Knot Your Damn Omega: Chapter 30

I watched Esme’s perfect ass walk out of my door and adjusted myself in my pants.

“You owe me one,” I said.

“You’re right, I do. Will you be my backup?”

Looking over at him, I gauged what he was asking for. “If you’re worried about something, don’t do it.”

He shook his head. “I’m not worried about that part. It’s just a safeguard in case something happens I haven’t thought of.”

“Sure.” I could sketch in the car as easily as I could sitting here. “Have you ever done this before?”

“Not like this. And I’m glad. I want the first time with her. It feels… it feels right.”

“Everything with her feels right,” I said. “If she doesn’t—”

I couldn’t bring myself to say the words. She was ours, and we were hers. There was no questioning it, and I was sure by now she knew it, too. But the world had been cruel to our Omega, and chipping away at fears took time. But I already knew if she walked away, it wasn’t something I’d recover from.

“I know.” Kade stood and grabbed the dart guns. All three of them now on the couch. “Hey, did Ben talk to you about the producer thing?”

“Yeah. Sounds like we have to wait until Eva gets back into town.”

“All right. Sounds like it could be cool.”

I agreed. It would be cool. When we were at Esme’s house picking her up for the heat, Eva had shot out an idea. She wanted a piece from Ben and was practically salivating to change her image from the wholesome one she had into something edgier. She pitched the idea of a show following celebrities getting tattoos from us. Or just a show about the studio in general.

It wasn’t a fully formed idea, but it was something they wanted to talk about.

Nautilus was already well known, but having something like that connected to the studio would only benefit us. I had only one hesitation. “If it makes things harder for Esme, I don’t want to do it.”

“Yeah,” Kade nodded, looking more than a little ridiculous with the pile of nerf guns in his arms. “She knows, right?”

“Ben said Eva told her, and she walked into the kitchen when they were talking about it, but I’ll make sure.”

He took the guns and went downstairs. To put them in the game room where they belonged, no doubt.

I flipped my pad closed and went across the hall. Esme’s door was open, and she was in her closet changing. Nothing but leggings and a bra at the moment, and I took her in. It was more than just her scent I was falling in love with, it was her.

These instincts we had weren’t always easy. I didn’t know anyone who found scent-sympathy the way we had where it hadn’t worked out—if you defined working out as being a pack—but happiness wasn’t a guarantee. I knew it well. All I wanted was for Esme to be as happy with us as we were with her, and I thought she was getting there, but I still craved the assurance more than anything. “Can I come in?”

She glanced over at me and smiled. “Of course.”

“Did Eva mention to you she had an idea for a tv show involving the studio?”

Esme frowned. “I think she did. What’s going on?”

I sat on the edge of her bed. “Nothing yet. I just wanted to make sure you knew in case it was mentioned.”

“Eva’s already meeting with Ben about a tattoo. I know that much.”

“This might be part of that. A way for her to break out of the image she has.”

Esme laughed. “Yeah, she does want a change. Both of our lives would be easier if we could just switch our public perception.”

Tossing on an oversize t-shirt, she came over to me, and I loved the sight of her so comfortable. She might not even realize she was doing it, but she was making herself at home. “Rylan told me how you guys found each other last night.”

“I got lucky.”

“Yeah.”

I leaned back, lying down, and she followed, curling on her side toward me. Unable to help myself, I tucked a strand of her air behind her ear like the last time we’d lain like this, when she was in pain and trying to send us away.

“All of us are happy you’re here. You know that, right?”

She nodded slowly. “I’m happy I’m here too.”

“Even when I give you up to Kade?”

“Even then.” The way she bit her lip made me want to taste it. “I’m still curious about how you found them. I know you went in for an interview, but before that?”

Settling my hand over her hip, I moved us closer together. “That’s not really a happy story, sweetheart.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for. The short version is, I didn’t come from the same world you do. Or Ben and Rylan. Kade’s a little closer. Avery is somewhere in between.”

Slate City was a sprawling metropolis, and like any city, there were the glittering parts which shone in the sun, and the depths that lived in shadow. Where people were just scraping to get by and were lucky if they could break out.

