Chapter 11: Furrowed brows and a Stronger Reslove

Chapter 11

~Lucas’s POV~

The silence was deafening.

I kept glancing at him from the corner of my eye as he prepared for bed and not once did he look at me and we uttered not one word to each other. I found myself wishing for even the faintest sound to echo though the large guest house.

Maybe a laugh from Scottie whose room  was right next to ours or a growl from Marcus who had yet to come back since he left hours before. Anything to dispel the silence that was piercing my eardrums, but nothing offered relief.

I was naked from the waist up and my flimsy boxer shorts did nothing to shield me from the chill that swept through the room. The floor boards creaked under my feet as I made my way over to the bed.

I wrapped the thick blanket around me and was instantly enveloped in its warmth and when I was settled, I turned my head to stare at my silent lover. He stood by the window, looking out into the darkness below, completely unmoving. The only indication that he was even breathing was the gentle rise and fall of his bare chest.

“Aren’t you cold?” I asked, taking a chance at forming the conversation we hadn’t gotten around to as the day had dragged by.

He shrugged in response, his eyes still firmly fixed away from me.

There was this feeling I used to get when I was younger, whenever I was trying my hardest not to cry after being scolded. The feeling as if some unknown force creating a vise over my heart and squeezing then squeezing some more. I always hated that feeling and that’s exactly how I felt as I watched Adrian. I had hurt him with my accusations and my hasty decision to call it quits and I knew that now.

I sat up in bed, not caring that the blanket had slid from my shoulders and the cold was once again seeping into my skin.

“Are you coming to bed?” I questioned and I flinched at how small and uncertain my voice sounded in the silence. I had no idea what he was thinking as he stood there and a few minutes passed before he even bothered to answer, but when he did  it wasn’t exactly what I expected to hear.

“How did it feel seeing him again?” He asked quietly, his body still angled away from me but I could feel the tension pooling off him as he stood there. I didn’t try to pretend I didn’t know who he was talking about. The time for games had long passed.

“I haven’t seen him yet. He’s grounded.” I replied equally soft but the stiffness didn’t leave his body.

Two days ago I had been ready to end it all, to throw away everything we had because he’d been indirectly responsible for Thomas’s injuries. I’d spent months trying to convince him to do this and do that. To change for me, to alter his entire world just to accommodate my needs and the one thing he ever asked of me I couldn’t give him.

It took me this very moment as I watched my lover in pain to realize how selfish I’d been. To realize how much of a toll my pining over Laken had taken on him and through it all he’d still stuck by me, hoping that one day I’d only see him.

I could see the sadness in his eyes from my seat on the bed and I was ashamed. My problem was that I thought of him as the big bad drug lord; the man who could feel no pain. For some reason I had created a picture of him in my mind; a picture that portrayed him as indestructible and I had treated him as such.

I hadn’t cared if I’d upset him, I hadn’t cared that he’d loved me and for whatever reason, I understood it all now. Everything came crashing down on me on this night. Maybe it was the stillness of it all, the tranquility, maybe it was my own happy thoughts of this place that led me to really evaluate myself and the role I’d played in our relationship, I really didn’t know.

But as I watched him suffering in silence I understood, and I had a feeling that if it had taken me any longer to gain this understanding it would have meant the ultimate downfall of our already shaky relationship.

I pushed the blanket away from me and got out of bed, padding over to him. He visibly tensed at my approach but I didn’t let it stop me. His skin was cold to the touch and I slid my arms around his chest offering whatever warmth I could give and as he looked out at the night, my chest pressed firmly to his back, I dropped a kiss on his shoulder and felt him shiver.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered and it was only then that I felt him begin to relax against me. He dropped his forehead against the window pane and released a pent up breath.

“I love you.” I said then. The first time I had ever told him and I felt him stiffen once more in my arms.

“Lucas…” he whispered in a tortured voice.

“I’ll forget about him, I swear I will.” I said firmly. He didn’t reply and I knew he didn’t believe me.

I was serious though. It was time I let Laken go and seeing him tomorrow would be the first step toward achieving my resolve.

………………………………….

~Adrian’s POV~

I shouldn’t be here.

