22

SOLEIL

The wet caress on my cheek forces my conscious mind awake. I slowly open my eyes and blink a few times to make sure I'm not in a dream.

"Good morning."

"Hi," I groggily respond.

Nope, I'm definitely awake.

Brice's dark hair is wet and swept back from his face. He's topless and barefoot in a pair of black sweatpants. I find myself staring at the ridges of his abs in a kind of daze. I wonder if he came from the shower or practice. My money is on the latter.

"Found it."

He taps on the black screen resting on the bedside table drawing my attention to the phone. Then he's gone.

I've been meaning to ask him how he does that. However, he tends to shows up unannounced, out of nowhere – literally, which catches me off guard.

After last night I don't think he hates me. He was initially upset. Considering our brief interaction a few seconds ago, he looks fine. He did give me my phone back.

I try switch it on but it's dead. So, I plug it in and give it a few minutes. When the screen lights up, I'm inundated with 3 days' worth of notifications. The missed calls are from Friday through Saturday which is when I suspect my battery died.

I scan the names and preview some texts without opening them. One name stands out – Mark – who seems more worried than upset. I remember that awkward conversation we had in the hallway outside Brice's bedroom and cringe.

Not knowing what to type, I take a deep breath and hit the phone icon.

It's a little past 6 AM. He should be awake. I don't think he'll mind, I muse to the dial tone.

"Hello?"

"Hey Mark! It's me Soleil."

"I know," he laughs.

He sounds like he just woke up. Damn. I miscalculated that.

"Sorry to wake you. I just got my phone back and didn't want to worry you. Consider this call proof of life."

He chuckles at my lame attempt to be funny, and I hear rustling in the background.

"It's fine as long as you're not hurt or anything. I would never forgive myself if something happened to you..." he trails off.

"Mark. Please. If there's anyone who needs absolution, it's me. I'm sorry for embarrassing you like that – "

"Already forgiven," he cuts me off.

"Thanks. And if you want to take someone else to MD I completely – "

"I said I couldn't picture ending this year with anyone else."

That brings a smile to my face.

"So, I expect to see you at the dance rehearsals which start on Friday," he continues. "Mr and Mrs Lydall are the appointed instructors. I expect it to be educational at best and entertaining at worst."

The Lydalls ran the music department and weren't as uptight as half the staff. I was cheesing so hard. Thankfully he couldn't see me.

"I'm excited either way!" I gushed.

"Alright cool. I have to get up and get ready so let's chat later."

"Of course! Sorry for waking you and good luck with English today."

"I'd rather a call from you than my alarm. All the best on the test. Cheers!"

"Bye."

I got up and did a little dance to let out some of the excitement. I had seen a few dresses that I liked but I didn't want to get attached. Now, it was a matter of deciding which one I would wear because I was all in.

I scrolled down to my gran's number and hit dial. I had the good-vibes juice to deal with the family matriarch come whatever may. Today is going to be a good day, I vowed.

"Soleil?"

"Morning Gogo."

"You've been so quiet. Is everything okay?"

"Yes! Actually things are fantastic."

I proceeded to share the news of my going to MD. I was anti-social and hasty when I declined the invitation back in March. RSVP's for the numbers were finalised at the end of August so there was no way I would have attended if not for Mark.

I would need my gran on board if I was actually going to pull off the vision I had in mind. By the end of the talk, she had approved.

The last person I called was my aunt who was as excited as I was. She never pushed me when I told her I wasn't up for MD, but based on the way she was acting now I guess she really did want me to go.

"Back in the day, your mother and I were the only black girls in the grade. I can't wait to see how Milton has transformed over the years."

"Well uh... we're still in the minority but doing a lot better. There's a handful of us."

My aunt was my mother's twin. She never got married or had kids. She chose to be a career woman. She traveled between her London and New York offices frequently and came back to SA every other year or two or three.

She had been scarce but promised me she wouldn't miss this particular day.

"Whats the theme?" she asked.

"Old Hollywood Glamour."

"Oooo I have a couple of ideas and friends!"

