Chapter 23

Hawk wasn’t wrong. The rest of the pack waited for us in the suite. Vaughn was missing, but I heard the shower in the bathroom. Cade and Rowan had damp hair, the former pacing back and forth across the room like a caged animal.

Cade came straight to us.

“I found Beau pinning her against a doorframe.”

“Is he still alive?” Joel growled.

“Unfortunately.”

I dropped my eyes to the floor, all those emotions rising up again. Hawk let me slide down his body until I hit the floor. Cade pulled me in and held me hard, his unyielding strength allowing me to relax.

“I was actually coming back to ask you guys if you wanted to go to Cream Dream with Ellie and Warren tonight when he cornered me. Since you like waffles.”

“Our Omega, waffles, and some ice cream?” Vaughn strode out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel. “Sounds like fun.”

“We’d love to,” Cade said quietly.

Hawk stepped out from around where Cade held me. “Rowan, Isolde wanted you.”

“Yeah?”

I nodded.

He rose from the couch and came over to us, Cade brushing his lips across mine before he let me go.

“When I asked you guys to show me different things,” I blurted, “I don’t know if all of us needed be together for them? If one of you goes first, will that be okay? I’m just—” I shook out my hands, trying to get the nerves, anxiety, and everything else out.

“That’s perfectly fine, princess,” Cade whispered, tucking a stray hair behind my ear. “One of the best parts of being a pack, actually. You don’t have to be everything for everyone all the time. We have different strengths. If Rowan has what you need, then take it.”

Then he smiled, though there was still hardness in his eyes. Barely kindled rage at Beau, which made me feel…

Fuck. It made me feel everything.

“I look forward to my turn,” Cade said.

“Me too.”

Rowan took my hand, and I led him back out of the suite, guiding him through the house to a section that didn’t get used a lot. Mom and Dad lived in the other wing, and now that people were gone, we were pretty much alone. Hell, even when I lived here full time, almost no one used this library but me. It had a big window overlooking the ocean with a window seat that got soaked in sunlight every afternoon. Tons of books—including ones I’d collected. But mainly it was private and isolated.

I locked the door behind us, though I didn’t think any of the staff would be wandering in here.

Rowan looked around, taking it in. His hair was still damp from the shower, the fabric of his white t-shirt sticking to his skin. Well-worn jeans clung to his ass and thighs, making my mouth water.

“This is nice,” he said.

“I used to spend a lot of time here when I was younger.”

He traced a finger along one of the shelves. “I can see why. But I’m not sure why we’re here now.”

“Maybe I just wanted to show you.”

“Maybe. But I don’t think so.”

I wrapped my arms around myself. “I can’t stop thinking about what you said. While we were on the beach. And after what just happened, I need to turn my brain off. I don’t want to think about Beau or what an ass he is or how stupid I was to ever love him. All I want is to have some time where it’s not consuming my every thought, and I don’t know how to do it without help.”

A nearly intangible change shivered through the air. Rowan’s very presence grew larger as he stared at me. “I can help with that, but I’m going to ask you some questions.”

“Okay.” Neither of us had moved, but it felt like I was suddenly naked and on my knees.

He took a step closer, hands in his pockets, watching me. Every nuance and fidget, he saw. “What is your goal for this?”

“To turn my brain off.”

His smile broke through. “I know. I mean are you looking for sex? Or are you looking for something else?”

“I didn’t think it mattered. If it’s surrender, it’s what you want, right?”

“That is true.” He took another step toward me. “But as with anything in a power exchange, there’s no point in fulfilling a want if the other person isn’t getting what they need.”

My mouth opened and closed. I wet my lips, because everything had suddenly gone hot and dry. “I hadn’t planned anything beyond asking you.”

One of Rowan’s hands slipped behind my neck. “The things on the list you filled out? They’re fantasies. Ways to play and connect with each other. Things to try. That doesn’t mean they don’t require practice. So as much as I love the thought of taking you under command and keeping you there the whole day, playing to my every whim, you’re not ready for that.”

“The whole day?”

A low, rough purr rose in the space between us. “I’d love to do more than that. Take you to a place in your mind where you could disappear for days. Just you and me,” his lips quirked, “and whatever I want. Again, you’re not ready for that, and clearly we don’t have the time. I already know your limits, so what is it you need, Isolde?”

