Chapter 27
[ ✔ ] We're Not Friends ▪ Jenlisa
[ Honesty ]
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Lisa sat on the Park's couch, clothed in Rosé's pajamas with a blanket draped around her shoulders. Her eyes were red and swollen, her nose rubbed raw from the amount of Kleenex she used on it.
She couldn't stop moving her hands, tapping the side of a tea-filled cup relentlessly while her now dull eyes stared aimlessly at a spot on the wall in front of her, unmoving.
"Lisa..." Rosé said softly, her hand lightly rubbing her distraught friends back, "Your tea is cold."
The blonde looked down at the no-longer steaming cup of liquid and set it down on the coffee table wordlessly.
Then she spaced out again, buried in her thoughts. Was Jennie alright? What did her parents say when she left? What if they made her believe that loving Lisa really was a sin? What if Jennie realized she couldn't handle being with her?
All these thoughts and more flew through her mind.
The red headed girl looked on at her, worried. She had never seen her like this beforeã ¡ a mixture if extreme sadness, anger, confusion, despair... and desperation. She looked so vulnerable.
After the crying had died down she managed to get her into some clothes and onto the couch. That had been half an hour ago and Lisa still hadn't said anything.
"Lisa, I'm here ifã ¡"
"What if they hit her?" She said quietly and without her usually confidence. She sounded so small.
"Oh no, I don't think the Kim's would resort to that," Rosé tried to assure her. She honestly didn't believe that they would, but at the same time nothing was off the table.
"B-but what if...? Then I wouldn't be there to protect her," Lisa rambled before standing up abruptly, "I have to go protect her!"
"Lisa please..." Rosé pleaded, "There's nothing we can do right now. It's late, you've just taken a serious emotional toll. You need rest," she reasoned, "Hopefully we'll see her at school tomorrow or at least hear from her. And if we don't I will go over there with you to see her, okay?"
Lisa looked at her, pain written all over her face before she leaned into the red headed girl and sighed, "Okay."
"Now, come on, I'll text your mom and you can sleep with me tonight. Sound good?"
The doe eyed girl nodded. She trudged up the stairs like a zombie, and when they finally made it to Rosé's bedroom she couldn't help but curl up into a ball like a baby and sob as her friend held her, breaking down again.
"Sh sh shh... it's alright. It's going to be alright..." Rosé chanted, her heart broke for her best friends.
"I'm j-just so worried about her. I l-love her so much."
"I know Lis, I know."
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"Lisa..." a voice whispered in the sleeping blonde girl's ear.
"Lisa..." it said again.
"Jennie..." she groaned, still asleep.
"Lisa wake up," Rosé shook her this time, hard. Lisa's swollen eyes fluttered open slowly.
"Chaeng?" She asked, slightly confused.
Then everything came rushing back.
She sat up slowly and Rosé sat next to her.
"My head hurts..." she whined.
"It's from thinking so much... and crying."
"...and I feel like shit." Seriously, heartache was worse than a hangover.
"You don't have to go to school, you know. I can take you home, or I can skip with you." A smile almost formed on the badass' tired face.
"You'd skip for me?"
"Of course Lizzy, you're one of my best friends. And I love youã ¡ no homo though," she added with a smile, causing Lisa to laugh a little.
"I want to go to school, in case she comes. Her parents wouldn't keep her from school over this... right?"
The Aussie bit her lip and looked down at her hands which were fiddling with the sheets.
"I... don't know."
"Oh."
Silence enveloped them as they both thought.
"We better get ready, you can borrow whatever you want." They got dressed and stood by each other in front of the vanity, Lisa applying more make-up than she usually would on account of her less than awesome appearance, before they both went into the kitchen.
"Lisa, hello," Mrs. Park greeted.
"Hi aunt Jiyeon."
"Want anything to eat? I could whip up some eggs," she offered, not really surprised to see the girl as she's slept over numerous times. Usually, last night being no exception, she didn't get home until late and her daughter would already be asleep (because Rosé's a good girl like that).
"No thank you... I'm not that hungry." In truth she had completely lost her appetite. Ever since last night she had felt sick to her stomach, just thinking about the way Jennie looked, tears streaming down her face...
