Chapter 35

Joel’s rough groan brought me to the surface again, my body exquisitely weighted down by the bonds of sleep. I forgot how much I loved sleep, because these past weeks with them had been the best I’d had in years.

Dragging my eyes open, I found Joel braced above me, hand squeezing his cock as he milked the last of his orgasm from himself and into me. His knot was swollen at the base, but he hadn’t locked us together. Probably because I was supposed to get ready right now.

He caught me watching and smiled before reaching between us, and he didn’t look away as his fingers pushed leaking cum back inside. A flush rolled up my body. There was nothing to fear from this—I’d had the quick procedure to pinch off my tubes as soon as I realized I didn’t want to be a mom. It was reversible if I ever changed my mind, but I doubted it.

All the same, the movement was fucking hot, and I had no idea why.

“You need to get ready,” Joel said.

“And maybe take a shower.”

A soft growl, and his mouth came down on mine. “If you want to, but I’d rather you didn’t.”

“You like the thought of your cum dripping out of me?” Why was my voice so breathy? Why didn’t there feel like there was enough air between us?

“Like isn’t a strong enough word. I love the thought of me dripping out of you. I love the thought of my scent mixing with your perfume while you dance tonight. I love the thought of you coming back and sitting on my face and letting me taste us both together.”

“You’re making staying home sound really good.”

He smirked and kissed the tip of my nose. “I’m not going to be responsible for depriving your sister of you at her bachelorette party.”

“Fine.” I frowned. My perfume hovered in the air, and I wasn’t perfuming right now. Which meant it had been while he fucked me. Asleep. “Can’t believe I was perfuming while asleep.”

“I enjoyed it.” Joel helped me up off the bed. It didn’t take me long to put on the clothes I was wearing. Just jeans and a green halter I liked. We were going to a club, thankfully, nothing too fancy.

Joel was dressed when I came back out, typing on his phone. I loved Ellie, and I was sure as soon as I got there it would be fun. But the idea of a night at the club with all of her friends wasn’t my favorite thing. If Ocean and Rin were there? Sure. “What if I decide I want to come back early?”

“Call us. We’ll be there.”

“Just like that?”

“Of course.” He stood and took me in slowly, lifting the hair off my shoulders and brushing it back. “We would never leave you stranded somewhere you didn’t want to be, Isolde.”

I nodded. They wouldn’t. Nothing they’d done had made me think otherwise, but I still wanted the reassurance. Fuck Beau and the number he’d done on my brain. Every day it was becoming more clear that he’d damaged me more than I had allowed myself to admit.

“Just have fun.” He took my face in his hands and kissed me softly. I knew exactly what he meant by comfort now. He’d given me all that comfort. Even when I was breaking apart, it hadn’t felt uncomfortable with him there.

“What will you do?”

“Warren gave us free rein with his gaming systems, so we might go kick some ass. Vaughn is surfing and Rowan is home tending to his plants. And maybe making some candy for you, I’m guessing.”

I startled. “Candy?”

“The man is amazing at making edibles. You’ll have to have him make you his caramels, since I know you love that. But the lemon bars are my favorite.”

“I could probably use one right about now.”

“We’ll make sure you try them.” He kissed me one more time. “Don’t be late.”

I headed to meet Ellie, but I wanted to stay. Who was I turning into? Since when did a quiet night in ever top going out? Before I’d moved, a night at the club like this would have been at the top of my list no matter who was there. Society parties? No thank you. Club with the girls? Yes please.

Now, curling up with Joel while he played video games sounded really nice.

Maybe I was getting older and changing.

Or maybe it was just who they were.

Ellie stood in the foyer with Warren, in a white pair of jeans and a tank top with a sparkly bride blazoned across the front. “Embracing tradition I see.”

She grinned. “Bet your ass. I only get one, so it’s going to be all the tacky shit. Be ready.”

“I think I am.”

My sister looked at her fiancé. “Be good.”