I SQUEALED like a gutted pig.

Aunt Kat knew people and had no budget when it came to shopping, unlike Gogo who had her bank and my trust under lock and key.

I was given a pittance of an allowance compared to some of the kids at Milton but I didn't mind. It was still more than some people's salaries in this county which was a depressing thought.

I shimmied and hummed a happy tune as I proceeded to the bathroom. Things were off to a great start.

I sat in front of my PC playing some brain music. The frequency of the sound was supposed to relax the mind and make it easier to recall what I had studied. I skimmed through my notes with the quotes I would hopefully use in my set-work essays.

The buzzing of my phone on the bedside table was distracting enough that I decided to take a break.

As I was about to put it on silent, I saw who the message was from.

You've skipped enough tuition lessons.

Send me an updated schedule that makes up for it.

I rolled my eyes even if he couldn't see me. I was over it and over him. The fact that I was still attracted to him made me want to slap myself.

I hit dial to set the record straight. I was on a streak today. May as well go for the home run.

"Hello?" I spoke into the silent end of the receiver.

"Yes."

Who picks up a call but doesn't answer? Doesn't matter.

"I'm not updating the schedule and I'm not giving any more lessons. Keep the money."

I was so annoyed, I hung up without waiting for a response. I switched my phone to flight mode then focused on the exam scheduled in an hour.

*

FRIDAY

I should not have hung up on him.

That was the ringing thought in my mind as I walked into the hall in my sensible, black, three-inch stilettos. They were the only pair I had because where would I be going in this boring little town in heels?

Nevertheless, I was ready with a pair just in case.

My stray eyes locked with Brice for a moment. He hadn't reached out or dropped by since that brief call. Just because I had ghosted him online didn't mean I wouldn't see him again. Well this is awkward.

I spotted my dance partner a few people over and headed in his direction with a tense smile and even steps. I was going to mind my business and focus on my steps.

I will not fall. I will not fall, I chanted.

I would not go down in history as the girl who face-planted before the lesson even began.

With Milton being a boarding school, we spent 90% of our time in their beige, black, and white uniform. The estate was so vast sometimes it took fifteen minutes to get between classes. We were more of a Toughies and Tekkies kind of folk, but I enjoyed wearing heels when the occasion presented itself. I practiced my walk during the holidays and loved the added height it gave my 5"5 frame.

"Perfect! I knew that you were the right girl to ask," Mark greeted with a welcoming smile.

"Stop! Did your mama never teach you that flattery is for fools?" I chide playfully and cross my arms.

"I'm serious!" He takes a hold of my hand and draws me closer. "Even in heels, I'm still taller than you. I swear it's a match made in heaven."

"You're ridiculous! But yes, you're the perfect height indeed," I concede.

We were almost at eye level. I could get higher heels if I wanted but this was good.

"You ready to rock?"

"And roll," I snapped my fingers.

Mark grabbed my hand and spun me around. My checkered skirt billowed out gracefully exposing more of my legs.

"Good balance," Mark winked.

He was smooth and a flirt. I couldn't help the elated grin that stretched my cheeks to the limit. I hope I wasn't giving him mixed signals.

"Alright boys and girls." Mrs Lydall clapped to get our attention. The many bangles along her arms creating a tune all their own. "Can we please have two lines with each one of you facing your partner."

"Gentlemen don't be afraid to take a firm hold of your partner. She needs to feel secure as you take the lead," added Mr Lydall, taking a hold of his wife. "The Waltz is a slow tempo, box dance. You cannot mess it up."

"Ladies relax and follow his lead as you one-two-three, one-two-three; six movements in total," Mrs Lydall called out in a sing-song voice as they waltzed around the room looking lovingly into each other's eyes.

Everyone was amused. Smiled and chuckles lit up the room. I placed one hand on Mark's shoulders and the other in his hand.

"Up! Up! Higher! There you go. Not the waist Tshepo. You're supposed to hold her shoulder," Mr Lydall commented as he walked around.

We were given a beat followed by the steps. After bumbling around like an idiot at first, I got the hang of it.

