chapter 44

" Un Dilo ko sukoon de aye rab jinka haal tere siwa koi nahi jaanta"

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Author

Ever since I met you my life has turned upside down.......... everything messed up in my life ..... everything......bas dur raha karein mujhse aap.............., chandni said looking at abeer with teary eyes who was just standing there silently and looking at her.

She picks her dupatta and diary from the floor and went inside the room from the balcony door and immediately closed the door from inside.

Chandni slided against the door and  put the diary dupatta on the floor then brought her knees close to her chest.

He ...kisse_d me............, chandni murmured and touches her swollen lips with her trembling hands.

I didn't...even stopped him............as usual i lost myself to him.......,

She said in frustration and put her hands around her knees and buried her face in her knees.

While abeer remains stands quietly there for some time where he was before as he didn't how to react whatever happened a while ago.

He looked at the closed door from where she went inside with tears in her eyes because of him.

I ....hurted her.... aga_in..........., Abeer murmured and felt a strange pain in his chest, thinking about what chandni had said few minutes ago and remembering her crying face.

How can I just kissed her without her permission?............., he said and rubs his both hands on his face in frustration.

I need to talk to her ............, he muttered and taking a long steps he went towards the balcony door and knocked.

Red........open the door........i know shouldn't have done that..... please open the door....... please....., he said requesting and knocked on the door several times.

Please at least answer my words ..............., he said when he heard no response from the other side.

Jaayein ....yaha_an se.................., chandni said in a broken voice and on hearing her broken voice Abeer felt silent for second and gulped.

(Please go from here)

Look .....i am sorry .......i know shouldn't have kissed you without your permission..........but please ....... open the door..............., he again requested her in pleading voice and knocking on the door.

Mujhe.... nahi karni ..aapse baat...... jaaye_in yahan se............, chandni said.

( I don't want to talk to you.....

go from here)

I am not going anywhere..........I am waiting for you...... here .................,abeer says, sits on the floor next to the balcony door and rests his back on the wall.

Chandni who had ignored Abeer's words and hid her face again in her knees, and in mean time she didn't when while crying she fall asleep sitting on the floor like this.

Morning -

Chandni opens her eyes with a slight headache and finds herself on the ground and in less than a second she remembers whatever happened that night and then touched her lips.

He kissed me lady night ................, Chandni muttered and closes her eyes as she remembers this and inhaled a deep breath.

she stood up from the floor and then went towards the mirror in her room, stand in front of it and looked at herself

Chandni pov

I saw that my hair is completely scattered,my eyes were swollen.

And then I started collecting my hair and at that very moment I saw marks on my neck.

Last night.........he did again?..........., i muttered slowly and inhaled a deep breath while touching those marks.

I went to my wardrobe, took out a black simple suit from it and went to the bathroom to freshen up.

After some time i came out from the bathroom after freshening up while drying my hair with towel.

When I came out of the bathroom I was going towards the mirror when attention went to the dupatta and diary which were kept beside the balcony door on floor after placing the towel on the chair

i went towards there and picked them all and placed them on the bed.

I went in front of the mirror and stand infront of that and started applying conceler in those marks.

I looked at the balcony door from the mirror at the same moment I remembered something.

"I am waiting for you here" ..............,

I remember his words what he said at night.

No.......no he will be in his room...why he will wait for me here the whole night ?...........no he must be in his room............, i thought and started drying mine hair again with a towel.

after a few seconds i don't know what happened to me i just put that towel back to the chair and went to the balcony.

I opened the door and went to the balcony only to get shocked.

Mr ..Rathore.............., i murmured slowly looking at him who are currently sitting on the floor, his back was resting on the balcony wall and he was eyes was closed.

I moved towards him with slow steps and sat in front of him.

Uthiye please.................., i called softly and touched his shoulder to wake him.

Author

When he doesn't wake up chandni moves her hand towards his face and touches his cheeks softly and again called him.

