Chapter 33

Chapter 33 — I Love You

"Hi," Liam approaches Jason by himself, visibly surprising the latter; he has been ignoring him for the past few days after all.

"Hi. Hey," Jason clears his throat, "How are you?"

Liam simply gives him a small nod, hands in his pocket, rocking back and forth on his feet, "There's, uh, something I need to tell you,"

"Ok, what is it?"

He has Jason's full attention now which is what he needs but that doesn't mean he's entirely at ease about it. Liam's a bundle of nerves, and just a little tug, he is more than sure that he would certainly unravel right there and then.

"Liam?" he prompts when he's been silent for too long.

"Um, yeah. It's about–,"

But it's as if he has a psychic mind; the moment Liam is about to utter his name, he appears. There's a file in his hand and he hands it to one of their other colleagues, instructing something. Okay, it is work related and it is his office and he is going to be here and there, but still how can he appear right when Liam is going to talk about him.

Jason follows his line of sight and spots their boss as well and raises his eyebrows in a way that Liam can't quite comprehend their meaning. Aaron turns and sees them as well. He gives them a small wave before returning to his work, but Liam cannot look away from him just yet.

"Do you want me to take a guess regarding what it is that you want to say?" Jason suggests.

"No, no, no," Liam immediately finds this idea appalling — after all it is Jason's 'idea' that even pushed him into investigating all these weird feelings inside him. He was happily oblivious before, "I will tell you. Just..." his eyes stray towards their boss again before looking back at the man before him, "... later? During lunch?"

Jason visibly deflates, "And I'm supposed to wait in anticipation until then?"

Liam grimaces, shrugging, "You know what they say — anticipation provides the greatest joy in life,"

"You're just making that up,"

Another shrug. He leans forward and places a quick kiss on his lips, patting on his cheek once, "I'll tell you later, okay. Bye. I love you,"

Liam freezes as soon as the words are out of his mouth. That did not just happen. He did not just say that.

But only one look at the man before him, and he knows he had said it.

Shit.

This was not at all how he was planning to confess his feelings. He wasn't even sure if he was planning to confess his love at all really. He still hasn't had the time to think about it.

But...

Fuck, he loves Jason. He does.

He was scared shitless when he first realised his feelings for him but now that he's said out loud — albeit accidentally, his heart feels light and as if it's floating high above the sky.

And Jason... Jason is beaming like an absolute idiot in front of him and Liam does not know what he was scared of in the first place. He cannot help but mirror his grin.

"I'm sorry," Jason says, still smiling so wide his face might just split into two, "I didn't quite get the last part — would you mind repeating it for me?"

Liam rolls his eyes, shaking his head lightly, but he says it again anyway. Not because of Jason's request but because he wants to. He loves him and he realises he doesn't mind saying it.

"I love you,"

Jason takes a step forward, cups Liam's face in his hands and kisses him — a much deeper kiss than the one Jason gave him before, "I love you too," he says.

Liam clicks his tongue, "I mean, how can you not?"

"Hmm, true," and Jason goes in for another kiss, but Liam pulls back, clearing his throat, reminding him of their surrounding.

"I'll see you later, okay,"

"Okay. I love you,"

Liam laughs, "I love you too,"

֍֍֍

Liam cannot understand if he finds Aaron appealing or irritating (more than he already was).

At times, Liam wants to do everything and anything he tells him to, but other times he cannot even stand to hear his voice. He now has a deeper and exact understanding of what it means to be caught between a rock and a hard place.

It feels like a blessing and a curse to look at him. And this weird pull he feels at his chest. he is not whether it is pure disdain or... longing.

Yes, he has come to admit that he likes Aaron but that doesn't mean he has to like him. Okay, that makes no sense — but it is what it is.

He was truly and completely naive and stupid to have believed that all the confusion and fog in his head would clear up once he recognises the cause for it. If anything, it has only intensified.