Once we had the basic choreography down, Mrs Lydall turned on the music and we waltzed around the room in a somewhat coordinated effort.

"Not bad for the first day. We will repeat this again tomorrow morning, bright and early my young ones," Mrs Lydall's light voice rang as we began filing out.

Mr Lydall gathered her into his arms, spun her around, and dipped her dramatically. They were so cliché but cute in their own way. They met in college and have been married ever since. He's blonde and she has dark hair. Mrs Lydall is short and plump whereas Mr Lydall is tall and lean. They made the perfect 10.

My toes were aching and my calves had started to burn. I made my way to the chairs that had been pushed alongside the wall to clear the floor. I hopped on a small stack of four and sighed in relief.

Mark came over, picked up a leg and started to message my calf muscles. I tilted my head to the side and looked at him. I mean really looked.

He had dark curly hair and dark soulful eyes - the kind that made you comfortable not afraid. An even caramel complexion and bright white teeth always hinting at a smile. He was handsome but I wasn't into him. What is wrong with me?

"I don't want to send you mixed messages." I pulled my leg out of his hold and placed my heel on his abdomen.

He looked at my foot and then at me.

"You have got to know that's a sexy move. I find you attractive, but I can take a hint." He winked again.

"Stop that." I playfully shoved him back.

"Humour me. Flirt back. Give me banter. I need the practice," he almost whined.

"I promise you don't. It's not you; it's me. I'm stuck on stupid."

My treacherous eyes couldn't help but land on Brice and his date – Hailey. His arm was thrown over her shoulder as their posse gathered around them. A part of me told me to stay away yet another part still pined over him, the part that was jealous that he was with someone else. I wanted to slap myself again when I remembered she was adopted.

Mark turned to look at what had my attention before I had the good sense to focus on something else.

"Hm. I won't pry but if you ever need a friend, I'm here."

The tension that was slowly working itself through my nerves stopped and I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding. I mean we were both in the room when Brice dropped that bomb but I was scared of saying too much considering everything that's happened since.

"Thanks. And if you ever need an ear..." This time, I gave him a wink.

I hopped off the seats and began tracking backwards keeping an eye on Mark.

"You move really well in those."

"I've had practice. Would it be too forward of me to ask you to walk me back. I have some outfit ideas I want to run by you."

"Would love to. Can't think of a better pastime."

"Are you serious?"

I wasn't sure whether he was being sarcastic or just affable.

"Deathly. I have a couple of older sisters and I'm the only boy. Trust me when I say that this is one conversation I'm well versed in. At least this time I won't freak out about it."

"What do you mean?"

"I have TWO relatively attractive sisters. The way they want to dress and the way they look when they step out," he shook his head. "Maybe it's because I'm their baby brother, but I'm still a man and I end up envisioning things I don't want to."

"Right. So, you want to envision my things?"

"Actually, yes." He winked again.

"You've got to stop that," I deadpanned.

"Three is the quota. Got it."

He gave me the thumbs up and I simply shook my head at how playful and easy going he was.

The trek back to my dorm is about ten minutes which isn't too bad. I hand over my phone with the album open.

"Just swipe right."

"Wow these are really nice."

I slow down my gait because now I'm pushing passion. The cobble-paved way is uneven making it a little tricky to balance in these shoes.

"Hop on. I'll give you a piggy ride back."

"I'm not a pig though," I protest as I pocket my phone into my white shirt and hop on his back.

"Of course not. Have you looked in the mirror lately? It's just an expression."

"Argh I know. Excuse me for being a little sensitive. So which one did you like?"

"The blue and the yellow."

"They were 3 blue dresses and 2 yellow ones. What colour suit are you wearing?"

"Who said I'm wearing a suit? I'm rocking a bobo."

"A what?"

"Kidding. I'm going with a basic black or navy blue. I guess that's why I like the blue dress."

"Which one?"

"Any. You've got good taste. Pick the dress you want. I can always fall back on black."

"Thanks Mark. I want to see your pics too. This is as much your day as it is mine. Don't let me hog the spotlight."