Abeer's opens his eyes feeling a soft feathery touch on his cheeks and finds her in front of himself

He immediately straight himself and looked at her with apolitical look and at the same time chandni immediately retracts her hand.

Red .......i am sorry......I know i shouldn't have kissed you without your permission. .........., abeer says looking at her as he thinks she is angry with him because of the kiss.

Forgot it ......nothing happened last night .............,

Chandni says and immediately stood from there.

Please....aapne room' mei jaayein .........., Chandni says without looking at him as she knows that even if she looked at him for mare second  she will lost herself in front of him and immediately run to her room.

But not like the night,he lets her go away from himself, he follows her into the room and holds her hand to stop her and stands infront of her.

Tell me what happened.........why are you reacting like this? .......what is bothering you ...........,he asks looking at her who's standing there like statue.

Tell me?..........why are you running away from me?...why do you want to go away from me?.............,

He asks and pulls her towards himself in his arms.

I don't want to talk to you......and not everything can happen as per your wish....... like whenever you want you can leave me then came back for nowhere only to leave me again......................,

Chandni says as she wiggles in her arms and tried to remove herself from his hold.

Please forgive me .... every person deserve a second chance ...... give me chance to make everything perfect between us ...........,

He said while looking at her who's still wants to get out of his hold.

I have no complaints with you.......it just i don't want to bounded with you............., Chandni says looking at his shirt button and stops wiggling in her arm's.

Why you're doing this to me and yourself......... Your faith kept us in this strange accidental marriage for two and half year without meeting with each other.... and whether I believe it or not i knew somewhere in mine heart during these years that I am married..................,

Abeer says and places his hand on her chin and lifts her face.

I just want to know suddenly what happened that you kept distancing yourself from me ........why?..........., Abeer said looking at her.

Because........It's better for both of us to stay away from each other..........., chandni said and removed his hands from his chin and looked other side.

No..... it's not good.....it doesn't feel good to be away from you.........., abeer  says and hugs her tightly.

Why don't you understand Mr Rathore........... it's not right for us to be together........we are not right for each other........ we are not made for each other .......... , chandni said and again tried her best remove herself from his grip.

Why? ....... it's not right for both of us to be together? .............., he asked and makes her stand on his feet

Tell me .....Red... ..WHY?........,

He said in frustration.

Because I am a village girl, not even beautiful and educated... even orphan to....and I have no qualities only have flaws............., chandni says looking at him with soft eye's.

We are perfect for each other...if we weren't made for each other we wouldn't have gotten married.......and we would never have met at first place.............., Abeer said and touches his forehead with hers and they both felt silent for second.

Please understand i don't want to be with you....and ...leave me please...........,

Chandni says and puts her hand on his chest and tries to push him away from her.

Mr Rathore.... please marry someone else who is perfect for you...who is capable of becoming your wife..........., chandni said and on hearing this, he pulls her towards himself and their bodies collided with each other.

Will you be able to see me with someone else?.......Will you see anyone else so close to me like we are at this time?.....will you see any other women wearing sindoor and mangalsutra of my name?..... will you able to see anyone else bearing my baby in her belly?.......will you?..........

you won't be able to .......then why are you doing this to me and yourself?............, Abeer asks chandni who's felt frozen listening this for second.

Whatever you're feeling towards me maybe it's guilt and attraction..........,

If you don't share the same feeling towards me the way I do.......then it's okay but please don't make fun of me and give the tag of attraction and guilt.........i am not teenager that i don't know about my own feelings towards you........., he said and left her.

How strange it was that you were waiting for me when I was not ready to accept you......... and when I wanted to be only yours... you were not ready to accept me................, he said looking at her and without waiting for a second he started going towards the balcony door.

Seeing him going out of the balcony room and as every step he was taking away from her she felt hurt and regretful and all the words spoken by Abeer had made her restless.

Author -

Chandni sits on the bed quietly and thinks about whatever happened few seconds ago.

