Chapter Forty

ASH

He quietly took a seat across from her. She was frowning down at the parchment, the pen poised in her hand, but no ink had touched the paper yet.

“How do you say goodbye without actually saying goodbye?” she asked him sadly. Her mournful tone broke his heart a little.

“Key, just tell them you love them,” he said softly, “and that you’re happy. That’s the truth in this moment, right?”

She looked up at him and nodded, a small smile on her lips. He stood and kissed the top of her head, hearing the pen beginning to scratch on the paper, and turned to look out the window as she wrote to give her some space.

There was a slight fog lingering in the air, the last remnants of the chilly morning. The late morning sun had burned it almost completely away, leaving the faintest haze in the air.

It gave the forest an ethereal, inviting look, and he took it as a good omen for what was to come when the sun set, when those woods would be filled with the glow of the full moon.

He lost himself in the view, imagining the woods filled with wolves in just a few short hours. What would Keyara look like in wolf form? He pictured her as the same chestnut color as her hair, her blue eyes in a wolf’s face.

The scratching of the pen finally stopped, and he pulled himself from his daydream as he turned back to see her folding the letter she had finished, a satisfied look on her face, and a feeling of peace radiating from her.

He was glad she had been able to find the words to express what she had wanted to say to her makeshift family.

He walked back to the desk, removing a small key from his pocket. He leaned over her and unlocked the top drawer and motioned for her to open it. She did, slipping the letter inside.

Her fingers brushed the package containing the portrait of her mother he had secured there days earlier, looking up at him.

“Thank you for keeping it safe,” she murmured.

He closed the drawer and locked it, slipping the key back into his pocket before reaching for her hand.

“Come, eat some more. You need to regain your strength,” he said, as he beckoned her to follow.

KEYARA

She took his hand, following him back into the common area where breakfast was coming to an end.

Luca and Mateo were gone, as were some of the other men, but a handful—those that had just come in from the morning patrols—had taken their place.

She sat back down at the long table, nibbling from her plate of leftovers, making an effort to speak to each one and introduce herself.

They were all respectful and polite, but there was also an element of detachment to their interactions.

She wondered if that was due to her position as the mate of the alpha, or because they all knew she might not make it through the night.

When they returned to the room some time later, she asked Ash about it, hoping the men weren’t upset about being here.

She knew they could perhaps resent being involved with her transformation, knowing it was so looked down upon among their kind.

Ash just laughed softly before replying with amusement. “You’ll get used to it, love. You’re the luna. You hold a high rank in the pack, just below me. They’re too respectful of the order of power to be overly friendly.”

“I guess I’m just used to Luca,” she grumbled. “He’s friendly.”

Ash laughed again. “Yes, Luca is…something else.”

Keyara grew suddenly serious, picking at the threads in the hem of her dress. She couldn’t stop the dread that was creeping in as the hours of the day passed, ticking down to the full moon.

“What will happen tonight, Ash?” she asked him, her nerves stretched tight.

“I mean, you and Luca have told me what to expect for the transformation, but after that? Assuming I make it through? Will I be able to control myself as a wolf?”

He took her hands, rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand soothingly.

“Yes, Keyara, of course. You are your wolf, and your wolf is you. I know it’s hard for you to comprehend right now, but you are one being, and you will be completely aware and in control.”

“We will all be there,” he continued. “I will be right beside you, and Luca and the other men will be close. Once you begin the transformation, the pack mind-link will kick in.

“It is the same for all the young wolves when they have their first shift. Everyone is there to support them and help them through it.”

She nodded, feeling a bit better. She leaned over and kissed him, seeking his closeness one more time, before tonight changed everything.

They made love for hours, slowly and passionately, savoring the time they had left together, knowing it might be their last.

***

ASH

As the sun began its descent in the sky, he could feel the anxiety heavy in the air all around him. The day of a full moon was always a bit tense, but this was on another level.

The men were all high-strung from being passive witnesses to Keyara’s suffering over the last week. They were all able to feel it, to some extent, the pack bond a subtle connection between all of them.

Keyara was obviously extremely worried, though she was doing her very best not to show it.

She had accepted her fate, knowing the alternative had been death, though Ash still felt a strong sense of guilt over the way things had played out.

Luca joined them before dinner, once more giving her a rundown of how to open her mind to the change. Keyara was quiet but concentrated on his words carefully.

Ash stood behind her and rubbed her tense shoulders as Luca spoke, not being able to add anything to his beta’s sound advice.

The three of them made their way to dinner after the final lesson, knowing the results were out of their hands at this point, and all that was left was to let it play out. Everyone was quiet while they ate.

