: Chapter 18

sluttypeach91: @Backwardz_Cap & @Not_Your_Baby I’d let you both pound me into next Sunday with only some crisco and a prayer.

Olivia_Oil: Not_Your_Baby Ok but could you be my Daddy instead? Asking for a friend. (It’s me. I’m the friend.)

The music blares melodies into my ears as my fingers work.

Gripping the charcoal pencil, I drag it along the paper, sketching lines, curves, and slopes. I use my thumb to blur some shadow while song lyrics resonate in my thoughts.

But I have to stop, and take a breath. It’s getting too real…

Rolling up a joint, I keep my headphones on while I smoke, leaned back in my chair and staring at a blank space on my white bedroom wall.

Art has been my one and only passion since I was old enough to hold a crayon. Even when I was little, my drawings were leaps and bounds more advanced than anyone else’s in school.

But that was about it. My talents begin and end with art, and to a lot of people, that’s not exactly the gift you’d think it is. I’ve heard it my whole life, from pretty much everyone other than my mom…

You can’t make a career out of that.

Art will never pay the bills.

These are great doodles, but what do you plan to do with your life??

Even here in school, it’s all about graphic design, because that’s something you can actually make money doing. And graphic design is all well and good… I mean, I’m decent at it.

But I don’t care about it. It doesn’t make me feel anything… And it definitely doesn’t bring me joy.

The anxiety I feel at constantly being told I won’t be able to support myself with my art is almost crippling, sucking the satisfaction out of the thing I love. Hence the nonstop weed smoking. At this point, I can’t tell if I’m leaning on the weed for support, as a medication… Or if I’m using it as a crutch, to kill any and all feelings rather than dealing with the harsh reality that maybe I’ll never amount to anything.

I thought coming here to BC would ground me, and help me be more responsible. Help me to finally stop drifting and figure out who the fuck I am; who I want to be. But so far, all it’s done is magnify my insecurities.

Yes, college is where I uncovered my bisexuality. But I don’t think college was responsible for that revelation. It just so happens to be the place where I figured it out.

The only thing attending BC has actually given me is a reason to become a pornstar.

Yea, I know… Pornstar is sort of glorying it. The realistic term, I suppose, would be sex worker… In that people pay me in exchange for performing sex acts. Sex is my work. And despite how it started, I really enjoy doing it.

I like being on OnlyFans. I like the attention, I sure as shit like the money… And I like how it’s broken down some of the sky-high wall between me and Kyran.

That part is still very messy, though. Because while I’m enjoying our time together for more than just the orgasms, I can tell that we’re not exactly on the same page. Kyran is the epitome of hot and cold. One second, we’re melting together, so close it’s like we’re one goddamn person, and the next, he’s the same elusive and detached grump he’s been since the moment I met him.

And that’s the most complicated part of all this… I can’t tell where my stepbrother who thoroughly dislikes me ends, and my business partner who kisses me like my lips are holding him to the earth begins.

It’s all become so convoluted. I know Kyran’s body enjoys what we do together… But his mind is still stuck on seeing this as a means to make money. Which makes the confusing attachment I’ve been forming to him incredibly worrying.

So I suppose I am able to care about things… They’re just not things that will help me in any real way. In fact, it seems like the things I care about are things that will ultimately fuck me over.

It’s a great spot to be in.

Glancing at the picture I’ve been working on, I trace the body on the page with my fingertip, wishing it was real. And no matter how loudly I play the music in my ears, I can’t seem to drown out the sounds of his voice, rasped and panting how badly he wants me.

It’s just physical, I keep reminding myself over and over while I smoke the joint down to my fingertips. You just like how it feels to touch him and kiss him and fuck him, that’s all.

It can’t be more than that, and it won’t be. Because he’s your stepbrother, and he’s doing this for the money.

You both are.

It’s all just an act… for the fans.

An alarm starts pinging in my ear, cutting off the quixotic sounds of lyrics that all seem to remind me of him. Lifting up my phone, I swipe away the alert for the team dinner happening at the stadium in a half-hour.

Two days ago, Coach Matthews sent an email to every member of the Eagles team, which apparently includes all of us—the players, the coaches, cheerleaders, and even the mascot—asking us to show up for a catered buffet dinner in the stadium conference room. I’m not sure exactly what this meeting is about, or why my presence in required, but I’m guessing it probably has something to do with the remaining playoff games and preparing for the Rose Bowl.

I don’t really want to go to this thing, knowing Kyran will be there, and I haven’t spoken to him since our night of hot video phone sex while he was in Arizona. Being the naïve moron I am, I kind of expected him to show up right when he got home. But that was stupid, because he didn’t. I haven’t gotten so much as a text message in the two days since he’s been back, and I refuse to be the one to text him first.

I just don’t want it to feel like I’m chasing after him, because I’m not. I can’t do this to myself… thinking things are happening when they really aren’t. Concocting feelings in my head… it will only lead to more confusion for me, and I have enough of that as it is.

I’m supposed to be figuring myself out, not drumming up more questions.

Slipping into some fresh black jeans and a flannel, I lace up my boots, shrug into my coat, and head out into the nip of December. It hasn’t snowed yet, but they’re predicting it for the holidays next week. We’re supposed to be going home for the break, and to say I’m anxious about it would be putting it mildly.

Attempting to be festive with my mother, Tom, and Kyran just sounds like something that will make me want to fa-la-la-la-light myself on fire.

The walk to the stadium is short, but still my hands are ice cold by the time I get inside. There are people everywhere, varying members of the team meandering the halls toward the conference room, following the smell of food.

As soon as I’m inside, I immediately regret the decision to come here. The room is filled with football players, the coaching staff, and cheerleaders… None of whom even notice me as I slink inside, past the buffet tables lined with warming trays of food.

I’m not trying to actively seek out Kyran, but of course my eyes find him right away. He’s standing in a group of his teammates, chatting and laughing. And he must feel me staring at him, because he looks up, our eyes meeting for a split second that tightens my chest until his break away and return to his friends.

