The Baby Nightmare

No matter how much you think you are prepared for it, the coming of a baby hits you with the force of a running train.

Your world is turned upside down.

You kiss goodbye to eight hours of sleep.

Relaxation is a thing of the distant past.

Work-life balance can kiss my ass because the way it was going, I would not get rest until I dropped unconscious.

All this was topped with Josh returning home from the hospital on the condition that a full-time nurse was going to be with him to take care of him.

We had to fix the ramp at the entrance to get his wheelchair up. Everywhere, I looked around my own house, I saw a death trap. There were too many sharp edges a d architectural calamities that could hurt Esther.

It had been years since Joshua's birth. The rooms were not baby-proofed since Josh had not been born in this house. In my tiny one-room apartment, I hadn't had to worry about all of that as the space was too little to actually let him do anything wild.

This house was a monstrosity. My mind went to all the gothic novels that I had read about children falling from the stairs or windows.

Fuck!

I was too young to die of a heart attack.

"Stella, my darling Stella, this house is a baby nightmare. I ABSOLUTELY CANNOT RAISE A CHILD HERE. This place is giving me the heeby-jeebies. ", I said to my housekeeper.

" I couldn't agree more, ma'am.", she said buying her lip as if to stop a smile from taking over.

"What do I do?", I asked, horrified that I hadn't had the foresight to think my decision of bringing Esther to this house.

" Luckily for you ma'am, you have a checkbook and a bank account with enough zeroes to hire an architect or a dozen. Perhaps, I should ask your assistant Lola to draw up some names.", she suggested.

"Ah! Can't forget the billions.", I said.

"Oh! We also need to set up a nursery and a guest room. Simone will be moving in to help me with the kids.", I said.

"Simone LeBlanc, ma'am? As in Mr. Andre's ex-wife, god rest his soul?", she asked wide-eyed.

"Yes, she is apparently bored with the high life in Paris. When she heard about Isidora, she squealed. She wanted to help me raise her and proposed to come to LA. Something about having grandchildren. I offered her a room in this colossal monstrosity. It's not like I don't have enough on my plate.", I said.

"It's a good thing, ma'am. You will need all the help you can get.", she said. " I will inform the staff to get it ready."

"One more thing, ma'am. Do you want me to hire a nanny for Isidora?", she asked.

"No. No nannies. I was going to go on maternity leave after Isidora came home but Simone insisted that she wanted to help and the time was too crucial for me to actually take a break. I needed to be in action."

She nodded.

"Since breastfeeding is not an option for her, I have asked Jules to pump it out and send the bottles from the rehab centre. Ask Myers, to pick it up routinely.", I instructed.

"Also get the diapers, feeding bottles, clothes, milk, wipes and powder, toys and some formula for tonight. The list of medicines, I have emailed to you. Set up the nursery. Get William to help you. Jesus! People have nine months to prepare for the coming of a baby, not nine hours!"

She nodded and left.

I had taken the day off from work.

Now time to rest.....eh! I mean work.

_____________

Nine hours later

I dropped on the sofa, my legs unable to work anymore. Exhaustion was weighing down on me.

Putting my hand to cover my eyes, I yawned massively. Five days of not sleeping because of this Jules' ordeal and before that Emir's fashion show had wrecked me.

I had not felt this way in forever.

I was briefly considering running away to Antarctica, screaming.

When we had come home from the hospital, with Isidora in my arms and Josh on Georgiana's lap, I had felt a sense of contentment, that I hadn't felt in forever.

Then Josh had not wanted to be taken into the house in a wheelchair. He had cried and I had ended up carrying him in my arms struggling to hold back tears.

When he had whispered in my ears, why he would never walk again, big fat tears had rolled down my ears and I had cried for half an hour, my head on his tiny lap.

Luckily, Simone had arrived at that moment, showing up a day earlier. She had taken me in for a hug and said to me fiercely, words that I would never forget as long as I would live,

"Be thankful to God that your child is alive. See your son, not his wheelchair. Learn to accept him if he is to accept himself. Be his mother, Sana. You left this house with one child, you came back with two. There is only occasion to rejoice and no room for sadness."

I had straightened up then, taking deep breaths as Georgiana bounced Isidora on her arms gently.

"Querida, all will be well.", she reassured me. " We have done this before."

"Thank you George. I appreciate you doing this. I know you would much rather be with your wife.", I said.

" There is nowhere, I would rather be. Besides, Laura says this is good practice before we adopt.", she said with a smile.

"Wow! You are going to adopt?"

"Not right now. But, we were thinking about it. Seeing Josh, I just thought.....life's too short. We will take in orphaned kids give them a home", she said.

"That is wonderful news, George. I can get you in touch with someone who works with such children. Are you sure you don't want to have your own?", I asked gently.

" No. I don't. There are too many kids in this world who go without a home. We can make a difference to at least two or three of them.", she said, determined.

"I have been too self-absorbed all this time. I am sorry. I really haven't even asked you how you were, how you coped up with my problems. I am Self-centered as fuck.", I said highlighting another one of my epic failures.

" You are. We know firsthand how bad you can get. But, we also know how good you can be. If we ever were in any trouble, you would be the first to come and help.", she said still stroking Isidora's blond locks gently.