“You know if I wasn’t banned from your party I’d rather be there with you.” He only had eyes for her. “And if you change your mind, we’re just down the street.”

The guys were hanging out at a dark, smoky cigar bar down the street. Most guys would probably want the classic strip club experience, but Warren wasn’t most guys. I’d been on the phone with her when she asked him if he wanted to go to a strip club for the party, and the horror on his face was hard to forget.

In the space it took me to remember that, they were making out in a way that wasn’t going to get us out the door. “Get a room,” I joked, grabbing Ellie’s hand. “Or use the one you have later.”

“You be good too,” Warren called after us.

Ellie slid into the back of the SUV first. Her driver already knew where we were going. She snorted. “As if I wouldn’t be good.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time someone got a little too rowdy before their wedding.”

“Rowdy, yes. But there’s a reason we’re having the parties a week in advance. So we can get absolutely blasted and still have a fantastic wedding.”

“And then Warren can take care of you.”

Ellie grinned. “Exactly.”

I reached out and took her hand. “Sorry I haven’t seen you as much.”

“I’ve been so busy I should be apologizing to you. With having a wedding planner and everything, I thought things would be calmer this close to it, but it feels like I’ve been going at full speed this whole time.” She squeezed my hand. “I’m just glad you’re here.”

“I’m glad about that too.”

“I bet you are. With a pack like that?” Ellie leaned back and shook her head. “I’m so fucking in love with Warren, but even I’ve got my eyes. And they can’t take theirs off you, Iz.”

“It’s been… nice.”

“You did not just say they’re nice.”

“What? It’s true.”

She burst out laughing. “Isolde. Those men worship the ground you walk on and one look at them tells me they know exactly what they’re doing in bed. So please tell me it’s better than fucking nice.”

I turned as red as a strawberry. Or a tomato. Or my hair. Ellie grinned at me in victory. “I knew it.”

What would everyone think after the wedding when they suddenly weren’t around? What would I do? Every day that passed made me a little more comfortable with them and a little more afraid of what was going to happen when it was over. I didn’t want it to be over.

My mouth went dry. It was the first time I’d let myself think it. I didn’t want it to end with them, despite it being temporary.

Trinity had better be ready to pick me up off the floor because it was her idea.

“Hey,” Ellie said. “Where’d you go?”

“Sorry. Just got lost in my thoughts.”

“Of them? Do I need to kick their asses?”

“No,” I said with a laugh. “You don’t have to kick their asses.”

“Good. That wasn’t on my agenda for tonight.”

We pulled up to the club, which wasn’t too far from the house. Nothing was very far in Clarity. There was already a line outside though the sun wasn’t quite set, and we walked right past it, our names already on the list.

Because of me getting ready and Ellie’s make out session, we were a touch late, and the rest of the bridal party was already there. Including Angela. I groaned, and Ellie looped her arm through mine on the way up to VIP. “I know. The girls already know to make a barrier between the two of you. If everything goes well, you won’t even have to talk to her.”

“That’s nice of you, but I’m a big girl. I can take care of it if I need to.” Then I paused. “Wait, is she in the wedding?”

“No. She’s just around because of Beau. And…” She winced. “Fuck, this probably isn’t the best time to tell you this. Remember how you’re the co-maid of honor?”

“Meaning you’re too nice to me and let me get away with not coming to shit? Yeah, I remember.”

“Yeah. Well, Tina’s husband is in the wedding. One of them, anyway.”

There was a sinking feeling in my stomach. “So that means…”

“You’ll have to walk down the aisle with Beau. Are you going to be okay?”

I scrunched up my face. “It won’t be the most comfortable thing I’ve ever done, but yeah, I’ll be okay. Whether the guys will be is a different question. But as long as I don’t have to sit with him too, we’re good.”

“Hell no. He’s at the end of the head table with Angela. He wants her involved? He has to give up a good spot.”