And worse, it's effecting him outwardly — he cannot sit still, he cannot focus on everything, his memory is hopeless, and he hasn't done one thing right today. Aaron has always returned his works back to him with his mistakes highlighted, and Liam has had to redo everything.

Liam expects him to snap every time he does something wrong, but surprisingly so, he hasn't. Or maybe Liam thought wrong.

The office phone rings, and Liam answers it — it's none other than his boss.

"Hello?" he hopes the quiver he feels in his voice is just his imagination.

"Can you come in here for a minute, Liam?"

"Yeah, sure,"

He puts back the phone and stands up, brushing his shirt and pants before going inside his office, preparing himself to whatever it was that he is about to face.

"Sit," Aaron gestures at the chair at his table, and Liam quietly complies.

His boss doesn't say anything for the first few minutes and is instead typing away something raptly. Liam is intent on not looking at him for too long, but his eyes always somehow find their way back to him. They don't miss his dark sleeked-back hair, his neatly ironed brown suit and white shirt, his black tie. He is lightly turned to the side, so his side profile is presented to his Liam and as much as he is trying to ignore it, he still takes in his high cheekbones, his nose that may appear a little too long, but still it suits him. There's a shadow of a beard on his chin and how–

Liam's keen observation is cut short when Aaron clasps his hands together, seemingly done with whatever it is that he was typing. He turns to Liam and gives a small smile. Liam is compelled to return the smile and he does — there's no need to be hostile just yet.

"That was actually your work that I was doing just now," he says, cocking his head sideways, gesturing at the desktop.

Liam sits up a little, frowning, "Why didn't you say so?"

"Because it's a rather important email and we cannot afford any mistakes on that,"

Liam casts his eyes downwards — none of this was his intention; it's just the existence of this man before him was deeply disturbing him, not that he can say that out loud. So, he just settles for an apology instead, "I'm sorry,"

"Don't need your apology," he shrugs, resting his arms on the table, "I'm curious however. As long as you've worked here, you've been nothing but efficient in your work — it's one of the reasons I did not fire you despite your 'incidents'. What happened now? Is this another one of your pranks?"

"No, no. I respect our truce," he clears his throat, "It's just... something personal,"

"Personal?"

Liam simply nods — there's no way he's going to admit anything to him, at least not now. He has so much other stuff he has to do and figure out before he can get there. And Jason; he needs to talk to Jason foremost.

"You're okay though?"

Liam gives him a terse nod, "Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know — just checking,"

"Okay,"

"Okay,"

Their conversation should have ended there, and it would have if only Liam had appropriately taken his leave. But he doesn't and he doesn't know what overtakes him, but the words are out of his mouth before he can even consider them.

"Why are you nice to me?"

Aaron's eyebrows rise a little, "I'm sorry?"

Another opportunity for Liam to take his leave, but squanders it and presses on with his ridiculous question.

"Why are you nice to me?"

"Umm..." he looks at him quizzically, and lets out a small chuckle, "... because you're my employee?"

"You weren't exactly nice before," Liam doesn't waste any time in pointing that out.

He shrugs, "Neither were you,"

Liam scoffs, "That's because you hit me with your car and placed all the blame on me. Technically, you started it first,"

Aaron shakes his head, laughing under his breath, "That seems so long ago," he continues after a small pause, "I don't know, it seemed childish to continue being cold to you out of spite. And..." he sucks in his bottom lip, and looks contemplatively at Liam, as if mulling over a decision.

Liam, never being one for patience, probes him, "And what?"

"And, um, I started liking you. Couldn't exactly be rude to you after that,"

Liam's face instantly feels warm and he has to look away. He probably only meant he likes Liam as a person; it's nothing special. He nods.

"Cool," he clears his throat, "So, I'm going to go. Back to work. Bye,"

He takes off like a bullet shot out of a gun. He likes me. Aaron likes me.

He shouldn't feel so happy over this small news but he does and he hates himself for it. It doesn't matter, he tells himself, and I definitely don't care, but deep, deep down, Liam knows that's not true.

֍֍֍