Shaking my head to myself, I find a seat and plop down into it. This is going to suck major ass. And not in the good way.

The chatter amongst the groups of people goes on for minutes, during which I just fidget in my seat, peering around the room in search of booze. Of course there isn’t any… Because more than half the people in here aren’t twenty-one. Not that I’m a huge drinker. I mean, I like to get lit at parties, mainly to help me loosen up and fight that never-ending feeling that I don’t belong anywhere. But now, more than ever, I wish I’d snuck a water bottle filled with Schnapps into my coat pocket.

“Thank you all for coming,” Coach Matthews finally says. Let’s get this show on the road so I can get out of here… “If you would all take a seat, I’ll make this quick. We’re just here to talk about the Rose Bowl, and then you can enjoy some dinner.”

Sighing, I watch Kyran out of the corner of my eye as he walks closer to where I’m seated. There’s an empty chair right next to me, and I see him glance at it. My face tilts in his direction, and he swallows before turning and pulling out a chair at the next table over, sitting down next to Guty and Theo.

Figures. Did you really expect him to sit with you??

“The Eagles have been playing an immaculate season,” Coach starts, his voice booming. “And every person in this room is partly responsible. As a unit, we’ve managed one of the best records this team has ever had, and the best record in the NCAA this season.” He claps. “Give yourselves a round of applause. You deserve it.”

Everyone cheers and hoots, the players bellowing out their enthusiasm louder than everyone else, while I just clap unenthusiastically, feeling beyond awkward even being here.

I’m not a part of this… The stoner art nerd, stranded in a sea of jocks.

“We have two more games to win before we make it to the Rose Bowl,” Coach says as the noise fades. “And I’m fully confident that we’ll be playing in California. So I want to take a moment to single out our captain…” He gestures to Kyran. “Number Nine, Kyran Harbor. Let’s hear it for our quarterback, with the most passing yards in the division!”

The room erupts in cheers, whistles, and applause for Kyran, who’s sitting there, smiling politely. His cheeks are flushed, and I hate the way it flutters my stomach. It’s just so obnoxious how good he looks… Sandy hair always perfectly brushed back by his fingers… Hazel eyes glittering. His sharp jaw and full lips. That body…

I mean, come on. Can he not be hot as fuck for two seconds??

“Kyran, we’re all beyond proud of where you’ve taken our team this season.” Coach grins.

“It’s a group effort,” Kyran murmurs, almost politically. He sounds like he’s running for office. “We got here, together.”

His gaze slides around the room, landing on me for a second, smile wavering just a bit as he looks away. I have to fight not to roll my eyes.

“But I have to give a shout-out to one person… who’s been there for me time and time again,” Kyran says. And for some idiotic reason, my gut starts crawling up my esophagus. He shifts and smiles. “My main man, Samson Gutierrez.”

Everyone whoops as Guty smirks at Kyran, slapping him on the shoulder. My stomach retreats, twisting and turning in this yucky sensation, like I’ve eaten something bad. There’s no plausible reason for me to be jealous right now… It’s not like Kyran and Guty are hooking up. They’re just teammates and best friends.

Right??

I blink hard. No, they’re not hooking up. That’s ridiculous.

And why do you care??

“The two of you, along with the rest of our incredible players, will get us to the Rose Bowl,” Coach says with confidence. “Who’s ready to bring that trophy home to Boston?!”

Everyone jumps up, shouting their excitement. Everyone but me. I may as well be the chair I’m sitting in, I’m so invisible here.

“Alright!” Coach smacks his hands together. “Let’s get ready to kick some Spartan ass! And don’t forget about the team banquet next month. If all goes accordingly, the next time we sit down to dinner together will be the night before the championship game!”

Some more claps and cheers ring out as the assistant coach tells us all to help ourselves to food. People get up and mull around the buffet tables while I wonder how many more minutes I need to sit here before I can casually slip away.

Fuck it. No one would notice if I left.

I’m about to stand up and bolt when a different annoying blonde plops down in the seat next to me.

“Hi, Baldwin!” Lexi Erikson chirps, giggling and flipping her hair over her shoulder. “Are you excited?”

My face should answer that question for her, but I mumble, “Oh yea… I’m so giddy, I might pee myself.”

She shoots me a look, though still beaming with a sparkly white smile. I guess she’s pretty… In your standard, bleach-blonde size-two kind of way. Not my type, but whatever.

I guess I like my blondes taller… with broader shoulders and a permanent scowl.

“Your stepbrother is pretty amazing, huh?” she says on a swoony breath, eyes following Kyran as he scoops lasagna onto a plate, smiling and joking around with Guty and Theo. “If we win this year, he could be looking at a draft to the NFL.”

My forehead lines at her before my gaze slinks to Kyran. I don’t know why this thought never occurred to me… But she’s totally right. Kyran is that good. When the scouts come around next year, I’m sure they’ll have their eyes on him.

Discomfort jabs at my chest from the inside, like a hand poking fingers between my ribs. What if Kyran got drafted? He could end up anywhere in the country… Somewhere far away from here.

I’ve always known the OnlyFans was temporary, but for some reason, this fact just smacked me in the face. He might not even need money for two more years of school…

And then this whole thing would be nothing but a secret memory.

I’m sure it’s Kyran’s dream to go to the NFL. That’s what all football players strive for, isn’t it? Getting to the top? Signing to a national team… Going to the Super Bowl.

They’re achievable goals for superstar Kyran Harbor. He’s already a success, and it won’t be long before he leaves all of this, and his worthless stoner stepbrother behind.

“Yea, look… this has been fun, but I think I’m gonna—”

My words are cut off when Lexi starts waving and squealing, “Guys, over here!”

Guty and Theo stalk over to our table with their plates, while Kyran lingers behind them, glaring like he doesn’t want to sit anywhere near me. But it’s too late. His friends are already taking their seats.