"Lisa you have to eat something," Rosé insisted. She was starting to feel more then a little concerned about her friend.
"I said I'm not hungry." The two girls glared at each other for a little bit before Lisa's features became melancholy again.
"I'm sorry I just..."
"I know," Rosé sighed. Jiyeon looked between the two girls, confused.
"Am I missing something?"
The red headed girl looked at her friend, asking permission silently. Lisa nodded.
"Lisa and Jennie are dating. They kept it a secret... until yesterday when the Kim's came home and caught them in a... compromising position. And they, well they kicked Lisa out and we haven't heard from Jen since."
Lisa sniffled.
"Oh sweety," Jiyeon symphatizes, much like her daughter did, "I'm so sorry."
"Thanks..." she said out of courtesy, "I just hope she goes to school today. I just... I need to see her."
"Completely understandable."
"Lisa we're going to be late," Rosé beckoned. Mrs. Park went over to give the doe eyed girl a sort of side hug,
"You let me know if I can do anything, okay?"
"Okay, thank you again. And for letting me stay here."
"Anytime."
When they opened the front door and walked out something on the lawn caught Rosé's eye.
"Lisa," she nudged. She looked and saw her backpack which had been haphazardly thrown into the Park's lawn.
"I... completely forgot I had left this at Nini's," Lisa bent down to pick it up, "So much just happened so fast..." Rosé was running out of comforting things to say, so she just linked arms with her and dragged her to the car.
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Jennie wasn't at school.
She hadn't even texted the blonde, who checked her phone every five seconds hoping for some sign of the girl. The Aussie kept trying to reassure her that everything was alright, that her parents probably just wanted her to take a day off to 'think about her actions' and they probably took her phone and computer too.
No matter what she said though, Lisa wasn't feeling any better. She trudged through the hallways and sat in quiet misery in her classes, different scenarios of what her girlfriend might be doing running through her mind.
She couldn't function properly because she was thinking about her and worrying so much. Like now, she was at her locker and trying in vain to get her combination right. Usually Jennie would be there telling her some funny gossip about a random person and she would just effortlessly open the stupid metal storage unit. But now the numbers were all jumbled in her head and she was beginning to get frustrated.
"Hey Lisa, I heard you haven't been sleeping around lately," a girl said, coming up to her. Without looking up she continued to spin the little dial.
"You've heard correctly." Her jaw clenched when a hand ghosted down her arm, stopping at her hand and lightly stroking over her palm.
"You can't last a few days without sex... you must be so... frustrated," the girl whispered.
Lisa yanked her hand away and continued to focus harder on the locker, willing it to open.
Suddenly she felt a warm breath caress her neck,
"I can take care of you, you know. If I remember correctly I had you screaming the last time we met."
Lisa put her hand down to face her and gave her a look that would have a full grown man shitting bricks.
"First of all, I don't even remember your name. Second of all, if we did have sex- which I'm pretty certain we didn't- I was more than likely faking it the whole time because I didn't want to deal with you crying over your lack of skill if I had told you to fuck off. Thirdly, I don't want you now so can you just get the hell away from me because I am NOT in the mood to deal with this shit." With that, she grabbed the handle of her locker and shook it violently.
The girl had disappeared in a matter of seconds but Lisa could really care less.
Someone must have felt sorry for her because her locker miraculously opened when she punched it.
The bell rang, signaling she was late and she swore to herself. She could feel her emotions overwhelming her and a fresh set of tears began to blur her vision.
She thought she had cried herself dry by now.
"FUCK!" She yelled as she dropped her bag and its contents scattered across the floor.
"Fucking, dipshit, you are fucking hopeless, you loser should just die..." she mumbled to herself. She didn't even know what she was saying and she rapidly started shoving stuff into her backpack. When she picked up her History textbook she noticed a piece of paper sticking out of it.
She picked it out, confused because she didn't remember putting it in there and she never took notes in class...
She wiped her eyes (Shit why didn't she put water proof eye-liner? STUPID) and unfolded the paper.
Lili,
I'm on house arrest, courtesy of my fucking parents. They've just been talking shit downstairs. Never mind their daughter's been balling her eyes out.
You know what, I'm not even sad anymore I'm pissed. I just wish my parents weren't a couple of homophobic snobs...
