CH 2
The Case of a Childhood Friend That I Haven't Talked to in a Long Time is a Pushover
I thought I would never have a friendly conversation with her again.
I never thought I would have the chance to talk to her again like this, not only in class, but also with my childhood friend â¦â¦ who is a famous and beautiful girl in the school.
âHeyâ¦..Why ?â
ââ¦â¦â¦â
Why, I couldnât make a good reply to that question.
If I didnât answer anything, shirasagi would give up. However, seeing her pained face, it was also painful to let her go up in flames.
[Really, Kasumi is no good without me!]
[Uuâ¦.thatâs right. So stay close to Kasumi forever, okay?â
[Iâll take care of you! Iâll always protect you!]
[Yes!! I love you Kazuki!!]
Come to think of it, we had this exchange a long time ago.
Now that I remember such a long time ago, maybe I was concerned about it in the back of my mind, too. I chuckled as I remembered that time, and Kasumi tilted her head to see what was wrong.
âNo, sorry, I was just reminiscing about the past.â
âThe old daysâ¦.yeahâ
Kasumi used to be a child who laughed a lot.
I wonder when it started though, that I stopped smiling so much like this. I saw a fair amount of smiling when I was talking with my friends, but I still smiled less than I used to.
ââ¦..Hey shirasagiâ
âWhyâ¦..Why donât you call me by my name?â
â¦â¦
Shirasagi is â¦â¦ Kasumi has done nothing wrong. This is my problem. Itâs a common adolescent problem that comes from an inescapable feeling of helplessness. As if waiting for my answer, Kasumi doesnât take her eyes off me. She keeps looking at me with her beautiful eyes.
ââ¦â¦I think itâs time to go home, donât you?â
Looking at the clock, it is almost eight oâclock.
No matter how close to home she is and how quickly she can get home, I think her mom would be worried if it were any later.
âThatâs fine. They said I could stay the night.â
ââ¦â¦Ha?â
âSo there is time. I wonât move until Kazuki talks to me.â
âSuch childish â¦â¦â
âBecause Iâm a kid â¦â¦ Iâm a kidâ¦..â
Well, sure, weâre just kids in high school. â¦â¦
But maybe Iâm a little happy. Thatâs not because Iâm happy that Kasumi is staying at my house, but because the part of her that is stubborn like this hasnât changed at all from the past.
ââ¦..Nothing much has changed for Kasumi. Regarding whatâs inside.â
âInside? Nothing â¦â¦ has changed. Itâs Kazuki who has changedâ¦â¦.You used to be by my side all the time, and you said you would protect me all the timeâ¦â¦.!â
â¦â¦ Hey Kazuki, can you keep quiet when you give a girl such a painful look, even though youâve known her since childhood? No way thatâs good. I let out a sigh and looked at Kasumi again.
ââ¦â¦ Itâs a lousy reason. Really lame reasons.â
âWait. Iâm coming over there.â
Kasumi got up and walked next to me.
Kasumi, with the chair she was sitting in right next to me, sat down and grabbed my arm as if to say she would never let me go.
âYes. Tell me.â
ââ¦.Youâre not going to let me get away with this.â
âOf course. Tell me everything. Tell me the reason for this nonsense.â
The distance between us was very close as she stared at me next to her.
Come to think of it, I remember liking citrus aromas and such. That was one of the reasons why the nice aroma tickled my nostrils. Of course, the sweet scent of womanhood mixed in made me very nervous.
ââ¦â¦, I felt kind of out of place.â
âOut of place?â
âUnlike you, who had not changed at all, I began to feel â¦â¦ that I was out of place beside Kasumi, who was becoming more beautiful and â¦â¦ more popular.â
Itâs a trivial reason, isnât it?
Itâs a common story â¦â¦ about feeling left behind by a childhood friend who is becoming popular.
âWhen I was a junior high school studentâ¦you still confessed to me a lot, didnât you? Seeing that made me think that Kasumi was really popular. She said that she was envious of having such a beautiful childhood friend, and above all, you. There were times when I was told that it didnât suit me, even if it wasnât meant to be offensive.â
ââ¦That kind of thingââ
[That kind of thing]â¦..
Surely from Kasumiâs point of view, thatâs what itâs all about â¦â¦ but Iâ.
âIâm sorry. I shouldnât have said that about something like that. It was â¦â¦ insensitive, even though I can see now that Kazuki was concerned about it.â
âNoâ¦.Thereâs no need to apologize. I mean, itâs all my fault.â
Yes, itâs all my fault.
It is all my fault that Kasumi, who had been standing next to me for so long, left me on her own because she felt inferior to me and made me ask such a question.
âSo â¦â¦ this was the reason why I left my childhood friend Kasumi. I left Kasumi, my childhood friend, for such a trivial reasonâ¦â¦ I just felt inferior on my own.â
Again, I think it was a really lame reason.
Well, I donât think talking about this is going to change anything. I donât know what Kasumi is thinking as she keeps her face down. But it looks like she is not going to let go of my arm after all.
âLet me check one thingâ¦..â
âAh yeahâ
âItâs not that you donât like me, is that right?â
Kasumi looked up, her expression serious.
I nodded my head a little, overwhelmed by the intensity of her eyes. Then Kasumi laughed for the first time since she came here,â¦â¦ or maybe itâs more accurate to say that itâs been a long time.
ââ¦â¦ because I always thought you didnât like me. Iâm relieved â¦â¦ Iâll check again. You really donât hate me, do you?â
âAhâ¦.itâsâ¦all this time, I really donât hate you.â
âI understand â¦â¦. Thatâs all I need to hear.â
Kasumi then stood up and opened the bag she had brought with her. Then she took out a pair of pajamas?ãAnd maybe lotion. I was so excited to see her.
âAre you serious about staying?â
Kasumi went straight to the bath.
Left alone in the living room, I stood at the kitchen table with dishes for two in my hands.
ââ¦â¦ that was seriously good. And I miss â¦â¦.â
In the past, we were both still small and I had never seen Kasumi cook. The stew and fried fish were not much for the amount of side dishes, but they were â¦â¦ really tasty and I was happy to talk to her for the first time in a while.
âWait, where will she sleep?â
I didnât think it was possible, but there I was, reliving my past memories again.
[Iâm going to sleep with you, Kazuki!]
[Understand. Then Iâll go get the futon.]
[I donât need it. Iâll sleep on the futon with you!]
[Hmmmm~, well itâs fine]
Nonononoâ¦.Is this it?
A few minutes later, Kasumi was in my room.
âYou donât have to ask me to bring the futon all the way over here. Iâll sleep in bed with you.â
ââ¦â¦ thatâs the kind of thing that needs to change.â
â??â
Is everything okay?
I was a little worried.