Chapter 33

My eyelids felt heavy. But I was warm. Comforting darkness surrounding me, along with the sharp scent of citrus softened with cream.

I was awake while he got us into the shower and cleaned off all the sand and everything else. But awake and coherent were two different things. I’d used every ounce of energy, and I was happy to let him take care of me.

Vaughn’s purr rumbled against my back. I had my head tucked under a blanket, unsure which one of us had put it there. But I liked the way he kept me close. I loved waking up tangled, like whoever it was wanted me close, even when neither of us were conscious.

It had started off that way with Beau, but it faded pretty quickly. I brushed it off as nothing more than being tired and busy.

Taking a deeper breath, I turned in Vaughn’s arms, pressing my face to his bare chest and that relaxing vibration. “What day is it?”

He laughed quietly. “It’s the morning after.”

“Thought I’d sleep longer,” I mumbled.

“You can still sleep if you want to. In fact, I think Joel wants to spend the day pampering you. Naps can definitely be part of that.”

“Not you?”

Slowly, Vaughn pulled the blanket away from my head. I blinked against the sudden brightness. “I’ll do whatever you want or need, sweetheart. But you haven’t spent time with Joel yet, and you already know comfort is what he craves. That being said, if you want me, I’m yours.”

“Right. You’re opposites.”

He smiled and brushed a kiss to my temple. “Kind of.”

The lightness faded from his face, and he ran a hand through my hair. “How do you feel?”

“I feel good.”

“You sure?”

I wiggled, tensing and stretching. There might be some scrapes on my knees, and some sensitivity from the sand, but nothing hurt. Not really. My instincts were still close to the surface, my Omega enjoying the warmth and closeness. I felt more like an Omega than I had in a long time. “Feels like I worked out really hard. I’m fine.”

“Good.” His hand kept stroking through my hair. “That was a lot, and I want to make sure you’re fine with everything that happened. I know I asked you at the end, but it’s different on the other side of sleep.”

Closing my eyes, I snuggled closer. “It was intense, that’s for sure. But I liked it. I didn’t know I could even do something like that.” My eyes flew open. “Are you okay? I tossed you onto the rocks in the cave.”

“I’m fine, sweetheart.” His purr grew stronger, and he laughed. “You took me by surprise there. Had my Alpha all riled up.”

“I didn’t even think about the fact that people could see us. Hear us.”

“Everyone else was spaced out, making sure we weren’t disturbed or interrupted. I wouldn’t put you in that position, I promise.”

“They helped?”

I felt him nod.

“That was nice of them.”

Vaughn held me a little tighter. There was a hitch in his chest, like he might say something else, but he didn’t.

Drifting for a while longer, I felt the mattress dip near us, and someone kissed my shoulder. “You awake?”

“Barely.”

Joel pulled me so I looked up at him. “Want to take a bath with me?”

A bath did sound nice. I glanced at Vaughn and found him grinning. “I’ll be just fine.”

It felt weird to separate from him after the intensity of our night, but he wasn’t wrong. I wanted a different kind of softness, and I wanted to know what Joel would do. So I looked back at him. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

“Perfect. Stay here, and I’ll start the water.”

Vaughn rolled over me, pinning me to the bed and reminding me exactly what he’d done. “Thank you for letting me chase you,” he breathed, kissing me.

“Thank you for doing it. I don’t think I’ll ever do anything like that again.”

“I hope that’s not true, sweetheart.”

“Me too.”

Easing off me, he helped me sit up and be at the edge of the bed when Joel came back for me. I blinked. “Shit. The bachelorette is tonight.”

“You’ll be more than ready by then,” Joel said, lifting me up and carrying me into the bathroom. “And there’s plenty of time.”

“Are you going to the bachelor party?”

The giant tub was already filled with bubbles, water steaming. Joel helped me in before stripping his own clothes off to get in with me. I scooted forward, happy to let him get behind me.

“I don’t think so. Warren is a good guy, but we’re not his friends. And,” he tugged me back against his chest, lifting up some water to drizzle it over my shoulders. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for any of us to be in the same room as Beau. Warren might lose his best man.”

“You wouldn’t really kill him.”

Joel’s arm came hard around my waist. “Don’t be so sure about that. I get the feeling what you’ve told us and what we’ve seen is barely scratching the surface.”

That same hand stroked down my body to the insides of my thighs. “But I don’t want to talk about him. He’s not worth your time. This might be, if you’re not tired of being fucked.”

“Does anyone get tired of that?” My body chose that second to yawn, making us both laugh.

“It’s okay if you’re tired.”

“I am tired,” I admitted. “But I also want you.”

A warm kiss on the side of my neck followed by his hand lifting my leg to one side of his. “Only comfort, Isolde.”

