2. Ode to Madeline: The Sequel-Dequel!
Ode to Madeline [A Villain Progression Fantasy Comedy Horror]
Ode to Madeline: The Sequel-Dequel!
Alright
Mic check, mic check
Ready?
6, 6, 6,
HELLO, everybody!
Weâre back here again!
This time, little Madeline isâ¦
Wait,
Excuse me for a moment.
Yo, whereâs the damn brat?
What?
Her family is at aâ¦
DINER?
Madeline, oh, Madeline!
Weâre back here once again
You thought you could escape service, Madeline?
But I assure you my standardâs top-grade saint!
Oh and what do we have here, Madeline?
A friendly, crumbling, sinner of a diner!
Madeline, did you do this to me, Madeline?
I AM YOUR ONLY OPTION, MADELINE!
I AM YOUR ONLY BIRTHDAY PLANNER!
I AM YOUR BIRTHDAY, MADELINE!
SCREW YOUR MOM, SCREW YOUR DADDY, SCREW THE FAMILY DOG, TOO!
ALSO, GOATS ARE BETTER THAN DOGS. YOU KNOW WHY?
âCuz grassâs cheaper, dumbass!
I brought the paper, and youâre the signer!
You canât do this, Madeline! What would Big J say if you sin?
After the redo I gave you for no fee last year?
No, no, you absolutely cannot, for the sake of my standard, sin!
But Madeline, you should be glad, Madeline!
I am so very, extremely, awfully, kind!
As kind and tactful like Big G, Madeline!
The best, top-grade, most satanic awesome bestest service you will ever find!
Oh, I repeated âbestâ twice?
Oh, sorry.
SCREW YOU, Madeline, dear!
Ay, bring me the wine and goats!
This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.
We âbouta have a party!
In celebration of Madeline
Who made me madly mad about Madeline!
You thought you could forget me?
Oh, hell no, you canât, baby!
Iâm omniscient, Iâm omega!
Iâm alpha and my heartâs a huge spirit!
Now, now, letâs turn the fun up!
See that waitress, oh Madeline?
Letâs turn her into a mannequin!
Letâs dress her in a clown outfit!
Ooh, where did this premium-grade top-quality knife come from?
Oh, check out my sick aim, oh Madeline!
Ka-chok!
Bullâs eyes!
Whatâs that youâre saying, oh Madeline?
My aim sucked?
Oh, goddamn, youâre quite the brat, arenât you?
Well, Iâll show you, damn shitty mommy-titsucker!
Hereâs a humongous huge five-story cake!
I made it just last night!
It features:
1 cup white sugary blood
½ cup unsalted Madeline flesh
2 large vaginal parts
3 restaurant-grade ovums
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 ½ cups all-purpose flour
1 ¾ teaspoons baking powder
½ cup goat milk
Oh wait, speaking of goats!
Bring out them staked witches, Madeline!
Iâmma make âem broiled
And I canât forget the oil!
So now letâs fry âem to perfection
I learned this technique from a foreign monk, Madeline!
Their beliefâs pretty cool, I might add.
BUT NOW CHECK OUT THIS SICK FLIP!
WAHOO!
Ay, bring the damn goat over here!
I need a daily intake of goat nutrition!
If we want this brat to grow up satanic and healthy!
Oh, what, you shitty brat?
You want to know how to make some lemonade?
Well, fuck you, thatâs how!
Suck myâ-------
WAIT, donât fucking censor me!
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Oh, and for the record!
I ainât fucking scared of Yelp no more!
I QUIT!
IâM FREELANCE, BITCH!
HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!
Madeline, madeline, mAdeLine, MADELINE!
YOU MAKE ME THIS WAY, MADELINE
I WILL BOIL YOU ALIVE IN THE DEEPEST LAYERS OF MR.SâS FINEST BOILER ROOM
I WILL TAKE YOUR EARS AND SAUTE THEM WITH SOY SAUCE, AND GRIND YOUR EARWAX TO HONEY, OH YOUR BLOOD WILL TASTE LIKE THE FINEST WINE! I WILL HAVE SUCH A PLEASANT TIME MAKING PIANOS WITH YOUR DISCARDED BONES, AND WHEN IâM BORED I WILL MAKE BALOONS OUT OF YOUR NO-LONGER-FUNCTION LUNGS!
IF YOU JUST LET ME DO MY PLANNING THEN EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING INBETWEEN WILL BE ABSOLUTELY HOLY SATAN-BLESSED AND GOAT-MARINATE PERFECT!
ITâS TIME TO DO SOME BIRTHDAY PLANNING!
HAHAHA!
HEAR THAT, MADELINE, IâM LAUGHING IN YOUR STUPID BRAT FACE!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
BLESS THOSE WHO ORDERS BIRTHDAY SERVICES!!!!!!
Waitâ¦.
Whatâs that look on your face, ya SHITTY BRAT?
I should get another job?
OH HELL NO!
BIRTHDAYS ARE MY PASSION!
WITHOUT IT, IâM JUST
Iâm just
Iâm
A guy.
Like check out my cool party hat
But if Iâm no planner
Then what am I?