eighteen

By some miracle, I finally get my feet to work, propelling me forward to block Beau from reaching Adam, who is still completely oblivious. Thank God. Placing my hands firmly on Beau's chest, I barely register to him, his sight above my head, sending glares to the table.

"Beau, please." I raise my hands to his neck, trying to tug his gaze to my eyes. "Whatever she said, I promise it's not true. We can talk about it, but you have to calm down." His eyes shoot down to me then, hard and full of fury. "Please,"

"How long have you been sleeping with Adam?" His words cut through me like a knife, his eyes staring down at me, harsh and unflinching.

"What?" I drop my hands from his chest, shock and hurt rolling through my body.

"How long?"

"Beau, I haven't, I don't even know what you're talking about," I look quickly between him and Lizzie, wondering what she could've shown him to make him react like this - to think I'd cheat on him.

His expression doesn't change. "She showed me, Emma. I saw it,"

"Saw what?!" I hear my own voice raising louder as my anger builds inside me. "Did you see us having sex, Beau? Is that what you saw? Because if it's not - you have no reason to accuse me of cheating on you,"

Brows furrowed, Beau shakes his head, running long fingers through his hair. "I don't know, Emma. I just..." His voice trails off as he argues with himself, body still tense with agitation.

"Let's just go." I shake my head. "We'll go home and talk about this. But not here," I touch my palm to his cheek to try and calm him somewhat. My eyes flash to Lizzie now at the table again with the others, laughing loudly with a smug expression. "Please, let's not do this here."

Finally, Beau lowers his head and meets my gaze, eyes softening just a little bit. Wordlessly, he makes his way to the table, grabs his denim jacket, and storms away, not saying goodbye to anyone.

I reluctantly follow after him, sending an apologetic look to Adam on my way. "Wren, Adam - I'll see you on Monday. It was lovely meeting you, Delilah." I offer her my most genuine smile before leaving the bar, not acknowledging Lizzie or Tori as I go.

***

BEAU

The silence on our way back to Emma's place is deafening, worse than any crowd I've ever performed for. She's pissed. I peer at her from the corner of my eye, her own gaze staring straight ahead at the road. Well, I'm pissed too.

Do I have a tendency to overreact? Could I have handled myself better at the bar? Yes to both, probably. But that girl, Lizzie, and her stupid picture just made me so fucking mad.

"I wish my boyfriend was as chill as you, if a guy even blinks in my direction he's ready to rip his head off." She sipped her martini like a horse, I remember thinking.

"What's that?" I muttered, not paying attention but scanning the crowd for Emma. I couldn't stay anymore, the tequila drenching her clothes sent me over the edge. I needed to leave.

"I just mean with how close Adam and Emma are and everything," She shrugged.

Leave it be, Beau, my mind scolded.

"Right," I rolled my eyes, trying to move around her body without touching her.

"Oh! That reminds me," She waved at me over her shoulder; she looked amused, like she'd just heard a joke. Little did I know that joke was on me. "Come here,"

Reluctantly, I followed her to the bar top; I'd talk to her, if it'd get her to leave Emma alone. Every arm hair stood on end as I kept about a foot between myself and the cool bar surface, probably sticky with liquor.

"See, look," She turned her phone in my direction. "Aren't they sweet? They were out there all night." She flashed a sadistic smile, before leaning back, eyes smug.

I blinked a couple of times to make sure I saw the photo right. Emma, laying out on a sleeping bag, a couple of pillows and blankets beside her. Squinting, I see someone, no I see him, laying beside her. My eyes shot up, finding Adam immediately.

Emma wouldn't, would she? Wasn't he so happy to see her pull up to the retreat? My temper boiled the longer I tried to fit the pieces together.

"They're the cutest friends - always hanging in each other's offices, laughing..." Lizzie pretended to catch herself, covering her mouth with her hand. "Unless... no, I'm sure it's nothing. Adam is clearly not even Emma's type, right?"

I didn't even look her way, her words tore through me easily. Of course he is - smart, normal... nice. Like that guy she dated, Riley.

I didn't even think before I started charging forward.

Emma sighs as she puts the car in park at her condo complex. Turning to me slowly, she raises her eyes to my face. God, that face - that sweet face, looks so angry right now.

I don't want to waste time being pissed off. But here we are.

"Are you okay? After the spilled drink and everything? Be honest." Her eyes are sincere. I nod slowly, feeling my cheeks warm.

"Good." She smiles but it fades quickly. "Beau, what did Lizzie show you?" Her voice is even, diplomatic. Tired, maybe of me.

I lean my head back against the seat. "A picture of you with Adam, laying down at the lake." I realize how stupid it sounds now. "She made it seem like you were with him,"

I close my eyes and curse my quick temper - I was already so on edge after the spilled tequila. When I open them, Emma is staring at me blankly.