“I was just catching up with Baldwin,” Lexi sneers at me, then shoots a flirtatious smirk at Kyran as he hesitantly wanders over. There’s a seat next to me, and one next to her, and I can see him weighing his options before he sinks down beside Lexi.

Rolling my eyes, I sigh, “You know that’s not my actual name, right?”

“I do.” Her chin lifts in my direction. “But I don’t remember what your actual name is.”

My fingers dig aggressively into my thighs as my jaw tightens. “It’s—”

“I was just talking to your stepbrother about your NFL prospects,” Lexi interrupts me again, turning to flutter her fake lashes at Kyran.

Kyran’s eyes flit nervously to mine before dropping to his plate, where he’s poking at food with his fork. “Even if that did come up, it wouldn’t be until next season…”

“What are you talking about, bro?!” Theo gasps excitedly. “There’s no way the scouts won’t be looking at you!”

“Yea, Nueve,” Guty agrees in between shoveling food into his mouth. “They’ll probably be at the Rose Bowl too. Watching your sexy ass.”

Guty grins teasingly at Kyran, then winks. And now I can’t stop imagining the two of them together… hooking up in secret in their shared dorm room, the way Kyran and I do in mine.

He’s just joking around, idiot. Guty is straight…

And I guess so is Kyran…?

Ugh. This is annoying.

Kyran chuckles, but his amusement falls off his face when our eyes meet. As if my presence physically repels his happiness.

Fuck this shit. I need to leave. I hate it here.

“Hey, Avi…” Guty says my name, distracting me from my exit strategy. “Why don’t you come to the away games?” He glances up from his plate and smirks. “We could use some of your hype during the rest of the playoffs.”

I can’t tell if he’s fucking with me or not, which seems to be a signature for him. He’s loud and jokes around a lot, so it’s hard to tell when he’s being serious.

“Yea, man! I love when you do the robot,” Theo cackles, and Guty nods in agreement, both of them launching into robot moves while seated.

Normally, I would be laughing it off with them, but I’m really not feeling it right now. I’m finding it difficult to even force one of my usual carefree grins, and I think it’s because Kyran’s look of suffocated chagrin is making me twitchy.

“We don’t need him at the away games,” Kyran mumbles, still playing with his food. “He’s too distracting, anyway.”

Uh… Excuse me??

My face contorts in puzzled outrage as I lean in, folding my hands on the table. “Maybe I’m only distracting to you, superstar.”

His eyes lift to mine, shooting rage at me through the swirls of bronze and green. “Whatever, stalker. Don’t act like you signed up to be the mascot for any other reason than to follow me around some more.”

Anger sizzles in my veins like acid as my jaw ticks. “Follow you?? Check your ego, golden boy. I don’t care enough about you to follow you anywhere.”

He drops his fork on his plate with a loud clink, straightening in his seat. “Oh, you mean like you didn’t follow me to BC??”

My mouth falls open in a silent gasp as I look around the table. Guty and Theo are gawking at us both uneasily, as if they’re preparing to break us up. And Lexi has a wicked grin resting on her lips, arms folded over her chest like she’s enjoying the drama.

“What the fuck is your problem?” I hiss at Kyran through gritted teeth.

“As always, you are my fucking problem.” He stands his ground like the goddamn stubborn asshole he is. “You being here is my problem.”

“You’re such an uptight prick,” I scoff.

“Yea, and you’re clearly obsessed with me,” he rumbles smugly, though there’s no amusement on his face or in his tone. He’s straight up being a massive fucking prick to me for no reason, just like he’s been doing since the moment we met.

“I don’t think you wanna pull that thread…” I mutter quietly, then mouth the word baby, cocking my head to the side.

His eyes harden as he grips the edge of the table, maybe to hold himself back. “Just leave, loser. No one wants you here.”

My body is keyed up with adrenaline-fueled fury as I scoot my chair out behind me with a loud scrape, standing fast. “Perfect. Because I’d rather choke to death on this shitty food than spend one more second looking at you.”

Kicking the chair away, I storm out of the room, getting myself the fuck out of there before I explode. I can feel all the eyes in the room on me as I go, but I don’t even fucking care. I just need to leave. Get as far away from him as possible…

I’m fuming the entire walk back to my dorm.

Who the fuck does he think he is?? What gives him the right to talk to me like that?

I haven’t done shit to him but breathe in his fucking presence, and for years he’s been treating me like that’s the worst thing I could ever do. Like my existence is some great tragedy and I just don’t fucking get it.

Just because my mom married his dad?

Just because we’re different…?

Why does that make him hate me so much??

Whipping open the door to my dorm, I stomp inside and slam it shut with a roar. I’m immediately pacing around the room, yanking my hair in my fists. Just when I thought we were finally getting somewhere… Like maybe he’d stopped hating me so much for no reason, he turns around and goes right back to his default bitch ass ways, privileged, stuck-up dickhead that he is.

“Fuck you,” I growl under my breath, storming into the kitchen to grab something that will calm me down.

Opening a bottle of Jack Daniels, I take a large swig, wincing as I do. Then I reach into my pocket for my vape pen, sucking a long, hard drag, holding it in my lungs while I squeeze my eyes shut tight. Letting out the pungent smoke, I try my hardest to calm down, but I’m still fucking pissed. I end up ripping a few more shots from the bottle before I can even unclench my muscles enough to move again.

Robin comes padding over to me with one of her little catnip toys in her mouth that she always carries around, rubbing her body on my legs. I think she can sense that I’m upset, and aiming my hazy gaze down at her, I can’t help but relax just a little.

Scooping her up into my arms, I nuzzle my face on her fuzzy head. “He’s just such a prick sometimes, ya know?”

Her purring is definitely calming me down. Shuffling over to the couch, I plop onto it, petting her while she nestles up on my lap. Thank the gods for this little puffball to cheer me up.

“If he thinks he can just show up here after that, he’s got another thing coming,” I grumble to her while my brain sifts through memories of him showing up in the middle of the night.

