20. Trust Issues

*Luca POV*

"Papa, let me help!"

Nakoa asks as he pats my leg and I looked down, pausing from pouring the cupcakes into their molds to find my two year old sucking his thumb.

"You want to help baby?" I asked and he nodded, resting his chin on my knee as he stares up at me with those absolutely marvelous green eyes. I pick him up by his underarms and plop him down on the counter so I could finish the cupcakes.

The quads turn two today but we weren't doing anything big since they're still so small and don't have any friends other than each other. Instead, together Samantha and I had a fun dinosaur-themed day since that's what they've been into recently. Sam had to help me out with most of it since it was just me with all five kids.

Thomas and Matthias had originally taken the day off to be here but got called into an emergency public relations meeting after posting the video of us singing that cover on youtube a month ago caused a controversial firestorm. I never looked at the comments, but I knew that in this climate with everything going on...

They weren't good.

"Whatcha doin?" He asked, coughing a little as he spoke and I finished pouring the homemade cupcakes into their little dinosaur themed tins.

"I'm baking cupcakes for your birthday. You can eat them with your siblings after dinner," I told him as I brought them over to the oven.

"Koa not hungry," he sighed and I closed the oven. Checking the second oven briefly where the mac and cheese was baking alongside the dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets before turning back to my son who looked a little unwell.

He was usually a very calm little boy with a mild demeanor but today he was lagging behind Rumi and even Mika Ji when we were playing and I noticed him going into small coughing fits all day.

With Samantha and Jaydean outside guiding the babies through an excavation adventure, it was surprising to find him choosing to stay in here instead.

"You're not hungry? Are you feeling okay?" I asked him and he shook his head as a no while I pressed my hand to his forehead which felt hot to the touch.

"Oh baby, you're burning up. Here let me listen to you really quick," I suggested as I peeled up his little navy blue and green Koasaurus Rex shirt so I could listen to his soft caramel tinted chest.

"Well you're not wheezing so that's good," I told him, but I could hear his wet cough and knew it couldn't be good.

"My poor Koa, sick on his birthday. How old are you?" I asked him and he held up one finger.

"No silly, you're two fingers today," I pointed out, holding up two fingers and he giggled. I looked in the cabinet above him and pulled out some honey and Vicks vapor rub. Maybe after dinner, I'll steam up the bathroom and sit down with him for a bit to help him sleep. He yawned and slowly rubbed his eyes.

"Here, do you want to take a nap baby?" I offered and he shook his head. Instead, opting to hold out his arms to me, wanting me to pick him up and snuggle him. And of course, I did because I love snuggling all my little babies but Nakoa is the cuddliest. I picked him up and slowly rocked him while giving him a small spoonful of honey to soothe his cough for now.

I sat on the couch and watched a small baking show on Food network with Koa. We were waiting for the food and cupcakes to be done when the front door opened to Thomas' familiar footsteps.

"Hello?" Thomas peeked his head around the corner and I smiled.

"Hey love, come on over," I said quietly so I didn't disturb Nakoa too much as he clutched my chest and listen to my heart beating. Thomas kissed my cheek and ran his hands over my shoulder as he saw what we were doing.

"What are you guys doing inside? Matthias has already run off with the other little dinos," He points out and I nodded.

"Nakoa's not feeling good so he's just handing out with me while I prepared their dinner," I explained and Thomas gently kissed the top of Nakoa's cute little head of curls, the sides of his hair faded up so he looked four instead of two which I didn't appreciate.

Thomas stays quiet for a few moments and I could feel the tension in the air like he had a question he was hesitating from asking me. His thumbs run small circles on my shoulders as he leans against the back of the couch and sighs.

"Did you tell Matty yet?" He asked and I froze for a moment, turning back to him.

"Tell him about what?" I asked, hoping he was talking about anything other than what I thought he was talking about. Maybe he's asking if I told Matthias about dinner rather than my brutal past.

"You know what," Thomas mentions and I turned back to the TV.

"No, I'm waiting for the right time," I explain, watching Rachel Ray make a pancake.

"Luca, if you don't tell him soon...you know it's not going to end well is all," Thomas mentions and I shook my head.

"Oh yeah hon, let me just tell you the story of me before you and everything it involved. That's a tough topic to just spring on him Thomas," I explained but I could tell he wasn't having it.

"I'm not going to force you to tell him but he knows something is up. I'll just tell you that," Thomas says and stands up straight again while Nakoa coughs.

"I'm going to start putting the toddler beds together if you want to help me," He offers and I take it. Putting Nakoa down in the little reading nook in the corner of their nursery so he could take a nap.