Everything felt so heavy. All I needed was the weight gone. Beyond that, I felt like I couldn’t even think. “I need someone else to be in control. I promise I’m not trying to be vague, but that’s what it is. Pleasure is great. Sex is great. But what I need is… surrender.”

“You need a safeword.”

“Banana,” I said instantly. “I already chose that one with Vaughn.”

Rowan chuckled. “Banana. I like it.” He stepped forward then, his other hand coming up my throat. My neck was now ringed by his fingers. There didn’t need to be pressure there for me to freeze, every Omega instinct melting in the presence of an Alpha.

His eyes warmed, unspoken approval flowing out of them. I would have leaned into his touch if I could move at all.

“For the next two hours, you belong to me. You will make no decisions—not take a single step—without me telling you to do so. Your obedience will be instant, and without hesitation. You don’t need permission to come, but you will tell me if you’re going to. Because we’re new at this, if you have a question and you can’t see me or touch me, say ‘question.’ If you can touch me, tap me three times. Until the time is up, or you use your safeword, you’re mine, do you understand?”

“Yes.”

Heat flared in his gaze. “Good girl.”

It was the only warning I got. Rowan spun me, pinning my back to his chest, his hands going to the buttons at the top of my dress. “I fucking love buttons. It’s like you wore this just for me so I could unwrap you.”

Heated kisses down my neck and across my shoulder when he pulled the dress down. Pleasure and more than that, I knew I didn’t have to worry about what he wanted or what I wanted, because he was already taking care of it.

Rowan pushed the dress off my shoulders, allowing it to pool on the floor. A few seconds later, the rest of my clothes joined the dress, and he released me just to stare. My whole body flushed at the attention, and I had to resist the urge to cover myself. Not because I was embarrassed—they’d all already seen me naked—but because I wasn’t used to being seen like this.

“You’re fucking beautiful, you know that?” He took my chin gently between his fingers. “And not only because you’re naked in front of me. You have a beautiful soul.”

I opened my mouth to speak and closed it again. He hadn’t told me to. Liquid heat poured over me in a wave.

“You may speak.”

“How do you know I have a beautiful soul? You barely know me.”

Rowan looked around the library, gaze settling on a green velvet armchair. He picked it up like it was a feather, placing it in front of the window, so whoever sat there could admire the view. “The same way I know your parents and sister love you. Or the way I knew the others were my pack as soon as we met. Sometimes you simply know something. Time has nothing to do with it. Step out of your dress.”

I moved to the side, and he picked it up off the floor, draping it over the seat of the chair. Then he turned, a sparkle in his eyes. “Your turn. Undress me.”

Up close, Rowan was overwhelming. More than a foot of height on me, with the freshly showered version of his scent bathing me in memories of sunlight and the sea. He helped me get his shirt up and over his head because I wasn’t tall enough, and I dragged my fingers through the hair on his chest, feeling every smooth plane and muscled groove.

“I didn’t tell you to explore me,” he said, but the words were light. Amused. “But I like it. Feel free.”

My fingers moved like they had a life of their own, tracing the line of his abs and downward, skimming over the lines that dipped beneath his jeans.

He wasn’t wearing a belt. The button of his jeans was easy to undo, with Rowan rescuing his phone before I tugged them down. His boxer briefs too, hit the floor, and I realized this was the first time I’d seen any of them truly naked.

My eyes rose to his. That same amusement lurked there, wondering what I would do with the hard cock I’d just revealed. Long, straight, the tip already glistening with arousal. The hair on his body had been neatly trimmed. I watched as his hand curled around his shaft and stroked once. Again. A third time.

I was hypnotized by a dick, and I wasn’t mad about it.

“Isolde?”

My head snapped up and found Rowan smiling.

“Go lean on the window seat. Bent over, using your elbows. I want to see that pretty pink cunt on display for me.”

Words like that undid me. Until these men, I thought the only men who spoke like that only existed in books or my imagination. Beau had certainly never been able to turn my body into a sultry puddle with a single sentence. But that’s what I was now. Wet, wanting, and happy to obey.

The sun wasn’t bearing down on the window yet. It was just bright and pleasant. Outside, the tide was coming in, slowly creeping up the beach. I heard the sounds of Rowan moving behind me, but I made myself not look. He hadn’t told me I could, and there was something glorious about having nothing to do but rest here and watch the sea.

No worries.

No responsibilities.

A knot of tension I’d barely noticed released between my shoulders.

His hands landed on my ass, smoothing over the skin. “Do you think if this skin got enough sun, you’d get freckles here too?”

