Chapter 10 - the Confession

We stayed out there for a little longer, and then went back inside. We walked the hallways we had sped through before, and Thoridor asked me all about my childhood. I told him about my brothers, about my parents, about hunting, about my village — I told him all I had time to tell. I hadn’t even gotten to any of the important parts before we got to my room. “I still need to get you another room,” Thoridor said as we stood in my doorway, just looking at each other. “This one’s fine,” I said, “truly. It will give me something to look at if I can’t fall asleep.”

Thoridor leaned in a little, making me step back and press my shoulders into the doorframe. “I can’t sleep either,” he said quietly, “my mind keeps drifting to you. Ever since you got here — I think about you all the time. I worry if you’re safe when I don’t know if you are, and if I do — I am too caught up in picturing you cuddling with Warrian to go to sleep myself.” I shifted uncomfortably. “He makes me feel safe,” I whispered, and although I knew there was no reason for it, I still felt guilty. “I know,” Thoridor agreed, “and I appreciate him for it. But it’s still hard for me to get over. I should have just treated you better from the start, maybe then you wouldn’t have fallen for him.”

“Maybe,” I mumbled, “but he still makes me happy. And he has given me those same sparks you have, too, before. So maybe loving him isn’t all that crazy.” Thoridor furrowed his brow in confusion. “You’ve felt the mating bond with him?” he asked, “that’s impossible. When?” “The first night I slept beside him,” I replied, “in the makeshift servant’s tent, after you wrecked yours. It woke me up, the brushing of his fingers on my face.” “That was me,” Thoridor protested, “I came to see you. I touched your face — I couldn’t stop myself. Warrian was asleep, and I thought you were too.”

I raised my eyebrows in bewilderment. “You touched me while I was asleep?” I called out. “Just your face!” Thoridor protested, “you looked so… I just wanted to feel the bond. I hadn’t touched you without my gloves before. I just needed to feel it once, without letting you know I was your mate. You would have known something was up if you’d have felt the bond — and I couldn’t have you know about it. Not when I still needed you to go back home. I wanted you to find one of those human males and live a happy life with one. You would have never been able to do it after having felt the bond.”

I squared my shoulders. “You just have to find a way to ruin every good moment we have,” I mumbled, “you were doing well too. Why are you still keeping things from me? Can’t you see lying won’t get you anywhere with me? Nowhere good, at least.” Thoridor bowed his head. “There’s one more thing,” he said. “Of course there is,” I hissed. “Well, out with it, then. I’m done with all the secrecy and lies. And all you people seem to talk in riddles. What’s that about?” Thoridor shrugged. “I don’t know about the others. But I was going to say — it’s true, what I said to my father that first day. I don’t think you’re human.”

We were both quiet for a while, just looking at each other. “Why?” I just asked, eventually. “Your scent, first of all. You’ve never smelled human. Not even when you first got here — before I bit you. And then there’s the blood wielding — I don’t think that’s a human trait either, is it?” I shrugged. “I don’t know,” I mumbled, “I’ve only ever met a handful of people from outside of my village. Maybe other people do it too. And about my scent — I came straight out of an Ardanian lake when we first met. I probably smelled like lake water.”

“It’s not that type of scent — it’s not something you just wash off or cover up. Except by mating, of course. When we shared our blood, you started smelling like me.” I could tell Thoridor was trying to hide the pride in his last words. “So what am I?” I asked. “I don’t know,” Thoridor replied pensively, “I’d say we should go ask Aeloria, but I’m never letting you near her again.” I rolled my eyes. “I forbid you from seeing her, if I remember correctly,” I reminded him, before continuing, “do you actually think she eats whoever comes to visit her? And if so, why would people still go to her?”

Thoridor shook his head. “I don’t think she eats everyone,” he confessed, “all females who have gone to see her have made it out fine. But the males… I don’t think I have ever seen a male leave her tower.” “Then why did you go in there with me?” I asked, careful not to raise my voice too much. “And why did you allow Warrian to do so? You put us all in danger.” “We knew the risk,” Thoridor said calmly, “we wanted to keep you safe.” I huffed. “You weren’t too bothered the first time you sent me in there,” I hissed. “I had two guards follow you up there and two more posted on the roof, all watching you,” Thoridor said plainly.

“Oh,” I replied, caught off guard, “well, I didn’t need them. And as it turns out, I can blood-wield Aeloria too, so I think I’m good to go.” “You are too weak,” Thoridor countered, “maybe if you trained— no. You’re not going back there.” I scoffed. “Any other ideas on how to find out what I am, if not human, Sire? I think Aeloria is my only option, but please do correct me if I’m wrong.” Thoridor sighed. “I’ll think about it. Now get some sleep. Aricor will be here to train with you tomorrow.” Without saying another word, I turned around and stepped into my chamber. I wanted to close the door behind me, but Thoridor lingered in the doorway. “I hope you’ll come stargazing with me again some day,” he said lowly. It lit a small fire within me, and I turned away the crimson stain it left on my cheeks. “Perhaps,” I said, and then pushed him into the hallway and closed the door.