It’s what he does, after all. Because no matter how much he hates me, he still likes what we do in secret. I know he does.

And even though I wish I didn’t, I like it too.

If those friends of his only knew… And Lexi, what a dumbass. He can’t even get hard when he tries to hook up with her, yet she’s still just gaga over him. It’s pathetic.

Kyran Harbor has a secret that only I know, and that gives me some comfort while I putter around for the rest of the night. I change into my comfy clothes, eat a bowl of Lucky Charms, then put some music on in my bedroom while I draw.

Without even realizing it, I’ve sketched a picture of Kyran, and unfortunately, it’s not the first. So in order to make myself feel better, I turn this one into a comic of him in his uniform on the football field, bent over on all fours. Face down, ass up. That’s how you like it, right, superstar?

I’m grinning and chuckling to myself, drawing people cheering in the stands, when there’s a knock at my door. And my head falls forward, a helpless growl fleeing my lips.

You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me…

Blatantly ignoring the satisfaction with a dash of excitement fluttering inside me, I stand up and waltz slowly out of the bedroom. But I don’t go to the door right away. I stand there, arms folded over my chest, glaring at it.

More knocking. And I can tell it’s him. He has this way of knocking that’s timidly eager, just like everything else he does with me when no one is around.

“Who is it…?” I call out, smirking.

“Avi… Please let me in,” Kyran calls softly through the door. “We need to talk.”

“I think you said enough,” I grunt. But I can’t help stepping over quietly, peering through the peephole.

I watch him shifting on his feet, fingers sifting into his golden hair. “I just… I need to talk to you. Please?”

His gaze lifts to the peephole, and I shiver when our eyes meet through it. I know he can’t see me, but we’re looking right at each other, and it’s gnawing at my gut like a zombie is eating me alive.

I fucking hate that I want to let him in so badly. I wish I could just tell him to fuck off… But my body doesn’t seem to share my mind’s desire to shut him down.

My hand reaches for the lock as his eyes are flinging up and down the hallway.

“Avi… Please let me in.” He’s practically pouting, and I roll my eyes. At myself, because I’m an idiot.

Turning the lock slowly, I flip it, then open the door. Just a crack.

Our eyes meet and we stare at each other for a second, both of our chests moving through visible breaths of anticipation. It’s futile… The attempts we’re both making.

No matter how hard he tries to push me away, he can’t stop showing up like this. And no matter how hard I fight it, I can’t escape the truth…

I don’t want him to.

Opening the door wider, I watch him as he slinks by me, closing the door and locking it once he’s inside. I press my back to it, chewing on my bottom lip while he ripples in place, wringing his hands and staring at his shoes. His eyes travel up me slowly, landing on mine. His lips part, but nothing comes out.

I’m feeling all hot and itchy under my skin, my fingers twitching with the need to touch him, then smack myself for being so dumb.

I should be yelling at him… calling him an asshole. Maybe even punching him in the face. But I don’t want to do any of that. All I want to do is…

Shoving myself off the door, I push into his space, and he backs up against the wall. His lips are trembling, cheeks blushed pink, eyes wide. I can’t even help myself… I love the way he looks way too much to think rationally.

Acting purely on impulse, I grasp his chiseled jaw in my hands, sealing our bodies together. When our dicks touch, his lashes flutter.

“I… Avi, I’m…” he stammers, but I don’t let him finish.

I don’t want to hear his mouth anymore. I just want to taste it…

Dropping my lips to his, I cut off his words and swallow his sweet, startled gasp, kissing him fast and sucking him rough. There’s very little fight in him right now, none of his usual hesitation. He gives in to me right away, opening up wide for me, petting my tongue with his while we breathe and grunt through the vicious suction.

His hands are shaky as he slides them onto my lower back, fingers creeping inside the waist of my pants. And I’m just holding his face still, keeping him right where I want him, sucking and biting those plush lips until my dick is engorged between us.

Kyran pulls me closer, tugging my hips to his. Grinding my length on him, I can feel how hard he is already, his dick stiff and aching to be freed. Which gives me an idea.

Kissing him a few more times, I pry my lips off and quickly spin him around so that his front is plastered to the wall. I drop a few tender kisses on the nape of his neck, and he arches up to me while I reach around to his front to undo his pants.

Our panting rings through the room as I drop to my knees, bringing his pants and boxers down with me. Cupping his ass, I’m admiring how firm yet perfectly round it is, practically drooling like I’m awaiting a forbidden feast of peachy goodness.

Reaching through his legs, I grab his cock and he groans. I aim it downward, stroking him in my fist, kissing and nipping his cheeks.

“You’re dripping for me, baby,” I hum, trailing my tongue along the crack of his ass until he shudders. There are beads of precum spilling from the head of his cock, and it’s just too mouthwatering to ignore.

Stuffing my face between his legs, I suck on his dick from behind, lapping at his arousal and pushing my tongue into the skin covering his crown. Kyran’s entire body quakes as he grips the wall, pushing his ass back and parting his legs farther.

“Fuck, Avi…” he whimpers while I lose myself in sucking him, moving my mouth up and down on his dick where it’s aimed between my lips like he’s feeding it to me. “You suck me so good…”

Head thickly fogged with lust, I squeeze his ass, swirling my tongue around and around on his velvety head, sucking the skin with my lips and chasing the salty flavor that’s leaking into my mouth. Using my other hand, I tease his nuts with my fingers, caressing and pulling them, maybe a little hard.

I might want to punish him, just a tad.

Kyran gasps, and I peek up to find him gazing down at me. “Avi… I’m sorry.”

Releasing his cock from my lips, I mumble, “I know. It’s okay,” then slide him back into my mouth.

