Torn

A long-needed break from wattpad is exactly what I needed! Merry Christmas and I hope everyone spent the holidays surrounded by family, loved ones, and friends. Here's my late Christmas gift.

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3 months later...

My life in Milan moved on like it didn't skip a beat. Work, family, going out with friends, exercising repeat. Every day a new adventure. Every day I learned something new about myself. Every moment spent away from the Vincenzo's has been spent finding myself. It got to the point where I started to forget what Dominic looked like. His scent faded from my memories, the sound of his voice, the way he walked were starting to be a blur. He was becoming a distant memory and for some reason, I was okay with that. I did miss him. I missed the happy moments even if they were so minuscule. I missed the potential he saw in me. Yet these things could only be appreciated now that I found myself and learned to love myself. He tried to tell me in his fucked up ways how much potential and power I held in my grasps. I couldn't understand what he meant until I went to discover myself alone. I do hold power and potential. I see such a promise in my future that I've never seen before. I can't repay Dominic enough for allowing me to find myself without his influence.

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My 21st birthday was approaching faster than I anticipated. I've been dreading my birthday for a long time because I knew that once I was 21, I would have to live with Dominic. Now that I'm free... I'm excited to celebrate my birthday. The girls and I have been talking about taking a trip down to New York to celebrate my birthday in the big apple! I've been saving my paycheques so I could do everything that New York has to offer. Although nothing is finalized, I'm meeting up with the girls this weekend to book tickets.

Friday couldn't have come any slower. Work has become more stressful than usual with the new properties that we've obtained and the possible talk of branching outside of Milan. There have been back to back meetings, irritating buyers with annoying and nonstop questions and my boss has been in a mood for the past couple of days. But it was all worth it when the clock struck 5 pm and it was time for me to leave. Instead of heading home, as usual, I decided to stop by my parent's house. My relationship with Papa hasn't changed since I've come home. We completely ignore each other whenever I come by. He usually retires upstairs to his study or disappears randomly. The hurt is still there but I know this decision isn't because of me. He chose this route and he's too stubborn to talk to me. I refuse to make life easier for him. When he's ready to have a conversation he knows where to find me.

When I arrived at my parent's house, Papa's car wasn't in the driveway but Mama's car was. I could see her through the kitchen window cooking and dancing softly. She loves to dance whenever she was baking and home alone.

"Mama, I'm here!" I shouted as I walked through the front door.

"In the kitchen!" I followed the soft music towards the kitchen. Mama stood by the oven singing along to some old Italian song. I could smell her freshly baked apple pie from the moment I opened the front door. I gave her a kiss on the cheek before sitting at the island.

"How was work Ally?" Mama asked.

"Good, stressful but good."

"You've been working a lot. I hope you've been saving that money."

"I am, mama. I'm actually considering taking a trip to New York for my birthday coming up."

"New York?! Why would you want to go so far?"

"Mom I can't remember the last time I left Europe. Spending my 21st birthday in one of the busiest and most beautiful cities in the world is beyond a dream of mine. I'm taking full advantage of my freedom."

Mama walked over to the cabinet and pulled out two large wine glasses. She grabbed a bottle of sparkling white wine before sitting beside me on the island. She poured a small of wine in both glasses before passing me my glass.

"Speaking of freedom, are you going to call Dominic? It's been like 3 months and you haven't contacted him once. I am surprised and beyond grateful he has left alone to figure yourself out but you have to face him sooner or later."

"Mama if I call him...he might order me to come back. I don't want to be forced to go back."

"I understand that Amore, but what do you honestly expect? To live here for the rest of your life and expect him not to come looking for you? People have been talking. They think you've run away and that Dominic can't run his household. A man of his stature who can't run his household isn't fit to run a business of his demeanor."

Mama has the connections everywhere so whatever gossip is being spread it will come to her eventually. Dominic lasting 3 months with absolutely no contact with me is beyond big of him and I know it caused more damaged for him than good. I couldn't be more grateful for his sacrifice of letting me go but...if I call him and it's the same bullshit I can't accept that.

"Do you know if he's...like okay?"