“I never really thought about it.”

His fingers gave a tiny, stinging slap in reprimand for speaking. “Widen your legs. I want your feet outside mine.”

Obeying, I found his feet and widened my stance. It exposed me obscenely, and I couldn’t even care. His hands were still on my skin, always moving, making me feel like I was the center of the goddamn universe.

He ran one of his knuckles between my legs and groaned. “Fuck me. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of the way you taste.”

There was no warning. His mouth was on me. Devouring me. Tongue thrusting deep inside me. It felt entirely different like this. Had I ever been eaten from behind? I didn’t think so. It didn’t have a right to feel this good.

Rowan moaned. “I want to see you in this position getting yourself off. Showing the five of us how you touch yourself, and then be there to clean up your cum with our tongues.”

I dug my fingers into the cushion of the window seat, holding on because it felt like I was swirling through space. Free falling into Rowan’s words. But it wasn’t out of control. It was freedom. The ability to let go and know someone held the boundaries.

He held me against his mouth, fingers digging into my hips like he couldn’t bring me close enough or plunge deep enough, never taste enough. Rowan’s tongue dragged upward, straying to my ass, and he consumed that too, without reservation. “Have you been taken here? You can answer.”

“Kind of. We tried it once and neither of us really liked it, so we never did it again.”

Rowan bit me gently, slipping a finger deep, just like he had the other night. “Would you be willing to try again?”

I nodded, my head falling to the cushion. Yes, I was willing, because I already knew they would stop if I needed them to, and they would do whatever they could to make it feel incredible. “I need words, Omega.”

“Yes. I would try it again.”

“Good girl.”

My whine was swallowed by the cushions. I couldn’t keep my eyes open when his tongue fucked me like that. Fingers, lips, teeth, tongue. Rowan took his time, until my whole body felt bathed in sensation, my knees shaking every time he ran his tongue over my clit.

I moaned when he pulled back.

“Turn around, Isolde. Slowly. Your legs might be stiff.”

In reality, they were somewhere between being too stiff and absolute jelly, which didn’t make sense but didn’t make it any less true.

I wasn’t prepared for the sight of Rowan sitting in the chair—sprawling in it like a king—on top of my dress, like he was claiming me that way too while keeping the chair clean.

“Kneel down.”

My knees obeyed before I could think the thought. I knew what he meant now about being taken to a place where this could last days. It would be like taking the longest, most delicious nap of my life.

Rowan leaned down, his face close to mine. “You wrote on your questionnaire that you enjoy blowjobs, and further. Is that true?”

When I hesitated he smiled and kissed my forehead. “If I’m asking you a question, you can always answer, little flower.”

I preened at the nickname, my Omega nearly purring in contentment. If Omegas could purr. “Everything I wrote on there is the truth.”

“Good. Because you’re going to put your mouth on me now. Feel free to move when you wish to keep yourself comfortable, because you’re not allowed to remove your mouth until I tell you to.”

Reaching out, I tapped his knee three times before he pulled back. “What’s your question?”

“Why not just tell me to? Why ask if I enjoy it?”

He smiled and reached for my hand, taking mine and wrapping it around his shaft while he spoke. “Give some men power like this, and they’d have you on your knees, using your mouth, whether or not you enjoyed it. And that’s all they’d do.”

A smirk that sent shivers down my spine. Rowan moved my hand while he spoke, showing me how to stroke and twist at once. “I’m not saying I’ll only do things you fully enjoy. But there’s a reason this is called an exchange. Both of us getting something out of it. Today, I’m choosing only things I know you’ll enjoy, because I fully intend on making you come, so I’m building to it.”

My lips formed a small ‘o.’ He saw my hesitance while at the same time still moving both our hands, his cock hot and hard beneath my palm. When I squeezed him, he let out a groan. “Careful, Isolde. You wanted to say something?”

“How did you know?”

I loved that smile and the way his eyes traced over me. They were lighter in the brightness, honeyed amber too sweet for the dominance rolling off him. “Your face says everything you’re thinking. Tell me.”

“I like them, but I’m not very good at them,” I whispered.

“Is that what you think? Or is that what you’ve been told?”

“Both.”

He leaned forward further, lips brushing my ear, breath making me shiver. Goosebumps raced over my skin, my nipples hardened, and I swore I felt pleasure straight down in my core with his words. “How could you possibly be bad at it when I’m going to tell you exactly what to do? When I sit back, you’re going to put those sinful fucking lips around my cock and take as much of me as you can comfortably. Nothing else. If you understand, say ‘yes, Alpha.’”