This journey could only have two possibly endings. Lucas would either walk away from me forever or he’d realize he loved me enough to let his past go. I had my heart rooting for the latter but something told me the outcome would be disastrous for me.

I hadn’t travelled this far to harm the kid despite what Lucas probably thought. No. I just wanted it to end. I needed him to make his choice because I was just about worn from hurting so much.

To watch your lover pine for a heart that wasn’t yours was torture. I wouldn’t lie and say I wasn’t scared out of my mind of what their meeting would bring because I was. Everything in me screamed at the thought of him making his choice but I would endure it and with or without him I would move on.

I felt the hope flare up inside me as he promised to put Laken from his mind even though I didn’t believe it for a second. God knows I wanted to though. I wanted it so badly I could taste it. I hadn’t known that love would alter me to such an extent. That it would capture my mind and body as well as my heart. If I’d known about love’s destructive force I would have stayed far away from it.

Sometimes I felt as if a simple request from him would do me in and it very well might. Sometimes I felt that if he asked me to give up everything I would and I think it was shear stubbornness that had me refusing his requests every time.

If he even managed to walk away from Laken our problems still wouldn’t be solved because it was plain as day how much he wanted me out of this business and I knew that if one day he asked and I refused that would be it for us.The thought practically broke my heart and I turned, wrapping my arms around him, pulling him tightly against me still as if I could draw his very essence into my own body.

God I loved him. Love. The ultimate punishment for all the crimes I’d committed against humanity yet if I had a choice I’d still choose him, I’d still choose this.

…………………………………………….

~Lucas’s POV~

The morning brought with it the warmth and tranquility of another day, flushing out the remnants of the night before. I shifted under his weight, burrowing deeper into the comfort of his arms then smiled when he groaned and pulled away.

Last night’s revelations had me in a good mood. Just the thought of finally being free from Laken’s hold over me had  my spirits soaring, and while I knew that that freedom wouldn’t be easy to come by, just the simple thought that I was on track made me a happier man.

“Stop moving.” Adrian said, his voice muffled by the pillow and when I pressed up against him again he groaned inching even further away.

One thing about my lover was, morning cuddles was not his idea of fun. Morning sex? No problem but dare I lay a hand on him this early without the warmth of good coffee in his system and he became a grumpy bastard. I liked it.

“I think we’re the only ones still in bed.” I finally spoke, sitting up in the bed with a yawn.

“Umhmm.” Was my only reply.

“Come one Adrian, it’s already 12:00pm.” I lied in an attempt to get him to wake up. The clock resting on the bedside table told me it was half past nine. My bed mate still didn’t budge.

“Don’t you want to fuck me before we have to go down?” I hedged and I wasn’t surprised when his eyes shot open. The little tramp.

I laughed and when he shifted on the bed, reaching for me, I slid from his grasp to land quietly on the floor.

“Come on, I want to go see what I’m been missing around here.” I told him while I stripped out of my boxers, intent on grabbing a quick shower. When I looked around again, he was lying on his back, watching me in that silent thoughtful way he always did and I felt my skin flush in anticipation.

“Come back to bed.” He said simply but there was no mistaking the heat in his eyes and I shook my head moving further away from his grasp. If we started now, we’d be in bed all day and I was in the mood to get reacquainted with the camp I hadn’t seen in almost a year. So I padded into the bathroom and closed the door firmly behind me. Five minutes later as I stood under the cold spray of the shower he stepped in behind me. It was an hour before we finally made it downstairs.

……………………………………………

Marcus didn’t look up when we entered the kitchen, he seemed completely focused on the newspaper he had spread out in front of him. I had no idea what time he’d gotten back last night but I knew better than to ask him. After all he still hated my guts, maybe even more so now that he’d been forced to sleep in a wolf camp.

Scottie, as expected was vibrant and welcoming when he saw us. Sometimes it amazed me that we were the same age. I was never that innocent.

“The wolves are gathering, I saw a group of them running down the street earlier and every now and then a few more pass by, I wonder what’s going on.” He said, sounding more excited than anything else.

I grabbed an abandoned piece of toast off his plate as I passed by him and took the fresh cup of coffee Adrian handed to me before I planted myself into the counter stool across from Marcus.

“They’re probably hunting today.” I explained before biting into the buttery treat.

