24. Decisions + Details

Part 2/2 for this update - go back and read chapter 23 if you haven't yet!

"Fallon," a distance voice stirs me from blackness.

"Fallon," Haven's voice says again, this time a lot more clearly.

I slowly open my eyes to the sight of my brother smiling down at me.

"How much do you love me?" He asks from the side of my bed, looking adorably young with his lopsided smile.

"Um, a lot, obviously," I rub my eyes and mumble, my voice still encased in sleep. "Why?" My limbs are stiffer than usual as I stretch them out, wondering if I moved at all last night.

He bounds out of my line of sight for a moment and returns seconds later with a breakfast tray that's piled with extremely mouth-watering confections, and a steaming mug of coffee.

I smile, feeling gratitude rise in my chest at the kind gesture.

Haven spent his evening last night cleaning up the house after mom had some sort of freak out and started squirting mustard on everything, saying the yellow would make her happy again. She had then proceeded to take a hammer to several of the walls.

Jayce had dropped me off right as Haven had finished cleaning up. I was able to recount my hellish evening to him, shuddering as I recalled Alexei's bitter anger. Haven had looked like he was ready to drive to Jayce's house and pummel him and Alexei until they couldn't remember their last name.

I had immediately calmed Haven down and distracted him with the stories of Presley and me discovering the missing footage, and Jayce using his man powers to get the truth out of Shay. Between that and bringing up Jayce literally punching his own father in the face for calling me names, Haven seemed satisfied with not beating the shit out of him.

Haven left me to have my breakfast alone, despite my attempts to get him to stay and eat with me. Apparently he has something "very important to do with a red-head" today, but wanted to spoil me a bit after the evening I'd had.

I feel like I should be spoiling him after the evening he had, but I'll have to save it for another time. Besides, I'm sure he'll be getting spoiled enough with this little ginger friend of his.

I don't like thinking about the fact that my brother is spending his day getting laid, especially because it makes me wish that it was happening to me.

Which it isn't.

And hasn't for nearly three months.

Ugh.

I distract myself by gorging my body with the pile of store-bought croissants, icing-doused cinnamon rolls and mini blueberry muffins, following it up with gulps of the strong, black coffee.

Once I have a sufficient caffeine and sugar rush, I climb out of the warm, safe, comforting oasis that is my bed and meander into my bathroom, already anticipating feeling hot water and steam on my skin.

I do my best to clear my head as the water washes over me.

Maybe I should spend the day pampering the fuck out of myself.

Take a bath, get a new book from the library and paint my toes or some shit. Self care, bro.

When my fingers and toes look like raisins, I resentfully step out of the shower and dress in a comfy pair of yoga pants, a long-sleeve cranberry top and some black and white sneakers.

Grabbing my bag and library card, I head downstairs and am about to dash out the front door when I hear my mom's voice from the kitchen.

"How did your photoshoot go, love?"

I turn slowly to see my mom sitting at the kitchen table, a steaming mug in front of her.

Everything about her seems grey. Her cheeks that used to be pink and dewy are now thin and sallow. She has bags and dark circles under her eyes, and her hair looks like it hasn't been washed in a week.

Her thin, small body is wrapped in a cardigan that looks like it might slip off her shoulders at any moment, and I wonder when the last time she ate was. I definitely don't know the last time she's been awake before 2pm.

"It was fine," I reply, immediately heading to the pantry to get her a croissant, or anything really. She's scary thin.

"Fine huh?" She lets out a scratchy chuckle. "Somehow I get the impression that you could be staring at a wall with that boy and it would still be way more than fine."

I mean, she's not wrong.

"It was fun. I had a good time," I say, offering her a small smile over my shoulder, which seems to perk her up and she smiles back at me.

Awh.

She seems sober, which is a shock and a blessing. The last time I had a sober conversation with her was probably six months ago. I take a deep breath as I deposit the pastry in front of her and sit down, asking, "How was your night?"

Her muted green eyes flit down to her coffee mug, which she grips with her bony hands. "It... It was awful."

I gently place my hand on her forearm, afraid that resting its full weight on her would somehow break her bones. "What happened?"

"I..." She blinks and shakes her head, a single tear falling onto her cardigan. "I hate this. I don't know why I've continued doing this to myself," she lifts her head, her eyes swimming with tears and regret. "I don't know why I've continued doing this to you and Haven... I've decided to get clean."