“No. It’s not,” he insists, groaning at the sensation. But I hear emotion racking his voice. My eyes stay locked on his while he bites his lip, resting his forehead on the wall. “I’m just… I’m so fucking confused…”

The quiver in his words tears into my chest. I slurp off of his dick and stand, my chest bumping his back. Taking his chin between my fingers, I tug his face to kiss his lips, soft but urgent. I don’t really know what to say, but I’m also not sure if words will even help this situation.

I just want to show him how good it is when we do this.

“You’re here,” I whisper on his pouty mouth, “Because you want to be…”

He nods, reaching out for my hand. I give it to him, and he laces our fingers, bringing them up to his chest.

“Then get naked for me, baby,” I command in a hushed tone. “Like you want to.”

I drag him into the bedroom, and he comes willingly. Holding his pants up, he stops in front of my bed, eyes flicking to the tripod. Then he looks to me, blinking like he doesn’t know what to do with himself, because I think it’s clear he doesn’t care if we film this or not. But then not filming would mean something else… Something I don’t think either of us is prepared to deal with right now.

Quickly, I turn on the camera, then take a seat on my bed, gazing up at him. I don’t even need to tell him what to do. He lifts his shirt over his head, then shoves his pants down, kicking off his shoes and removing everything to make him fully naked—except for his socks again—and stunningly fucking gorgeous.

Maybe it’s weird, but I like the socks. It’s a look that works for him.

I can’t take my eyes off of his body; the creamy complexion, slopes of muscle definition everywhere. Unmarked. He’s a blank canvas, and I’m overflowing with the desire to use my body to bring his to life.

“Come here.” I recline, and he drops onto his knees on the mattress, crawling over me without hesitation. “Take my pants off.”

Kyran’s fingers slip into the waistband of my sweats, tugging them down my legs slowly. He inches back up, but pauses with his face over my hips. His eyes are dark and glistening in his clear state of curious arousal as I bite my lip, taunting him with a look that he has no trouble reading.

Flattening his tongue, he drapes it over my balls, licking a warm, wet line all the way up my dick, like it’s a big, tasty flesh popsicle. It feels so fucking good, my cock lurches forward at the sensation, and Kyran’s eyes light up. He does it again, slower, and wetter, licking me up and down until my head drops back on the pillow.

“Goddamn, that’s good…” I shudder while he paints me with his tongue, dropping a soft kiss on my glistening tip. “That’s it, baby… Just like that.”

“Like this?” His eyes stay with mine as he kisses again, slow, seductively kissing the head of my cock over and over, his tongue peeking out to tease me until my dick is so hard, it’s stretched up to my navel, shiny with veins popping out everywhere.

He traces them with his tongue and I’m falling apart.

Reaching for his head, I thread my fingers through his hair, easing his mouth over my cock. I’ve never felt anything like the way he’s sucking me right now… Gulping me into the back of his throat, gradually pumping me between his soft lips while his hips grind into the bed. It’s the best head I’ve ever gotten in my life, and if I don’t stop him soon, I’ll be shooting a surprise all over his warm tongue.

“Want a drink?” I mumble, with my toes curling at the fantastic oral performance he’s giving me.

He nods, gliding his mouth up and down every inch of my cock. Then he pops off and breathes, “That’s what I’m driving toward…”

I chuckle. “No, I mean an actual drink.” My thumb swipes his wet bottom lip as he gazes up at me. “There’s a bottle of Jack in the kitchen. Go grab it.”

He gives me a puzzled look for a moment, but doesn’t question me. Sliding off the bed, he staggers out of the room, giving me the opportunity to ogle his ass and all those sexy muscles in his back while he walks away. He returns a moment later with the bottle, crawling back into bed and handing it to me.

Tugging him by the arm, I push him down onto his back and straddle his hips, quickly enough that his eyes widen in surprise. “Open your mouth.”

His chest is jumping while his lips part. I open the bottle and take a sip, leaving it in my mouth as I lean over him. Our dicks are resting together, and I have to take a second to caress mine along his length, loving the sounds he makes when he’s crazy turned on and nervous.

Taking his jaw in my hand, I hover over his mouth like I’m about to kiss him. But instead, I spit the booze in between his ready and waiting lips. He actually hums from within his chest as the liquor dribbles into his mouth. And I watch on eagerly at the delicious sight of his throat adjusting to swallow, some of the liquid spilling over from the corner of his mouth. Using my tongue, I lap it up, then capture his lips, and he kisses me back, feeding me his tongue to taste the fiery bourbon from within his mouth.

“So fucking hot.” I rock my dick into his while his eyes droop shut. “Want more?”

He nods fast. “Yes, please.”

“Mmm… So you can be nice to me,” I murmur, sloshing around the bottle of booze. My hand runs up the hard lines of his abs, then onto his chest, cupping his pectoral. “You’re a good boy when we’re all alone…”

“Avi, I said I’m sorry,” he whispers, but I shake my head.

“Not right now.”

I take another sip of liquor, spitting it into his mouth. He arches up to me to get it, swallowing and breathing out a ragged groan.

Closing the bottle, I drop it onto the floor, grabbing his hand and using two of his fingers to swipe his wet lips. Then I bring them to my mouth, stuffing them inside and sucking them hard.

He’s squirming beneath me, his cock trapped on his abs by mine, both of them thick and throbbing while my hips move to rub them together. I’m high on the feeling, all electric warm sensation as I suck on his fingers, dragging them out of my mouth and down my chest to tease my nipple.

“Avi…” he whines, hoarse and shivering.

“Mhm?”

God, the feeling of his wet fingers on my nipple has my balls thumping.

“Tell me…” His voice trails off, and he gulps.

I peer down at him, and his cheeks are all manners of flushed. “Tell you what?”

He swallows visibly again, whispering, “Tell me you think I’m beautiful.”

He bites his lip, and my head is swimming. I don’t know why he’s asking me for this… There’s no possible way he doesn’t know how purely gorgeous he is. People have been telling him he’s beautiful the whole time I’ve known him… Myself included in the recent weeks.

