was truly awake.

My eyes darted to the side as far as they could without me turning my head in order to survey my surroundings. Everyone wasn't in my field of vision but I could see that I was laying in a bed, a comforter pulled high as Alistair sat besides the bed in what appeared to be a very uncomfortable chair.

Looking to my left I could see Levi lying in a bed that looked similar to mine with an IV needle in his arm but he was wide awake and contributing to the conversation. I couldn't see my parents but I heard them on the other side of me.

'Can you guys hear me?' I questioned hoping that are link was still there.

"Tae?" Alistair shouted as his head snapped up, our eyes locking.

"My baby's awake?" Merula ran around the side of the bed so that she was standing next to Alistair.

'I'm still a little weak to chat.' I admitted over then the link.

"He can't talk. He's a little weak still." Alistair relayed to both my parents as Cano walked around to join his wife so that I could see them both.

"How are you doing Tae?" Levi called out causing Alistair to move to the side so that I could get a good look at him as he did me. There were a few bruises that I could make out from here and immediately my heart sunk.

'I've felt better.' I tried to make light of the situation but it didn't seem to translate on either of my friend's faces and most definitely not my parents. Mom glared at me annoyed that I didn't seem to realize how grave the situation honestly was.

"Well don't worry baby we'll make sure you feel better soon." Mom replied as she reached over to caress my face. My whole body flinched back into the bed as static current seemed to flow from her into me. It felt almost like the energy that surged through me before I merged with Levi.

She jerked back her hand, looking between me and it with confusion and slight alarm. She turned to Cano and opened her mouth to say something when he stopped her, pulling her away from the bed as he spoke. The look in her eyes spoke volumes, unfortunately Cano had interrupted her. That sparked of magic meant something to her.

"I think we should leave the boys alone. After something like that they need time to re-cooperate." He suggested and reluctantly Merula agreed. Both of them walked out the door and for the briefest of seconds I was able to see outside the room that I was currently stuck in. It didn't look like any hospital I had seen before. It almost seemed as if we were back in Rhyeal.

'Where are we?' I questioned.

"We're back in Rhyeal. After...um...the attack Merula transported us back here. Asher got to my parents and brought them back here. I had to explain everything to them and explain where I've actually been this entire time." Levi explained, a pained expression crossed his face.

"And no we still haven't found my parents. We're not exactly sure where they may be. We're still waiting for the mimic to wake up. It was beaten up pretty badly." Alistair explained and immediately my whole demeanor stilled. Had I not gone overboard they may have found Alistair's parents by now.

Why couldn't I just control myself?

"It's not your fault though Tae." Alistair was quick to address me. "We think that it was the new power imbalance that threw you off. You weren't in control of yourself Tae. I don't blame you."

But I blame me.

"We'll find them in no time and soon everything will be back to normal." Levi tried to console me but it wasn't working. I wasn't dumb. I knew that it was my fault and it wouldn't be right until we found Alistair's parents.

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"Has he just been sitting there like that this entire time?"

Jason's voice was like a distant echo as I stared out the only window in this room. It overlooked the forest where I had initially met Merula and my thoughts went back to her and everything since then. For the entire day I had been trying to find a way to locate Alistair's parents but everything I had thought of was so elementary that it had already been thought of and ruled out as a possibility.

Sitting beside the window on the most uncomfortable chair I had ever been in looking out on the campus that had once seemed like just a fantastical dream. My mind reeled with all the possibilities. There was no one on campus besides a few teachers. All the students were still home and I'm not sure if anyone else even knew we were here.

I hadn't seen Levi's parents yet but I knew that they were staying in one of the rooms here, probably ours. Alistair had been in and out of the room since I woke up, trying to get me to eat more or say more but I just couldn't. I had finally begun speaking about an hour ago but after only just a few words I found that I wasn't in the mood to talk.

"He won't eat or drink anything. He's only gotten up twice to use the bathroom." Alistair was trying to be quiet but he wasn't succeeding. My heightened sense of hearing allowed me to hear the entire conversation without even turning in their direction.

"What did Merula and Cano say?" Jason questioned, concerned.

"Nothing. They had to leave almost immediately after he woke up. They had to look into something important and they haven't seen him like this yet." He answered.

The sound of shuffling echoed in the generally quite room that we were in. Jason sat on one side of me and Alistair stood in front of me. Alistair gently took my hand in his as if I were  about to break. His thumb traced odd patterns on the back of my hand as Jason began to speak to me.

"Listen, we can't help you unless we know what it is that's bothering you. You've got to tell us what happened out there."

Help me? They needed to be helping Alistair's parents. They were out there, probably suffering because of me and my inability to control myself. I didn't even turn to look at either of them as they spoke.

'I can help you find them.'

"Tae. Speak to us. Let us know what happened. How did you merge with Levi? Why did you kill the mimic?" Alistair broke me out of my trance.