Her words echo in my mind. I'd always thought that hearing those words would make me ecstatic. But right now, there's a completely different emotion rising up inside me.

"After... After your father..." She sniffles, looking at her coffee mug as tears continue rolling down her cheeks, "He was the love of my life. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't process my new reality without him, and I didn't want to. And now, that choice has cost me a decade of time lost with my only two reasons for existing. I'm so sorry, Fallon..." She hangs her head, wiping her nose with the sleeve of her cardigan. "For everything."

Her body is quaking with tears of remorse, and somehow... I'm currently having to work my ass off to swallow a mouthful of rage and not start screaming at her.

I want to flip this fucking table.

It's taken her eleven years to say those words.

Eleven. Fucking. Years.

Eleven years to own up to the fact that she decided to just check the fuck out, leaving a five and six year old to practically fend for themselves.

And she couldn't even look me in the eyes when she apologized.

I remove my hand from her arm, utilizing every possible method I know to keep myself from blowing up on her right here and now.

My chair screeches across the floor as I push back from the table and walk to the front door, my mind reeling with all the things I want to say to her. Tears fill my eyes as I realize the true weight of the burden she chose to place on us for the last eleven years of our lives.

"Fallon?" She calls after me.

I yank the front door open and pause at the threshold, doing my best to control my tongue. I take a deep breath before turning around and slowly saying, "I'm happy for you mom. Proud of you even. Really, I am. I'm just going to need some time." I look at her pointedly, barely containing my boiling. "You can't expect me to forgive eleven years of hurt in eleven seconds."

She looks shocked, but understanding passes over her shallow features as she lowers her head, studying her mug again.

I slam the door, fuming, and reach for my keys. I hear a loud rumbling and turn to see a huge black bike pulling into the driveway.

Jayce sets his foot down and lifts his helmet off his head, smiling at me brightly. "Tink!..." His smile turns to a concerned frown as he takes me in. "What's wrong?"

"Just get me the fuck out of here," I mumble, climbing onto the back of his bike and wrapping my arms around him with no hesitation.

He situates his helmet on my head before peeling down the street. I don't think I've ever been more grateful for Jayce Solis than I am in this very moment. Clinging to his warm, muscular body, I exhale as we rip through town, my anger falling away with every line the hand of the speedometer passes.

I close my eyes and cherish the feeling of the wind on my skin, flinging my hair over my shoulders... The strength and warmth of the body I'm currently pressed against... The butterflies in my stomach as I realize how comfortable I've grown around Jayce in the past month.

I never thought I would be able to say that I genuinely care for Jayce.

I've spent so much time convincing myself that I wouldn't sleep with him, yet it seems as though I've managed to get attached to him in other ways.

Somehow, he comforts me.

I can't quite put my finger on it, but he makes me feel safe. Secure. Whole.

We pull into his driveway and I lift the helmet from my head, resenting the fact that I have to remove one of my arms from his solid torso.

"Jayce, I really don't want to see your dad," I tell him, unable to mask the hint of fear in my voice.

"He and mom had to leave on business again," he informs me as he pulls into the garage and kills the engine. "So basically, there's no one here to interrupt us," he smirks at me with a suggestive glint in his eye as he swings his leg off the bike and saunters inside.

I quickly slide off and follow him into his house, trying to ignore the thumping that's suddenly appeared between my legs.

Damn him.

I follow him through the house, so mesmerized by every movement of his back and arm muscles that I nearly run into him when he stops and turns around to face me. I realize we've come to a halt outside his room.

"Close your eyes," he smiles down at me, those beautifully soul-crushing crinkles appearing around his eyes.

"Uh, why?" I scoff, though I have to admit he managed to make my heart speed up.

"Just trust me," he steps behind me and gently covers my eyes with one of his hot hands, placing the other on my hip. As usual, his touch is electric and I wouldn't be surprised if every hair on my body is standing on end.

He pushes me forward into his room, the thumping between my legs only growing with every step, my breathing becoming more and more of a chore as he tightens his grip on me.

I feel the floor transition from wood to carpet as we pad a few more paces and then he turns me around before removing his hands from my body. I open my eyes to see at least twenty black and white photographs on his wall, all secured by clothespins and hanging on zig-zagging brown string.

"It took me a while, but I narrowed it down to these," Jayce says, raising his hand to rub the back of his neck. "But I hoped you would help me pick out which one you like the most, so I can send it off to Paris with the rest of my portfolio."