And after few seconds she takes her phone and immediately books the train ticket but finds that there is no ticket available for today so she books it for tomorrow.

She puts the phone on the bed and again quietly sat on the bed, comes to her senses when she heard the knock on the door.

She gets up from the bed and immediately corrects her appearance and then goes to open the door .

Chandni....let's go for breakfast ....., aditi said standing outside the door.

I don't feel like having breakfast today..............., she said.

Just do your hair and come with me girl'......Otherwise i will carry you on my back............, Aditi said smiling.

Chandni knew that she would not agree so she fixes her hair and goes downstairs with her.

When Chandni reaches downstairs near the dining room with aditi, she heard the voices of Abeer and his mother.

Maa I don't feel like having breakfast......i will........and I'll be home right before my birthday celebration........., he said to suhana.

What happened to your eyes...If you are also not feeling well then you don't need to go........ Someone else will go............  , suhana asked in concern looking at him.

I am fine......I just didn't sleep well.... that's why........,he lied.

Where are he going?........., chandni muttered to herself but aditi heard it.

Dad is unwell ....... aur chote papa kaa nahi sakte....because of some works here......so that's why bhai js going because the deal needs to be signed............., aditi explained her while chandni nodded.

After that everyone sits on the dining chair and so does Abeer after much persuasion from suhana.

Chandni looked at abeer from the corner of her eyes who's having having breakfast his quietly and just he just looking at his plates.

As soon as chandni takes a bite of food, she chokes on that food and starts coughing.

Hearing the sound of Chandni's cough, Abeer immediately puts the spoon in the plate and pours water on his glass.

He moves that glass towards her and looked at her in concern.

All the people who gets worried seeing chandni coughing doesn't notice this thing except one person who's noticing them from month's.

Chandni takes that glass of water and immediately starts drinking while suhana who's sitting beside her starts caressing chandni's back .

And after some time chandni gets well and after everyone has dinner.

Maa ...i should leave............,

Abeer said while standing up from the chair while chandni just looked at him.

Everyone went outside to drop Abeer to his car but chandni stands far away without anyone noticing.

When Abeer sees Chandni standing there, he excuses himself and goes to her without anyone noticing.

Abeer stands in front of her while Chandni lowers her eyelashes seeing him standing in front of her.

He bends towards her and kissed her forehead.

Kaash ....aap aur aapka Dil mere Bina reh nahi paaye .............., Abeer said in whisper while tugging her dupatta and without waiting for second he left from there.

Chandni sees Abeer going and follows him towards his car.

Abeer stands near the car and looked at chandni one last time without getting noticed by his family and then opened the back door of the car and sat inside the car.

Mr rathore.............,chandni muttered in her breath looking at him sitting in the car.

She places her hand on her chest and watches the car drive away from her sight.

Abeer will probably come back by night ...........or tomorrow morning............., dadi said looking at the youngster and placed her hand on Chandni's head who was still looking in the direction from where Abeer's car had gone

Don't worry before his birthday party he will be with yo.....i mean with us.............., dadi said with smile and caressed chandni's hair lovingly who's still absentmindaly looking at that direction where Abeer's car had gone and was thinking about whatever happened in the morning.

After saying this, Abeer's grandmother also goes inside living all' the youngsters and after a few seconds later seeing chandni standing there silently abeer's siblings went towards her.

What happened?.............., aditi asked and shrugged her shoulder and bringing her back to her senses.

Hm....na_hi ..kuch nahi hua........., chandni said looking at them and shooked her head in no.

Then let's go inside?.............., Ahana said and they all start going inside.

Adi who notices that chandni walking silently and still lost somewhere he  slowly goes near her and whispers to her.

Dii ..is there something going on that I..... the great Aditya Singh Rathore don't know about?..............., Adi asks slowly looking at chandni while raising his one eyebrow and still going towards living room.

On hearing Adi's words, Chandni looks at Adi in confusion.

