Chapter 9
Endless (Clarity Coast Omegaverse Book 1)
Beauâs smirk turned into a smug smile. âHello, Isolde. Good to see you.â
I straightened my spine. âHello, Beau.â
âYou remember Angela?â
I glanced down at the hand she had wrapped around his arm. The diamond on her finger glittered. âOf course.â
âItâs so wonderful to see you again,â she said, the words kind enough. But they werenât. We werenât friends, and never had been. Angela had never been a fan of mine while Beau and I were togetherâin the few times we interacted at allâand now I knew why. I couldnât even muster the energy to care. But I felt the eyes in the room turning toward us, hungry for a fight. An altercation. Any kind of gossip at all.
A cloud of sugar wrapped around me. Almost frosting. The softness of that first bite and the moan that came after. Hawkâs arms wrapped around my shoulders and chest, just like heâd done in the foyer earlier. His whole body pressed up against my back, offering me both solidity and heat.
He leaned down and pressed a kiss against my neck, drawing his lips up to my ear. âYou okay, baby girl?â
The words were soft enough that only the two of us, Beau, and Angela, could hear. It was a fucking good thing Trinity made me get that bra, because goosebumps raced across my entire body, tightening everything. I couldnât breathe deep enough to speak, overwhelmed by scent and sensation. When he kissed my hair I closed my eyes and leaned into it. Not because of Beau, but because it was impossible to do anything else.
Beau cleared his throat, and I felt Hawk grin. âSorry,â he said to Beau and Angela. âCanât seem to keep my hands off her.â
Beau stared at the two of us, and the look on his face made me want to smile. I held it back. Barely. He was furious. Though why he thought he had any right to be angry was beyond me.
Releasing me just enough to tuck me into his side, Hawk reached out a hand. âElliot Diaz. My friends call me Hawk.â
For a long second, Beau stared at the hand like it was an alien thing. Or a fish that had washed up on the beach. Finally, he shook Hawkâs hand. âBeau Jefferson. This is my fiancée, Angela.â
âGood to meet you both,â Hawk said. His fingers drew circles on my hip where his hand rested, and fuck it felt like the entire universe had narrowed to that single spot. I didnât want the dress between my skin and his fingers. I wanted to feel them on me.
âYouâre with him?â Angela asked me. Iâd been so distracted by Hawk that I hadnât noticed the shock on her face.
Hawk looked down at me, drawing me into his gaze. True intensity rested there. Dark fire so deep that I questioned everything. Were they really this good? Because the singular attention was doing⦠something to me, and it was a riptide. Pulling me along so quickly I didnât have time to swim or breathe. I knew the sensation well.
âShe is,â he said softly. âWell, my pack and I. Sheâs our Omega.â
My stomach tumbled into freefall.
For the briefest second I imagined it being real and pulled back. The vision was too perfect, and it would crack me to want it.
Nope.
No.
They deserved awards for their fucking acting.
But god, I wanted to be someoneâs Omega.
âYour pack?â Angela gaped.
Hawk ignored the way she asked, like the idea of me having a pack was so beyond the pale it was ridiculous. âYep. Over there.â
He nodded back toward the bar, where the other four congregated near the windows. Just like at the airport, they stood out. Mouthwatering eye candy. And since I was paying for the view, I would look at them.
âWell, Hawk,â Beau cleared his throat. âSinceâ ââ
âItâs Elliot.â
Beau blinked. âIâm sorry?â
âMy name. Itâs Elliot.â
I smothered the laughter bubbling up in my chest. A clear line in the sand. His friends called him Hawk, and Beau was not his friend.
âRight.â Beau seemed unsure, and I savored the look of confusion on his face, bitchy as it might be. No one ever stood up to Beau Jefferson. He charmed his way through life and assumed everyone would fall in line. I barely knew anything about the men who were with me, but I already knew they werenât the type to simply surrender.
âWell, like I was going to say, Iâm sure weâll see a lot of each other in the next couple of weeks, since Iâm in the wedding party.â
âYou will,â Hawk confirmed. âIf youâll excuse me, Isolde needs a new drink.â
He pulled me with him, walking me back across the party. Now that our backs were to Beau, I let my smile shine through. âThat was hysterical.â
âI donât like the way either of them looked at you.â
I shrugged. âNot unexpected. Just thankful for the rescue.â
Stopping before we reached the group, he turned me to him. âAny time, baby girl.â
My head tilted, disguising the same rolling chills moving over my skin. âBaby girl?â
âToo much?â Hawkâs eyes sparkled.
