eight

EMMA

The retreat is at Shannon's lake cabin, and while I should've expected more than a log cottage, I never would have dreamed the house would be so large. Built with natural wood that blends into the forest backdrop, the rustic mansion overlooks a crystal clear lake, lazily lapping at the shore towards the end of the vast, slopping lawn. The soft chirping of birds mingles with the dogs barking across the lake and reminds me of my childhood.

Despite the uneasiness I feel at spending the weekend with Lizzie and Tori, the serene environment of the cabin instantly relaxes me. Added to the cheery smile Adam gave me when I pulled in, I'm starting to feel like the weekend won't be a complete bust after all. At least we aren't sleeping in tents, as I had originally thought.

Carrying my bags through the beautifully carved entryway, I almost drop them to the floor once I'm inside. The first floor has no ceiling, instead the second floor overlooks the massive living room by a thin catwalk, making the cabin appear even bigger. A variety of animal heads line the walls, making me cringe, their beady eyes staring down at me.

Walking into the kitchen, I'm greeted by Adam and Jerry, sharing a beer by the sink, their laughter bouncing off the walls.

"Hey guys," I wave my hand awkwardly when their conversation reaches a natural pause.

"I'm really glad you could make it Emma," Adam smiles, reaching into the fridge to grab me a beer, too. Offering it to me, he shakes his head. "I'm learning more about this guy already,"

Beside him, Jerry laughs. "I'm a mysterious man, what can I say?" He gestures to my suitcase and purse, "Hey, let me help you get those to a room," he offers, his flushed face reminding me of a beardless Santa. He's almost jolly outside of work compared to his normal exhausted grumbling.

I shutter involuntarily at the thought of my coworkers getting to know me better. Certain things I am happy to share - where I went to school, what I studied, my friends, hell, even stories from the coffee shop. But others, say for example, who I choose to be with romantically, I'd rather not get into. Thinking of Tori and Lizzie, I'm sure they think that's the most interesting thing about me already, a fun fact they must love to make fun of.

"Oh, thanks." I say appreciatively, placing my beer on the counter next to Adam. "I'll be right back,"

Following Jerry up the stairs and across the catwalk, we come to a guest room at the end of the hall. "Only thing is, this ones got the adjoining bathroom with the one beside it." He shrugs, placing my bags by the foot of the bed. I wonder how many retreats he's come to during his time with O'Donnell's Publishing.

"No worries," I grin, thanking him again for helping me out. "Who's in the other room?" I ask curiously, grabbing my phone from my purse and looking around the cozy guest room. The bed is a double, with a plush comforter and too many throw pillows to count, and my eyes nearly get heavy just looking at it. God, I can't wait for bed.

"Tori and Lizzie," Jerry informs me and I force my expression to stay bubbly. "I'll let you get your stuff settled, then join us downstairs, okay?"

Accepting his invitation, I take a quick minute to freshen up in the adjoining bathroom, hearing bits of laugher from the other girls room.

Thinking of my closest friends, Val and Kim who live far away, Gemma, always on the move, and Nadine, busy running her own business, I suppose it would be good to have some other female companions. Maybe this trip will help me out in that regard.

Double checking that my phone is in my back pocket, secretly wanting to know if Beau calls, I head down stairs and rejoin Adam and Jerry. Now, Wren is with them, too, his stubble more grown in from when I started.

"How's it going, Emma?" He raises his beer to me and flashes a bright smile, his blue eyes contrasting with his dark hair.

"I'm great, how're you guys? When did you get in?" I wonder when Shannon will arrive, or if she will at all. The itinerary stressed that this was a chance to connect with co-workers in a no-pressure environment. It included various activities we could try, but judging by the drinking happening already, I wouldn't be surprised if most of the bonding occurred over drunken confessions and alcohol induced antics.

"Earlier this afternoon," Wren answers. "I was just out kayaking,"

I smile - that certainly sounds like what my fried nerves need, a calming paddle on the lake. Nostalgia of spending summers at my parents lake house washes over me, making me more emotional than I would have expected.

Staring out the kitchen window, I can almost hear the faint sound of Mom's laugh as the breeze whips her blonde hair around her face on our fishing boat. Dad would take his eyes off the lake to admire her, holding me in his lap and pretending to let me steer.

Shocking me from my reverie, Adam nudges me with his elbow. "Do you fish?"

Looking at the three men staring at me expectantly, I tell them the truth. "I grew up on the lake, I love to fish."

Adam grins down at me appreciatively and I flush.

Having appeared across the marble island, Tori and Lizzie snicker to themselves and I get the sinking feeling that it's about me. So much for being friends.

Becoming quiet and taking a long slug of my beer, I look at my watch discreetly. Forty-five minutes down, I tell myself, Only the rest of the weekend to go.

***

My shins warm near the fire burning between us all, circled around the flames on log benches. Adam hands me a skewer with a marshmallow on the end and I gratefully stick it over the fire until it's blackened on the outside and gooey on the inside, just the way I like.