But there’s something about the way his eyes are gleaming up at me. The way he’s touching me, his fingers slowly brushing up and down my thighs. I think he might be… coming to terms with something. And apparently, I’m a part of that, which makes me feel so damn special, I think my heart is actively trying to spring out of my chest like a cuckoo clock.

I don’t want to put too much stock in this, because he’s always a little affectionate when we’re together in private. And come tomorrow, he’ll be back to acting like we’re nothing. But for right now, I can see the Kyran who comes back to me; the one who knocks on my door in the middle of the night and crawls into bed with me, awaiting something that only I can give him.

I really, really like that Kyran. Even if he’s not real.

Letting go of his hand, I melt over him, brushing his lips with mine. “Baby… You are so goddamn beautiful. I don’t think, I know.”

Kyran trembles beneath me, fingertips grazing my lower back. Then he mumbles, barely audibly, “You’re beautiful too, Avi. I think you’re… so fucking sexy.”

I freeze for a moment, stunned by what I’m hearing. I don’t want to freak him out by gawking at him, but I really can’t help it.

He just called me… Sexy?

I mean, beautiful is one thing. Flowers are beautiful.

But sexy?? You only call things sexy when you’re physically attracted to them. And sure, maybe it just means that he wants to have sex with me, but even that is sort of amazing.

This isn’t just for the camera… I can tell. He’s actually feeling this.

Kyran blinks at me, because I’m just staring at him like an idiot. “I mean, I know you are. You’re hot as fuck… and your body is… perfect.”

He’s suddenly much squirmier, gnawing on his lower lip while he breaks our eye contact. I’m trying so hard to fight the psychotic grin on my lips, so I lower my face into the crook of his neck to hide it.

“Is it…?” I rumble, kissing his warm skin.

“Yea,” he croaks, as my tongue circles his pulse.

“Does my body turn you on, Ky?”

He nods. “Yea…” I peek up at him and he forces a little scowl that no one’s buying. “But don’t tell anyone I said that.”

I chuckle and he grins, playing with my hair beneath my backwards cap.

“Okay, fine,” I breathe teasingly. “Your secret’s safe with me.”

He hums, settling into the bed. “Call me gorgeous again…”

“Anything you want, gorgeous.” I kiss the words down his throat and onto his chest. “You’re so fucking pretty, baby.” I trace the curves of his pectoral muscle with my tongue. “Delicious… I could sink my teeth into you.”

He purrs as my lips cover his nipple, sucking it rough and wet until his back arches. “Your mouth feels… amazing.”

“You like it when I kiss you everywhere, beautiful thing?” I flick his nipple with my tongue, then tug it between my teeth.

“Ah… yes.”

His dick is leaving a sticky mess all over the place, and it’s turning me into a wild animal. Moving over to his other nipple, I suck on it for minutes, grinding our hips together until we’re both panting and groaning. Then I bite the curve of his pec, sucking and sucking, harder and harder. Kyran is whining and whimpering like he loves the feeling, and when I finally let go of his flesh, there’s a purple mark where my lips were.

Oh crap… I gave him a hickey on his chest.

Staring at it, my thoughts blur, and I move my lips down to his abs, kissing and sucking and biting there too… Leaving three more dark purple marks down the stones of muscle.

I peer up at him, and he’s totally out of it. Head tipped back, eyes closed, lips shivering. He doesn’t even notice what I’m doing. Grinning to myself, I continue my descent down his body, making more hickeys on his pelvis. Naturally, I have to stop to suck on his cock for a few minutes, because I just can’t not. It’s so big and thick and tasty… But then I force myself off of it, kissing his inner thighs.

“Flip over for me, gorgeous,” I breathe, sitting back and spinning him onto his stomach.

He goes gladly, and I return to kissing and nipping his sweet, warm, blushed flesh, making a few more hickeys on the taut cheeks of his ass.

“You’re biting me an awful lot…” he rumbles, pushing his butt up to my mouth like he likes it.

I chuckle, cupping him in my hands and spreading him open while he gasps. “Oh, how foolish of me. I came back here to lick.”

Wasting no time, because seriously, I’ve been wanting to do this for a while now, I lower my lips between his ass and feather my tongue over his hole.

“Uhhfuck… Avi, wait…” He wriggles, fingers digging into the comforter. “Wait… No one’s ever—oh. Ohhyess that feels good…”

I’m literally grinning in his ass, lapping at him, kissing and sucking on his sweet little rim like the fucking snack he is. I mean, I’ve never had my ass eaten before either, but I can only imagine that it must be a luscious tickle based on the way he’s writhing up to my mouth. I want to keep going, but I’m out of my mind already.

I need to get inside him before I end up coming all over the bed.

“Baby, grab the lube from underneath my pillow,” I growl, with my mouth buried between his cheeks, kissing only a few more times before I sit back.

He hands me the lube, and I pour a bunch out onto my fingers, swiping them over his hole. I feel him clench at my touch and I let out a jagged breath, tugging my dick to get it nice and wet.

“Do you know…” I rasp, yanking his hips up until he’s on his knees, “how much I’ve been dying to fill you with my cock again?”

He peeks at me over his shoulder. “As much as I’ve been craving it?”

Draping my chest over his back, I grab his jaw while my cock slips and slides between his cheeks. “Craving what?” I kiss him, gliding my tongue into his mouth.

“You…” he breathes shakily on my lips. “Your dick filling me. You… fucking me.” He gulps, and I hum.

“Once wasn’t enough, was it, beautiful?”

He shakes his head. “No. I don’t care about anything else when you’re riding my ass with your big cock.”

I shiver so hard, I’m almost convulsing. “Baby, you’re ruining me…” I draw my hips back, guiding up to his hole.

“Now you know how I feel,” he purrs.

Resting my forehead in his hair, I work against his body’s resistance, nudging my crown into his ass until the lube helps it slip inside. He whines out a hoarse noise that drives me crazy, baring his hips against mine while I feed inches of my cock into him. Stretching him around my girth, driving in slow until my pelvis taps his cheeks.