We finished walking up the stairs. “I knew I loved you.”

“Because I’m amazing.”

The rest of her friends saw her, and I lost her to screams and promises to buy the bride a drink. I turned and looked out at the club, trying to soak in the atmosphere. This used to be my world. It didn’t feel like it much anymore, but there was a certain nostalgia to it.

But I couldn’t say I missed it.

Ellie eventually dragged me away from the railing and shoved a drink in my hand. I didn’t know her friends well, since they were all Ellie’s age and a few years younger than me, but they were nice. Fun. And were so intent on getting wasted that they didn’t notice I wasn’t drinking much. Enough to feel good and loose. Not enough to black out. Okay, more than enough to feel loose, but I was still fine. Maybe.

“Let’s dance!” My sister nearly tripped over herself—and everyone else—getting to me. “Come on. I wanna dance with my sister.”

We both laughed on the way to the packed dance floor, ignoring the hoots and shouts from people who knew it was a bachelorette. I was drunk enough to pull out my phone and take a selfie to send to Joel. He wanted his scent mixed with mine? It was happening. Right now.

I sent it to him.

Isolde:

Thinking of you.

Then I put my phone away, ignored it completely, and just danced.

We danced until the whole rest of the bridal party joined us. We danced until I was parched and desperately needed a drink. I grabbed Ellie and shouted over the music. “I need a drink.”

The bar was packed, but I eventually got the bartender’s attention for a water and another cosmo. Time to go back to VIP and take a break.

I barely managed to save my drink when I turned, knocking straight into someone.

Not just someone. Angela.

She looked at me with a look that could kill. “Watch it, bitch.”

I rolled my eyes. “The hate is unnecessary, Angela. I’m not trying to get Beau back. I don’t want him. I’m not trying to step on your toes. I just want to get through the wedding.”

Stepping past her, I went to weave through the crowd until I heard her. “Sure. I really believe you.” Something else was too low to hear, but it wasn’t anything kind.

Too bad for Angela I’d had enough to drink that I didn’t give a shit. I turned back to her. “What the hell is your problem? I haven’t done anything to you except what you’ve made up in your head.”

“Whatever.”

“Yeah, whatever.” I stomped across the club and back to our table, waving to Ellie when I saw her looking concerned.

A couple minutes later, I looked up to find Angela charging towards me. “You know what? Not whatever. I think what you’re doing is gross and over the top, and you should be fucking ashamed of yourself.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I mean the pack you brought to make Beau jealous.”

My eyebrows flew into my hairline. “Excuse me?”

“It’s obvious. You lost Beau, so you bring the kind of guys he can’t stand to piss him off and make him jealous so you can steal him back.”

I stood up. “Okay. How many times do I have to tell you I have no interest? I don’t know what he told you, but he’s the one who broke it off. So, I have no idea what you’re talking about. This is a pointless conversation.”

“Damn fucking right he broke it off. He should have done it so much sooner.”

I rubbed my forehead, my brain fuzzy and not comprehending how we’d even gotten here. “What?”

“He told me everything. How you never gave him any space. How you were so fucking clingy, he had to sneak out in order to see his friends. How you were so possessive and jealous he thought he wouldn’t ever get away from you, so he had to change the locks while you weren’t home.”

I blinked. “That’s what he told you?”

“It’s the truth. I was the one who had to throw away all your shit because he couldn’t trust you to come get it. So I see what you’re doing. You saw a chance to make him jealous, and you’re taking it.”

Suddenly I was tired. So fucking tired, and I wanted to be anywhere but here. “That’s not what happened, Angela. I didn’t bring them to make Beau jealous.”

“As if you could.”

“Are we done now?”

She tossed back what was left of her drink. “Not until you’re not in the wedding. Because like hell am I going to let Beau walk down the aisle with you. He doesn’t deserve that.”

I pulled out my phone, ready to call the guys to come get me, and she smacked it out of my hand. “What the fuck?!”

