Knot Your Damn Omega: Chapter 22

There was a truck in front of the house, and a veritable army of people moving things inside. All the stuff I’d picked.

“That was fast.”

“Mr. Syme felt… particularly motivated to make a good impression after Ben talked to him. And Luke called Addison to coordinate the rest.”

“Is she here?”

Avery shook his head. “No. But I’m sure you’ll see her soon. She likes you.”

I liked her, too. But Ben’s sister wasn’t the thing weighing most on my mind. “Do I have to tell the others? About what we talked about?”

“I think it’s important for them to know.” Avery took my hand and made sure I didn’t get hit in the head with one of my new bedposts. “But if you want me to tell them the basics so you don’t have to, I can, with your permission. No one is going to think less of you.”

Something in my chest eased. I didn’t think I could look at all of them and go through the memories again. Especially since I already knew they’d be upset for me. “Yeah, that’s fine with me.”

They were in the kitchen, and Rylan was face deep in one of my cupcakes.

“What do you guys want for dinner?” I pulled out my phone. “Ben promised me I could buy it since I’m sure you just spent a fucking fortune on me.” Kade opened his mouth and I pointed at him. “Nope. I’m doing it.”

He smirked. “I suppose I’ll let you get away with it. Once, Omega.”

The way his voice rasped over the word Omega had chills running over my skin.

“How do you feel about Thai?”

“I theel gooth aboud it,” Rylan managed, the last of the cupcake in his mouth. Luke rolled his eyes, and I saw him kick Rylan in the leg.

They all agreed, so I pulled up the app for my favorite Thai place in the city. Pad Thai had been on my mind for days, and I desperately needed some.

A man stepped into the doorway. “It’s all unloaded. We’ll be back tomorrow with Miss Gray for the rest of it.”

“Thanks.” Ben lifted a hand.

I kept adding food to the cart. “Do I even dare ask what ‘the rest of it’ means?”

“Oh, they’re going to paint the room tomorrow,” Luke said. “We need to go back to the studio. Do you have any plans?”

“No.” I shook my head. It was the weekend, but that was when tattoo studios were the busiest. It was right that they needed to get back. “But I’ll probably go to my house and catch up on paints. The heat set me behind schedule. I’ve been ignoring the notifications.”

I’d been posting on the Elyse Taylor paint account nearly every day for years. People were asking if I was okay, and I hadn’t wanted to dive into everything. But I did have to get back to some kind of real life. “Am I sleeping in the nest? Since the bed isn’t ready?”

“If you want to. You can sleep wherever you want. But if you’re in the nest,” Rylan said, “I’ll be in there with you.”

None of them contradicted him. Especially since they would all likely do the same. I wasn’t going to argue. I’d always hated sleeping alone.

I pressed order on the food. “Okay. A literal mountain of Thai food is on the way.”

Ben crossed his arms and leaned on the kitchen island. “Happy?”

“Very. If I’m a part of this pack, I fully expect to pay for some things.”

Someone grumbled, but I couldn’t pinpoint who it was.

Avery stepped closer. “They put all the bags of lingerie in your bathroom. I’d like you to try it on.”

All the blood drained from my face. “Now?”

“Right now. I’ll talk to them about our conversation, and when you’re ready, you come down.”

Terror built in my chest—all the fear I didn’t know what to do with.

“Give us a chance to change that image in your head, baby girl. Please.”

I closed my eyes. It was a choice I had to make. I either trusted them enough to show them all of me, or I needed to walk away. Because I couldn’t be a part of a pack that wouldn’t accept every piece of me, and they didn’t want any walls between us. “Okay.”

He smiled. “Good girl. We’ll be in the living room.”

They didn’t start talking until I was halfway up the stairs, and I was glad I couldn’t hear what they were saying.

There were way too many bags in the bathroom. All filled with lacy fabric and crisp tissue paper sticking out of the top. I peeked into the main room, but it was a mess of boxes and unassembled furniture all clustered in the middle so the walls could still be accessed.

Okay. You can do this.

I splashed cool water on my face and took my hair out of my ponytail. Fast. I needed to do this fast or I would lose my nerve.

Digging through the bags, and doing my best not to spoil the surprise of the other things they bought, I finally found it. The tags on it were gone. Those sneaky bastards. I was sure all the tags were already gone so I couldn’t see the prices.

I undressed and tossed my clothes on the sink before lifting the dress and bringing it over my head.

The blue silk fell around me in a smooth, satiny wave. The pearls were cool on my skin and rolled into place smoothly. In the mirror, I blushed. It was so pretty. The softness on my bare skin and the way my hair fell around my face, I looked beautiful.

