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CAN I APOLOGIZE

Xiao Fanyu P.O.V

There are times when you want to make amends but God has other plans. I never realized before how much Zhan meant to me until he was gone. No he's not gone. He's taken away from us. Forcefully, without his consent. I don't even know what is happening with him. And that scares me.

It's been a week that Zhan is kidnapped. The police has looked everywhere, but nothing is found. Not even a clue.

On that day a week ago, on Wanyue's birthday we went to the restaurant before Zhan because he was still on his round. We didn't even know what had happened but suddenly a call came from Daoren's elder son saying Zhan was taken from in front of the hospital. I was speechless!

I didn't know what to do!

But then we had to be strong. We reported to the police. Yibo followed them to the highway but they hit him and ran away. Yibo's been in the hospital for two days to heal from his wounds.

The next day when we went to meet Yibo to ask him what he knows he was just sitting on his hospital bed looking lost and unfocused. When he saw me he started saying something that we needed to go closer to listen.

"I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry! I couldn't save him. I sorry. Please forgive me."

Why would he apologize?

Yibo's older brother Haikuan went to comfort him. I was confused but when I looked at Wanyue she was not confused at all. Her face gave off a vibe of recognition and a bit of fear too.

I pulled Wanyue outside of the room.

"You know something, don't you?"

She looked at me as if she saw a ghost. She starts fidgeting and moving around on her feet. Which confused me even more. I don't know what I have to feel. So I asked the same question all over again.

"Wanyue, you know something, don't you?"

"I'm sorry." That's the only thing she says.

"Why does everyone keeps saying sorry?"

"Because Wang Yibo loves A-Zhan and I hid it from you even I knew."

"What?" A shout left my throat. The people around us started giving us weird looks. So I control myself. We're talking about my son here. Of course you don't expect me to be calm. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm telling you the truth." Wanyue reads the situation well and tells me everything. "You remember the party where Mr. Wang introduced his younger son, Yibo to us?"

I just nod. I don't know what to expect anymore.

"That day Wang Yibo confessed to A-Zhan and he rejected him apparently. A-Chang told me he saw Wang Yibo confessing to A-Zhan."

I give out a sigh. "So Zhuochang knew too?" Why do people always keeps things from me? Am I not worthy enough to know? I mean I understand I don't really spend much time with Zhuochang either. But Wanyue? Why didn't she tell me? We share everything with each other. Then why not this?

But somehow now too she understood what I feel.

"I didn't tell you because I wanted it to be A-Zhan's call. If he wants to tell you he will. I can't take that away from him. Also didn't he reject? What's there to worry about?"

I look at her and find her in the same worry that I feel in my heart. Can I tell her that I wanted to make amends with Zhan? I know she wouldn't mind. She doesn't treat Zhan any different than she does Zhuochang.

"Why are you worried, then?"

This gave Wanyue a shock. She knows I understand her. Then why is she shocked?

"Um....." She even hesitates. "I think A-Zhan loves Yibo too." She gives me a distressed look. Does she think I wouldn't approve? Well she should know there's nothing I wouldn't give to any of my sons. Not Zhan. Not Zhuochang. And where Zhan grew up he learnt to know that it's ok. So why would I complain? Wouldn't it be easier for us to make amends with him if we approve faster? What does she know that I don't? And I asked her exactly that.

"What do you know that I don't?"

"Did you notice how A-Zhan changed after that party?" She pulled me to another place in the hospital. A bit more quite place away from people. "He would come back home late, he would drink sometimes, and most of the times he'd drown himself in work?"

"I thought he was stressed about works and stuffs!"

"No he wasn't. A-Zhan is a sensitive person. He feels people's emotions deeply. But he loves his job even more to not focus in it. If he's stressed he normally goes out with A-Chang to the karaoke or goes out running. That's kinda his destressing mechanism. It was something else. Something very very personal that he didn't want to tell us. Not even A-Chang. That's probably also the reason he rejected Yibo." She finally gave a sigh. And I understand her. I understand how she feels, how she's frustrated that this happened to Zhan. And I know how she's worried sick.

I sometimes wonder did I do the right thing bringing Zhan to her life, because the kind of person she is she'll love Zhan because he's my son. But was that really what I wanted? Now that Zhan is taken away is she feeling guilty that this happened in her watch? Is she feeling guilty about how she's going to answer Qing? Because even what I did to Qing was wrong, I know what kind of person they both are.

No that's not what I should be thinking right now. I should be looking for Zhan.

I was brought back to reality by a shocked shout. Qing! So long!

"What do you mean you can't find Sean?" She was shocked and confused. I don't know what Wanyue said to her but I'm sure she didn't say he was kidnapped.

"Qing, please sit first."

"No Mr. Xiao Fanyu. You tell me what did you do to my son?"

For the first time in my entire life I saw hatred in her eyes. For me, for us, for everything that's happened. She was distressed, confused and lost and shocked. She was shaking. In anger and frustration. In seconds she was at my throat. Holding my collar and her eyes were burning fire.

"Tell me where is my son? Tell me where Sean is dammit!"

Is this how I expected her to react? No. Absolutely not. But is this how I knew she'd react? Yes. This is how she always was. She would do anything for Zhan. And I let him be taken away.

It's my fault. Again. I broke them. Again. And I don't know what I should do?

Zhan, where are you, son? Are you okay? Can I say sorry to you when you come back? Would a sorry really make it okay? Can I apologize to your mother, Zhan?

Please, someone please tell me!

Can I really apologize?

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Hello everyone.... Scheduled chapter 1 is up... I hope you understand and forgive me for any mistakes in here... Also I hope you enjoy reading it...

The therapy is going ok so far... So please don't worry.... Also I'm scheduled to have an IV drip in two days.... So hopefully I'll be okay!

I'll take my time recuperating! Also I'll work on my stories offline so that I can upload them later....

Thank you so much for following this fanfic! I'm happy that this baby made its name and growing strong!

All the love

C 💕