Charmed - 2.

I tried so hard and got so far

But in the end it doesn't even matter

I had to fall to lose it all

But in the end it doesn't even matter

~In The End - Linkin Park (Meteora)

♤

BRICE

I wake up in my bed, in my room, I feel a sense of relief. Even though I don't know how I got here, I'm glad to be home.

I still feel weak and tired but quickly get up when I don't see Soleil. I head for the bathroom and relax a little when I see her things are still spread out on the counter the way she left them. It is then that the memories from the night before come flooding in. Shit.

How am I even going to explain myself out of this mess? She caught me again this time red-handed. The look on her face.... Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I have to tell her everything. It's the only way she'll understand if I have any chance of her forgiving me - again.

Showers are usually relaxing but I find my anxiety building. I must have a sick sense of humour because Shaggy's "Wasn't Me" is playing in my mind. I take a little more time than necessary. I'm nervous to see her.

Knowing I must face the music, I go in search of her only to come to a stop when I see Tshepo on the couch with the TV on and a pile of plates and snacks on the table.

"What are you doing here?" I ask surprised to see him.

"I think what you meant is, 'Good Morning Tshepo. Thank you for cutting your night short to save my life G. You're the best friend anyone could ask for.'"

He gets up and stretches, Are those my sweatpants he's wearing? More importantly...

"What are you talking about?"

"Bro... You know what? I'm going to give you a pass because I was worried about you. For a minute I didn't think you'd make it." I stare at him waiting for him to start making sense. "I flew in with my boys from Balito for Swedish House Mafia's set at the club. They were pushing Molly and ecstacy but you know how I feel about pills. Pops warned me about street Methamphetamines, so the guys and I decided to go outside for a blaze of the good greens only to spot some white boy passed out.

"The black part of me wanted to mind my business but the curious white side won and I went to scope the scene. Imagine my surprise when I saw it was you. What happened man? You had me stressed the fuck out. I wanted to call an ambulance. Hell, I wanted to call your dad. Shit! I was about to dial mine but Hidde told me not to. I'm glad you're awake though 'cause you had me up all night playing nurse and checking on you every hour or so."

He yawns and heads for the fridge.

"Where's Soleil?"

"That's a really good question. No one has seen her since last night. I wanted to call the police but again, Hidde wouldn't let me. I can tell that the guys are keeping me in the dark about what happened between you two. What's going on here? Did she drug you? That's what Hailey suspects."

"What the fuck? No! It wasn't Soleil. It was Ariel. I have to find her."

"Who's Ariel? Sounds like you caught a lick."

I don't have the time to explain and leave for the main house. Soleil is missing and no one is doing anything about this?

Useless - the lot of them.

"Brice! Slow down. What's going on with you?" Tshepo asks trailing behind me.

"I need to find my girlfriend."

"Girlfriend? Damn, bro. When did that happen?"

I don't answer because now is not the time and I think she may be done with me. My mind races as I try to think of where she could possibly be. I hope Ariel isn't involved in her disappearance because I am going to kill her. Even if she isn't, as soon as I get my hands on her, I'll rip her apart. I swear it.

I find everyone gathered in the kitchen over brunch as if it's just another day. They all go silent when they see me.

"Brice!" Hailey says breaking the tension as she gets up. "I'm glad you're okay. We were so worried about you," she says hugging me.

I pat her back awkwardly then ask what's been on my mind for the last couple of minutes.

"Where's Soleil?"

Baptiste mutters something under his breath that I'm not able to catch.

"Why don't you speak up?" I challenge him.

"Enough Brice. I tried calling her last night, but she hung up when she heard it was me. I'm sure she's fine."

"I doubt it. The last time I saw her she was running after you while you were chasing Ariel. What did you two get up to Brice?" questions Baptiste.

The lopsided grin on his face sets me off. I swipe the contents of the spread on the island onto the floor.

"Fuck you! You did this!"

"You did this to yourself."

Hidde stands between us preventing me from putting my hands on the piece of shit. Both he and Tshepo escort me out and back to the pool house.

I immediately go to check the walk-in closet. Everything of hers is still there even her suitcase.

"Where the fuck is my phone?" I ask no one in particular.

"Check your nightstand," answers Hidde.

"Okay, man. I'm going to need some answers. Who's Ariel and why are you guys being so secretive about what happened last night? What did he do?" Tshepo asks Hidde.

I try to call Soleil but the number is unavailable. Damnit! She blocked me.

"Why don't you ask him?"

"Brice?"

"She caught me getting head from another... female" for lack of a better word, "named Ariel and before I could speak to her about it she ran off and that's when I realised I'd been drugged."