It wasn’t a thought I had often. Not because I had any illusions about what I looked like, but because of what I’d talked about with Avery. I rarely, if ever, wore what I really wanted. Even the night I met Ben, it had been a dress of Eva’s. It looked great on me, but it wasn’t what I would have chosen for myself.

Running my hands down the fabric, I loved all of it, but the thought of going downstairs was still like walking straight into my funeral. There wasn’t a way to conquer this fear without facing it. And yet, I wanted to stay locked in here forever, just me in the dress. If I was by myself, there was no one to laugh at me.

My stomach flipped with nerves. Someone would come looking for me when I didn’t come down. By now Avery would have told them enough. I didn’t want them to suddenly feel like they had to walk on eggshells around me because I was afraid of them. I wasn’t afraid of them. It was the cruelty of my own mind.

I hated that I was so fucking broken I couldn’t even walk into a room with a pack who was on my side without ending up a mess. It was that thought which finally drove me from the room and down the stairs.

The dress had a train on it, dragging behind me down the stairs, and for a brief, fleeting moment, I felt like I was in a different time, descending the stairs to a ball filled with suitors waiting for me.

In the living room the television was on, low in the background while they talked. What was I going to do, sweep in there and yell ‘ta-da’? I stopped just outside the door, terror sinking through me all over again. Under my skin, the urge to run was building. My entire body shook.

Conversation stopped in the room.

Luke’s voice. “Esme?”

I didn’t answer him.

“We can scent you, sweetheart. Are you going to come out?”

“No,” I mumbled. But I took a deep breath, curled my hands into fists, and walked out into view. My spine was so straight it could snap.

They were all staring at me, and no one spoke. All the air was gone. There was nothing to breathe, and they were still in complete silence. I couldn’t stay here, not while they stared and decided what they thought of this version of me.

I turned and took one step.

“No you don’t,” Kade’s voice froze me in my tracks, all Alpha bark. He was already halfway across the room to me, eyes roving over me and this confection of a dress.

He took me in his arms, purring while one hand wove solidly into my hair to make sure I didn’t look away. “If anyone, anyone, makes you feel like you’re less because you want to wear something that makes you feel beautiful, they’ll have to deal with me.”

I shuddered, blinking back tears of relief.

“There’s nothing funny about this. You are stunning. That’s the reason we didn’t say anything, because there are no words for how beautiful you look.”

There was no holding back the tears now. They came even though I didn’t want them to. The fear in my gut was finally starting to ease. One moment wouldn’t make it go away, but they hadn’t laughed at me. They still wanted me. It felt foolish to need to know that, but I did.

Kade leaned in, voice a deep growl in contrast to the sensual purr coming from him. “I’m going to kiss you now, and I want you to tell me you understand I’m kissing you for you. Not because of a dress, even if you look like a goddamn queen. Not because of anyone else. I’m kissing you because I want you, Esme Williams.” His voice lowered even further. “You’re my Omega.”

“I understand.” The words were barely understandable through my tears, but I did, and I believed him.

Kade’s mouth crashed down on mine, arms hauling me even tighter against his chest. The heat of his hands sank through the silk of the dress, and he touched me everywhere. His mouth moved to my neck where he breathed in my scent.

He didn’t let me go, pulling me to the couch and settling me beside him. Ben was on my other side, and an anonymous hand held out a tissue. “I’m sorry,” I said quietly.

“Why?” It was Rylan’s voice. “It’s a real question.”

“Because it feels like a silly thing to be afraid of.”

Ben took one of my hands. “We’re not born with fears. Fear comes because we learn it. Because something forced it into us and taught our minds it wasn’t safe, even if we’re not fully conscious of it. There are no silly fears.”

Curling into Kade’s chest, I laid my head where I could hear the now softer sound of his purr. “I can’t promise it will be easy. I’ve had… a lot of practice being terrified.”

“But you still did it,” Luke pointed out. “That’s all that matters.”

Avery had the remote. “I’d originally planned to barrage you with first date questions, but I think tonight calls for something more low-key. How do you feel about soccer?”

I raised an eyebrow. “I feel like if you guys aren’t fans of the Slate City Scoundrels, this will be a difficult courtship.”

Luke sipped the beer in his hand. “I knew I liked her for a reason. We’re all fans, but Ry practically has a shrine in his room.”

“We’ve been through this. It is a signed jersey, not a shrine.”

Avery chuckled. “Whatever you say.”