"I'm camera shy so I'm trusting you to look pretty for the both of us. As for pics, I don't have any. I'm just trusting my tailor. He's been fitting me since my bar mitzvah."

"That's cool. I can respect the that."

We walk in comfortable silence for a bit.

"Your carriage has arrived ma'am."

"Why, thank you good sir!" I jumped off and gave him a curtsy. He bows dramatically. We're both so silly. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Alright. Sweet dreams Soleil."

"Goodnight Mark."

I should have known the other shoe was about to drop after such a splendid day. I slayed Physics, didn't trip in my heels, and Mark and I were at a good place.

Things were going far too well for Brice to leave me be. I walked out of my bathroom in a peach, silk pyjama set only to find him pacing on the other side of my door.

"What the hell? WHY?!" I whisper shouted.

"Don't play dumb. You blocked me." He stopped and cast that steel gaze of his on me.

I couldn't even deny it because it was true. I had deleted and blocked his number with every intention of moving on. I planned to pretend that none of this ever happened.

I thought it was working. I'd had a few normal days and peaceful nights.

"I had to. For my mental health," I added. "How are you able to get in here anyway?"

"Consider it a gift."

"Right, right. And where did you get this gift from?"

"Bequeathed at birth. That's not why I'm here though. We had a deal."

"Well, about that deal..." I laughed humourlessly. "I'm calling it off."

"Excuse me?"

"I quit and you may be excused," I wave dismissively walking around him.

"Come again?"

"What? Didn't you hear me the first time?" I walked over to the bed and pulled back the covers. "I'm calling it quits. We're done. If this is a game of deal or no deal then no deal. I'm taking my metaphorical case and I'm out."

I turned around to give him the peace sign only to realise I'd just declared war.

"I'm not one to break a contract Soleil."

"What are you going to do about it? Sue me?"

I roll my eyes, cross my arms, and fix him with the most nonchalant look I can muster.

Bad idea.

His stormy grey eyes become thunderous.

Before I can even fix my mouth to backtrack, I find myself submerged in a sea of water.

My eyes burn from the salt. I thrash around with my arms and legs trying to find the right side up. I scream only to take in water. I block my nose and close my mouth.

Peace. Be still, a quiet voice whispers.

Despite my instincts, I stop flailing around and soon find myself floating upwards. I take a deep breath when I break the surface and cough.

I look around. It's the middle of the night and I'm surrounded by black water. Where am I?

"We had a deal Soleil!" he growls out.

"Brice!" I'm simultaneously relieved and annoyed. I'm not alone but then again, he's the reason I'm here.

I start swimming towards him. The tide is strong and creates resistance against my strokes. As hard as I'm trying to reach him, he appears to move further away.

I take a break. It's not much of one since I'm treading water to stay afloat.

"Brice, help me!"

"No. I already saved your life once."

"Brice, now is not the time."

I'm cold and tired.

"No. A life for a life. If you're not going to honour the law then neither should I."

"What are you talking about? Can we please talk about this back at school?"

I'm confused and slightly panicked because I'm in the middle of the ocean in the middle of the fucking night.

"You owe me your life. You owe me your loyalty. And if you're not going to give me your vows then I may as well offer you back. Consider it a sacrifice."

"Are you serious right now?"

"Does it look like I'm joking?"

He really wasn't. His grey eyes bored into mine and I got the feeling I'd crossed the line.

I shouldn't have hung up on him.

I shouldn't have blocked him.

I shouldn't have called him.

I should have kept my damn mouth shut and done my job because right now I wanted to scream, and it wasn't due to the things I could feel moving underneath the surface.

WC: 3302

25 | 03 | 2023

Mark and Soleil are just friends. No hard feelings. Strictly platonic.

You can be handsome but not attractive.

I'm just going to shelve my previous statement under sexual attraction.

I kinda feel bad for Soleil but not really. I've always been more attracted to an anti-hero than the hero.

Sorry if Brice reads as a nutcase. 😂

I'm going somewhere with this, I promise.