Kisses

"Can you believe it's already two pm?", I giggled and wheezed while speaking.

"I have to believe it. The clock says so.", Emir said softly while I rested my head on his shoulder.

"We just sat here throughout the night. Don't you have to go home and get your beauty rest?", I asked and held onto him tighter.

" I can go but an octopus is currently clinging onto me."

I laughed out loud.

Oops! I noticed just then. I had also put my feet up on his ridiculously expensive trousers and was currently on the verge of groping him.

The sugar coma I was currently in was making me loopy.

I looked up at his handsome, handsome face and those beautiful grey eyes, so heartless and cruel to all the others around him.

"What?", he asked stroking the hair gently from my face.

"Nothing.", I said still unable to move my eyes away.

What would I have done this year without him?

"It must be something if you are looking at me like that.", he said still whispering.

So close. He was so so close. It would be so easy to kiss him. If only my heart was brave enough to cross the distance again.

"Like what?", I asked leaning into his touch. My head rolled back involuntarily as his fingers touched the sensitive spot behind my ear.

"Like you see his ghost in my eyes. Like you want to kiss me but you can't bring yourself to. ", he said.

I went deathly still.

"Emir.....", I said shrinking away from him.

He smiled again. It wasn't beautiful. It was bitter.

" Never mind. Good night.", he said and tried to get away from me.

"STOP."

He did. There was something in my tone that snapped him to attention.

We had circled around and around and around this topic.

I freed the knot of hair from the base of my nape.

Then I took hold of his fingers and guided them to the base of my skull.

"Feel it?", I asked.

The ugly, raised scar was hidden from view but I could visualize the moment I received it with startling clarity.

"My husband gave me that scar as a reminder of what would happen if I disobeyed him. But, it also symbolizes the greatest gift of my life. He made me what I am today. He is the reason why I fight against the world to protect my family. He taught me never to bow down to men like him."

"For so long, Emir, I did not let anyone in. Then suddenly my world turned upside down. Ethan came in and swept me off my feet like a summer storm and then you. You! I hated you. Then that hate turned to want. I do. Want. You."

I unzipped the front of my hoodie. Slowly. His eyes followed the trail of the zipper as carefully as the artist's eyes would travel along the stroke of a brush.

His eyes darkened. We were still in the living area and even though it was secluded, dimly lit and it was early morning, anyone could come down and see us.

I was wearing a black bra inside. Strictly for support. Nothing fancy.

I took his hand and placed it on my chest.

"Is this what you want? Because I am ready to give it to you?", I said strangely numb. " Tonight. Now. Here. I am not saying no."

Yet, my cheeks felt wet. Was I crying?

I didn't want to know. I wanted to be strong. I didn't want him to pity me.

He should sleep with the Boss Lady, Sana Bianchi. Not the fucking mess, that I was now.

He blinked furiously. His eyes became glassy. His throat worked as if he struggled to say what he wanted to.

"Take me.", I said but he couldn't hear it because it was muffled by my choked voice.

His eyes closed.

I pressed his hand deeper. He could feel the heat of my skin. I was burning up for him. Yet, my tears would not stop.

" Take me.", I begged again as I pressed my forehead to his.

As salty tears mingled and hearts broke on our lips, I found the courage to close the distance.

The kiss tasted like tears. Probably because he was crying too by this point. But, I didn't know that. All I knew was that I wanted to forget. I wanted to forget with him.

This night was perfect.

He kissed me with the savagery of a man dying. He kissed me and kissed me and kissed me. He devoured me like a man possessed.

He kissed me like he wanted me to forget where I ended and he began. His embrace was suffocating me but strangely I didn't want to come up for air.

His hands were tangled in my locks, mine in his as he went down on my neck.

"This.", he said roughly. "This scent of Chanel 5 and sweat and you. It has driven me crazy since the day you walked into my office."

I laughed out through my tears.

"I smell like antiseptic, Emir. And baby powder.", I said trying to stop panting.

He was on me again, kissing and exploring me again with his artist's hands.

"Bit of that too.", he agreed lavishing my neck with another one of those neck kisses that had my brain melt into mush.

I was lost again......until I felt a snap across my chest.

"What are....what are you doing?", I asked confused.

Emir pressed his forehead to me and whispered roughly,

"I want you, Sana Bianchi. Make no mistake that, I want you more than anything I have wanted since I lost the two halves of my heart. I was a dead man walking but you brought me back to life. Make no mistake that I want you."

"Emir....."

"But I will not have you like this. Not on this sofa, not in the shame of the night and not when you are vulnerable. I will have you in the light of the day.", he said.

Then he smoothed out my hair and placed his hand on my stomach.

" I will have you with all your heart, all your messiness and your babies. I will have you as you are and keep you forever. ", he promised.

He gently fixed up the zipper and pulled my hoodie back in place after kissing my bare shoulder.

"Do you remember that you promised to give me one thing I asked for without question?", he said as I wiped my eyes.

I remembered that I given him that promise in exchange of free rein over the hiring decision.

" I do."

"I want to ask something from you.", he said, his cheeks wet with tears.

" I know.....that I don't stand a chance when compared to Dr. Ethan Trent. I know he is the love of your life but promise me.......promise me that if it comes down to choosing one of us, you will give me a chance. That you will consider me to love you and your kids.", he said clutching my hands in his.

"You don't even know my kids.", I said dumbstruck.

"I want to. If you will allow me to. I want to know your kids. Be a part of their life and be a part of yours. I want you to know me and all my secrets too."

"You tempt me. By God, you are determined to break every promise I ever made.", I said as I rested my head on his chest. His heartbeat matched the pace of mine.

"I only wish that you had made those promises to me.", he answered.

"I can't make promises. All I can tell you is that I care. I care about you and I want you."

"It's enough for me.", he said and kissed my nose.

The piercing cry of Isidora shattered the moment.

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