Chapter 11

The rest of the party passed in a blur. The guys brought me food and made sure I was on the opposite side of the room from Beau at all times. It was like having my own private security team.

Every time it looked like he was getting closer, one of them would pretend like we were making our way to speak to someone else. And we did. Old acquaintances who were far too curious about me and the new pack. Old enemies too.

Now the sun had fully set and I was fading. My feet hurt from putting my shoes back on and balancing on the torture devices that were high heels for hours.

Ocean had already left, rushing out of the party when her Aunt and Uncle decided to leave. Rin was drunk enough I would put her in the spare bedroom, and everyone else…

I didn’t give a fuck about anyone else at this point.

Geoffrey stood at the door to the ballroom. “Will you please make sure Trinity gets to one of the guest suites, please? I don’t want her driving.”

“Of course, Miss Allen.”

“Thanks.”

Joel appeared at my side. “Are you all right?”

I smiled at him, unsure of everything at the moment. “I’m fine, but I’m tired. My feet hurt. I think I’m going to get ready and go to bed early. I’m still used to the time on the other coast, so it’s later for me.”

“We’ll come with you.”

“That’s okay. You guys enjoy the party.”

A low chuckle skimmed across my skin. “What would there be to enjoy about the party without you here?”

“Not having to keep me away from my ex.”

Joel raised his hand, and one by one they appeared. Emotion pricked my eyes, so I looked away from them and out into the rest of the house. It wasn’t a big thing. I was tired and overwhelmed from seeing Beau and my family and them. I wasn’t really tearing up about them being willing to leave a party for me. Was I?

The number of times I took a car home alone because Beau wanted to stay somewhere longer than I did…

Gentle fingers brushed my lower back, guiding me out of the room and into the subtle quiet of the rest of the mansion. I could hear the waves in the distance, and the tightness between my shoulders eased.

I hadn’t realized just how much I missed that sound.

We reached our suite, the whole thing lit with warm, low lighting. A slew of blankets and pillows had been stacked on and next to the bed. Whether Mom had told the staff to give us extras or it was Geoffrey being kind, I appreciated it.

Joel’s hand still rested on my lower back. “I feel like I stepped on a landmine back there. Did I?”

“A landmine?”

“Us leaving with you. Or were the tears from something else?”

Fuck. They noticed that. I wasn’t used to being so… observed. It was unnerving as much as it was validating.

“It’s nothing.” They didn’t need to hear my trauma about it. That’s not what I was paying them for.

He caught my arm before I stepped away and guided me back to him, tilting my face up to his with a single finger. I closed my eyes and breathed him in. I’d never been a bourbon girl, but the Alpha made me want to start. “If it bothers you, it’s not nothing.”

“I’m just not used to—you really want to hear this?”

“I do.” He didn’t look away at all. The others were close by and they could hear us too.

I swallowed. “I’m not used to anyone changing their plans for me. If I duck out of a party early, I’m usually doing it alone. Not that I’ve been to many parties this last year,” I mumbled the last bit. The wild weekends at the bar where I worked could be considered parties, I guess, but I left those alone too.

“Beau didn’t leave with you.” It wasn’t a question.

I fought my wince. “Not usually, no.”

All five men were quiet.

Too fucking quiet.

“I’m going to change,” I said softly, and Joel let me slip away from him and into the closet. Good thing I decided to bring my cute pajamas. Even with nothing happening, I wasn’t prepared for these men to see me in ratty sweats and a t-shirt so thin it was starting to get holes.

Instead, I put on a silky pair of shorts and a tank top. They had little cartoon clouds on them. Not my sexiest look, but not the worst, either.

I stepped out of the closet to find more chaos than when I left, with luggage everywhere.

“Do you mind if we share the closet with you?” Rowan asked.

“Of course. Sorry I hogged it.”

He stared at me, eyes roving over the pajamas I wore. But there wasn’t any judgment or derision on his face. There was… heat. Rowan cleared his throat. “That’s not what I meant. If you want your own space, it’s okay.”

“Oh.”

Avoiding the rest of their gazes, I went to the stacks of pillows and grabbed some, claiming a corner on the edge of the bed near the windows. There were more than enough pillows to do what I needed, so I began to line them up in a rectangle, blocking off the little chunk of the bed from the rest of it.