I try to summarise the sordid tale as best as I can. I wonder whether that bitch poisoned me when she bit my dick. I could see the teeth marks and welts when I was in the shower. They aren't healing.

Tshepo whistles and chuckles humourlessly before saying, "You fucked up."

I know that already. However, I'll do whatever it takes to fix this.

"So, why aren't you guys reporting this and laying charges on this Ariel chic?" Tshepo continues.

"It's complicated," I answer. "Hey, can I use your phone?"

"For what?"

"I need to call Soleil."

"Oh hellll to the naw. Oh hell to the no no no," he sings.

"Seriously Tsepho this isn't the time."

"Seriously Brice, no. Why do you care anyway? I thought I was the only nigger you cared about?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Remember when you asked to borrow my car at your Halloween party?"

"Come on man. I meant nigga as in my boy not nigger like the common black person."

"And you're still saying it like you've been given a licence – "

"You've never had a problem with me saying it when we rap along to tracks."

"Context man. I gave you a pass on lyrics when I was exposing you to a different culture in music, but you took it a step too far. On top of that, you cheated on a good girl who's black mind you. The way I see it, I'm saving my sister from an impending disaster. She couldn't have meant much to you if you had to get your needs met elsewhere. Let me guess, Ariel is white."

"Stop it Tshepo. Why are you making this about race?"

"Dayum. She is, isn't she? Welp! If Soleil decides to come back to you that's on her, but I'm not going to be an accomplice in this nonsense. And for future reference, don't say things you don't mean or that can be misconstrued otherwise."

"You don't understand. She had me in a corner!" I shout out in frustration.

He gives me the side eye.

"You know you're my homie and I love you, no homo, but it's about time Karma caught up to your ass. My father always told me that a man is responsible for his actions. You can do whatever you want, but you don't get to decide on the consequences of the choices you make. You've dealt with too many broads willing to put up with your shit. Looks like Soleil isn't one of them. I'm going to hit the shower." Tshepo calls back on the way to my bathroom. "I have a flight to catch."

His words sink in leaving me deflated. I know I hurt her. I lied to her. I did the very thing I swore to her I hadn't done only a day ago. This can't be how our story ends.

"Hidde, call her again."

"I tried to but she blocked me. Listen, you fucked up, Brice. Leave her alone. She'll come back when she's ready. Her things are still here aren't they?"

I run my hands through my hair in frustration and shut my eyes when I feel the sting behind them. My chest aches and a lump is forming in my throat. I can't believe this is happening.

SOLEIL

I'm a nervous wreck throughout the day as I get ready to travel. Even as I make my way to the airport and get on the flight, I'm expecting Brice to show up out of nowhere and kidnap me, whisking me off to his lair where he'll wear me down again into believing him.

I don't trust myself with him and I'm relieved when I land in Atlanta and see my cousin and uncle holding up a board with my name as well as a teddy bear and some flowers. I break out into a smile for the first time in what feels like forever.

My cousin rushes forward and engulfs me in a hug. "Soleil!"

"Estelle!"

"I missed you cuz! I couldn't believe it when dad told me you were coming today."

"I've missed you too! You're still as beautiful as I remember"

I pull back to look at my cousin who's three years older than me. I haven't seen her in almost a decade. She still looks the same, but I can see the changes in her appearance.

Her features are sharper in comparison to the baby face I remember of her. Her light brown eyes shine bright and her head of defined coils and curls fall down her to her waist. I used to envy her looks back when Gogo kept my hair in braids and wouldn't let me put on makeup.

"Stop hoggin' my niece Elle," says her father who embraces me next.

"Hey, Uncle Don!" I eek out as he squeezes me incredibly tight.

"Let me look at you." He holds me at arm's length. "Beautiful. You got the best of them both."

His compliment makes me choke up. I nod my head and try hold the waterworks back scared that if I start they won't stop.

"Thank you for meeting me on such short notice."

"It's no problem at all. We're family and have been looking forward to your arrival since you told us you would be spending the holidays. I hope you're hungry because your aunt has been up all morning cooking up a feast! I told her it was just you coming but Lord knows that woman doesn't listen," he mumbles the last part.

I smile even wider. "I can't wait. I'm starving!"

The anxiety suppressed my appetite, so I didn't eat much on the flight. We make it to the house and Uncle Don wasn't exagerating about a feast. Now that I'm home safe my stomach reminds me of it's existence rumbling at the sight of bacon, waffles, chicken, grits, biscuits, eggs and freshly squeezed OJ.

I'm seated between my uncle and his wife Gabrielle. We've been eating and catching up inbetween. Time zones are wild because even though I left around 10PM I landed around 8AM despite being on a 17 hour flight.