"I didn't sleep with Adam. I'd never cheat on you. I thought you'd know that. I'd at least hope you'd talk to me instead of lashing out and causing a scene." She stares right at me and I believe her. Suddenly I wish we weren't in a car, wish I could take a few steps back so her glare wouldn't feel so constricting.

"Are you going to say anything?" She asks. I think of everything I could say, but come up empty. How many "I'm sorry"s can I give in a weekend before even I admit I'm an asshole?

"Fine. You be quiet - I'll do the talking. Because I have lots to say," Her voice is calm but her tone is cutting. "You did that - almost beat up my coworker - because some random girl showed you a picture? You really trust me so little, when you're the one being photographed walking into clubs with Rey, holding her hand, standing close!"

I flinch. Fuck. Rey. Always so pushy and ready to go, she dragged me into the club, but of course paps made it seem romantic.

"And you're hanging out with Jace again? I really thought this time would be better, Beau, because we were better. But you went on tour and it's like the Beau I've gotten to know the past few weeks is just gone."

What? No.

My eyes flash to her face. "Emma, I can explain all of that-"

"Save it, I'm talking now." She gives me a look I've never seen and I snap my mouth closed. "I tried to bring you around to meet some of my friends, so you could know them, know that other part of my life, and you're completely uninterested. You barely even spoke to them before we had to leave so you wouldn't hit Adam,"

"Those people are your friends?" I finally snap. "Lizzie, who singlehandedly tried to ruin your relationship?"

Emma shakes her head, blonde strands falling into her face. "That's not what I meant, and you know it."

"Fine, Emma! Shit, I'm sorry I don't fit in with your friends, I'm sorry I'm not normal like them. Is that what you want to hear?" I hop out of the car but am careful not to slam the door. I don't want to get that mad, not with Emma.

She follows me out and storms past me to her front door. "I don't want you to be normal, Beau. I want you to be you - I just wish you'd try being nice sometimes."

There it is, I nearly stop in my tracks. I'm just not nice enough.

She leaves the door open for me and despite how shitty I feel right now, a tug inside pulls me through her entryway. I stand there in the hall awkwardly, hearing Emma rustling around in the kitchen.

"So what now, Emma?" I call out, feeling a lump in my throat. I trudge forward into her living room right as she comes back from the kitchen, two glasses of water in her hands.

Handing me one, she bites her lip and sits down on the couch. Looking up at me, she pats the space beside her before speaking. "At the retreat,"

I shake my head. "Emma, I believe you-"

She puts her hand up to stop me. "Lizzie and Tori were trying to get under my skin, putting me on the spot for being with you. I decided to sleep outside instead of dealing with them and Adam came, too. We talked, we slept, that was it. He's a good friend."

"I shouldn't have assumed the worst." I admit, "I'm sorry for how I acted. And with Rey - it wasn't what it looked like, Em. She grabbed my hand to rush me inside - you know how the press is,"

She nods. "I know. I trust you," She stares into her water. "Will you be upset if I'm still friends with Adam?"

I know how he smiles at her, I know he probably likes her. But I have to trust Emma. I shake my head, "No. He seems like a good guy. It's hard for me, with other people. I don't know what to say or..." I scratch the back of my head. Talking has never been my strong suit.

Emma puts her hand on top of mine, calming my fingers from rapidly thumping against my thigh. "Beau, I know. It's okay. We've just got to work together," I lift my arm and she snuggles in beside me, a perfect fit. "I don't want to fight,"

I pull her closer to my body. "So let's not fight." I tilt her chin towards my face, pressing my mouth against hers. As she kisses me back, opening her mouth to allow me access, something stirs deep inside me.

Her taste overwhelms me, intoxicating me in the way only she can. The high she gives me is the closest I have to being drunk these days, but it's always so much better, with no nasty hangover the next day. Every day with her just gets better.

As her leg wraps around my waist, I lose the last of my restraint, lifting her in my arms and carrying her to her bedroom.

I lay her back on the bed as she giggles. Leaning back, I peel my shirt over my head. I pause before kissing her again, meeting her gaze, watching me with care in her eyes.

Not care. Love, I force myself to think the word.

I bend my head to hers and kiss her gently on the chin, then her nose, her cheeks, her eyelids. Finally, I meet her lips. She presses the kiss further, hungry for more, but I move out of her reach.

She pouts at me and I feel a smile on my lips.

"Fuck, you have no idea how much I love you."

O M G everyone - a book (and part of the second book) went by and Beau has finally said the "l" word!

How are we feeling?!

(Also please note: chapter 8 has been updated! The game of "never have I ever".. I switched some characters around after catching my mistake. Lizzie did the mean "never have I ever" question, not Tori! Thanks loves ❤️)