: Part 5 – Chapter 26

Ronan: Emergency.

Ronan: I said, emergency, fuckers.

Cole: Now what? You put juice in your kid’s milk again?

Xander: Or you messed up Teal’s workspace and she’s coming after your arse with an axe?

Aiden: Remi needs to get older so he can film that shit and send it over.

Ronan: Premièrement, my Remi would never betray me. Deuxièmenent, fuck you all. Finalement, it’s none of your previous nonsense. I don’t know what to get Teal for our anniversary. I took her everywhere and she doesn’t like material shit. Give me inspiration.

Xander: Last anniversary, I bought Green a piece of land on which she can build a new children’s centre. Best decision ever. And best sex ever that night.

Ronan: Teal has no use for a piece of land. Dammit.

Aiden: Buy her jewellery. Something she can have on all the time.

Ronan: She doesn’t like jewellery. How about you, Cole? What did you get Silver on your last anniversary?

Cole: Pretty sure a baby.

Xander: *laughing out loud emoji*

Aiden: Are you knocking her up for sport, Nash?

Cole: You of all people should shut the fuck up, King.

Aiden: She was my fiancée first.

Cole: Just like Ron was Elsa’s fiancé first and Xan was her boyfriend.

Xander: #Burn.

Ronan: Hey, fuckers. Me. Pay attention to me. I’m the one who called this up. Where’s Levi anyway?

Levi: Over here. Don’t care.

Xander: Have you thought about asking Knox? He should know what his sister would want.

Ronan: Jackpot! You’re promoted to being my best friend, Xan. I’ll hang the award in your office tomorrow.

Xander: No thanks.

One day later…

Cole: How did it go, Ron?

Xander: He’s been MIA for an entire day. Do you think he’s dead? Should we file a missing person report?

Aiden: Damn. There should have been someone who filmed the whole murder scene.

Ronan: I’m here. I’m not dead, but you all will be next time I see you. And no, there was no murder scene.

Xander: So? What happened? Since when do you like suspense?

Ronan: I can’t hear you over the halo clouding my head. Piss off.

Cole: I guess that means it went well?

Ronan: Well? Try fantastic. Try…adventurous.

Aiden: A threesome?

Ronan: Fuck you, King. I wouldn’t share my Teal, even if I was offered the world.

Cole: La Débauche?

Ronan: Ding, ding, ding. One word, fuckers. You need lightening years to reach my level.

Ronan: Time for round two.

Aiden: How do you know if your wife is cheating on you?

Cole: Easy. You don’t know.

Xander: Elsa is cheating on you?

Ronan: Hold my fucking beer. This shit is interesting. Is it me? Did she say my name while asleep? I knew she couldn’t have possibly gotten over me.

Xander: And me. I know I should be sorry, but I’m kind of not.

Aiden: Shut the fuck up, both of you.

Cole: What happened?

Aiden: She’s spending more time with him than with me.

Xander: That’s bad.

Aiden: And she ignores me when he’s around.

Ronan: May he rest in peace. That is, if you didn’t kill him already.

Aiden: That’s the thing. I can’t kill him.

Xander: Why not? I’d do it in a heartbeat if anyone took up Kim’s time.

Ronan: Who is it? We’ll do it for you. Lars learnt how to hide bodies.

Cole: It’s Eli.

Xander: WHAT? You’re jealous of your own fucking son, King?

Aiden: He takes her time and he’s being a little shit about it, making a face at me behind her back.

Cole: I hate him a little less now.

Aiden: Why the hell do you hate him? What’s wrong with my son?

Cole: The fact that he’s your son. And that he keeps roaming around my Ava like a shadow. I mean it, I’m breaking his legs before he comes near her.

Ronan: I like him, though. If I had a daughter, I’d definitely give her to him. Speaking of which, Xan, you still didn’t change your mind about Cecily for Remi?

Xander: Fuck you, Ron. My Cecily won’t be anyone’s but ours.

Ronan: Your loss, mon ami. There’s Glyn and Ava and they’ll fight over my Rem.

Cole: Leave my daughter out of this or you’ll regret it, Ron.

Levi: Submit a proposition with favourable conditions and I might consider giving Glyn away.

Ronan: Now we’re talking. Let me tell Remi the news. He should be okay with it since I taught him to keep his options open.

Ronan: Who the fuck stole my stash of weed?

Xander: You had a stash of weed and didn’t tell us?

Levi: Why would you think it’s one of us?

Ronan: Because it was there last night when we had Dad Day with the kids while the women went shopping. And by the way, I hate Dad Day. I don’t like Teal alone out there.

Cole: She wasn’t alone, technically.

Aiden: Says the one who was obsessively checking on his wife.

Xander: Says the one who actually took his son and went after his wife.

Levi: Says the one who suggested we all do the same.

Ronan: Bottom line, Dad Day sucks. That’s why I needed the weed. We should do something to stop them from going out alone.

Xander: Nah. Green says they need their alone time away from us and the kids.

Ronan: Away from us?

Levi: Us? As in, ALL OF US?

Xander: I know, right? I didn’t think Kimmy would ever want time away from me.

Aiden: You’re the one everyone needs time away from. And Astor. Nash, too. Levi, sometimes. I’m the only one Elsa doesn’t need time away from.

Cole: Is that why she hid when you went to find her?

Aiden: That’s because she was trying something on and saving it as a surprise. Speak for yourself. Silver hugged Ava and not you.

Cole: It’s the hormones, idiot. She tries to control them in public.

Aiden: Yeah, right.

Xander: *laughing out loud emoji*

Levi: *laughing out loud emoji*

Ronan: *laughing out loud emoji* Now, back to my weed. Who touched it?

Xander: Where did you hide it?

Ronan: Where do you think? Underneath a flower pot. I got the good stuff and hid it from Teal because she doesn’t like its smell in the house. I spent a lot on this stash and got it from overseas. It’s my weekly break.

Cole: What a shame for it to go down the drain.

Ronan: You fucking…

Xander: Uh-oh.

Cole: Remember when you burnt the book that I spent so much time and effort to get from overseas? Well, payback’s a bitch.

Ronan: Connard!

Aiden: As I always say and no one believes me, Cole is a petty little bitch.