Shared pain (14)

I was back in my room when I took the phone in my hand and sat on the edge of the bathtub.

I feel I can't handle this anymore... I still hadn't told what happened to anyone.

And I feel I am keeping everything inside me for too long now.

All I wanted to do was one thing: call the person who knew me the most in the world:

My best friend Delilah.

"Hey, you bitch!" She exclaimed answering the phone.

I laughed: "Is this how you greet me now?"

"Yeah, since you're on vacation in Hawaii, and I'm not..." She replied, pretending to be offended.

"How are you doing?" I asked her.

"Studyng and studying and studyng again... But it's okay."

"You should take a break and breathe." I advised her in a serious way.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever... So how things are going with you?"

My silence said more than my words could do.

"About that... I have something to tell you." I said, breathless.

"I needed to process it, before telling it to you..." I added.

"Go ahead, I'm listening." Delilah replied more seriously.

It kept all my effort to tell my best friend everything I had kept to myself in these days.

Starting from Joe's unexpected departure, to my feeling of loneliness and discomfort.

To the fact that I was now alone with Bella.

How she had opened up to me... even though we didn't know each other at all,

and how I strongly empathized with her story.

"Shit, Ellie..." Delilah sighed.

"You should stop keeping everything inside..." She gently scolded me.

"Yeah, I know..."

"Listen, Ellie..." She began.

"Ok... your asshole boyfriend dumped you with a redhead in a luxury resort.

But think about it: you have a boat, a wonderful sea in front of you... not to mention your attractive body, and you're on a fucking island in Hawaii."

I blushed.

"I know, Deli, but..." I tried to fight back.

"Ooh, stop! Have fun! Enjoy your vacation! Think about yourself once in a while."

Suddenly I realized that maybe she was right...

What was my role in all of this?

I wasn't just the girlfriend, or bride-to-be, dumped by her boyfriend in a resort, as my mind wanted me to believe...

I was so blinded by pain and resentment that I could not rationalize my thoughts.

It was as if a black hole had absorbed my energy, enthusiasm, and motivation.

The truth was that I had everything my friend Delilah had listed for me and yet I was not making good use of it...

I had to change- I wanted to change that.

"Okey. I understand it now." I finally said with a sigh of relief.

"Hallelujah!" Delilah exclaimed, laughing.

"Listen - What is the redhead's name? Her full name." She asked me with a satisfied tone.

"And why do you need it?" I asked suspiciously.

"I'm going to check out her instagram, of course!" She answered in an obvious way.

I rolled my eyes.

Then I heard a strange silence for several minutes after I told her the name.

"Holy shit!!" Delilah exclaimed surprised, catching me off guard.

"Are you telling me that right now you are in Hawaii with this hottie?!" She cheered.

And I still haven't told her about that kiss with Bella...

"I happened to be..." I whispered shyly.

"Stop stalking her instagram, anyway..." I added.

"Say no more..." She laughed.

I coughed nervously:

"Actually, there is something more..."

Delilah remained silent, so I began to talk again:

"Bella and I , we kinda kiss because of a stupid game." I said all in one breath.

"Come again?!" Delilah exlaimed immediately.

"We had to share a kiss during Truth or Dare, the first night I met her." I said trying not to show any emotion.

"Are you telling me that you made out with this hottie of a girl?!"

"Stop it, it was just a stupid game!" I exclaimed defensively.

"And I didn't make out with her!"

Delilah continued to laugh satisfied through the phone.

"So you ALSO manage to kiss a girl..." Delilah burst out of laughing because she knew I handn't done it before.

My cheeks turnered red.

"And tell me... how was this stupid game, then?" She asked mischievously.

I knew her so well that I could decipher her expression even through a phone.

I still hadn't completely cleared my mind about that kiss with Bella.

I mean, it was just a kiss-game, nothing more, nothing less.

Yet, when I thought about it, I felt mixed emotions.

Like an unexpected gasp.

I just avoided thinking about it.

"Well ... I don't ... I don't know, it was ... unexpected?!" I stammered, not really knowing what to say.

I suddendly blushed. Again.

"Unexpected ... you say, huh?" Delilah repeatead, analyzing me.

"Stop psychoanalyzing me." I joked.

"When I will get my degree... you can have all the free psychological sessions you want..." She replied proudly.

Delilah was going to get a degree in psychology, that is why she likes analyzing things.

Delilah never gave up on her dream as she managed to follow her path with such a dedication and passion.

I was so proud to be her friend.

Delilah keep talking to me:

"Seems to me that she is a good person, other than being gorgeous..."

I actually think Dalilah is right about her.

"Ooh, I wish I was you right now, Ellie... but if I really were you I wouldn't marry that... him." She continued to talk in a nasty way.

I huffed: "Deli, stop ... We've been through this talk too many times."

It was no secret that Delilah and Joe barely tolerated each other.

She made a nervous sigh: "Yet every time you never listen to me... Look you don't have to marry him if you don't feel ready. You have twenty - three years old, for God's sake!"

I remained silent.

"You are are not alone, Ellie..." She said, in an understanding way.

I clutched the phone tightly in my hands as I stared thoughtful at the floor.

"With what happened to you, Ellie, you are such a strong person, you should be aware of that, by now..."

I was tired of being told that... yet I knew Delilah was sincere to me.

"Why don't you try opening up to Bella? Like she did to you... It might help you... you two have things in common, after all."

I knew what Delilah was referring to, and it was true,  for better or worse Bella and I had some sort of pain in common.

Some sort of shared pain.

Pain that I just knew I wasn't ready to tell.

"And while you're doing that - you SHOULD investigate her relationship with her boyfriend as well, will you?" Her tone of voice persuasive.

I hinted a laugh: "I'm not your fbi agent..."

"Just do what I tell you." She scolded me.

I have to admit it... I was curious too.

I didn't know anything about Bella and Leo as a couple.

I sighed: "Love you Deli. Thank you for helping me, as always."

"I'll see you at the end of this week..." I added, hinting that in four days it would be THE big day.

"Yeah, yeah." Delilah replied me hastily, as if she wanted to avoid the "marriage" topic.

"Have fun in the meantime... will you?!" She laughed mischievously and I rolled my eyes, again.

Making this last recommendation, we said goodbye to each other.

Oh god, I was so relieved and proud to call Delilah my best friend.

As I looked at my phone I saw Joe's text that I've been avoiding.

> I texted him.

>

He wrote back.

I'm getting tired of his little games and how he keep acting like nothing happened... while I stand here suffering.

> I responded immediately.

I didn't have time nor the inclination to wait for another text of his, so I immediately entered in the shower.

I was feeling strange, somehow.

I am going to do what Delilah told me, and what Bella already told me...

I will try to have fun from now on, beginning from the fact that I have to start thinking about myself a little more, which I rarely do.

So rarely.

I really don't know if I can do that.

But this is definitely going to be a good start.

A/N

Hi guys! Hope you like Ellie's best friend Delilah so far. 😂

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