The game turned on, and we were down by a goal. Not great, but the team had come back from worse odds. But while I watched, soccer wasn’t the thing filling my thoughts.

I was sitting here with a pack who wanted me—who was doing everything in their power to treasure me—in a frothy dress I couldn’t wear anywhere else. It was perfect.

“What are you thinking, baby?” Kade’s voice was a whisper only I could hear.

“Why?”

“Because my Omega just sighed and snuggled down like I’m a nest.”

I hadn’t even realized, but I was snuggled as close as I could be. Closer than was reasonable, and I didn’t care. “I’m just happy.”

His smile warmed my forehead. “I’m glad.”

The doorbell rang for the food, and Avery went to get it. The Thai was delicious, and I managed not to spill anything on the nightgown. That would have been a tragedy.

Unfortunately, the Scoundrels lost, but it didn’t feel that way. Not between the food and conversation and the endless rotation of arms holding me. Tomorrow, I needed to call Eva. She hadn’t heard from me since the heat started, and I had questions. Besides—

Oh.

“Has anyone looked at anything online? I haven’t had my phone since I ordered the food. Are they there?”

Ben nodded. “They are. So far it’s nothing bad. The photos are innocent. You, Kade, and Rylan. Then you and Avery cuddling after we left. The two of you getting into the cab to come home. They could try to make something out of the second photo, I guess, but it’s honestly a nice picture.”

I swallowed. We knew it was going to happen, but that didn’t make it easier. “Do they know who you are?”

“Yes.”

Wincing, I sat up straight. “They’ll probably be at the studio tomorrow. I’m sorry.”

“Like we said, Esme,” Kade ran a hand through his hair. “We didn’t go into this blind. We knew exactly who you were and what came with it. But while we’re at the studio, if you go home or anywhere else, do us a favor and call Wes or one of the other security guards? They’re going to be looking for you more than they’re looking for us.”

I sighed, but nodded. It was a good idea.

“Are the headlines okay?”

Ben shrugged. “Average. Not all of them are flattering, but they don’t know anything more than they saw us all together at a department store. There’s only so much they can make out of those details.”

“What if they’re here tomorrow morning? You don’t have a gate. They’ll be hounding you and trying to see into the windows. Oh, god, I didn’t even think about that. All your privacy will be gone. I—”

In the middle of my words, Luke crossed to me and knelt in front of the couch. His eyes had the quiet power in them I now recognized. “Take a breath, Omega.”

I did.

“Another one.”

Yes.

“Now, is it your fault if paparazzi show up on our doorstep?”

“I know you want me to say no, but of course it is.”

“Why?” He asked. “Are you going to call them?”

I huffed out a breath in frustration. “The five of you are so fucking reasonable.”

Luke was still trying to be serious, but an amused smile tugged at his lips. “Esme, we’ll deal with the press. If we have to put up a fence, then we’ll put up a fence. But someone trying to take my picture is not enough to stop me from wanting to court you. And anyone who thought that, in my opinion, is a punk-ass little bitch.”

Rylan snorted, nearly choking on his drink. “Is that you trying to use hip language? Because if it is, we need to revisit your training, old man.”

I burst out laughing, and everyone else followed, even Luke. Though he wasn’t even close to being old. He was still looking at me. “Have any of the headlines about you ever been true?”

“No.”

“So why does it matter?”

My hands began to fidget. “It’s such an inconvenience.”

Luke shrugged. “An inconvenience which can be solved with a solid pair of sunglasses and making sure we post a sign in the studio window not allowing any press. Hell, we’ll even spring for a ‘no trespassing’ sign in the driveway. Then we can have them thrown off the property anytime we like.”

“Basically,” I said. “It doesn’t matter what kind of chaos I bring into your life, you’re going to pretend it doesn’t mean anything?”

“Not pretend,” he said with a smile. “It really doesn’t mean anything. But I’m glad you’re getting the idea.”

Standing, he pulled me with him. “Now, I think it’s time the Omega got some sleep, and maybe a distraction or two.”

I’d never seen a room clear so fast. The food was put away, the TV and lights off in less than a minute, with them guiding me back up to the nest.

I tripped over the long skirt of the gown, and Avery caught me. We were a little behind the rest of them now. “I’m proud of you,” he said. “For earlier.”

“Thanks.”

“All you have to do is be here, baby girl. It might be hard sometimes, but we’ve got you. And we’ll do whatever we have to in order to prove it.”

The same contentment and happiness rested in my chest. I didn’t have any lingering doubts. They were telling me what they wanted, and for the first time, I believed it.