“Do you have any idea what you threw away, Isolde? You threw away the best man and the kindest person on the planet to slum it with men who can barely afford a proper suit. The shit they wore to your parents’ party was insulting, not to mention pawing at you in front of everyone like they were dogs in heat.” She lifted her hands into quotes. “‘Baby girl.’ Are you serious right now? Figures the only people you could manage to hold on to are addicts. Do you help them get their next fix? Is that why they stay?”

Something inside my brain snapped, and my whole body went still. “What did you just say?”

Angela puffed up her shoulders. “You heard me. You’re such a toxic bitch that the only guys you can attract are ones on drugs. You think I didn’t see you at the bonfire? Smoking god knows what? What dumpster did you scrape them out of? I want to know so I can make sure they know where to go home to once they’re free of you.”

I tossed what was left of my drink straight in her face. She sputtered, teetering backward on her heels. I felt like I’d turned to ice. Totally calm and smooth, with anger burning straight to the core of me.

“Insult them again. I dare you.”

Angela smiled, the move full of poison. “Trash you dragged in to make up for your personality, Isolde. You notice that no one in the bridal party talks to you? They don’t want you here. No one fucking wants you here except the shit clinging to your shoes you call a pack.”

The scream coming out of me was lost in the music. I lunged at Angela, taking her down to the floor. Dead. She was fucking dead. How dare she talk about them like she knew them?

It didn’t even matter, because she had this coming.

I hit her, and she laughed. “See? Can’t even take the truth.”

“It’s not the truth,” I shrieked, right as an arm came around my waist and hauled me away from her. “Let me go. Let me go.”

“I can’t do that, sweetheart.” Vaughn’s voice cut through the noise of the club, but not my anger. “You can’t do this.”

“Yes I fucking can. She insulted you, and she has it coming.”

Across from me, Angela got to her feet. Blood shone on her lip in the lights from the club. Good. Fucking bitch deserved it.

Suddenly I couldn’t see her, Rowan stepping into the space between us and lifting my face, checking me. “Ellie called us. We got here as fast as we could.”

I didn’t recognize my own voice, rage building beneath my skin. “Get out of the way, Rowan.”

“No.” Alpha power rolled through the single word. “Back down, Isolde.”

My Omega retreated in the face of his Alpha, anger giving way to grief and fear. Tears burned, and the lights blurred into a kaleidoscope in front of me.

A third voice reached me. Cade, speaking in my ear. “She’s drunk and so are you, princess. She probably doesn’t know half the things she’s saying, and even if she does, they’re not true. Let’s go home, okay?”

Ellie was suddenly there, and I felt so much worse. “I’m sorry, El.”

She raised an eyebrow. “I would have let you keep going, but I can’t have my maid of honor getting arrested. But for the record, you have my permission to beat her ass at any time.”

Across from me, Beau was there too, holding back Angela, who was still trying to get to me. His eyes were only on me and not on her at all. “Run away, bitch. Just proves what I’m saying. You’re an Omega so desperate for love you’ll do whatever it takes to keep people, no matter who you hurt in the process.”

“Let’s get out of here,” Hawk growled, taking my hand and keeping it. Vaughn’s arm was still around my waist, and they walked me out of the club under the watchful eyes of the bouncers.

What she said was true. At least that part of it. I was desperate for love, because I wanted it. Did that mean I hurt people? Was I holding onto these men too tightly because I didn’t want them to leave? Was I as toxic as she claimed?

Maybe there was something I hadn’t seen when Beau tried to kick me out. Was it me?

It echoed in my head.

Was it me?

Was it me?

We were back at the estate so quickly I barely remembered getting there. Still too buzzed, I let them get me into bed and dry the tears that didn’t seem to stop coming, no matter what I did.

They spoke softly, held me tenderly, but I couldn’t stop hearing those words and feeling them cut me open.

Was it me?