"Turn off the chaos." (19)

I finally reached Bella.

In the middle of the sea.

I was out of breath, my heart was beating wildly, but not because I was tired.

Bella was in front of me, staring carefully in my direction.

She looked doubtful, but surprised at the same time.

I can tell she was now breathing calmly.

The drops of water were falling flawlessly on her candid skin still lit by the sun.

The way her long red hair cascades down her shoulders...

...her slightly moistly lips.

Those lips that a few minutes ago were on mine... in an overwhelming, unexpected feeling.

I took courage to speak first.

"Why did you do that?"

I involuntarily raised my tone because my voice was shaking.

I just hope that she is gonna take that question like a pure intererest question, not like a refuse one.

"Because..." She sighed.

A few moments passed before she spoke again.

"Believe me, I tried to, but... I couldn't take it anymore." Her tone more confident now.

We glanced at each other in desbelief, as if we couldn't believe what was happening.

I could feel my heart was beating so fast, like it was no longer used to.

Bella shook her head: "I am feeling so confused..."

She bit her lips in a nervous way: "I couldn't stop thinking about that kiss... the first night."

A slight smile appeared on her lips.

I lowered my gaze, feeling my cheeks turning red.

"I can't get it out of my head." Bella confessed in a fearless, yet fragile way, that makes my heart suddenly rush.

A sweet gasp hitted my chest.

"Why are you here...?"

She asked back.

Her calm and focused tone of voice concealed some hope.

Oh... she had every reason to ask me that question.

"Because..."

I closed my eyes, my hands clenched in a fist of fear.

I try to rationalize... as I always do... but I can't. Not this time.

This is stronger than me.

I took a deep breath.

She waited for me.

"...I couldn't take it anymore, either." I said faintly in a whisper.

I almost couldn't catch my own voice, but I really, really hope that, she heard me, at least.

I hesitantly looked up, already convinced that all my efforts went in vain.

In that moment Bella smiled at me spontaneously, her gaze brightening, her expression growing in intensity and happiness.

I began to breath again.

She slowly moved closer to me.

Still too far away... for my urge of having her right next me.

I slowly took a few steps, supported by the sea, to break that space between us.

Bella was right in front of me, now.

Was I dreaming, again?

I didn't want to pull back anymore, I didn't want to waste one more minute.

Underwater I took her arm and entwined my hand with hers.

Bella smiled warmly.

A tender, affectionate smile.

She didn't know that my hand was shaking.

Little did she knows that my heart was beating wildly.

Or maybe she knew everything... it was as if her eyes could read inside me.

The gentle breeze of the wind and the ripples all around the sea... as we came closer and closer to each other.

The tips of our noses touched trepidatiously, her panting sigh on my cheek, mine on hers.

"May I?" Bella asked me softly.

Then she giggled, shooking her head: "I mean... I should have asked you earlier, I'm sor-"

I nodded immediately, interrupting her monologue.

She said no more...

We kissed again.

Slowly, gently, sweetly.

As our bodies pressed again each others,

her left hand supported my neck, the other one on slipped on my back.

I squeezed myself into her chest, gripping my arms around her back.

Her lips were still warm.

I felt a shiver.

It was like a dance of lips, a hot symphony of breath and touch.

It was pure, magnetic, uncontrolled energy.

When we stopped, we looked at each other and burst into a liberating laugh, embarrassed like two little girls who did not how to act.

I stared shyly at her face, with the sun illuminating our skin.

Her full lips half-open in a charming smile.

Her long copper hair wet at the ends.

Her rosy cheeks and her high cheekbones.

Her interery face it's an harmonious blend of symmetry.

Bella smiled, touching softly my cheek.

"You are beautiful." She whispered looking into my eyes.

I widened my gaze, surprised and astounded, that she was thinking that.

"Me?" I asked.

"Yes, you."

I embarrassedly hid my face in the crook of my neck.

" Thank you." I whispered, blushing.

I smiled: "I think that... you are very beautiful."

For me it is an obvious fact, that anyone would agree... because it really was.

However, Bella smiled warmly and shyly at me, as if it was the first time she ever heard that and she could barely believe it.

And that doesn't make any sense...

We stayed hugging, tightly, in those calm waves in the middle of the sea for... I don't know how long.

She kissed my cheeks.

I squeeze myself into her arms.

At some point I lost the conception of reality.

And if this is not a dream, I really don't know what it is...

Bella smiled as she looked at the shore, then looked at me:

"Do you want to go back to the beach?"

I nodded.

She took my hand and held it firmly until we reached the beach.

My hand stopped shaking.

Bella laid down in the towel, I sat next to her.

Her hand approached my back, starting to gently touching my hair.

I gasped at that sweet contact.

"I would really like to know... what are you thinking right now." She asked me more seriously.

What was I thinking?

My mind was a blank canvas of disordered thoughts and desires.

I stared at the sea, in search of answers, and I found the solution to her question in that blue and limpid water.

"I don't want to think about anything, right now. I'm fine where I am..." I said, turning to smile at her.

"Is this okay to you?" I asked, then stepped back to look at the peaceful expression on her face.

"I should be the one asking you, Ellie..." She whispered, while hiding a wistful smile.

"But..." She continued

"What is it?" I asked immediately.

Bella sighed, her expression more concerned and doubtful:

"Ellie, you don't want to think about anything and I'm really happy about that, but... if this feels wrong to you, if you don't want this, just tell me and I'll stop."

Her hand suddenly stopped touching my back.

I can sense that she was trying so hard to remain impassive or neutral so that I could choose without feeling guilty about that.

But her eyes spoke a different language: they were so sincere and transparent that they did not hide for a second the hoping for something positive.

There was in that moment that my heart beat faster...

Suddenly my disorderly thoughts became very straight and tidy...

And again... the fear of losing something crossed my stomach.

"I wouldn't change a thing..." I whispered and I kissed her instantly.

That was my answer.

Tears formed at the corners of my eyes, but I didn't cry.

Bella gently caressed my back to comfort me as our bodies pressed together.

"I just hope you don't think I'm taking advantage of the situation..." She whispered.

I raised my head to look at her:

"No. Bella. I don't think that at all."

I sighed:

"You know... being here with you, feels like being outside the chaos of the world. And I don't want to change that." I confessed.

"Do you also feel like everything goes too fast? It's like there is no time to breathe." She asked me.

"That's exactly what I was thinking..."

Bella smiled wistfully: "I know this feeling so well. I'm sorry you feel that way too."

She understood me... just one word and she understood.

I swallowed thoughtfully, resuming the position of earlier.

A strange melancholy hit my chest.

Bella thankfully followed me, sitting right next to me, she stroked my hair again.

"Look... " I spoke.

"How about... we try to turn off this chaos and enjoy these moments together? If you'd like..."

I took her hand and squeezed it.

It's like, everything that happened to me with her, happened so spontaneously that I didn't realize it.

Her eyes softened and a tender smile appeared on her face:

"I'd very much like that, Ellie..."

She whispered, as she moved closely to me.

I lowered my head, feeling the urge to leaning in her shoulder, and I did.

I could almost hear her slow, rhythmic breath as she was holding me.

I closed my eyes, lullabe by that soft sound.

I took a deep breath.

"Is this okay to you?" I asked again.

My voice trembled.

" There's nothing I'd like more, Ellie." She affirmed as she squeezed her arm in my back.