The only thing I'm sad about is that you got kicked out. You didn't deserve that and you are so perfect, don't listen to a word they say. I miss you so much baby. Hopefully they'll ditch me for some stupid conference and I can see you soon.
I love you.
-Jennie
P.S. I'm not sure if my plan to get this to you will work but hopefully none of your stuff breaks when I throw this out of my bathroom window.
P.P.S. Still love you(:
Lisa sat on the floor and re-read the letter over and over, smiling to herself and not giving a damn if she looked stupid or if she was missing class.
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Jennie was frustrated beyond belief. Her parents had taken away her phone so she couldn't text Lisa to ask if she was okay or to see if she had gotten her bag or to know if she found her letter.
She couldn't believe they wouldn't let her go to school. Actually, no, she could. Want to know why? Because they were crazy sons of bitches that's why. Hell, if her bathroom wasn't attached to her bedroom she probably wouldn't even be able to take a shit without an escort.
And now they were having a heated discussion about something (her) which had been ongoing since they had scolded her for 'what she had done'.
And fuck, the minutes after the door was shut behind Lisa were the scariest of her life...
Flashback
She just felt like her world had caved in around her. And really, would you feel any different? The one thing you have been dreading has happened㠡 her parents walked in on her and Lisa, sleeping and cuddling. Wrapped in each others arms. Naked.
"Please mom..." she pleaded, from her couch.
"Don't try to explain yourself to me. Because I don't want to hear it. I didn't raise you like this..." she sneered, shaking her head back and forth.
Jennie was still crying and her dad took off his jacket and gave it to her to cover herself up.
"I really love her..." Jennie said quietly.
"You're just confused. All that pretend dating shit made you somehow think you had actual feelings for her," her mom explained like she knew exactly what she was talking about.
"I'm not CONFUSED mom Iã ¡"
"Ruby Jane just stop. Your father and I need to discuss things, go to your room."
"WHAT?" She spat incredulously.
"GO TO YOUR ROOM," she growled.
"Are you fucking kidding me? You're just going toã ¡"
"Ruby Jane," her father said simply, "Please wait in your room while we talk." Jennie looked between her 'darling' parents and rolled her eyes.
"You know what? Fine. I'll go to my room," she wrapped the jacket around herself and started for the stairs.
"And when you get up there, make sure you leave your phone and laptop in our bedroom."
"Are you fucking serious?"
"Does it look like I'm joking to you?" Her mother said evenly.
Jennie gave her one last glare and went to her room, cursing under her breath.
End of Flashback
Her parents were fucktards, it was just a fact. Now she was stuck at home while Lisa was probably worrying about her. And she had to wait in her room while her parents were still talking. Did it seriously take a whole night to talk about her?
She knew they would react like thisã ¡ cruel, unwilling to listen, and acting with complete disregard for HER feelings. In fact, she actually expected them to kick her out and she was surprised they didn't.
They just pissed her of so much. Her mom wouldn't even let her fucking talk to her and her dad just stood there without saying two words.
"UUUURGH!" She groaned, picking up a pillow and throwing it against her wall. Jennie flopped heavily in her bed, trying to calm herself down.
To her surprise, she also felt kind of... relieved about the whole fucked up situation. If she got out of this, she would finally get to stop hiding. She would finally be able to hold Lisa's hand in public. Finally be able to announce to everyone that she was Lisa's and Lisa was hers.
She would finally be able to tell people who she really was.
She was still confused about her sexuality, she didn't know if she was really a... lesbian. She didn't really care much for dicks but she admired their abs and muscles.
...but Lisa had super awesome toned abs and muscles, too. So smooth but defined... and she had boobs.
Jennie really liked boobs.
If she was being honest with herself she had always looked at other girls' chests, but she had chalked it up to her just seeing if they were better than her own.
And don't even get her started on sex with another girl. Or namely, sex with Lisa. Before Lisa, she never would have thought that a vagina could be better than a penis, but Gooood it was. So, so much better.
Yeah, okay. So she was pretty gay. But... she was sorta okay with that. Really okay with that.
If she got Lisa, then she really didn't care about anything else. The only people that cared were her parents and she recently realized, she doesn't give a damn about what they think, not anymore.
