"It's always us." (50)

"Ellie."

Bella stopped me when I was about to leave.

Her gentle voice, and the intensity urgency in the way she called me, make me stop, silencing my mind.

I turned slowly.

Now she took a step toward me, making my heart race.

"If you walk away and I don't see you, it will kill me."

Her voice was soft yet heartbreaking.

"That's... that's exactly what I'm fighting for, Bella... and I don't want to do it alone..."

My voice cracked.

Her eyes searched mine, a mix of pain and frustration.

"Alone? Ellie, you don't know how much it hurts to see you with him, knowing this could be all I ever have."

Her voice burned between jealousy and frustration.

But the worst part was seeing her struggling with the fear of being left behind... and it hit me hard, starting a strong determination within me.

I couldn't let that happen.

"Bella," I whispered, holding her gaze. "I understand your pain. It hurts more than words can say, but I'm not letting it take you away."

She took another step closer to me, leaving just a small space between us, which still felt too far apart.

Her big brown eyes met mine intensely, but then... she suddenly turned away.

"Fuck..." Her voice burned in the air.

"Bella, look at me..." I pleaded.

She doesn't.

"Please, you have to let your guard down..."

"I can't."

"Why?" I asked, desperate.

"Because if I do, this grief will tear me apart. I have no choice."

Her voice was above a whisper now, her eyes getting more and more emotional.

Her words hit me straight into my heart.

I was out of breath.

What makes this powerful feeling between us capable of bringing both happiness and pain?

"You said that there's always a choice..." I remembered her own words.

"I don't feel like there is one anymore, Ellie."

I can't stand her destructive yet gentle tone towards me.

At that moment, the noise of the party started to fade away, like there was a sudden break.

In that very moment... I heard screams in the distance that sounded WAY TOO FAMILIAR.

"We can choose to change things." I affirmed, ignoring it, and giving her my attention.

Bella paused, her eyes flickered.

"Can we, though?! Because every time I try, it just ends in a breakdown."

Her voice was more than just frustrated.

I took a step closer.

"We can fight together, Bella." I said, low and calming, trying to comfort her, but she wasn't having it.

"Remember when I told you exactly the same thing and you didn't allow me to?"

The remaining of her stubbornness...

"If I had known earlier what I know now, I wouldn't have made the same mistake... I never wanted to say goodbye to you, Bella..." I replied softly.

"What does that mean...?"

Her voice trembling, allowing herself to be vulnerable.

"That means: us." I affirmed, my words steady but I smiled, feeling emotional.

"Ellie, what's left of us? Tell me..."

Her voice raised and then she broke into sobs again.

"We couldn't be more broken..."

I took a final step closer, just enough to reach her.

"It's still us, Bella. Broken and bruised, but it's always us."

A flicker of warmth crossed her face and her eyes became soft and transparent.

She bit her lip, trying to hold back tears as a ragged sigh escaped her.

"Tell me, did anyone ever hold each other tight like us?" I smiled.

"Did anyone ever fight like us?"

I was completely honest and defenseless to all my emotions, right in front of her, and nothing was more good than this feeling.

Our eyes locked for a long, intense moment, searching for understanding, slowly realizing the weight of what had been said.

We both said "Us".

Our eyes were glossy, melting with tears.

I almost reached out my hand to her, feeling our bodies wanting to touch each other.

Suddenly, those FAMILIAR VOICES appeared in the distance, cutting the soft silence between me and Bella.

Those voices grew louder and louder.

And it was impossible to ignore now.

"Do you hear them...?" I trembled.

"I do." Bella confirmed, worry crossed her face. "I can hear both of them."

Our eyes darkened and it was CLEAR those loud voices belonged to JOE AND LEO.

This can't be happening again. No.

I felt my chest tighten.

I looked her straight in the eyes with exasperation and pleading.

"You stay right here, Bella, please. We are not even finished. I'm going to see if everything is okay."

"What the hell are you doing, Ellie?"

Bella called me urgently and raised her arm to take mine, but she stopped.

I think she was afraid to touch me.

"Stay here, please. I will come back right away, I promise you." I insisted.

"The hell I'm staying here, Ellie!"

She exclaimed as she tossed herself next to me.

Her arm slowly, finally, touched mine as we started to walk near each other.

I coud sense the warmth of her skin—OH.

"What did I tell you?" I shook my head at her stubbornness.

"And you think I'm standing there watching?" She asserted.

Bella and I walked side by side as the sweaty bodies of people bumped into us, sometimes bringing us closer and other times pushing us apart.

But our eyes and bodies never stopped searching for each other, always finding one another among the crowd.

Suddenly, we caught sight of both Joe and Leo, they were in the middle of an argument, not with each other, it seemed, but with a THIRD GUY, gesturing and shouting.

We couldn't hear a thing they were saying as their voices were just muffled.

But something was VERY WRONG.

"Who the hell is that?"

Bella asked pointing her eyes to that very third guy.

"I have no idea..."

I made my way closer, but Bella grabbed gently my arm.

"What do you think you're doing, Ellie?" She demanded.

"I just want to get a little closer..."

She squeezed my arm, keeping me steady as people pushed me.

"There's no way, Ellie." She said firmly.

Bella stepped in front of me, creating distance between me and people.

Shielding me from any further dangers.

"This is starting to get all fucked up, Ellie, we need to back off. It's not our problem." Her voice steady and unwavering.

"What if it is...?" I trembled feeling my stomach twisting.

My deep sense of guilt was rising unconsciously.

No... I don't want that anymore.

"It's not worth the risk." Bella affirmed, pleading as she looked right into my eyes.

"Ellie, I don't want you—" She paused. "Us... to get caught in that situation."

I searched for her gaze. Her eyes were filled with understanding and a hint of sadness, as if she could see through my struggle and wanted to help.

WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING?!

Everything I want is just her, and only her.

So STOP worrying about everyone who's not us.

"We should go. Now." I agreed.

I realized, in that instant, mostly thanks to Bella, that I should put myself FIRST, instead of OTHERS, like I always had in these 23 years.

I moved closer to Bella, seeing the relief in her.

I only wished I could kiss her right then.

"I have to tell you something..." I whispered in her ear, my heart pounding.

That something involved us.

"Save it from later, Ellie, we need to go, now..." She insisted, gently.

I nodded to her.

Bella reluctantly let go of my arm. She was still afraid, but didn't break eye contact with me for a second, as she decisively led us to leave that chaos.

I was moving quickly, my thoughts raced with my new realization.

The heat was intense, and every breath felt heavy, but I was smiling.

All I could focus on was Bella ahead of me.

She was the light.

I kept my eyes on her green dress, keeping her within my sight.

And she was right in front of me, making sure I stayed behind her, always checking on me.

But then, I lowered my gaze for a second, feeling something under my feet as people pushed against my body.

I lost sight of Bella.

I stumbled over that same thing, and before I could catch myself,

I fell in the grass.

I didn't feel any pain, but my left hand was suddenly heating.

When I looked at it, blood covered my palm.

I opened my hand to get a better look— it was slightly cut by a piece of glass that was in the grass.

A/N

I'm CRYING for this!! 🥲😭 but Ellie and Bella SEEMS to FINALLY MADE THE STEP 🥹❤️

I know too many emotions and too many questions right now... like the HELL were Joe and Leo doing?!! 👀

Ps: next chapter will be tough OF COURSE... 🩹❤️‍🩹