I was one of the lucky ones. Luck, and putting everything into my art, because I knew it would save me. “I’ve been tattooing since I was twelve,” I said quietly. “Where I come from it’s really the only art that means anything, and certainly the only one you could learn. If I’d tried to go to art school, I would have been jumped for saying it out loud, let alone try to find a way to pay for it. But I knew I could find a way out with tattoos.”

“You don’t have any,” she pointed out.

“No. Back then, I didn’t want tattoos to be a barrier against the world I wanted to reach. Now I just haven’t found the right tattoo yet.”

“Oh.” Esme reached out and smoothed the crease between my eyes with her fingers. “I’m sorry you went through that.”

“I’m not. What would the point be? It’s my life. If I’d had a different one, I wouldn’t be who I am now. Just like if you’d lived a different life you might not be here next to me.”

I caught the slight widening of her eyes—the realization all of the pain and fear she kept locked up inside her had a purpose, even if it didn’t feel like it.

“Would you ever get one now?” She asked. “A tattoo. Nothing could be a barrier for you now.”

“I might,” I said. “It would have to be the right one.”

I already knew what the right one would be, but I didn’t want to tell her yet.

“Maybe I’ll get one,” she said softly. She was examining the shimmering comforter, dragging a finger across it. “I’ve always been nervous about it.”

“When you know, you’ll be sure.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

That finger pushed deeper into the fabric. “How do you know?”

“Because I’ve been doing this a long time.” We weren’t only talking about tattoos now. “And I can’t count the number of times someone has come in and said they’d been going back and forth, but when they knew, they knew. And after, they always say they’d known for a long time, and they wished they’d done it sooner.”

Her eyes lifted to mine, filled with hope.

“Come here, sweetheart.”

She curled closer, and I slid an arm underneath her. Having her this close satisfied me both as an Alpha and as a man. Her scent was so sweet now, the lilacs overlaying the sweetness of her tea, which turned darker and more bitter if she was afraid or sad. Right now she was all sugar.

“When I was a kid,” I told her, shoving down the nerves about telling this story, “there was an Omega who lived on our block. She was sweet, and she babysat me sometimes. Her name was Mira. She had a pack, and I knew enough about them to know they were like us. Their scents brought them together. But her Alphas—”

I huffed out a breath and held Esme to my chest, cradling her head, as if being here with me could protect her from the words I was about to say.

“They didn’t treat her well.” It was an understatement. “Because they belonged together, they took advantage of her. There were always bruises on her she tried to hide, and because I was so young I didn’t know what it meant. It wasn’t until far later I understood, and I’m sure it was far worse than I knew.”

Esme’s fingers clung to the back of my shirt, and she tucked her head under my chin.

“I swore if I was ever lucky enough to have an Omega, she would be my entire world. Nothing would be more precious. And I had been pretty close to giving up, until Ben walked in with your scent all over him, and it was like every piece of my soul was pointed toward you.”

There was a small sniffle. “I don’t think I’m ever going to get used to hearing things like that.”

“I hope you do, sweetheart. Because if you get used to them, it means you finally believe them.”

I pried her away from my chest and tilted her face up to mine, taking her lips. She was the most precious thing, and she had no idea.

“All right, time to break up the make-out session,” Rylan called from the door. “Kade said something interesting happened on the pool table, and I think we need to show Esme how it’s done.”

Quickly swiping her eyes, she sat up. “What makes you think I don’t know how to play pool?”

Ry smirked. “Spend a lot of time in dive bars, Miss Williams?”

“Enough to beat you.”

I grinned at him. My sassy Omega was showing her colors, and I was going to have a hard time keeping my dick in my pants. Especially knowing the same sassiness melted away when I took her under command. Our date was going to ruin us both in the best way.

“Don’t worry,” Rylan said. “I’ll be happy to show you how it’s done.”

“We’ll be right there,” I said, sitting up with her and watching Rylan disappear. “You okay?”

She laughed, twisting her hands together. “I feel… perfect. And that’s scary.”

“I know.” Of all the people in the house, I understood what it meant to be afraid of a good thing. When you were so used to it disappearing, suddenly having everything you ever wanted felt like one big lie. But we were going to show her it was real, and the truth. “Ready to get your ass kicked at pool?”

She rolled her eyes. “In your dreams.”

Following her out of the room, I admired the view, and I agreed with her.

I felt perfect.