“You’re so tight, Kyran…” I croak, building up shallow pumps within the searing hot grip of his body. “Your ass is sucking my cock.”

“Mmm… Mmmffuck so good.” His lips tremble nonsense, arms shaking as he holds himself up. “Fuck me, Avi… Hard.”

“Are you sure?” Chills sheet my flesh, my heart hammering into his back while I draw out slowly, then slide back in. I can’t even comprehend how fantastic this feels…

Sex has never felt like this before… It’s never been as good as it is with him.

“Yes.” His face falls forward into the pillow. “Fucking wreck me.”

“Whatever you want, baby.” I grab onto his hips, tugging my cock out almost all the way, then slamming it back in hard. He sobs into the pillow, like maybe it hurt. But his entire body is quaking as he stretches his arms out above his head, fingers grasping at the sheets like he’s all sensation. “I’ll give you anything you want, just please don’t take this ass away from me…”

I don’t know what I’m saying… I can’t seem to control the things flowing from my lips while I’m driving into him like this, holding him still and fucking into him deep.

“It’s yours,” Kyran whines, much to my surprise, moaning and whimpering as my cock works in and out of the hot, slick, tight channel of his ass. “I swear… nothing feels like this.”

“So this is better than your fingers?” I grunt, pumping harder and harder.

“Ffuuck yes. So much… better.”

The slapping of my skin against his mingles with our collective groans and broken gasps, and the creaking of my bed frame to make the most illicit music I’ve ever heard. It sounds like someone’s getting turned the fuck out, which is exactly what’s happening, and I love it way too much. I’m dripping with sweat from how hard my muscles are straining, fucking and fucking and fucking him until I’m about to come and collapse at the same time.

Lifting a hand from where my fingertips are bruising his hip, I reach around to tease his dick, which is as hard as a metal pole and jamming into the bed. He shivers and clenches on me, the feeling driving me to play with him some more, squeezing his balls and fisting his cock. There’s so much precum spilling from him, his dick is soaked. Swiping some on my fingers, I bring them up to his lips and push them inside his mouth.

“Taste that?” I whisper while he greedily sucks on my fingers. “Only I make you do this…”

“Mmm,” he hums in agreement.

“That’s from my dick in your ass, Kyran.”

He nods frantically. Ripping my fingers out of his mouth, I grab him by the throat and haul him up until his back melds with my chest. His fingers dig into my thighs, and he grinds against me, taking over the thrusts by bouncing up and down on my cock.

“Fuck yea, baby… Ride me,” I growl in his ear, sucking the lobe with my hand still around his throat, the other on his chest, toying with his nipples.

“Why do you feel so good…” He writhes against every inch of my cock buried deep in his ass. “I can’t believe how good this feels… Fffuck, Avi, I love your dick.”

“That’s your secret, isn’t it, baby?” I brush my fingers down to where his cock is slapping against his abs with his frantic movements. “Superstar Kyran Harbor loves a big dick in his ass?”

He nods again, resting his body weight on me as he rocks himself up and down, that tight hole stroking me so good, I’m about to burst. “I’m gonna fffucking… come.”

“Say it,” I hiss, squeezing his throat harder. “You can’t come until you say it…”

“Fuck me, I love it…” he cries, all of his muscles tightening. “I love a big dick in my ass…”

Circling his nuts with my thumb and forefinger, I grip them hard until he chokes. “Whose?”

“Yours, Avi. I love your big, hard dick fucking my ass.”

“You wanna come on your stepbrother’s cock?”

“Yesss, please,” he gasps.

“Is your warm, tight hole gonna suck out your stepbrother’s come?”

He sounds like he can barely breathe, whining the strangled words, “I want it… I want my stepbrother to drain his balls deep in my ass.”

Jesus, his filthy fucking mouth is gonna make me come… “I’m there, baby,” I tell him as my balls tighten and I fuck up into him rough, animalistic in the way we’re slamming our bodies together. “Come for me, gorgeous.”

“I’m coming for you…” His entire body shudders, and he groans out loud.

Pulses of slick orgasm shoot up from his cock, hitting him in the chest and flowing down his muscles. I’m watching it happen over his shoulder, mesmerized at how fucking sexy he looks when he comes.

He is so beautiful… Gorgeous and perfect… and mine.

Kyran’s body slumps forward, and I hold his cheeks open, watching my dick disappear into his ass as my own climax pulls me over the edge. And I begin throbbing inside him.

“Fill me, Avi…” he whimpers, reaching underneath us to massage my balls, fingers tracing where we’re joined. The feeling keeps my orgasm going on for longer than I thought possible. And my thrusts don’t stop chasing it, pushing my cum into him as deep as I can get it.

“God, I fucking love coming in you…” I groan, my voice all hoarse and shaky. I lean over his back, our slick muscles sliding together while I rut into him, milking it all out. “You’re so perfect the way you take it, baby.”

“Keep going…” he pleads quietly. “Keep fucking me.”

My brain is hazy as I give him what he wants, stroking my dick in him until it begins to soften. I don’t even understand it, but he can’t get enough, mewling and gasping the entire time, like he might be having multiple orgasms… Which I didn’t even know was possible for guys.

I know he would hate to hear this, but I think Kyran is a power bottom. Seriously… Whether he likes it or not, he was made to take dick in his ass.

But then something unwanted pops into my head… An image of him with someone who isn’t me. Pictures of him giving his ass to other guys are swarming my mind, and I hate it. It makes me want to retch.

Pulling out, I flop down onto the bed beside him, and he collapses with a breath, stretching out his limbs. I struggle to swallow the ickiness climbing up my throat, focusing on running my fingers along his bicep while he rolls onto his side, blinking at me. My hat is half dangling off my head, so he pushes it off the rest of the way. And I have no freaking idea what makes me do this, but before his arm pulls away from me, I press a kiss onto his wrist.