I didnât have an answer for that. âJust curious.â
âAbout?â
My mouth opened and closed. None of the questions flashing in my mind were things I could say out loud in a crowded room, no matter how quietly I asked them.
Hawk leaned in again. âIf youâre asking if I like to be called daddy, then the answer is no, not really. But that doesnât mean I donât like taking care of someone or giving them exactly what they need. No matter what that is.â
âI donât need to be taken care of.â
The softest growl. âDonât you?â
âNo.â But my voice held no conviction.
Smiling into my skin, Hawk kissed below my ear. âI donât believe you.â
âWhat about you?â I felt dizzy. Somehow I was clinging to the lapels of his jacket despite not remembering reaching for him. âWhat do you need? Is this something you like? Or just an act for your clients?â
âMmm.â The low sound vibrated through me. âI donât think youâre ready to talk about what I need, Isolde.â
âWhy not?â
âBecause you told us you didnât want anything to do with us. Or sex. Itâs purely the arrangement you want. So weâre here to take care of you and what you need. Donât worry about us.â
I couldnât explain why my heart dropped in my chest or why I suddenly felt the bitter tang of disappointment on my tongue.
âIâm⦠sorry.â
âWhy?â
âI donât know.â
Confusion swirled around me. I didnât want them to feel like that. They were already so good to me, I didnât want to feel like an asshole who only cared about herself, no matter if I was paying them to do this.
He straightened just enough to brush a kiss to my temple. My body leaned into him like I wasnât controlling it. âIf you donât want me to call you baby girl, I wonât, Isolde. I donât want to make you feel uncomfortable. Thought Iâd give it a try.â
One side of his mouth tipped up, and I caught a single moment of vulnerability in his eyes. There and gone in a flash.
âRemember, this is all about you.â
I reached out and took his hand. âI didnât say I donât want it. Iâ Iâm not used to that. Iâm not sure how I feel about it. Butâ¦â
âBut?â
âBut,â I swallowed and looked away. âI didnât hate it.â
âGood to know. Though Iâm not sure not hating something is good enough to keep using it.â
I looked up, getting caught in his gaze. âI⦠donât stop yet.â
Hawkâs smile slowly deepened, and he pulled me closer by our joined hands, dropping his lips to mine, kissing me far too briefly. âAll right,â he paused for another kiss. âBaby girl.â
My stomach tumbled into free fall. Not hating it was the barest truth. Everything in my mind and body loved it.
âOkay, okay,â Vaughn said, stepping into our space. âStop monopolizing our Omega.â
We both laughed, and Hawk tucked me against his side once more. âCanât help it. Sheâs too tempting.â
Vaughn focused on me. âYou okay after that?â
âYeah. I liked watching Elliot hand Beau his own ass on a platter.â
âAnd I will happily do it as many times as I can over the next three weeks.â
âLikewise,â Vaughn said.
I looked away, embarrassment welling up. âThank you.â
Rowanâs voice came from my immediate left. âOur pleasure.â
He was fucking quiet for someone so large. I jumped, and his hand smoothed down my spine. âSorry,â he whispered.
âYouâre so quiet.â I laughed. âMy mother would like all of us to join family breakfast tomorrow, if thatâs okay.â
âWhatever you need.â
The scent of the three of them so close was overwhelming, and I wasâ¦
Fuck me. Was I perfuming?
Cade appeared with my glass of wine. But it was new, based on how full it was and the cool condensation gathering on it. Ocean still stood near the windows. I needed to talk about some shit, and my best friends were the only ones I could do it with. âIâm going to talk to Ocean for a bit.â
I didnât let them answer. As soon as I was out of their sphere, I breathed out a sigh. This was such a bad fucking idea. I was in over my head, and I knew it.
âHey, O,â I whispered, stepping up beside her. âFeel like going for a walk?â
âGod, yes.â
Glancing around, I found Trinity talking to a rapt audience of three men. She smiled, telling some kind of story before she noticed me looking.
âWeâre going outside.â I mouthed the words and gestured between Ocean and myself. She nodded.
Ocean still had her drink in her hand, though it didnât seem like she actually wanted it. We walked down the wide stone steps over to one of the lawns that stretched out. I left my shoes at the edge of the grass, wanting to feel it on my feet.
âHow are you?â I asked. âReally.â The answer sheâd given me earlier didnât quite ring true.