I smiled faintly, grateful for the support.

"I come bearing salvation.", Simone said grinning. She had wine glasses in her hand.

" Ah! I needed this. Actually, bring me the bottle. I think I need it all.", I said.

Georgiana handed Isidora to me to lay in my lap while she took the glass and tasted it.

"Mmmm.....Barossa Valley Shiraz.", she said. " The flavour profile is astonishing."

"Only the best wines for you so that I can bribe you into staying.", I joked.

She kissed my head gently and plopped down on the sofa.

" To good wine and hell-raising kids. God! She can scream.", she said. "She was inconsolable."

"This seems so much like ten years ago when we were in your tiny room, with Josh on your lap and me on the laptop building the website.", she mused.

" Speaking of, did Josh go to sleep?", I asked, rocking the sleepy angel

"His meds are very strong. They knocked him out immediately.", Simone said as she put her feet on the coffee table.

She looked tired as well. There were circles under her eyes.

My head lolled against the comfortable give of the sofa. I extended my hand to touch Simone's.

"And how are you doing?", I asked. " I haven't had the chance to ask you. How was Paris?"

She thought about it for a couple of moments. Then sighed and drank the wine.

"It was good.....and not good. Not for me. Not anymore. Don't get me wrong. It was glamorous and dazzling as Paris always is. I met the designers I wanted to meet. I walked ramps. I partied the night away. You know we were divorced for a long time. It was as it always was and yet......", she said, her eyes glassy with memories.

I smiled a knowing smile.

"It feels like a betrayal. How can everything remain the very same when the person you wanted it with is not here with you. How can you lose everything and the world go on laughing?", I completed.

She took my hand and kissed it.

" My darling Sana. You know too much grief.", she said. "Don't be so wise. It kills me to see you suffer."

"We all want love without the suffering. But to love is to suffer the pain willingly. Ethan taught me that.", I said feeling strangely hollow.

"When is he coming back?", Georgiana asked.

" The year is almost up. We promised each other we would give it a year with as less communication as possible."

Stella came in through the foyer.

"I am sorry to interrupt but Mr. Aslan is here."

Oh!

"Well, he is not gonna stand at the door, is he? Bring him here.", I said.

It made me happy that he had come here. I wanted to show him my piece of heaven, the place I called home, my children and my family.

He stepped in looking every bit remote and unapproachable, coldly beautiful. He had on a Burberry coat and without a doubt a white shirt underneath it. Still in his formal trousers and Oxfords, he looked dashing and debonair and every bit a put together CEO.

Here I was, disheveled and in my ratty, old and sweaty tee and messed up hair, with a baby on my lap.

I was the literal opposite of the Director of Marketing in every way.

Yet, I knew that beneath the veneer of coldness, there was a beating heart, a smoldering dormant volcano that had slept for years after the death of his loved ones.

He smiled at me and God it transformed his face from beautiful to breathtaking.

"I came bearing reinforcements."

I laughed as softly as possible when I saw the pizza boxes.

My stomach growled like a lion.

"So you are the rake that has been playing with our Sana's heart.", Simone said smirking at him.

"Can't say anything about her heart, but we certainly love to play. Amongst other things.", he replied and kissed her hand.

Charming bastard!

Simone laughed too and suddenly it made her look twenty years younger. It was infectious and I found myself grinning as well.

"If I knew you were related to Simone LeBlanc I might have hired you earlier.", he said winking at me.

I smacked his head with the pizza box.

"I hate you."

"No, you love me for bringing you pepperoni pizza.", he said and kissed my hand like he had done with Simone's.

I did love him. For bringing me pepperoni pizza among other things.

"I would love to gorge myself on pizza but I am afraid I have rather much to discuss. Starting with maternity leave, seeing as my boss is here.", I said snatching my hand away but not before he stole another kiss.

"You can have your maternity leave whenever you want. Although, I need you to stay on top of things and come in occasionally for meetings.", he said waving his hand as if it did not matter one way or the other.

"I am here to take care of your babies, Sana. You need not worry.", Simone offered.

"I don't want to take advantage of you staying here.", I insisted.

"By all means, take advantage of me. I am happy to be a grandma as long as I can be to the little ones. I couldn't help you with Josh, I was always too busy. Now, I really want to do this. For Andre as well. You and Juliana are both mothers now. I understand that you had to fight bloody for this little one. I want to be here for you now.", she said taking my hand.

"Laura works from home too. She can come over and give you a hand.", Georgiana offered.

"Now, moving on to official matters. Georgiana has been asked to step in as Interim CEO until they can find a suitable replacement.", I said.

" What are you going to do about that?", Emir asked.

"Nothing. Not until Monday. I know Jane is going to give me a call to form the board but this time, I will be more careful. I need to have maximum stake so they can't outvote me again as CEO.", I decided.

"There's 4% still that we need to but to get 50.1%. We are talking about tens of millions of dollars.", George said.

"We need someone in our favour.", I thought. "But I can't think right now. Let's just stuff our faces with pizza and drinks. Oops I cannot drink! I have baby responsibility."

We ate and laughed and I relaxed and unwinded after what was probably one of the longest days of my life.

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