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(edited)

The steady beeping of a machine, the repulsive desinfectant smell and feeling utterly battered is all I can hear, smell and feel. I'm in a hospital, that I know for sure.

"Willa! No, no, no, no. Hey, stay with me. Stay with me!"

"Do you know what you've done, brother? You shot her..."

"Willa, honey, stay with me please. Don't close your eyes on me, don't. Gio, drive faster! Willa? No, no, no! Open your ey–"

Little by little, piece by piece and voice by voice, it all starts to come back to me.

I remember finally getting free from Lazzaro and running to Jade and then a gun being fired but I didn't really feel a bullet piercing me. I just... collapsed. I felt like I was getting wet and I knew it was because of my blood, but I didn't feel the pain that should've been there. I only felt panic when I couldn't draw in a single and proper breath. I felt the strong metallic fluid filling my mouth up too. Blood. I was choking on it.

And... And that voice, Lazzaro's voice. He accused Silvio. He said brother.

Did Silvio shoot me? Was he the one that put a bullet in me?

All of a sudden, my chest starts constricting all over again, as if the thought of Silvio shooting me makes me relive that moment once again.

I can't breathe.

"Willa? Nurse!" It's a familiar male voice yelling for help. Soon enough I hear someone usher inside. I still can't seem to open my eyes though.

"Sir, please step aside." A female voice with a prominent foreign accent orders firmly yet still politely. Then I feel her putting a mask on my face.

"Deep breaths, Willa. Take a few deep breaths for me, cariño. Calm down. It's just a panic attack. Focus on my voice." She tells me loud enough for me to hear it and, bit by bit, my breathing returns to its steady inhales and exhales and I'm finally able to open my eyes. The lighting harshly invades my pupils, but I get use to it shortly after.

My vision is still blurry, partly because of my bad eyesight, but I can notice the nurse, a woman in her late 40s with gentle facial features, hovering right above me, still inspecting the state I'm in.

"How are you feeling?" The nurse now asks me directly.

"Like I've been run over by a bus." I attempt to make a small joke and smile through the oxygen mask. My voice, despite being muffled because of the mask, comes out raspy and hoarse as if I have gone by without drinking water in too long. The nurse notices this and gives me few sips of water then puts my mask back on. I thank her on which she just smiles.

"If the pain becomes strong just press the button beside your bed and it'll send some pain medication through your IV. The doctor will be in shortly to examine you properly and explain all the procedures done. And try not to move too much or get up, alright?" She briefly explains. I thank her again and just as fast as she came, she is gone through the door.

I finally remember Lazzaro next to me and turn my head to look at him. How did I forget about the guy just sitting there?

He shoots me a weak smile and drags the chair closer to my bed before taking a seat. "Hey, tiger. Long time no see."

"Lazz." I smile back, "How long have I been out?"

"Maybe two days? I don't really know. I stopped looking at the time to be honest."

I stare at him carefully. His dark eye bags, his disheveled hair and his stiff posture more than tell me he has been up these past two days. "And why do you look like you haven't got much sleep?"

"Because I haven't?"

"And why the hell not?"

He sighs, takes my hand and places a gentle kiss at the back of it. "Well, someone had to be here when you wake up. Plus, I got to watch you sleep." He adds the last sentence with a wink as a joke.

"You perv." I chuckle but that chuckle quickly turns into a hiss when I find the action to be damn painful. I look down at the side of my ribcage just where the pain originated from and I see a tube sticking out of my left side. It's transparent, but there's red liquid coming out of me and, through the tube, down to a machine. I freeze.

"Lazz?" I feel sick. A sudden surge of raw fright shoots through me and Lazz must've noticed that. He's now looking at me with worried eyes and brows knitted together. "Lazzaro, what's thi—It goes inside of me, Lazz. I can feel it inside."

He takes a sharp breath before answering me, "It's a chest tube. It drains the liquid from your lung so it doesn't collapse again." He answers softly.

I look at the tube and then at Lazzaro. Sadness and sympathy circle in his brown orbs. The way he's watching me like I can break every given moment under him and the way he still holds my hand makes me feel cared for, something I have forgotten what is like these past couple of months.

Soon enough, my eyes well up with tears and I can't stop them. I can't. I tell myself to be strong, but how can I be strong when I had almost died?

I could've died. I-I...

I feel Lazzaro move beside me on the bed. He wraps his arms around me delicately enough not to move the tube and just holds me. He holds me for God knows how long and I just sob in his shoulder. He doesn't say anything. He just lets me cry my heart out and I'm damn thankful for that.

The glass walls that have been keeping my feelings bottled up until now shattered all at once and Lazz is here to clean up the mess.

"I can't do this anymore. I can't, Lazz. I don't want anyone else to get hurt. I can't watch anyone die, Lazz. I can't lose Jade..." I manage to mutter between sobs. I feel his lips touch my temple and leave a gentle kiss.

I was kidnapped multiple times. I was threatened. I saw a family friend get killed in front of my own eyes. I was played with. Hell, my little brother's life was put on the line to force me to find my goddamn twin just because he wanted to kill her. If this wasn't despicable enough he shot me.

And all of this just to kill my sister for revenge and break a family down. They can't lose another child.

I thought I had all of it under control, that I could just play it like nothing's wrong, but everything is wrong. I have just been avoiding the inevitable. I've been too naive, too stupid to think that I could actually change his mind and this all could have a happy ending.

My cries die down after a while, but Lazz is still holding me in his arms. I sniffle once, and finally pull back. His brown eyes are fixed on my, probably red and puffy, ones, just observing me.

"Are you okay, tiger?" He questions softly without taking his eyes off of me. I nod, close my eyes and take a shaky breath before opening them again. Lazz moves his hand, and with his thumb wipes off a tear on my cheek I didn't know rolled down.

"Lazz, where's Jade?"

He sighs and looks down for a split second before returning his gaze on me. "They took her into custody yesterday."

"What? Who took her? Why?"

"They didn't say who they were, but we think they were CIA. They didn't say why they're taking her either. Giovanni and Vince are trying to find a way out for her. That's why they're not here." Lazzaro explains briefly, but before I can say anything, he adds, "Don't worry about it, okay? They'll take care of it. You just rest. "

I think it through quickly and nod, but then I remember my breakdown in front of him just minutes ago.

"I'm sorry about previously. I–"

"Hey, hey. I don't wanna hear it, okay? If anyone is sorry about anything here it's me. I should've done at least something to prevent my brother from doing any of this shit. I should've known it'd end like this. I'm the one who's sorry, tiger."

"You couldn't have known, Lazz. It's not your fault."

It's entirely Silvio's fault.

"Get some rest, tiger. We'll talk later, okay?" I comply this time. I just lay my head on the pillow, but before Lazzaro can stand up, I catch his hand and stop him.

"You should rest too, you know." He only smiles as a reply and kisses the back of my hand.

"I'm fine, Willa."

"Liar."

He groans playfully. "Fine. If it pleases her royal highness, I'll take the couch." And just as he said, he walks over to the beige couch and plops down, making himself as comfortable as he can.

Not much longer, my eyes start to feel heavy and I drift off with the sound of Lazzaro's breathing, the chatting of the nurses outside my room and the uneasy feeling resting in my chest.