Chapter 4 - the Silence

Warrian had already pulled me into him, nuzzling his nose into my hair. “He’s just next door,” he whispered, “he’ll be back in no time.”

I tried to calm my breathing, as my ragged breaths were causing physical pain to my still-sensitive ribcage. I nodded, and tried to seem casual.

“I know,” I said, “I don’t care.”

“It’s okay,” Warrian said, “it’s just the bond. I know you don’t want to feel this way.”

“I don’t!” I shrieked, “it’s so unfair. I want to… I wish I could have avoided this. I should have drank your blood, War, in the kitchen…”

Warrian smiled joylessly. “It wouldn’t have made a difference,” he explained, “your body would have rejected it.”

Sweat began to bead onto my forehead as I felt my temperature begin to rise again. “I might need a bath too,” I said, wiping my brow with the back of my sleeve.

Warrian’s face clouded over for a split second. “Right,” he said, “come here, I’ll take you to him.”

“After he’s done, War,” I clarified, “I have no interest in bathing with him.”

Warrian looked relieved to hear me say that. “I’ll call Phaedra,” he said, “she’ll help you.”

“Or you could,” I blurted out. I scraped together all my bravery and looked up at him.

“Yes I could,” Warrian replied, his gaze darkening.

Suddenly, the door flew open, and Thoridor barged in. A toweling cloth hung dangerously low from his lips, and I had to physically turn myself away to keep from gawking at him.

“Looks like he’s done,” Warrian fumed, lifting me off the bed, “our turn.”

He stomped toward Thoridor, knocking him out of the way with his shoulder.

Thoridor lifted his hand, and touched my cheek.

A lightning bolt struck me, and I gasped for air. Surges of sparks washed over me, originating from the spot Thoridor had touched me, coursing through my veins and pooling somewhere deep within me. For a split second, Warrian’s hands on me felt… wrong. But then my mind cleared, and I realized what had happened.

“That’s why you always wear gloves,” I mumbled in realization, “is that why you didn’t let me touch you at the Sorael?”

“What is your problem, Thor?!” Warrian spat, stepping around him, “you said you’d let her make up her mind. Give her a fighting chance, you prick.”

He barged through the door, carrying me into the bathing chambers. “You’re the one taking her for a bath!” Thoridor bellowed back, his voice so low it made my insides vibrate.

“She asked me to!” Warrian yelled back, and kicked the door shut behind him.

We were alone now. Utterly alone in the bath chamber of Warrian’s underwater home. Elysora’s disapproving face popped into my mind, but I shut it out. Time to let go of my human inhibitions. She wouldn’t remember me anyway. Warrian reached into the empty bathtub, grabbing onto a small ring in the center. He pulled it upwards, and the entire bottom came up slightly, and water begin to spill into the tub. It didn’t take long before the entire tub was full of water. Warm water.

“How?” I asked Warrian, completely puzzled. “We’re in the lake,” he replied as if it made perfect sense. “All buildings are connected to a pressurized undercurrent system. Water pools into a chamber beneath the building where it’s heated by fire, and then can be used to heat the house, but also to bathe, for example. The founding King used his magic to establish it countless moons ago. It still works perfectly to this day.”

He gently set me down, and held me until I had found my footing. My legs were still weak from having been in bed for so long.

“Are you sure you want this? It’s okay if you’ve changed your mind,” Warrian said. He smiled his dimpled smile at me, and I couldn’t help but swoon at the sight. Thoridor might have our bond in his favor, but Warrian had my heart. He had been so good to me from the start — and he had chosen me. Sure, he had made his mistakes, but they had been to protect me.

I reached up, and took War’s face in both my hands. And then I kissed him. And the moment my lips touched his, my mind went quiet. It was as if there had been a constant humming that I had never noticed before — not until it was gone.

Warrian’s hands wrapped around my ribcage, pulling me into him. He pressed me into him until I thought I couldn’t breathe, but a small part of me wondered if that had anything to do with the suffocating silence in my head. Thoridor’s absence was deafening. And although he didn’t show up in my mind — I could still feel his disappointment. And I hated to admit it to myself, but it was killing me.

Warrian’s hands wandered down my body. His touch didn’t feel strange anymore — after all those nights of turmoil, they felt familiar and safe. But I couldn’t shake the feeling of unease that Thoridor’s touch had ignited. I reminded myself I wanted this — I wanted him. I gently broke away from our kiss, and glanced at the bath, which was full now. I looked down at my linen chemise, and back at the bath.

Warrian leaned in to brush a soft kiss against my lips. “Don’t worry,” he said, smiling sweetly, “I understand. It’s all very fresh. Go take a bath, I’ll be right outside if you need me.”

After the door had closed, the humming in my mind slowly picked back up. “You’re back,” I whispered into my mind.

“Yes,” Thoridor replied, “I didn’t want to hear you—”

“You can just switch it off?!” I asked, unable to hide the disdain from my voice.

“I couldn’t before,” Thoridor protested, “it just kind of happened when you kissed him.”

I felt the strangest mix of feelings, and I felt the burning urge to tell him how I had felt kissing Warrian. But I knew those feelings weren’t my own — they had been tempered with. His blood had tainted my ability to think and feel for myself.

And so I just said “Teach me. Teach me to switch it off.”