I mean...are you sad because of bhai  departure? ..............and is that something something happening between ...you and Bhai?..............., Adi asks in a teasing voice and blinks his eyes three four times looking at chandni.

On hearing this, chandni stops in her track and clutches her end of her dupatta in nervousness and fear.

Chandni looked at Aditya with courage who is still looking at her teasingly.

No.....nothi_ng is happening .........and tha something..some_thing..toh....bilkul bhi ...nahi............., Chandni said while fumbling with her words and glared at him.

I was just joking ....... haha hahaha............, Adi says looking towards chandni and laughing loudly.

Seeing Adi laughing, Chandni glared at him in mild anger and he stops his laughing session.

I just said that to divert your attention from the thing that was making you sad diii ..................., adi said looking towards chandni who smiles half-heartedly.

I am not sad................, chandni said and tried her best to put a smile on her face and takes her hand towards his hair and ruffles.

Diiii......you messed up my hairstyle ............, adi said and immediately starts correcting his hair style.

Is your intention to stand here only?............., Chandni asks looking at adi who shook his head in no.

Then let's go inside?..... Everyone went inside ................., Chandni said and Adi hummed response and both of them started going towards living room.

Chandni goes to the living room with Adi and sees all the family members and Riwa sitting on the couch and talking.

Adi drags chandni along with him and they both sit on the couch.

Chandni tries her best to interact and be able to integrate in conversations with everyone but her heart which was being ruled by someone from these three years was restless and missing the actually owner.

After some time, Chandni excuses herself and goes to her room and closes the door behind.

Chandni started walking to and fro in her room and started rubbing her chest lightly while taking long deep breaths but even then she felt a strange pain in her heart.

Chandni goes towards her bed while removing her dupatta from her neck and throws it on the ground in frustration and lies down on her stomach on the bed then buries her face in the pillow.

Pagal hogyi hu mei.........keh kuch rahi hu........ aur dil kuch aur chah raha............,

Chandni muttered and again buried her face in the pillow and let that frustrating tears flow out from her eyes.

But isn't it what I wanted ?..........him being away from me ............,

She said in frustration and after few minutes she falls asleep while crying and looking at the place where Abeer sleeps every day and touching that place.

Chandni keeps thinking about Abeer the whole day and even while having dinner with everyone, she does not talk to anyone even doesn't have her dinner properly.

For the birthday celebration of the abeer, everyone sit in the living room except adi and waits for the him because they thought that the he will come home by 12 o'clock.

Why didn't he come back till now?..............,Chandni thought looking at the time on her phone and saw only 13 minutes are left for 12 o'clock.

Look everyone Bhai came................, Adi said coming towards the living room with his laptop.

On hearing Adi, Chandni immediately looks towards the entrance but to her surprise Abeer is nowhere to be seen.

Not there.........here in my laptop on video call.........., adi said looking at his family members who's looking towards the entrance and places his laptop on the table infront of elder's ladies.

You all come and sit here... this way bhai will be able to see everyone..............., Adi said and sits down on the floor in front of the sofa where all the elder's ladies are sitting.

Ahana Aditi immediately goes and sits there next to Adi from one side on the floor and all' the elder man went and stood behind the sofa.

Chandni who's going to sit next to adi at that very moment Rewa sits there and there is no space left for her.

Did i lost the right to see him even from a distance?.............,

Chandni muttered to herself as whatever happened in the morning, everything was putting her in vulnerable state she started looking at her feet and glup her tears.

Chandni .......come here .... sit........, But at that very moment Abeer's grandmother calls her and patted the couch where the space was left.

Chandni looks at her and nods she goes there and sits next to her on the sofa.

She looks at the laptop screen while fisting with her fingers and carefully notices abeer and for the first time she saw him in glasses and like always in black pant and shirt which sleeve remains folded till his elbow and his messy hairs.