I do a little happy dance when I take another bite of the chicken and waffles drizzled in hot honey sauce. I understand why they call this soul food. My mood has done a complete 180.

"This is so good Aunt Gaby!"

"Why thank you, Sunny Bear. I'm glad someone appreciates all my effort." A chorus of 'Mom' and 'Honey' goes up in protest. "I just have to know, where do you put it all?"

I laugh at that because I don't know either. Sure part of it is genetics because I've seen Aunt Michelle eat and she's still lean. However, I try to eat healthy on most occasions unless there is an ocassion then I can't let good food go to waste. It also helped that when I attended Milton we had Phys-Ed 3 times a week and had to walk to our classes located in various buildings across the estate. I swear the architect did that on purpose.

The thought hits me with a twinge of nostalgia. Wow I can't believe I'm done with high school!

The chatter dies down when Estelle's younger brother walks in.

"Theodore, good of you to make an appearance. Your cousin is here," says Uncle Don.

I get up and move to hug him.

"Theo!" I shake him from side to side. The last time I saw him he was just a kid. He's only a year younger than me but still.

"Jeez, your tall! So not fair." I pout playfully.

"How you doing cuz?"

He smiles down at me with straight white teeth and those signature light brown eyes they got from their mama.

"Exhausted from the jet lag but I couldn't turn down the food."

I head back to my seat and only then do I notice that the rest of the family doesn't look too happy to see him. I've had enough drama in the past 24 hours to last me a few months so I act oblivious.

"How's Africa?"

"South Africa is great! You should come visit me when you're done with school. Someone explain to me why your school year runs from September to May instead of January to November?"

"Well Sunny Bear, back in the day when most people still worked the land parents relied on their kids for farm labour. Some didn't even want to send their kids to school as it would affect their harvest. So, in an effort to compromise, the government decided to close schools for the summer so the kids would be home to help their parents when they were needed most," explains my uncle.

"Wow! That's depressing."

"That was life. You kids have it so much easier nowadays," says my aunty.

"Yeah right. Like it's so much easier to be a desk monkey. Most of what they teach us in school is useless information anyway. Might as well drop out."

"Not now Theodore," says his mother giving him the eye from across the table.

"Come hell or high water, you will be graduating next year even if it means I have to drag you to school every morning kicking and screaming," adds my uncle.

"It's my life. Why do you people care what I decide to do with it?"

"We're your parents and as long as you're under 18 you're still a child."

"And as long as you remain under this roof, you'll remain our responsibility and live by our rules."

Theo abruptly gets up and storms off with his plate.

"I'm sorry about that, Soleil. He's fallen into the wrong crowd," says Aunt Gaby.

My uncle scoffs. "What he needs is an old-fashioned ass whoopin'. He doesn't know how lucky we are. Trying to go back to the streets I worked my ass off to get out of."

"He's just going through a phase. Moving here was an adjustment," Estelle tries to defend him.

I don't claim to know what Theo is going through but I'll make it a point to speak to him after breakfast to see what's up. I try changing the subject to lift us out of the somber mood that's descended upon us.

"I was pretty young, but I remember watching Christmas movies and picking names out of a hat to see who we'd be buying gifts for. Do you still have those family traditions?"

"You remember that?" Uncle Don asks looking a little surprised.

"Well, I remember Mama giving you a gift and Daddy giving one to Theo. Mine went to – "

"Estelle!" my uncle and aunt finish my sentence in unison.

"Wow! You have the memory of an elephant," says my cousin. "I'm sorry, but that snow globe broke after a few months."

"You broke it?"

"It fell!"

"Let me head upstairs and see if I can find that sorting hat," says my uncle getting up.

"I think we should decorate this year," says my aunt getting up as well. "Let me come up and help you look for the things."

"If you're done here, we can head upstairs and I'll show you to your room. Welcome home!" says my cousin with a dramatic flair.

2024 / 08 / 03

WC: 2913

Why Tshepo gotta be so petty when his friend is in distress? 🤧

Brice is really going through it from all angles 😩 C'est la vie. When it rains it pours 😔

+

From the onset, I wrote Brice as a privileged white guys who doesn't care what others think. He doesn't think things through either. He'll say what he wants and do what he wants. He's equally disrespectful and ungovernable to everybody! Only life can teach him.

But his don't care attitude is also the reason why he can pursue and date Soleil so openly. He does not give a flying fuck about others. He's impervious to social pressure. It's a double edged sword.

Brice is privileged in every arena and I'm not talking about "white privilege". He is an attractive man that is physically dominant and is the true definition of old money (nobility). I've met people like this and you learn to pick your battles because they will say things that are out of pocket. They don't get it and never will. Even my boy Tshepo is tired LOL