I leaned my head back on his shoulder. When he said it, it sounded easy. But lying here with him, even though it felt amazing, was hard. They were here for me, and while it was quiet, it was hard to just exist in my thoughts. I should be doing something.

“Can I ask you something?” Joel’s voice was low and soothing, along with his tracing fingers, which hadn’t touched me where I wanted him to. Yet.

“Sure.”

“You were in a relationship for a long time where you weren’t appreciated. Then you were on your own, making ends meet. Now you’re here, and… you didn’t want to let us help with the little things like the doors.”

I pressed my lips together. My words came out harsher than I intended. “That’s not a question.”

“How long has it been since you actually allowed yourself to let go?” Joel kept speaking before I could. “And I don’t mean when we’ve pushed you into it. We can guide you into relaxing or having a good time, but it won’t help you if you don’t allow it.”

And how was I supposed to do that?

The words were on the tip of my tongue, ready to lash out and snap. But Joel hadn’t said anything untrue, and the fact that I had such a strong reaction to them was on me.

But the question, without the hostility, rattled around in my head. How was I supposed to let go when I held my life together with both hands? At the end of the day, I was the one responsible for me. I was the one who would still be here after they left. I was alone. I couldn’t afford to let go for longer than the space of time they helped me. Because if I did, everything would fall apart.

“I didn’t mean to shut you down.”

“It’s not as simple as it seems,” I told him. “I… can’t do that.”

“What if you could?”

I huffed a laugh. “Then it would be great. But I can’t. I don’t have anyone else, Joel. My family and my friends—” I broke off. “It’s not the same. It’s not like being someone’s priority. And I miss that. Even more so when I realize I was never someone’s priority, I only thought I was. After the wedding, when you all are back to your lives, I’ll still be here, and no one’s priority.”

Joel’s fingers stilled on my thigh, nothing but silence filling the surrounding air.

“Sorry.” I scrubbed a hand over my face. “Must be more tired than I thought.”

He sat up in the tub and took me with him, wrapping his body firmly around mine. His arms held mine against me in an embrace, his legs pressed against the outsides of mine. “Don’t apologize. Please. Not for saying what you feel. I’m sorry for asking a question that took you there.”

I sagged into his hold, trying to imagine this all the time. The ability to break and know someone would clean up the pieces. Tears pricked the back of my eyes at the thought.

“You are my priority,” he whispered.

The tears grew.

“What’s going on in here?” Cade stood in the doorway with a mischievous smile that dropped away when he saw me. “Isolde, what’s wrong?”

“It’s me,” Joel leaned back with me again, keeping me close while spreading my legs with his. This time when he let his hand creep downward, he brushed my clit. “Asking Isolde questions instead of doing what I promised and making her feel good.”

He touched me slowly, like a sensual massage. Not trying to make me come, but merely making my body aware of his and his moving fingers. It felt good, despite everything.

Cade smirked and came over to the tub. “If he’s bothering you, princess, you can come with me and I’ll take care of you. I’ve been wanting to show you my rope.”

My eyes went wide, and Joel pulled me more firmly to him. “Mine.” But the word was playful.

I reached for Cade’s hand. He crouched by the tub to take mine, smoothing his thumb along my wet skin. “I do want that. But after last night, I’m still really tired.”

“After the bachelor parties then. If you want.”

“I very much want.”

Cade’s eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled, and the scruff on his jaw made him look even better than he already did. “Then it’s a date. What’s your favorite color?”

“Why?”

“It’s a surprise.”

I rolled my eyes, but smiled. “Emerald green.”

“Like your party dress.”

“Yeah. Rin knows how to pick things I can’t resist. The one I’d picked was black.”

He lifted my hand and kissed the back before standing. “I’m glad you wore the green. Now I’ll let you get back to relaxing. Sorry I interrupted.” Cade left with a wink.

Joel’s fingers still moved slowly over me, barely brushing my entrance before retreating to my clit, over and over again. A gentle purr that kept me relaxed and limp. I hadn’t even realized my eyes were closing until Joel moved, and I jerked awake.

“Sorry,” he murmured into my hair. “I’m going to move us to the bed, okay?”

“Kay.”

He dried me off, and I found myself in the center of the big bed, wrapped in a blanket so soft I had no idea where it came from. Then Joel was with me, curling me further into the blanket, arranging us together with his hand between my legs. “Before you fall asleep⁠—”

“I’m not asleep.”

Joel chuckled and kissed my cheek. “Well, before you are, little sleepy Omega, I’m sorry I brought up something that’s hurting you. But you can always talk about it with us, okay?”

I frowned. “You’ll let me call you just for that?”

He laughed again. “Of course. How does sleepy sex sound to you?”

Our conversation in front of Cream Dream came back to me. Waking up with sex. In my clouded mind, that sounded yummy. “Yes please.”

“Rest. We’ll make sure you’re awake for the party.”

I’d never fallen asleep so quickly.