"From what I'm hearing, no one's sure. He's been in hiding since we left. He only comes out for business meetings and people have said he's more ruthless than usual. No one is allowed in or out of the estate and his parents have been shunned out. I think you made Dominic go insane."

"What do you think I should do?"

"Call him. I don't like the man but giving you your space is a move I can respect. He gave you something that he took away from you and most can't say that. The least you can do is give him a phone call and have a conversation. You made a public commitment in front of the most powerful families in Italy. Don't ruin you're future for a moment of happiness."

Months ago I could barely get Mama to control herself around Dominic, now she wants me to call him? She has a point. I made a public commitment with Dominic in front of his entire family and both business and blood. These people have the potential to ruin my happiness because I'm disrespecting their family. If I don't handle this my own way, Dominic might handle it his own way and we all know his way doesn't sit well with me.

I took my glass of wine and went outside to the backyard. A quick text to Damon got me Dominic's personal number that he always answers. My heart skipped thousands of beats as I typed his number into my phone. My finger shook as I pressed the call button.

Ring

Ring

Ring

......

"What!" A deep growl barked through the speaker. The ability to speak disappeared for a moment. All these unexplained emotions filled my soul. Hearing his voice felt like fire in my heart. There's no words to describe how I felt.

"Hi, Dominic."

Silence.

"It's been a while. We should  have a talk."

"Alessandra." The whisper of my name brought shivers down my spine. I felt the relief and pain through each breath he took. I could hear the hurt in his voice. The anger I caused to grow within him. My happiness brought him pain. The irony...

"I would ask how have you've been but I've been updated. You've been living the hermit life."

"I guess you can say that."

"I wanted to thank you. I've been home for 3 months and you haven't checked up on me in any way. No guards, spyware...nothing. You gave me my freedom."

"You wanted to be free...from me. I can't be the monster who drove you away. Not anymore."

Hearing him speak made me weak with sadness. I am happy to be free yet when he said free from him my heart tore apart in my chest. Those words coming from his broken lips made me feel like a monster. This relationship is so toxic that I'm happy when I'm alone but sad when I see what my freedom is doing to him.

"I've realized how unhappy you were with me. I understand what you've been saying to me repeatedly. I've decided to let you go, Alessandra. I've caused more pain to you that I could mend. The only thing I could do for you is to let you go."

"What?"

"I don't deserve love. I can't appreciate it and I can't show it the way it should be shown. I drove you away. For a moment I held your love and still managed to fuck everything up. A monster doesn't deserve love as pure as yours. Your light was destroyed around me. I am too dark for you."

"So...you want to let me go?"

"Yes. I don't want to destroy you anymore. I don't want to make you unhappy. You ran away from me, I got the message."

"What will you do then?"

"I'll announce our decoupling and continue to be the ruthless monster I'm meant to be."

Tears fell from my eyes. I'm confused. This time apart was meant to be a healing process for me and him. He made a promise he was going to get me back and deep down I wanted him to change and work on himself so he can get me back. I remember when we were good. I know there could be potential and that he might very well be my soulmate but we needed to detox our relationship. Now he wants to throw it all away? I've called him a monster time and time again and now he believes he's the worst monster of them all. A monster wouldn't let me go free and give me something I wanted more than anything else. Dominic is spirling more than healing and that's the last thing I wanted. Now it's me who created the monster.

"You can live with letting me go? Letting me get married to someone else, have someone else's kids? Go and live a life far away from you." I questioned angrily.

"I have to be. I have no choice." He gritted out.

"What if that's not the choice I want to make. Here you are making choices for me again! What about what I want?"

"I can't make you happy Alessandra! One minute you want to leave and I want to give you full freedom away from me now you're fighting me on this?"

"Because you keep making decisions for me instead of ASKING ME! All you ever had to do is ask me! Ask me about moving rooms with you, ask me about my parents, ask me about the choices I make...JUST ASK ME! I wanted you to take this time to reflect and hopefully change not give in. You're taking the easy way out. Instead of trying to fix yourself you want to let me go!"

Silence.

"I don't want to fight. I'm going to New York next weekend for my birthday. I'm going with Juliana and Bambina. If you want to make this work, I would like to see you in New York. If you're HONESTLY willing to lose me forever then stay in Genoa. The choice is yours."