"Security cameras are going in tomorrow by the way and did you give him anything? He seems to be coughing a lot," Thomas sighs as he leans over Nakoa and feels his forehead.

"Good to know and no, I only gave him some honey and figured I'll take a shower with him later and sit in the steam with him," I explained as I walked over to the four flat boxes containing four toddler beds with confusing Ikea like instructions.

"Oh dear god," I muttered under my breath as I saw what looked like a hundred parts and only seven steps for instructions.

"Fuck me," Thomas groans when he saw them over my shoulder and I wanted to give up before we ever started.

***

"So how was your meeting?"

I asked Matthias at dinner and he groaned loudly with pure annoyance.

"It was awful and dragged out for way too long. PR was just going nuts telling us we have to be careful about being a trio and shit you know so they're bringing in extra bodyguards before we get bodied. Just the usual stuff like that," Matthias mentions and I almost choked on my mac and cheese if that was possible.

"Matthias, being assassinated isn't the usual," I coughed out and took a sip of water, trying to clear my throat that had now gone dry with nervousness.

"This happens all the time hon, when we released our album with Milo's solo about being transgender they said the same exact thing," Thomas agrees but it didn't help this sinking feeling in my heart.

"Luca really, don't worry about it," Matthias tries to coax me into being at ease after I played around with my food for a bit. Losing my appetite at the thought of my husbands leaving to go to work in the studio and possibly never coming back.

"Papa why so sad?" Rumi asked and I looked up to find him and Nakoa were staring at me. Jaydean was so busy playing with Novalee and Mika Ji that what her fathers had said thankfully went right over her head.

"I'm not sad baby," I smiled and Rumi quickly took that as enough, continuing to eat his food while Nakoa looked more gloomy than anything and hadn't touched a single thing on his plate.

"Hey, I know you're not feeling good but eating just a little bit will make you feel better," I explained to him and he poked his dino chicken nugget with a fork picking it up and giggling.

"Roar!" He squealed before coughing again and going back to his gloom.

"Aish poor baby," Matthias sighed and I anxiously ran my hands through my hair because if one baby was sick it was most likely going to spread to all of them.

"I know, he's been feeling down all day," I told him and he tickled Nakoa's chin, getting a small smile out of him.

"Damn, I hate when they're sick. He's usually so happy," Thomas says just as Matthias' phone rings. He stops toying with our son and looks down.

"I'll be back, work is calling," He says and excuses himself from the table, taking a step into the other room.

"You know Mika and Pierce were really sweet to give them these little shirts. They're so cute," Thomas says to try to distract me from the stressful topic at hand. Each of the quads and Jaydean's shirt was a different color with their names and a dinosaur on it. From my Rumisaurus, Mikasaurus, Koasaurus, Novasaurus, and Jaydasaurus rexes all lined up in a row with a t-rex on them.

Of course, they were cute until the little monsters ruined them with their mac and cheese getting in places I never thought possible. I mean Rumi had a noodle on top of his nose for god's sake.

"I missed you guys all day," Thomas says as he speaks through the empty space between us and I gulped.

"I missed you guys too...I missed you like crazy and it wasn't even for the full nine plus hours you guys usually put in," I said taking one last bite before I decided I definitely wasn't hungry now.

"I know. I was okay but Matty was having a really hard time and was worried about you. We're going to try to leave earlier in the morning so we can get more work done and come home for dinner at least," He says and I knew it would be hard on them with their commute being an hour just to get there.

I nodded in response, not really wanting to talk or think about it. They had been inseparable for two years straight and this was a major change that he just had to learn how to be accustomed to.

"Well, I've been called away on a business trip on Monday. An old friend of mine wants to film a music video with me in Puerto Rico, I just have to send him my side of the track for the song and meet him there for the three days of filming," Matthias explains as he comes back to his spot next to me but Thomas and I both give him the look.

"Is it a friend or a friend?" I asked for both of us and Matthias shook his head.

"Christ guys, he's the first one. I don't know what the fuck the second one was about," He mutters and I lightly smack his shoulder with the back of my hand.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about," I growl and Thomas crosses his arms.

"You seem to have a lot of friends around the world and I already don't like the thought of you going alone," Thomas pushes it a step further and Matthias pauses.

"You guys don't trust me, I get it. But I'm not a horny teenager anymore. I'm twenty-four, I have five kids, and two beautiful husbands that satisfy all my wants, needs, and desires. I'm not going to cheat on you, we closed the trio a while ago." He tries to reassure us and although I believed him to some degree...

I wouldn't say I trusted him completely.