The air must have gone up like ten degrees because it was so much hotter in here than it had been before. “Yes, Alpha.”

Rowan sat back, the mantle of power around him nearly visible. I just wanted to stare at him. Gorgeous. The ambient sunlight made his hair more gold than brown, painting the lines of his body in sharper contrasts. I was having a hard time not leaning forward and licking them. And the cock my hand was still wrapped around?

Fuck me.

He raised one eyebrow, and I blinked. Right.

Rising up on my knees, I slid my mouth around him, his scent suddenly concentrated into a flavor so real my eyes rolled back in my head. I moaned on purpose, giving him the sound he’d wanted at breakfast, his face told me he knew it.

But he groaned—a pure sound of pleasure—that made me eager.

It was the reason I liked this even if I wasn’t great at it. Giving someone pleasure made me happy. And the raw fire in his eyes told me everything I needed to know.

I obeyed his instructions, sliding down his length until I couldn’t take more of him comfortably, and waited. There was still more of him. I was pretty sure I could take him all, but it would be a struggle.

One I already knew I’d enjoy.

Beau hadn’t let me do this. It was always fast and quick. He said I wasn’t the best, but no man said no to a woman’s mouth. Now those words made me cringe. How the fuck did I ever think that was normal?

I waited, my palms on Rowan’s thighs, waiting. I thought it might be awkward, but it wasn’t. If I were kneeling on a pillow, I could do this for a while.

“Suck it for me, Isolde, nice and slow.” His palm spread across the back of my head, holding it in place. “Don’t move. Just suck.”

I did, closing my eyes and drowning in the taste of him. Coconut and salt. The feeling of being filled. The world narrowed to me and him. Nothing else.

He guided me an inch deeper. Farther than was comfortable, but it was okay. “Can you stay here? Tap twice if you can. Be honest.”

Two taps.

“Damn, Isolde,” he breathed the words, thumb slowly caressing my head as he held me in place. I sucked harder, wanting to drive him crazy. This was fun, finding the tiniest of loopholes. He told me to suck his cock—he didn’t tell me how hard to do it.

He laughed, like he knew what I was doing. Slowly, Rowan pumped his hips into my mouth, forcing the last inches of himself in, and easing back. Over and over again, pushing into my throat with an almost ruthless consistency.

I’d never had my throat fucked slowly. Every nerve was on fire, arousal swimming in my veins, and I was far closer to having an orgasm than when he’d had his tongue on me. This was exactly what I needed.

My eyes fluttered closed, and I relaxed further. I didn’t want to move from this spot. I had a vision of lying in bed with him, his cock in my mouth, neither of us moving, and I had no reason for why it was making me so desperately wet.

Rowan shifted his hand to grip my hair, pulling hard, taking the time to let me feel that sensation and revel in it before pulling me off him. I almost whined. “If I don’t get your beautiful ass up here, I’m going to finish, and I’m not done with you.” Then his mouth quirked. “Though I think you’d like your mouth knotted on my cock, wouldn’t you?”

A shudder shook me to the core. Yes.

He lifted me, and suddenly I was sinking down onto him, stretched and full, and oh my god, it had been so long since I’d been fucked with an actual dick I’d almost forgotten what it felt like.

“Hands on my shoulders,” he said.

I was caught between questions and desire. So much I wanted to know and ask. Instead, I bit my lip, grabbed his shoulders, and sank all the way down onto his cock.

“You can move while I fuck you, little flower. Anything to help get off, except touch yourself. That’s my job.”

All the slow gentleness of being on my knees was gone. Rowan gripped my hips and pulled them down, thrusting up at the same time, taking me hard and fast. He said I could move, but there was absolutely no chance of that. This was a ride I never wanted to get off of. Get off? Sure. Get off him? No thank you.

Rowan was bigger than Beau. He filled me in a way the other man hadn’t. Delicious friction swirled beneath my skin, the tendrils of true pleasure drawing tighter.

“How close are you? Give me a percentage.”

My mind blanked. Percentage? “Sixty.”

“Mmm.” One hand grabbed my hair and pulled my head back, exposing my neck. That alone brought me another ten percent. “You like words. Let’s see what we can do with them. What would I do if I had you at my mercy for days on end?” His low laugh dropped through me. Like this wasn’t a hypothetical, it was a fucking plan. God, yes. Please.