He stares at me for a moment, eyes glazed from the orgasm, hair all tousled around. He looks amazing, and I really hate it. I hate how good he always looks, and how I can’t help but fixate on it. I hate how I just know that everyone fixates on it, and it’s only a matter of time before he decides to… branch out and let other people see him the way I am right now.

“Are you going to run away again…?” I whisper, gliding my fingers down to the bruises already forming on his hip.

“Would it matter?” He chews on his swollen bottom lip. “I’ll just show back up…” His eyes fall from mine while I fall into the spell of his Adam’s apple sliding in his throat. “I can’t stop…”

“Then stop trying,” I hum, going for broke and sloping my calf over his, nestling into him. Kissing his neck, shoulder, arm…

“But I have to.” He pulls back, sitting up like he’s about to bolt.

I sigh out of frustration, and some sadness I wish wasn’t there, dropping my face into the pillow. “You don’t… But whatever.”

The feel of his fingers tracing mine curls my neck, and I peer up at him.

“Avi… I need you to know that I’m really sorry about what I said earlier,” he mumbles, in a tone I haven’t heard from him all that often. Sincerity, and regret. “I didn’t mean any of it, I was just…”

“Being an asshole.” I smirk, and he chuckles.

“Yea,” he sighs, nodding slowly. “A huge, obnoxious asshole.”

“Well, at least you can admit it,” I breathe, wriggling myself closer to him.

“I still have to go, though.” He inches away.

I shake my head petulantly. “No.”

“Yes.” He grins.

I walk my fingers up his thigh. “I’ll only forgive you if you stay…”

“Avi, I can’t stay here.” His tone grows a little firmer, the seriousness pulling my eyes up to his.

“Because you’re afraid of someone seeing you leave in the morning…”

He swallows, but doesn’t respond.

I know I’m going to regret asking this, but I can’t help myself.

“Don’t you want to know what this looks like when it’s not hidden away in the middle of the night?”

He stares at me for a moment in silence before rumbles, “I… I don’t know.”

Huffing out of pure despondence, I flop onto my back. “Fine. Bye, Kyran. I’ll see you next time you decide to swing by.”

“Why are you being like this?”

“Because.” I sit up fast. “You were a huge, obnoxious asshole to me today, Kyran. And then you showed up, and I should have told you to fuck off. But I didn’t…” I gulp. “Because I can’t.”

He blinks at me. “Don’t be mad…”

I shake my head. Do I even know how to be mad? Do I know how to act around people who make me feel the way he does?

No. The answer is fucking no, because this is the first time I’ve ever experienced it.

He leans in, softly kissing my lips. But it’s over too quick, and he’s pulling away when I want to be sinking in deeper.

“I’ll see you later.”

He gets up, bringing his clothes with him into the bathroom. And I just flop back down into the bed, covering my face with the pillow to distract myself from the fact that he’s in there, and he probably didn’t lock the door again.

And my pillow smells like him. My whole damn bed smells like him… Like amber and honey and something citrusy I can’t place…

Oh, shit. Flinging upright, my face tilts in the direction of my camera, which is still recording. I shake my head and get up, turning it off.

Once again, I forgot we were filming. Because the Fans is seeming more and more like an afterthought lately.

“Avi!” Kyran’s voice roars from inside the bathroom, and I press my lips together.

Guess he finally noticed the hickeys…

He comes storming out in his boxers, fuming, and it’s a struggle to keep from grinning, or admiring how incredible he looks decorated in my little love bites.

“Are you fucking serious?!” he hisses.

“What’s wrong?” I play dumb, giving him a few innocent flutters of my eyelashes.

“You know I’m a football player, right?” he seethes. “I have to strip down in front of other guys in the locker room…”

“That sounds fun.” I allow a teasing smirk out, and it clearly enrages him further.

“This isn’t funny!” he barks. “How am I going to explain this??”

Stepping over to him, I assess the marks on his chest, and his abs… leading down into his boxer briefs. “Just say they’re from a girl.” I shrug.

“They’re on my ass,” he growls, and I slap my hand over my mouth to keep the chuckles in. “Along with these nice fingerprint bruises!” He tugs his boxers down a bit, and now I kind of feel bad.

I don’t really regret marking him the way I did… He deserves it for being an asshole earlier. But still, he has a point. It might be difficult to claim a girl did that.

Tracing the marks with my finger, I hear him exhale, and my eyes slide up to his. “It’s really sexy, though…”

His visible anger slips away, and he blinks at me, parting his lips like he’s going to say something. But then his chin dips, to where Robin is rubbing herself on his legs. I have to grin, because it’s pretty cute. She’s comforting him when he’s upset, just like she does to me.

Kyran looks like he doesn’t know what to do with her, glancing at me with his brow cocked. “What’s its name?”

“Robin.” I bite my lip.

He squints down at her. “Why Robin?”

“Because she’s my sidekick,” I tell him. He peeks at me. “I’m Batman.”

A laugh bubbles out of him, and I feel like the inside of my chest is on fire. “Cute. Is one of Batman’s moves to leave hickeys all over his enemies? I don’t remember reading that in any of the comics…”

I didn’t know he read Batman… Interesting.

Chuckling, I tilt my head at him. “Could be one way to defeat you…”

“And which villain am I?”

Curling my fingers around his hip, I lean in to his ear. “I’d say you’re Mr. Freeze… Because you’re ice cold.”

He swallows, and I melt our warm flesh together, kissing his neck slowly while he whispers, “Am I…?”

“Not always.” My hand runs up his chest. But before I can continue with my shameless attempts at getting him to stay, he pulls away.

“I have to go, Avi.” He gives me a look like he’s not really sure if he wants to, and it’s starting to rip me up a little.

I just nod—it’s all I can do—as he wanders back into the bathroom, getting dressed quickly.

On his way out the door, he stops to look over his shoulder. His eyes drop to the cat, and he says, “Bye, Robin.” Then he aims those pretty orbs of awed hazel at me and whispers, “Bye, Batman.”