“I’ve never seen a wolf hunt; do you think we’d be welcome to take part?” Scottie questioned, pushing his still full plate of food towards me.

“You want to eat wild animals?” Marcus questioned his brother in a bored tone and a moment later Adrian was seated beside me, helping me eat what was left of Scottie’s breakfast.

“Why not? I can get in tune with my inner wolf.” Scottie teased but Marcus didn’t even crack a smile. He didn’t want to be here and it was apparent in every breath he took.

“For the most part they’re a friendly group, they won’t mind if we tag along.” I told him.

“But if we want to leave out with the others we’ll have to go early.” I finished.

“You’re going?” Adrian asked me when I gulped down the rest of my coffee and stood.

“Yeah I used to hunt with them back when I lived here. It’s fun to run alongside them.” I told him, grinning as my mind brought me back to the good old days.

“Alright, let’s go.” Adrian spoke up and before long we were all walking down the street towards the courtyard, Marcus as usual bringing up the rear.

…………………………….

It wasn’t until thirty minutes later that most of the pack was gathered in the courtyard. Carson had already given his routine address and a good number of wolves had already run off into the forest. Others were either waiting for other members to show up or just wanted to spend the day chilling on the courtyard.

“It’s crazy how many wolves are out here. Damn.” Scottie enthused and I laughed.

“It’s one of the largest packs in the state, what’d you expect?”

Adrian had his arm draped over my shoulders and I leaned into him as we stood watching little groups here and there shift down to size and bolt into the forest not far away. The courtyard was teeming with excitement. I’d missed this for sure.

Children who were too young for the hunt played in the courtyard under the supervision of  some of the elderly wolves. Their laughter was contagious and I found myself laughing at their antics.

“Marcus, why don’t you put down the phone for a while, enjoy this.” Adrian said smiling and gesturing to the various activities taking place around us.

His phone had been plastered to his ear ever since we got here. He claimed he had to deal with business back home.

“Rivers over here!” Scottie was shouting over a few heads and Marcus pulled the phone from his ear in annoyance, putting his hand over the mouth piece.

“I’m going somewhere quiet to take this.” He told Adrian and a second later he had to phone at his ears once more as he walked away from us, shouting over the noise as he tried to be heard by the person on the other end.

“Aren’t you going to hunt?” Scottie asked the moment Rivers finally caught up with us. He was dressed casually, his hair coiffed perfectly and his fingers looking fresh from a manicure.

“Hey Rivers.” I greeted and my brows furrowed when he didn’t answer. He was staring intently past me, toward the path Marcus had just taken, his own brows furrowed and his face flushed.

“Rivers?” No answer.

“Rivers!” Scottie finally shouted grabbing the small man’s attention. I watched in concern as he seemed to tear his gaze away from whatever he was searching for and looked at us.

“You okay man?” Scottie questioned, dropping a hand on his shoulder.

“Yeah I just thought I…” he cleared his throat, glancing past me again briefly and then up at Scottie once more. “ It’s… nothing, never mind. I’m fine. So what’s up darlings?” He said, immediately going back to his normal cheerful self.

I raised an eyebrow in askance but he didn’t seem to notice.

“Just thought we’d come out here and see what’s going on, are you going to hunt?” Scottie asked him and Rivers shook his head, holding up his hands to show us his neatly trimmed nails.

“No sweetie, I’m sitting this one out. I think I want to go down to the lake.” He said, “You guys wanna join me?” He was asking but my mind and eyes weren’t on him.

Instead, I was looking past him at the two guys making their way over to us. My heart jumped in my chest and a smile broke out on my face as I watched their approach.

“Oh it looks like Laken’s finally out.” Rivers commented when he turned and spotted the two.

Laken was here. Adrian tensed beside me.

AUTHOR'S NOTES

THIS CHAPTER WASN'T WELL WRITTEN, MY APOLOGIES GUYS, I RUSHED IT, BUT I'M TOO TIRED TO REWRITE SO IT'LL JUST HAVE TO DO.

THANKS FOR READING!

GONNA GO READ ME SOME MANXMAN ROMANCE ^_^...LATER GUYS <3

-DoUbLe.A

-unedited.