“No clothes. Ever. Because we wouldn’t be leaving the house, and I want to see your perfect body. Maybe find out if we can get some freckles on that ass of yours. Maybe I’d order you onto the bed, face down and ass up, and tell you to play with your clit. No coming, but giving yourself pleasure, and then just leave you there. Wondering if and when I was going to come and fuck this dripping pussy.”

Rowan found my clit and moved his thumb back and forth. Consistent, delicious pressure along with those fingers in my hair and the movement of his cock and⁠—

“Maybe I’d come fuck you and leave you wanting so we could do it all over again. Or maybe,” he dragged me closer to growl in my ear, “I’d sit you on my face and eat you until I was satisfied, no matter how many orgasms you had. Maybe I’d fuck you and hold a vibrator against your clit and prove to you how many orgasms you’re capable of giving me. Then knot your mouth when your cunt is too tired.

“You’d give me everything, Isolde. Nothing left. Every inch of your body and soul would be mine by the time I finished with you.”

He moved again, grabbing my hips and tilting them, changing the angle. Oh fuck. Oh god. I dug my nails into his shoulders to hold on, moving like he told me to. Awkward and without rhythm, I found it. Matching what he’d done and shifting so the head of his cock hit right there.

Light flashed behind my eyes, orgasm slamming into me so hard I couldn’t even breathe. I wasn’t in control of my body, every movement pure instinct to make it last longer. Feel better. Give me one more taste of the delicious sharpness slicing me to pieces.

Rowan slid home, knot locking into place as he came, adding to the wave. It fit me perfectly. Exactly where I needed it to be. Everything shook, all my strength gone, stolen by pleasure.

I melted as it left me, letting my head fall to his shoulder. One of the hands on my hips moved to my spine. “It hasn’t been two hours, but we’re finished. No rules or commands. Just rest with me.” Long, slow strokes of his hand up and down my back. “Did it help?”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you it was coming. It was so fast. And yes. Thank you.”

His purr only made me cling to him further. “I think I should be thanking you. And if it was the person we’re not speaking about who told you that you were bad at giving head, he’s a fucking liar.”

“He didn’t say bad, exactly, just not amazing. But no one says no to a blow job, so⁠—”

“Can I ask you something?”

I turned my head on his shoulder, breathing in the crook of his neck. His scent was so rich here it was like a hit of the best high in the world. “Sure.”

“Was he your first?”

My body stiffened, and Rowan’s purr strengthened, along with the movement of his hand on my spine. “You don’t have to answer.”

“No, um, it’s okay. Yes and no. I was with someone in high school, both of us just wanting to get it out of the way. But yes for most things.” Shame pressed me down. “Maybe if he hadn’t been I would have seen the truth earlier.”

Rowan growled lightly in my ear. Not enough to disturb the peace he’d brought me, but a clear reprimand. “Isolde.”

“It’s true, though. You can’t say it’s not. Me being naïve put me here.”

“Believe me,” he whispered, “I understand the desire to figure out why the hell people do what they do. Or why we didn’t see something about them. But pinning down the exact moment or decision you could have changed won’t alter anything.”

“I know. Can’t seem to stop, though.”

He turned his head and kissed my neck. “I’m sorry about everything you’ve gone through, but I’m happy you’re here now.”

“Why?”

“Besides the fact that you’re naked and impaled on my knot?” I heard the smile in his voice. “Because if you weren’t here, and none of this had ever happened, I think I’d miss you anyway.”

My breath caught in my chest. I pulled back far enough to look into his eyes. There wasn’t any trace of a lie or a joke. He was telling the truth. “That’s nice of you to say.”

Rowan’s knot began to loosen, and I went to stand off him only to find his arms locking around me. “Don’t move, Omega.” The command was all but a bark.

“I thought we were done.”

“I thought we were,” he said, thrusting once with his hips. “But neither of us are ready for this to be over. I want your body locked to mine a while longer.”

It was a statement, but he asked the question with his face. I wasn’t under his control. I could say no. But I didn’t want to. Being here with him felt so good I didn’t want it to end.

“Yeah.”

“Hold on to me, little flower. This will be hard and fast.”

I wrapped my arms around his neck and let go, falling into the pleasure of being fucked again, until Rowan’s knot expanded inside me once more, filling me to perfection, making sure there was nowhere else I could go.

And I wished it could be so much longer than we had.