Mateo and Alton were out on patrol, but the rest of the men kept their eyes on their plates. Clearly, none of them wanted to be the one to interrupt the tension in the room.

Keyara was the first one to break the silence, clearing her throat and asking, “Anyone have any big plans tonight?”

Luca barked out a laugh which made the other men chuckle, and conversations slowly picked up around them.

He nudged her, smiling down at her, happy she was able to keep a sense of humor about the whole thing.

“I couldn’t stand the quiet,” she mumbled.

She wasn’t eating much, and Ash’s nerves were affecting his own appetite as well.

“Walk with me?” he requested.

She nodded, standing and heading to the door behind him. They walked out into the fresh air, the setting sun creating an orange glow around them.

They walked a little way into the woods, until he came to what he was looking for—a large boulder that had always made the perfect bench.

He sat down and pulled her into his lap. He felt her kick off her boots, curling her legs up into his lap. In the distance you could make out the mountains through the trees, cutting into the setting sun.

She leaned against him, nuzzling against his chest, and Ash tightened his arms around her. “What’s your home like?” she asked him quietly.

“~Our~ home,” he said, “is built into the side of that mountain.” He pointed to one of the peaks, and she squinted against the sun, following his finger. “It has the most amazing views.”

“It is half castle and half cave,” he continued. “We used the natural caverns in the mountain and expanded them to suit our needs. Or rather, my ancestors did,” he clarified. “It’s been there for over two hundred years.”

“It sounds kind of…dungeon-like,” she said abruptly. “Sorry, I’m sure it’s great…,” she corrected quickly, embarrassment flooding her emotions.

He laughed, not at all offended by her words. “You would think, but we’ve made it very homey,” he told her.

“There are some natural tunnels that let in some sun and air. And our eyesight is much more sensitive, so it doesn’t seem as dark as you would think. You’ll see,” he told her, stroking her arm as he held her.

“I hope so,” she said wistfully.

“Hey, none of that now,” he said sternly, trying to keep her from slipping into pessimism. “Everything is going to be fine.”

She nodded and set her jaw, opening her mouth to respond, but instead she cried out in sudden pain, suddenly rising out of his lap.

~“It’s starting,”~ he called to his pack.

KEYARA

She wanted to answer him, to assure him she wasn’t really thinking the worst, when a ripping pain tore through her jaw.

She felt herself being scooped into his arms and when he set her back down again, she could briefly register she was in a clearing in the woods, the soft grass tickling her bare feet. The full moon was shining above them.

Luca and the rest of the men were there waiting, scattered in a loose circle with her and Ash in the center.

“Tonight we welcome Luna Keyara into the pack,” she heard Ash announce in a powerful voice. He had one hand on her arm holding her steady, and she was glad for his touch. She tried to focus on it.

“We are here to witness her first shift into her wolf form and assist her in any way we can.”

“Yes, Alpha,” the men replied in unison. They suddenly turned their backs, and for a moment she was confused, until she felt Ash begin to untie the laces on her dress.

She felt the cool air on her skin as the dress fell off her shoulders and puddled around her bare feet. She shivered at the sudden change.

There was another wave of pain in her jaw; it felt as if it was trying to dislocate itself. She started to grind her teeth, muffling a cry, fighting against it.

~“Don’t fight it, Key,”~ she heard Ash’s voice in her head as his hand clasped her cheek, demanding her attention.

She locked onto his serious green eyes with her own, nodding and holding his gaze as if her life depended on it. She briefly registered he had shed his own clothes as well.

She tried to relax her body as much as she could, holding his gaze, needing to focus on something, anything other than the pain.

Their eye contact broke as her back suddenly hunched, the muscles ripping and changing. She could hear herself screaming.

~“I’m here,” ~she heard. ~“I’m with you, Keyara.”~ He repeated it over and over in her head, giving her something to cling to and focus on as Luca had instructed them.

She could feel the bones in her arms and legs shattering, reforming into a foreign shape, with excruciating pain.

She was suddenly on all fours, and the pressure in her jaw exploded. She could feel sharp teeth growing from her mouth and could taste blood. Her screams morphed into growls and whimpers.

The pain seemed to last forever, until suddenly it stopped all at once. She opened her eyes, blinking against the night sky, and took in Ash’s beautiful white wolf in front of her, intense relief coming from him.

She heard Luca’s wry voice.

~“Welcome, Luna.”~

Suddenly other voices were in her head.

~“Luna.”~

~“Welcome.”~

~“We welcome you to the pack.”~

She looked down to see two dark brown paws where her feet used to be.