My mouth is full as Jess approaches, hands up in surrender. "Sorry I'm late guys, I was stuck at the office." Jerry had informed me that Shannon never attended the retreats, rather she sent her assistant to make sure things went well. Looking around at the beer cans and barbecue left over on the picnic table, Jess smiles. "I guess you got started without me anyways - good!"

Sitting to my right, she takes the skewer Adam passes to her in front of me. "How's everything going?" She asks, looking to each of us over the orange flames.

"It's great, the steak was delicious," Jerry nods approvingly and Adam agrees.

"Shannon really outdid herself." Wren approves. It's funny how all guys need to have a good time is some tasty barbecue. The conversation had been light, the veteran employees sharing funny stories from the past retreats and telling us about the variety of activities available like jet skiing and lounging on the pontoon boat. So far, Tori and Lizzie had been keeping to themselves, for which I'm pretty grateful.

Jess shrugs. "I'm not sure Shannon has much to do with her grocery shopping, but I'll pass the praise along anyways." She smiles between licking the sticky marshmallow from her fingers.

Across the fire, Lizzie pipes up, her voice full of mock cheer that hadn't been there just moments ago. "We were just about to play Never Have I Ever,"

The comment grabs my attention, but I don't draw my eyes from the flames.

"You guys know I'm not supposed to encourage those games," Jess sighs, digging for another marshmallow already.

"Oh, come on," Lizzie rolls her eyes, glancing at Tori for approval. Then I feel her gaze fall on me and I stiffen, mind reeling with the possibilities they will deliberately throw my way. "What do you think Emma, wanna play?"

Looking up casually, I feel the eyes of everyone else on me, too. I feel my cheeks heat up as I debate how embarrassed they can make me during the game and not wanting to seem like a buzzkill in front of everyone.

"Uh," Adam shoots me an encouraging smile and I nod my head. "Sure, why not?"

Lizzie grins wickedly and I feel my stomach flop.

"Who wants to start?" Tori looks around at everyone before landing on Wren.

"Wren, why don't you go?" She giggles flirtatiously but he doesn't seem to notice much.

"Hm, sure." He runs his hands over the thighs of his jeans and looks to the sky. "Never have I ever... gotten black out drunk?" When shrugs lamely as Tori giggles.

Adam laughs in surprise, head thrown back happily. "Oh come on, man, never?" He takes a long drink of his beer, as do most of the others. I swirl my bottle in my hands, keeping my eyes downcast to avoid attention.

"Boring!" Lizzie shakes her head, curls bouncing around her head. "I'll go. Never have I ever," she taps her chin dramatically. "Never have I ever had a threesome,"

My eyes widen as my cheeks flush and I'm grateful once again for the dark, evening sky. Again, I keep my eyes on my feet as Wren and Tori take their drinks.

Beside me, Adam doesn't budge and I feel a little bit better.

We go a few more rounds, bouncing between goofy things on Adam's part, like passing gas in front of a crowd, and more hardcore things relating to sex and drugs, from Tori and Lizzie. Part of me can't get over the suspicion that they're hoping to find dirt on me, given my history with Beau. The other part tells me to get over myself.

"Okay, who's not feeling it yet?" Jess, having given in after only a couple of rounds, laughs. I avert my gaze but she eyes each individual person. "I think Jerry could handle some more," She giggles. "And Emma! Definitely Emma."

Unable to contain my embarrassment, I shrug halfheartedly. "I'm okay, honestly."

"Oh, no, wait!" Lizzie smiles hugely, eyes glinting with the orange light of the campfire, and I see her just barely nudge Tori with her elbow. "Never have I ever," She eyes me intently, "Fucked a famous celebrity,"

I sputter, feeling all the blood in my body rise to my cheeks as everyone stares at me, eyes wide. Knowing they all know the truth makes it even more embarrassing. Instantly, Adam speaks up next to me.

"Hey, you don't have to be like that, Lizzie." Lizzie only rolls her eyes as Adam sticks up for me. The idea of Adam, or all the guys here, really, thinking about me having sex with Beau twists my insides tightly. It's bad enough to have the entire public speculate about my sex life, but to know my co-workers actively thinks about it is even worse.

"No, don't worry about it, Adam." I stand and put a hand on his shoulder. "I'm done with this,"

Jess stands, too. "Hey, you don't have to go, Emma." She smiles at me softly, kinder than she has been at the office. "This is a team-building trip, not a chance to put new coworkers on the spot, Lizzie. I think you owe Emma an apology,"

Tori snickers but Lizzie puts on a fake smile. "Sorry, Emma. It was all just part of the game, yeah?"

Jess hums disapprovingly, giving Lizzie a stern eye. Before Jess can speak, I shake my head. "I don't really care what you think of me, Lizzie. Next time, though, I'd suggest having an adult conversation instead of hiding behind a teenagers drinking game."

Pouring the rest of my drink out on the lawn, I toss the bottle in the recycling bin and make my way back inside to to get my things, leaving my colleagues wordless behind me.