With my heart skipping more beats than is probably healthy, I realize that every photo is of me.

Thinking about Jayce spending time pouring over photos of me, trying to narrow it down to his favorites, has me feeling way too damn good about myself.

"You didn't wank to any of these, did you?" I glance up, giving him a half-smile.

"You really think I've ever had to use my own hand?" He smirks and runs his hand thorough his curls, reminding me that he probably has never lacked female attention, or a girl to stick his dick in whenever the fuck he felt like it.

I roll my eyes and return my gaze the the rows of photos. I step forward and spend several minutes inspecting them, feeling Jayce's eyes on my back as I do so. It's bizarre to look at yourself so many times, to see yourself looking so pretty and badass and confident. There's an entire array of emotions in the handful he's selected, and my heart (again) beats unevenly thinking about him spending time looking at photos of me.

"Which one is your favorite?" I spin around and his eyes snap up to my face. I'm pretty sure I just caught him staring at my ass?

He takes a big step forward, his intense brown eyes never leaving mine. "I love them all," he says slowly. "I want you to pick the final one."

I don't want to tear my eyes away from him, but I manage to turn around and quickly point to one, picking mostly at random. "That one."

"That one, it is," Jayce steps forward and unclips the photograph from the wire, placing it on a small desk that's been shoved in the corner. "I'll get it scanned in and the whole portfolio sent off tonight. Thank you so much for helping me," he smiles sweetly and tilts his head a bit to the right, looking me up and down. "How can I ever thank you?"

Oh, I can definitely think of some ways.

"You don't need to do anything to thank me," I say unconvincingly.

He smirks and takes a step toward me, gazing down at me seductively, "Are you sure there's nothing you want?"

You.

"You... You have a girlfriend," I somehow manage to squeak out, taking a step backward.

A smile breaks across Jayce's face as he shakes his head, "Not anymore."

My heart jolts, speeding up to match how quickly my head is spinning. "You and Layla broke up?"

He nods slowly, the grin still on his lips while his eyes drink me in, "I broke up with her right after I dropped you off last night. I'm sending my portfolio today, and dad won't be back for a couple weeks, so he won't find out until after I've made a deal with À La Mode."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

He takes another step toward me and I take another step back, still trying to make sure he's completely out of his relationship. The backs of my thighs brush up against the soft comforter of his bed.

"I wanted to tell you in person," he shrugs, peering down at me with heat blazing in his brown eyes. "Now I'll ask you again..." He takes another step closer to me, bringing his fingers up to brush my hair behind my ear, his hand resting against my head and cheek. "How can I thank you, Tink?"

I bite down on my lower lip, wanting to tell him exactly what he can do to me but not wanting to be the first to give in.

"Why don't you just thank me in whatever way you see fit?"

He shakes his head and chuckles, "I'm not going to do anything unless I'm sure you want it." His eyes glint and his white smile radiates against his tan skin. "Tell me what you want."

"Is it that hard to guess?" I breathe.

"Tell me what you want, Fallon."

I'm silent for several moments, both of our eyes flitting between each other's eyes and lips. My heart is pounding and I don't know if I've ever wanted to touch someone more in my entire life. I bite my lip and close my eyes, letting out a frustrated groan as Jayce chuckles lightly, clearly getting a kick out of seeing me squirm. He knows exactly what he's doing.

My pride is so big.

I don't want to be the first one to crack.

Jayce begins rubbing slow circles with his thumb on the side of my cheek. That and his overwhelming scent seems to be all that I can register.

I've resisted for so long, and in this moment, I don't have any self control left.

I feel my resolve crumbling with every ragged breath I breath in and out.

I open my eyes and look up at his face, which is mere inches from mine, and I feel my heart melt. His gaze is heated, passionate and fiery, yet still so safe, trustworthy and comforting. It's this crazy mix that has driven me absolutely wild since day one.

I can't do it anymore.

"Will you please kiss me?" I whisper, barely able to hear my words over the beating of my own heart.

Pulling me into him with one hand behind my neck and the other on the small of my back, he obliges instantly, bringing his lips down to mine.

Our mouths meet and I suddenly understand the true meaning of the word "finally."

His lips are sweet and soft, pressing gently against mine as he wraps his fingers in the hair at the nape of my neck. He kisses me slowly, with this hungry tenderness that I didn't know could exist. It's like he's tasted the most delicious wine this world has to offer and wants to savor it, sipping it slowly... but at the same time he wants to consume it completely, holding nothing back.