“Isolde?” Hawk’s voice caught my attention. I turned to look and froze. Low-slung black sweats and nothing else. The tattoos he had ran down both arms, but more than that. They flowed over his shoulders and down his sides, disappearing into those same sweatpants.

The tattoos framed his abs and the rest of his chest, his hair a little messy like he’d run his fingers through it while he changed. My mind didn’t need any more invitation—it filled my mind with images of the two of us. Me licking those abs as I fell to my knees. Those tattooed arms holding me down and moving me wherever he wanted.

Fuck.

I swallowed. “Yeah?”

He smirked like he knew exactly what I’d been thinking. “I know you didn’t expect to be in the same room with us, but I promise we’re not going to touch you if you don’t want us to.”

The pillows. I hadn’t thought they might think I didn’t trust them. What I didn’t say was that the pillows weren’t for them. They were for me. I didn’t trust myself this close to them, and I hadn’t decided what I wanted to do about the discussion Ocean and I had.

“I know.”

He smiled. “Just making sure.”

The rest of them took turns going in and out of the closet and the bathroom, and I was treated to five bodies that were on the verge of me saying fuck it.

I slipped into the bathroom and brushed my teeth, not fully prepared for the sight of all five of them sprawled across the giant bed. Hawk was the closest to my little nest.

“You guys okay for the lights?”

Murmurs of agreement drove me to the light switch, and I practically dove into the bed, nestling beneath blankets and cuddling into too many pillows. I closed my eyes, but they were so close. I could still smell them, tempting me closer. I could hear their breath.

“Isolde,” came the whisper. Cade’s voice. “Will you tell us how you met Beau?”

Here in the dark, it didn’t feel as vulnerable, and the comfort of finally being in bed and relaxed loosened my tongue. “We worked together. Tate Marketing. It’s the biggest marketing firm on this side of the country.”

“We know of it,” Vaughn said. “They do good work.”

“They do. I got a job there for graphic design, and I got it myself. Not because of my parents or anyone else. Beau is one of their ad executives. I mean, he is now. He was a junior account manager when we met and he was…” I sighed. “He was charming.”

Way too charming. Maybe that had been a sign?

“The lunch room. I had been craving a blueberry muffin, and they were out. But Beau was in line in front of me and had taken the last one. He saw the look on my face and gave it to me.

“It was our thing after that. The next day I found a blueberry muffin on my desk, and he kept bringing them to me. We became friends, and not long after that…” I shrugged even though they couldn’t see me.

“It came together so easily. I just said to Ocean today, I think I fell in love with him in a month. And things were good. I thought we were happy. Or at least happy enough. Then one day it was all gone. I know things don’t happen out of the blue, so I missed something. I just wish whatever I missed hadn’t taken four years.”

I turned on my back and stared at the ceiling. Now that the dam was open, I couldn’t stop. “I just didn’t see it coming. We lived together. He came home one weekend, he’d been out with friends, and told me it was over. That I needed to take my stuff and get out by the end of the next week. He wouldn’t tell me why. Hell, he wouldn’t say anything else to me. After he left again, I got what I could, and I was gone before he came back that night. Only took what I couldn’t live without. And by the end of the week, I was across the country, doing the last tasks at my job remotely. He’d been promoted. I just…”

My breath caught, and a familiar ache filled my chest. More because of my confusion and lack of closure than grieving anything to do with Beau. Which made it worse. Shouldn’t I be sadder? “I couldn’t face all the questions and all the pity. Instead, I ran and made everyone think I had something to hide.”

A harsh laugh. Vaughn. “I doubt that.”

“It’s true,” I said. “The people here only know and care about what they see. And because I didn’t dress up and go out holding my head held high, I’m—” I lifted my hand and let it drop back onto my stomach. “It doesn’t matter. But that’s why I couldn’t be here alone.”

Slowly, a hand touched my ankle. I jumped, but it didn’t move any more than that. It wasn’t a touch to break boundaries, it was a touch for comfort.

“I’m sorry,” Joel said, thumb brushing against my skin. “He didn’t deserve you.”

I wanted to say thank you, but I couldn’t. My throat choked on the words. Too much emotion pulling me in every direction. Instead, I tucked myself down into the pillows and closed my eyes, falling asleep to the gentle rhythm of that one single touch.