Bhai what happened ? ...where are you lost?................, Adi says to gain abeer  attention who keeps looking at the blank laptop screen or at a particular person.

Nothing......the deal has not been signed yet ......... that's why I didn't ca........., abeer says but Aditi's voice interrupts him.

Bhai only 5 minutes are left first let's cut your birthday cake first.................., Aditi says and at the same time ahana brings Abeer's birthday cake and puts it on the table.

Adi starts putting candles on the cake but accidentally leaves a red candle which is still lying on the table.

Adi.......Red .....,Abeer said first looking towards Aadi, then towards chandni and then towards that red candle.

Haaa ........, adi said.

Haaa ......., at the same time chandni also muttered looking at the laptop screen absent mindly.

Adi .....you forgot that red candle ................, abeer says and chandni immediately becomes conscious of what she is doing and where she is sitting

She thanked god in her mind that no noticed that and lowered her eyelashes and starts looking at her fingers which are placed on her lap.

He put that red candle on the cake and check the time on his phone.

It's 12 o'clock ..... Bhai turned 26 .........our brother turned old now .........., adi said laughing and at that moment Ahana Aditi hits him on the head and he fake cried.

What?.........., Adi says and touches his head where both of them hit him then looks at both of them while they both points something with there eyes.

He understood and nodded then looking at the laptop the trio started signing a birthday song.

Happy Birthday to you ....... happy birthday to you bade bhaiya.......

Riwa di sing with us ....he is also like your brothers ................., adi whispers looking at Reeva who's just started making faces listening this while adi again started signing birthday song.

Happy birthday to you.............., the trio was still singing the birthday song when suhana voice interrupt them.

Stop three of you........ and you guy's forgot to light up the candles......., suhana said and other started smiling  while chandni also giggled listening this.

the trio stopped signing the song and immediately start lighting up the candles.

Bhai make a wish............, Adi says after lighting up the candles.

There is no need for that........cut the cake ............., abeer said.

No.....first make a wish bhai............, Ahana said while chandni kept listening them and admiring him from the distance.

What if i ask for a wish and it doesn't got fulfilled?.............., abeer said and rested his back on the headrest.

Bhai who knows it might fulfilled someday ........maybe it will be fulfilled by tomorrow itself.............., adi says and all the family members supported adi in this.

Okay.........., Abeer said and after closing his eyes and he make a wish.

Now blow the candle.............., abeer says and his siblings blow the candles and then all three of them together cut that cake.

On video call abeer looks at his family quietly celebrating his birthday while chandni looks at the laptop from the distance away from the camera without being in front of that screen and starts shaking and taping her feet on the floor in nervous.

She remains in this thought whether she should wish him a happy birthday or not after whatever happened in the morning and even if it has to be done then how.

How do I wish him a happy birthday?...... i just hurted him in morning..............

Chandni thinks while looking at her bangles and tracing them.

After a few seconds of silence, chandni muttered this slowly " i should it's his birthday...... a special day for him".

Chandni sat on the floor and was about to turn the laptop towards herself when Riva comes and turns the laptop towards herself seeing this chandni immediately takes her hand back and looked other side.

Chandni pov -

Happy Birthday Abeer............, Reeva di wishes him and i heard he thanked her in curt tone and disconnected the video call within a few seconds.

And at that very moment Adi comes to me with the spoon of cake.

Dii .....be it something something or... nothing nothing ....between you and your bhai......... but still you should eat this delicious cake of bhai's birthday..............,

Adi said in whisper and before i could say or react, he put a spoon full of cake in my mouth and ran away from there.

Does he know?........no ...he must be just said it like this ...... nothing else.........,

I thought tried to stop myself from overthinking.

"Adha mei Ishq leker aaya hu

Aadha sa Ishq tujhe laana h

Thoda qreeb tere aaya hu

thoda qreeb tujhe aana h "

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(You guy's might get next chapter by evening◉⁠‿⁠◉ )

Bye byeee ❤️

Your writer

AN