"I'm gay," she breathed out loud, barely above a whisper. She didn't even know why she said it, but by saying it out loud it hit her a lot harder. It made it seem more real.
And it felt good.
"I'm gay, and I love Lisa." She smiled to herself. And she felt oddly... proud.
She was finally being honest with herself.
All of a sudden though it just wasn't enough. She wanted to tell Lisa, wanted to see Lisa. And she wanted to tell Rosé, her best friend who stood by her. She wanted to tell Jisoo and Yeri and Jungkook and anything with ears.
She was gay and she loved Lisa.
With new found confidence and adrenaline she yanked her door open and marched downstairs, ready to confront her parents. If she looked back on this moment she'd realize she was being a little crass but she would have no regrets.
"Jennie," her father said in surprise by her sudden appearance. They were sitting at their dining room table with paper spread out in between them.
"What areã ¡" her mother started but she cut her off.
"I'm gay and I'm in love with Lalisa Manoban."
"No, you're not. We read about it㠡 you're probably just confused. Many young adults are intrigued by the taboo of a homophobic relationship and they confuse excitement and mystery for actual feelings." They 'read up' about it? Was that what they were doing all night? Finding poor excuses to rebuttal anything she said?
"I'm not confused, mom. I like girls. Boobs and Vagina's turn me on." (Lol same.)
"Jesus, Ruby Jane!" She gasped, "How dare you use that language in front of us! Where is your respect?!"
"Respect? RESPECT? I have just as much respect for you as you have for me which, evidently, is NONE. You lost my respect㠡 no, you never had my respect. I don't believe in your ideals or morals. I don't agree with your principles and I hate your lifestyle."
Again, her mom was not listening. She just sat there and shook her head.
"I knew we shouldn't have trusted her alone. We should have sent her to Church School when I said so," she said to her husband. Then she addressed the brunette, "You are just in a phase. That filthy dirty Manoban girl has confused you. Sheã ¡"
"NO mom. She has opened my eyes and made things clearer."
"You just need to spend more time with God."
"GOD? You think sending me to bible camp will change how I feel? Because it won't. Let me ask you thisã ¡ where in the bible does it say that homosexuality is wrong? Where does it say that neglecting your daughter is okay? Or that money and power is everything? Where does it say that?"
Nothing.
"And if GOD is somehow shameful of me why does Roseanne accept me huh? And Jiyeon? And Lisa's mom, aunt Marga. Why don't they have a problem with me liking a girl? Why does Rosé get to see her mom everyday? For pete's sake even Nico's much more understanding than both of you two grown adults." Again, her parents ignored her.
"We want you to live with your grandmother for a little while, and attend the school that her Church offers," Jiyong exlained.
"My mother has already agreed." Jennie's fists clenched. If there was one person she disliked more than her mom, it was her grandma.
"No."
"What do you mean no?" Chaerin tried to have an even tone but her patience for her daughter was wearing thin.
"I mean 'there is NO fucking way I'm going to live with my FUCKING GRANDMA," Jennie spat back, loathing dripping from her words.
"Well, you are either going to live with your grand mother or you are going to leave right now."
"Fine," she said simply. Her mother smiled, thinking she had won. Jennie stormed up to her room, leaving them alone again.
"I knew she would agree. There may still be hope for her yet."
After twenty minutes of mini-celebration, however, they were shocked when Jennie came back, barreling down the stairs with a duffel bag in hand. She had been crying again, mostly from anger.
"I'm leaving!" She yelled making her way to the door.
"Where do you think you are going?" Chaerin fumed.
"You gave me a choice. Go to hell on Earth or leave for good. I'm choosing to leave."
"You are making a mistake Ruby Jane," her father warned. She kept walking, avoiding eye-contact with them.
"Fine! You ungrateful little girl! Just know that if you walk through that door there is no coming back! You will not be part of this family anymore!"
Jennie turned to her parents one last time.
"What family?" She said evenly. Then she walked out the door, slamming it shut behind her.
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Well... that was an emotional roller coaster huh? Don't worry, there will be a happy ending! This story ends in 3 chapters so maybe tomorrow I can finally finish this one and focus on ADF.
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