âIâm okay.â
âIs that the real answer, or is that the one you think I want to hear?â
She smiled. âItâs real. Iâm⦠fine. Not great, not awful. But Iâm just here. Iâm glad that youâre back. Itâll be nice to have a second excuse to get out of the house. Not that youâre an excuse.â
âNo, I get it.â Other than her greenhouse, where she worked on breeding flowers, her office was in her house. Frankly, it was a miracle her family let her have a business at all, but since it was at home, they supposed she could do something with her time.
âSo why are you out here with me instead of inside with them?â
I sighed and tossed back half the wine. Great choice? Probably not. But at this point, I felt like I needed to have my edges softened. Not get so drunk I was sloppy, but my whole spine and body were wound tight around these men. âTheyâre too much, O.â
âHow so?â
âHave you seen them?â
She snickered. âYes. Youâre lucky.â
âAm I?â Confusion swirled through me again. âIt was so easy to say I wasnât going to fall into bed with them. But now that Iâm here, theyâre so fucking tempting, but I canât. And then they say things that make me thinkââ I blew out a breath. âThis has been the longest day in the history of the world. It feels like Iâve known them forever and not a few hours.â
âWhy canât you?â
Oceanâs words interrupted my thoughts. Iâd been so lost in them I was zoning out. âWhat?â
âYou said you canât. Why canât you?â
âWhat kind of hypocrite would I be if I did that? After what Beau said? Iâm not like him. I donât take advantage of people.â
We had wandered around on the grass in a circle, so I took the last sip of my drink and left the glass next to my shoes. Ocean left hers too.
âOf course youâre not like him. I donât see why that means you have to hold back.â
âOââ
âNo,â she said, her voice uncharacteristically firm. âBeau said what he said because heâs a fucking asshole. What kind of man talks about the woman heâs going to marry like that? He said it to hurt you, and you wonât convince me otherwise.
âThis?â She pointed to the house. âNothing about this is the same. Yeah, you paid them money. But youâre paying them for this. Youâre not paying them to clean your house and then asking them to fuck you, Iz.â
âButââ I pressed my hands to my stomach, fighting the swirling anxiety. âI donâtââ It was like I couldnât get a full sentence out. âItâs only three weeks. What happens when itâs over?â
âThen you had a good time for three weeks with five excruciatingly hot men who treat you better than your ex ever would have. I refuse to see how thatâs a bad thing. If itâs the fact that youâre paying them thatâs bothering you, Iâll pay for it.â
That made me snort with laughter. âYouâre not paying for my escorts.â
âI will if I have to. I have plenty of money, and you know I rarely get to use it. If you need this in order to let go and have some fun, tell me. Iâll send you the cost right now.â
I looked at her. There was no joking or hint of sarcasm on her face. âYouâre serious?â
âYes.â
âWhy?â
She sighed and crossed her arms. âI told you Iâm fine, and I am. But Iâm not blind, Iz. Youâre not happy. I know what that looks like.â
Going to drag my hands over my face, I stopped just short of ruining my makeup. âThey smell so good, O. Like so good. And I swear it feels natural with them. And thatâs terrifying.â
âWhy?â It was her turn to ask.
âBecause look at my track record. Beau asked me out, and within a month, I wasâ¦â I shook my head, frustrated at what now felt like the worst kind of naivete. âI was so head over heels for him. And then I spent four years only to be tossed aside. If I fell for him that fast, I canât know I wonât fall for them, and itâs not even real.â
Ocean smiled. âYou know itâs bad when I say the same thing as Trinity. But I think you should. Have some fun. Let yourself loose. Thereâs nothing wrong with this. And having Beau watch you get treated like a queen while heâs with his knock-off Isolde Barbie is the best revenge I can think of.â
Like I couldnât help it, I looked back at the house. Hawk watched me from one of the doors, leaning against the frame like he had no cares in the world. âO, the way they look at me feels real. How am I supposed to just let go and pretend we have something and then get over it?â
She shrugged. âSo let it be real. You have three weeks. Why the fuck not?â
My mouth opened and closed again. There were about a hundred different reasons I could list about why not. But they were all me. Every reason came down to me. I was scared. I didnât want to get hurt. I didnât know if I could handle their acting.
But could I?
All the thoughts which had snuck in todayâloving their scents, their kisses, Hawkâs hand on my hip, him calling me âbaby girlââI wanted it. Their actions and words felt effortless, and leaning into them felt effortless too.
âIâll think about it,â I finally said.
âGood.â
I would think about it. But the one thing still stopping me was the deepest fear: what if they showed me exactly how happy I could be?
Because either way, after Ellieâs wedding, I would once again be alone.