📌32 (Silvio)

(edited)

I had to sit the whole flight back to DC in the bedroom just so I wouldn't hear her laugh with Lazzaro or steal a glimpse of her and be reminded of how I broke her in pieces all over again. But I saw them. I saw how she smiled at him when she went to check up on him that day and I knew sooner or later she'd go to him. He was the better choice. Why would she waste her time with me?

I only went out there twice; to take a seat and strap myself up for the take off and the landing, and both times it was excruciating. Why? Because I had to sit there on the other side of them and watch as Lazzaro held her hand during the ascending and descending turbulences.

I should've been the one comforting her.

Stupid Silvio!

As soon as we were allowed to unfasten our seat belts, I'd jump from the seat and straight into the bedroom to sulk in self hatred like the bitch I apparently am.

After we landed, there were a few cars waiting outside and by the time I had stepped out of the jet everyone else, except me and my men, were already driving off, including Willa.

"To the villa, boss?" Lorenzo asks me as I hop in the back of one of the last two cars. I only give him a dismissive nod as he starts driving out of the airport.

I can't help but feel an unfamiliar emptiness in my chest as we drive home. I've grown accustomed to her presence and now that she's truly gone, I regret it all.

I shouldn't have let her go, but that would've been the most selfish thing yet. It's too late now to think about the different outcomes and I, the dick in the situation, have to come to terms with her absence once and for all.

***

Almost a whole month has gone by since we came back from Fajardo and I haven't heard from her since. Lazzaro only came to pick up his clothes. He also found the time to tell me (again) the same thing he told me when we were driving away from the outpost; let go of Willa and let her live the life she deserves. You're the worst person she can be with. If you love her you will tell her you can't be together.

And I did all that and look at us. We're miserable. Well, I am if no one else.

All I could do is ask Lorenzo to tag her for a couple of days to know what she's up to, but to tell you the truth I'm scared to see her... happy without me.

Now, I'm sitting at the dining table poking the steak in my plate and torturing myself.

"Jeez, what happened to you?" Out of nowhere, Rita comes in the kitchen, brows furrowed, with Lorenzo following behind. She leaves her bag on the island counter and takes a seat on my right. Lorenzo stands behind her.

"Well, hello to you, too."

She ignores my sarcastic salute and continues looking at me with her disapproving glare.

"Why didn't you tell me you got back?" she demands.

"I was busy."

"Yeah?" Rita crosses her arms, not believing my excuse. "Lorenzo told me something else though."

I send a quick glare Lorenzo's way knowing he had snitched on me. "And what's that?"

"That you've been depressed and ignoring your responsibilities since you got back."

"He said that with those exact words? Yeah, well. Lorenzo can sometimes choose not to talk because his boss might just shoot him." Lorenzo lowers his head as a sign of fear.

"Sorry, boss. She made me tell her. I-"

"Just get the fuck out, " I point to the door. "And take this steak with you."

Lorenzo quickly picks up the plate with the cold steak and hurries behind the kitchen door.

Rita is still glaring at me.

"What?" I ask her, my voice snappy. She's beginning to push my buttons and she's the last person I want to lash out on.

She continues looking at me for a minute more before she stands up. "That's it. Let's go."

I stare at her like she's grown two heads. If she's planning on making me leave the house, she's dead wrong.

"Where?"

"There's something you need to see."

"I'm not leaving the house if that's what you mean.

"The hell you aren't." she grabs her purse and turns to me. "Get up, change out of your sweats and out with me."

Now I glare back at her and cross my arms. "I'm not going... wherever that is."

"Stop acting like a two year old kid and move. I know you, Silvio, and I also know that you need to see what I'm about to show you just so you can resume your chaotic life and pick up yourself."

After a minute long pause and silence, I sigh.

She may know me to some extent, but I also know one thing about her that will never change; she won't give up until she gets me out of the house.

"Fine." After I agree in the end, a smile of accomplishment rests on her features. She ushers me to get dressed and once I'm out of the week old sweats and into some more presentable jeans, we head for the car.

The sun settles nicely on my skin and it's a warmth I never knew I'd miss, even despite the cold Washington weather. I've been inside the house for almost a month now, and heading out only at night to go to the club, I had missed all the birds' chirping and singing in the earlier hours. It's nice to hear that again.

We've been driving in the car for almost twenty minutes and Rita hasn't said not a word to me as to where she made me drive. We drove past the restaurants downtown, got into a little bit of traffic, but finally she told me to stop in front of a bank.

"Are we robbing a bank or something?" I turn to her, a touch of annoyance coating my words. Did she bring me here just to mock me? Rita lets out a laugh.

"We don't need to, honey. You probably have more money than they have in that vault," she says dismissively. True.

"Then what the fuck are we doing here?" I ask her, through a forced sarcastic smile. She moves her look from me to whatever is on the left of me. Confused, I open my mouth to speak, but she beats me to it.

"There," she tells me and averts my face forcefully by my jaw to the left.

But there is nothing 'there'. It's just some people walking, a small coffee shop stand located at the entrance gates of some university and students holding a cup of coffee, probably bought from that stand.

"What am I looking at, Rita?"

"She should be out any second now."

"Who should be ou-" I stop talking when I see who Rita was referring to.

Willa.

She looks better than ever. Her glasses are back on, too.

God, I hated it when Rita made her take em off and put contacts for that night we dressed up and went to that casino to look for clues on Jade. She looked way cuter with the glasses. She still does.

Few of her friends, I presume, approach her and she smiles at them, a genuine, warm and happy smile. One of them hands her a cup of hot, steaming liquid and she smiles even brighter.

"Why did you bring me here, Rita?" I demand with a serious tone, but never breaking the gaze I have on my Willa.

"You needed to see her, Silvio. You needed to see that she's moved on so you can do the same."

Willa, now, takes a seat on a nearby bench with her few friends and they all seem to have a blast chatting.

My gattino looks healthier than before. She doesn't seem to be in any pain anymore so she must've healed up well. She also looks calmer than before, more at peace.

I thought the few blissful moments we had back at that hotel in Fajardo were perfect and we both couldn't look happier then. I thought only I could make her that happy, but I was clearly wrong on that one.

Even though I can't be the reason for her happiness, she is mine and probably will be for a long time.

Don't get me wrong, I love it when I see her glowing and giggling like that, but what hurts is that she's not like that around me anymore.

Well, she's not around me at all anymore.

"I saw her," I tell Rita, and start the car again. I hear her let out a sad and defeated sigh.

"Do you see why you have to move on?" she asks me, but when I don't give her an answer she takes it as permission to continue. "You both were hurt badly, your hearts still bleed, honey, but she knew she had to move on even if it pained her. She had to learn how to live without you in her life. You didn't give her a choice when you said all that to her and you don't have one either. You have to understand that she managed to find happiness without you, no matter how hard it is to hear it. It must've been even harder on her to do it."

It annoys me hearing her say this, but I can't say it's a lie.

"You have to do the same, honey, so you can heal and move on. "