Chapter 130

Alariac “Are you okay?” Leonardo asked, noticing that I was sitting outside in front of the door.

I smiled, and nodded as he put a blanket over my shoulder. He put a mug of tea beside me before taking a seat.

“Tell me, what’s bothering you?” He asked, and I scoffed. “The two of us were good friends, Alaria.”

“I know, and we never ended that friendship too.” I said, and he smiled, wrapping an arm around me. I leaned in toward his touch and laid my head over his shoulder.

“You miss him, don’t you?” He asked, and I closed my eyes.

“He is here in front of me, but I know that I can’t approach him. The two of us stand in front of one another, wo look one another in the eye, and our past hits me harder than I could even describe.” I said, keeping my eyes on the sky. “The fact that I know that I am in love with him while I don’t know if the feelings are mutual. And one minute I do see his feelings toward me and a second later, I see his feelings for her”

“You know, he never did love her, right? I mean, not after the two of you got a divorce. Their feelings perished a long time into your marriage and when he married her, it was more of a…”

“You are only defending him because he is your friend,” I said, and Leonardo chuckled.

“You are my friend too, and I am not going to lie to you about this, Alaria.” He said, and I moved from his shoulder. I kept the blanket around my shoulder, and looked down at the mug of tea before picking it up. Leonardo had one for himself too. “Things are complicated, and he is looking at the woman that he lived with for a long time. He is questioning things, himself, maybe. And you know that there is a lot for him to have to accept; it is not easy, Alaria.”

“And I never said that it was. I can’t blame him for the way that he feels, but I am blaming myself for the feelings that I have.” I said, and he took a deep breath. “I know that loving him is breaking me, especially when I don’t know whether or not they are mutual. I know he might say that it is, you might even say it, but eyes speak louder. And at this point, I can’t see him. I can’t see him. It is like the man that I knew is no longer there.”

“Of course, he is not.” He said, and I looked away from Leonardo. “And neither are you.”

I looked at the man for a moment and he smiled. He put his hand on my knee, squeezing it gently.

“You know, when I first saw you and dealt with you, I never did expect that you were the same woman that I knew before.” He said, looking me in the eye. “I saw someone different, a woman who is strong, and a woman who would not be standing for anyone sh it; and I have to admit, even I questioned, are you the same woman that we knew before? I asked myself, would be dealing with you the same way that I used to deal with you before? Would the two of us be friends? But look at us, here we are, friends, talking, Eke we used to before.”

He put his hand on my shoulder, squeezing it gently, and I smiled. “I learned, after a while, that we all change depending on the circumstances that we live through. And we learn to either value it or choose not to accept it.”

“You are going to need to learn to accept him just as he accepts you, because trust me, he has accepted you the way that you are. And he has chosen to give into you. It is something that he hasn’t done in a long time, and you know that he wouldn’t be doing so, Alaria.” Leonardo said, and I took a deep breath. “You are the good in him, you are the last good in you, and you are the one thing that will keep his sanity right now.”

“The fact that you are saying that I am a ‘thing’ is something that I find amusing.” I said, and he laughed. “But I don’t know if I can do this, Leonardo. don’t know if I can just let go of everything that happened. It is not easy to let go of the fact that I was cheated on, that he had a mistress, and then that he divorced me to marry her. I can’t get over the fact that I am always in second place, Leo.”

“And you know that you are not the only one who is scared of taking risks, Alaria.” Enzo said, taking me off guard as he walked toward us. Leonardo stood, looking at his Alpha, and both men nodded before Leonardo smiled at me. He put his hand on my shoulder, and I took a deep breath before the man walked inside, leaving me alone with Enzo.

His eyes met mine and I crossed my arms over my chest. “While I understand that are hurt, and I understand that I broke you; I was s p i d. I was young, foolish, and what I did, Katherine, she was everything that I ever wanted once upon a time. I was d e nough to think or believe that it was what I wanted. Because the older I grew, the more that I understood that I was wrong. The peace that I had, it was you who gave it to me. I didn’t find it elsewhere, and though I might have been a little too late to get to know it…”

“You saw me as your second option, Enzo. It is what I am trying to explain to you. You looked at me as if I were nothing, and no matter how much I am going to try to explain it, Enzo, you are not going to understand me right now.” I said, shaking my head at the man.

“Then explain it to me.” He said, taking both my hands in his. “Because you are the ONE person would make me feel like my world would stop if you weren’t around.”

that I want to be with, and you are the one person who “Would it?” I asked, and he took a deep breath.

“Sometimes you don’t understand the value of what you’ve had until you’ve lost it.” He said, giving me a gentle smile. “And I know for fact that I have lost you. And the idea of not managing to explain that to you is something that I find painful.”

“Anyhow, you can have a good night. I’ll go and get some rest.” He said, leaning in. He kissed my cheek, letting his lips linger there for a moment before pulling away. “And I suggest that you do that too…”