"I don't know." I muttered my own annoyance growing.

'You know why.'

"What do you men you don't know?" He snapped, clearly frustrated with me. "We need to know what happened Tae."

"I don't know. My instincts took over and it just happened." I shrugged.

With a loud huff he let my hand drop from his and got up. Jason looked between Alistair and I waiting for something to happen. Alistair began to pace in front of me muttering incomprehensible words.

"What's going on in here?" Asher questioned as he, Levi, and Tommy walked into the room. Levi's arm was wrapped up tightly, the white gauze a startling contrast to his tanned skin. Tommy's hair was pulled up in a messy bun on top his head, an unlit cigarette gracefully hanging from his lips.

Momentarilly I was taken back by the five of them. We were truly lucky to have each other but I felt the luckiest to have found them all. Before them and before magic I was alone. Everyone I had known, turned against me but now I had so many people that I could count on. Down side to that was that I let them all down.

"Tae and Alistair were just talking."

"It doesn't seem like it was a very good conversation." Tommy quipped in his usual sarcastic demeanor.

"It wasn't!" Alistair snapped, spinning around to look at them. His anger actually shocked me. "He won't tell me what happened to him."

"Well maybe he just doesn't feel like talking about it right now." Asher shrugged, trying to keep the situation under control.

"How can you not want to talk about it? You killed something!" Alistair shouted, throwing his hands up in the air as he spun around to look at me.

"I know what I've done!" I snapped, baring my teeth at him. My heightened instincts didn't like the threat that Alistair was currently posing. "Don't you think I know that I killed some creature? Even if it was evil, I killed it. And that's not even the worse part."

Alistair stood before me, a strong stance as if he was ready to take me on if needed. He thinks I didn't feel the spark of magic in the air. I knew he wasn't dumb, even if we were bonded he didn't trust me right now and that was like a knife to the heart. The look in his eyes screamed worry but the fierce face he was showing let me know he didn't want me to see that.

Asher stood beside me ready to jump in if necessary. Jason looked shocked and I honestly couldn't blame him. Levi stood there, my little injured fox, not knowing how to handle the division with Tommy right beside him, one arm wrapped around his waist, holding him in place.

"The worse part is that I forced Levi along for the ride. I took control of him as well and forced him to kill another living creature. That's something I'm going to have to live with forever. So forgive me if I don't want to have a candid conversation about it!" I growled out not understanding why he was pushing so hard.

"Tae, it wasn't your fault. You're weren't in control of you-"

"Exactly!" I shouted over him. "I wasn't in control then and I'm still not in control now. There are things going on inside me that you don't even know about. But you want to talk it out."

Something inside of me began to grow and it wasn't bright and cheery. It was something dark. It was something that was taking over. It felt like I was fighting a losing battle and I was in it alone. And that's what I needed right now.

To be alone.

I can help with that.

Good. I wanted to be out of here and in a place alone to figure out things.

With everyone still standing around me waiting for me to say something else I gave my silent consent to that dark thing inside me. I needed to be alone. I needed to be by myself and if it could do that then I would gratefully accept the help.

One minute I was with my bond mates and the next I was somewhere dark. Had it not been for my heightened senses I would have been worried. Looking around I noticed that I was deep underground somewhere. The walls were stone and in the distance I could make out a small light, urging me to come to it.

A few hesitant steps forward and I was headed towards the distant light, a light pounding tapping at the back of my mind. No doubt everyone was trying to get into contact with me. They could wait. This was something I needed.

I could sense it.

My feet carried me forward as my hand jutted out to run along the wall of the cave. A slight pulse echoed off the walls, almost as if they were alive. I knew the truth though. Magic ran through these walls like the life blood they were. Whatever this place was it was filled with magic.

As I walked on the light became brighter and closer. My heart was practically beating out of my chest as a doorway was now visible the closer I became. Without trepidation I walked through the open doorway, shielding my eyes as I was temporarily blinded by the bright light.

When my sight had finally adjusted to the lighting my heart dropped. Before me was home; my living room to be exact. The same cold, unnerving interior greeted me as I stood there. The lights were out but I was still able to make out that no one was there. Not unusual for my "family". But my sense of magic had grown exponentially and it was clear to me that this was an illusion created to throw me off.

'Feed the darkness.' An ominous voice whispered. Looking around I saw no one. There was nothing there.

"Hello?" I called out. It didn't seem like anyone was here. At least I didn't initially sense anyone.

'Feed the darkness to help your friends.'

How could that possibly help me help them? Not to mention that the last thing I wanted to do was to feed the thing that caused me to kill that mimic. But I was torn because I still wanted to help find Alistair's parents. It was my fault that they were lost and I had to do what I had to do to get them back.

Before I could open my mouth to say anything a black, mucky entity appeared before me, unformed. I took a few steps away from it as it shuddered to gain it's form.