I instantly reach up and entwine my fingers in his thick, curly hair, which is exquisitely soft. I feel myself breathe out a small moan as our mouths discover.

His kiss suddenly becomes rougher, faster as he pulls my body against him, our mouths moving together as perfectly as life-long dance partners. I run my hand over his shoulder and arm, down his back, relishing every moment that my fingertips get to glide along his hot skin. My hand comes to rest over his chest and can feel the racing of his heart.

Suddenly, he breaks away, breathing heavily as he looks down into my eyes, seeming to be asking for permission.

I nod desperately, completely breathless. He instantly picks me up and I respond by wrapping my legs around his torso, crashing my lips back on his as we kiss like we're the last people on earth.

A light sweat breaks out across my skin as he lowers us onto the bed, my back coming in contact with the cool comforter. I move my hands over the grooves in his back as his lips trail white-hot kisses down my neck, one hand tightly gripping my waist. I'm unable to help the needy moan that escapes my mouth as he kisses back up to my ear before lifting his head, his brown eyes overflowing with admiration and intense desire as he smirks down at me.

I bite down on my lower lip and can't even imagine how much intoxicated craving is in my own eyes.

His hot, soft lips meet mine again, and I'm instantly surrendered to him, totally undone.

This man has completely set my soul on fire.

Tangling my hands in his hair, I kiss him with everything in me, our lips gliding together like they were designed for each other.

He pulls away suddenly, gently moving a strand of hair off my cheek as he gazes down at me, the fire still raging in his eyes.

"Thank you, Fallon," he whispers before stretching his neck up to softly kiss my forehead, lingering for several seconds.

My head is spinning with the intimacy and passion of his kiss and I can't really process anything except that I know I want more. I need more.

"Wait," I manage to gasp out as he pushes himself off of me.

He stands up and offers me his hand, which I take as he pulls me up to stand in front of him.

"Wait..." I say again, hating that I'm suddenly so discombobulated.

"What?" He smirks down at me, his eyes shining as he probably feels pretty damn good about the state he's left me in.

"That's it?" I choke out, my mind finally getting a bit more of its shit together.

"I gave you exactly what you wanted," he smiles mischievously. "If you wanted anything more, then you didn't ask the right question."

His jaw suddenly drops.

"Holy shit," he breathes. His eyes are still staring at me, but his mind is clearly elsewhere.

"What?" I ask quickly, confused by his sudden shift.

"I've got it," he says, taking off out of his room and through the house.

I dash down the stairs behind him, still trying to regain full control of my brain.

He stops at the bottom of the stairs and turns around to look at me with excitement in his eyes. "Jeffers said that his relationship with the owners was purely professional," he peers at me expectantly.

I stare back at him, clearly not putting two and two together, and honestly a little offended that he's thinking about Tom fucking Jeffers right now.

"Haven asked Jeffers to describe his relationship with 'the owners,' but your dad isn't an owner anymore! Haven should have asked what his relationship was like with Benjamin Rhodes."

Realization slaps me silly. "He gave us exactly what we asked for..." I breathe, excitement growing inside me.

Jayce nods vigorously, his curls bouncing.

"We just didn't ask the right question."

~~~

AHHHHHHHHH OOOOOMMMMMGGGGGGG

ITHAPPENEDITHAPPENEDITHAPPENED

ITS REEEALLLLL

Eeeep! So yeah, like I said, today is my birthday AND Thanksgiving in the US, so I wanted to have fun by feeling like I was giving YOU a gift today! I wanted to make this update be extrafuckingspecial for you... SO WAS IT?!?!? :D

Also...

I'M SO THANKFUL FOR YOU.

You seriously don't understand how much I love you and how grateful I am for you.

Thank you for loving this story, these characters. Thank you for supporting me, encouraging me and making me laugh and smile with your incredible comments and sweet messages.

I'm a big believer in always doing your best to be grateful for what you have. So much so, that before we go to bed every night, my husband and I lay in bed and tell each other three things we're grateful for. Being thankful truly shifts your mindset! Suddenly everything you receive is a BLESSING, instead of something that's just expected.

So, in the spirit of gratitude and thanksgiving, lets all comment at least three things we're thankful for!

I'll start. In addition to being thankful for YOU, I'm thankful for my incredible, loving, wild husband, my beautiful, generous, encouraging family and for the fact that I have a roof over my head, clean water to drink, and food in my belly every night.

Your turn! :D