Once it settled what stood before me was a gorgeous creature. Like the deepest, darkest galaxy filled of constantly moving stars and planets in the shape of a four tailed fox.  Two bright orbs likened unto stars themselves stared at me from across the room.

'Feed me and I shall help you find them.' The fox's voice echoed inside my mind, it's voice hauntingly beautiful.

"Who are you?"

'I am the power that allows you to do amazing things. I am the darkness that pushes you. I am your kitsune spirit.'

"Why can't you just help me find them right now?" I questioned. "You have four tails so you must be powerful. Isn't that how that works?"

'You are not ready for the power that I posses. Not yet. You must feed me and we can both grow together until you are ready.'

"What do I feed you?" I questioned cautiously, knowing that it wasn't going to be something easy.

'You feed the darkness with darkness of course. Dark acts are what strengthens us.' The voice laughed darkly in my mind.

"I don't understand why you're dark though. We don't know any dark magic nor have any of us ever done any."

'We were born of dark magic. Your parents were both poisoned by dark magic even as you grew in your mother's womb.'

That couldn't be. I didn't have an evil bone in my body.  I couldn't even stand up to my bullies back home til I met Alistair and Levi. Up until recently I was even hard pressed to kill a bug but now here I was killing demonic creatures.

Maybe I am a little dark.

'Feed the darkness.'

"How...How do I feed the darkness?" I questioned hesitantly.

'Dark acts of course.' It replied.

"Dark acts?" I questioned, unsure.

Without warning the room disappeared and we reappeared in what resembled my bedroom. Clothes on the bed, old shoes still in the corner, and everything else right where I left it. A light shone from under the door where I knew my bathroom to be. Reluctantly I headed towards the light understanding that was its way of leading me about this illusion.

Gingerly I pushed the bathroom door open and there before me was my old bathroom. Memories haunted me of the things that occurred in here by my hands. Just as the memories ran through my mind the most damning tool appeared on the counter top, right beside the sink.

A single razor blade.

"What is the meaning of this?" I shouted out into the dark.

'Dark acts feed the darkness.' The disembodied voice laughed.

"I'm done with this lifestyle. I haven't done this in months and I haven't looked back since." I growled out annoyed and frustrated. How the hell would this help me find anyone? Nothing that it was saying made sense.

'You must sacrifice some of you to get the power you seek.'

"You can't be serious..." I huffed.

'You must give to get.' It laughed maniacally as it's presence disappeared from my senses.

Looking down at the singular razor the tightness in my chest grew. Was it indeed possible to gain power by giving up the little bit of control that I had gained on my own? It hadn't been long and I could still vividly remember the sweet pain and damning pleasure of slicing into my own skin. With my added ability I could do it as much as I wanted without any evidence of my indiscretions.

My mind went to Alistair, Levi, Tommy, Jason, and Asher. My two bond mates were always the first on my mind now but for the first time in my life I realized that I now had a whole host of people that cared enough about me to miss me. Did I do this redeem myself, and gain the power I knew we needed to fight off whoever was behind this or did I go back and try to figure out a better plan to defeat our unknown enemies?

'Feed me.' The voice echoed interrupting my own thoughts. 'I am your only chance. I am their only chance. You can't do it without me. I will give you more control than you've ever had. More power than you know what to do with.'

Could they forgive me if I did this? Would they understand why?

"I love you guys so much. I will come back to you. Please know that I'm doing this for us."  I opened my mind to them and immediately it was flooded with questions and immense, emotional vibes that floored me.

I had to continue to remind myself that this was for them and although they were mad at me now, later they would thank me for solving all our problems. By giving up this little sliver of control I could finally have complete control over the rest of my life.

Reluctantly I reached out, my fingers grazing the counter top as I reached for it. With my index finger I slid it to the edge of the counter before gripping it between my thumb and forefinger. The cool metal felt familiar to me.

'Feed me!' The voice had become more urgent.

I will feed it. I will feed it my sliver of control and gain even more in return. I would make this sacrifice and become stronger than I've ever been. My life and my family meant the world to me and I had messed that up but I would fix everything.

Stretching out my left arm, palm up I contemplated for a split second if this was smart. But my mind had already been made up. I would do this and we would survive. Reaching out with the blade tucked tightly between my fingers I inched the blade closer to the smooth, un-scarred flesh that was my arm and took the final step, sealing my fate.

One drop.

That's all it was. Just one drop that made it slowly down my arm following some unseen path as it slowly worked it's way down to the always pristine white tile that was underneath me. It dropped off my arm and with a soft plop it began a new crimson puddle that would soon grow.

I had returned full circle to where I had begun.

I no longer had control.

But soon I would have it all; control and power.

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End of Le Renard!

But don't cry! Le Renard was only the first in a short series. La Magie is the next story in the series and it's in a completely different point of a view and continues right where we left off here in Le Renard. I hope that everyone enjoyed this story and I hope to see all you lovely readers on the next story.

Smooches!

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