Chapter 18: Eli

A/N: 30.03.20

What's your favorite thing to read in stories? Fluff, angst, family, strong female leads, romance, cheesy scenes, etc?

I'm a sucker for relatability and friendship. I love a good bromance and when girls watch out for one another? Love that.

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*Eli's pov*

After running away from the gangsters, I told Thomas that I had to go home but that I didn't want to walk alone in the southside, so he came with me. I didn't have to sneak him in since our mansion was so big, my parents probably wouldn't even notice if I brought home a pony.

The second I closed my door room behind me, Thomas pushed me against the wall and pressed his lips against mine. I whimpered when his hands slipped my shirt, his warm rough hands making my mind go wild as his tongue entered my mouth. He tasted sweet and minty and the way his lips worked against mine made my knees buckle.

His finger trailed higher up my chest and my eyes snapped open, quickly shoving him away when I realized what I was doing. Thomas staggered back, surprised by the abrupt rejection. His brows stooped in worry.

"Did I hurt you?"

"No." My chest was rising and falling, my heart racing wild as I tried to get oxygen to my lungs. I couldn't think straight when Thomas was looking at me like that. He ran a hand through his messy brown hair, working his beautiful jaw that clenched, before letting his hand fall to his side.

"You don't want this," he said, reading the look in my eyes. It wasn't a question, but a statement. I didn't know if I was supposed to be happy or upset that he sounded disappointed.

"Steven," I blurted. Thomas tilted his head back and let out a groan.

"Your bestie?" He grumbled. I tried to stay calm, but I could still taste his lips, and the warmth of his hands lingered on my body.

"I like Steven," I said.

"No, you don't," he deadpanned.

"You don't know me!"

"Then teach me!" he shouted back before his voice softened. "Then tell me what I don't know."

He took a step towards me but I retreated. Thomas glared at me, then sighed, crossing his hands over his chest, but he didn't come nearer.

"You said that you came to my neighborhood because you wanted to talk," he stated. "What did you want to talk about?"

I pressed my hands together. "I didn't mean to get mad at you after the job interview."

"Why did you get mad?"

"I'm just used to getting what I want, okay?" I didn't care if I sounded snobby, Thomas was probably already used to that, but I was still trying. "And I was upset that you had to leave."

"I left to take care of my little sister."

My face fell, feeling even more guilty. "I know."

There was a silent pause.

"I would have stayed, you know," he murmured gently. "I wanted to spend more time with you too."

My heart skipped a beat when he said that, and I couldn't find myself to look into his eyes.

"Eli." I flinched when he said my name. "I know that we argue a lot and that we grew up differently, but I still like being around you. I don't really understand it either, why I like you so much, why I think about you so much, but I'd really like things to work out. And I know that it'll take some time and effort and that we're going to get into some nasty fights, but we're both trying, and that means something, doesn't it? It's enough to give us hope, right?"

It felt like Thomas wasn't talking about our "friendship", but about something else. Something more. And as much as that made me happy, I was still clouded with worry.

"When you say that you like me..." I glanced towards Thomas who looked perplexed.

"I don't know what I mean by that," he admitted. "I'm still trying to figure things out. I've never- This has never- Everything is new to me."

I felt a pang in my chest as if his words slapped me back to reality. That's right, Thomas was still confused. He didn't know what he was talking about.

"This won't work out," I blurted.

"What do you mean?" he asked, trying to keep his voice steady. "Because I'm poor?"

"No! Of course not!" I was surprised by the anger in my voice. His financial situation and background normally would have mattered, it was one of the first things I paid attention to when I met someone. But with Thomas, everything superficial lost their value to me.

"Then why won't it work?"

"You don't like me."

"How would you know about how I feel?"

"Because I just do," I answered angrily. "You're confused, that's all."

Thomas narrowed his eyes, his brows forming a crease.

"You're confused, Thomas," I sighed, my chest feeling heavy. Why did it hurt so much for me to say this? I was trying to look out for Thomas, but being selfless was harder than being a snob. "And once you realize that you don't like me, you'll leave me behind and replace me with some pretty girl."

Before he could reply, I interrupted him. "Besides, even if you did really like me, I still don't want it."

Thomas's anger was replaced by a hurt look. "Why?"

"Because I don't want to be someone's secret again, okay?!" My voice raised as I felt a lump grow in my throat. "I don't want to be someone's secret."

"You won't be a secret."

I rolled my eyes. "So you're going to tell your friends that you might possibly like guys?" I demanded. "There's a reason why I'm still in the closet, Thomas, why Steven and I haven't told anyone about our secret. We're scared. You're scared. The way you see the world and the way the world sees you will change once everyone knows the truth."

Thomas clenched his jaw, but he didn't answer.

"You see? How do you expect anything to work out between us if we're kissing behind dirty dumpsters, constantly keeping secrets? You're going to be like Steven," I said. "You're going to keep me a secret and flirt with other girls and date nice, pretty, normal girls like... Like Willow!"

"I'd never do that to you!" Thomas was shouting, anger blazing in his eyes. He looked hurt and betrayed. "Are you really comparing me to that douche?!"

"Then what are you going to do?" I demanded. "Do you really see yourself barging into your best friend's room or to your sister's, announcing that you're queer at the top of your lungs?"

No matter how hard it was for me to say all of this, Thomas deserved better.

He was still in the stage of confusion, there was still time for him to turn around and make things right. Thomas deserved more than a bent, broken life in which he'd have to hide and keep secrets from his friends and family as I did. He only had a handful of people in his lives, I couldn't let him risk losing even one of them.

Thomas was already wearing a mask to hide his painful secrets, he didn't need another.

That's right, he still had time to change, for him to go back to the way he was before he met me. What happened between us was an accident, a pure mishap.

I accidentally bent him, but I could purposely fix him.

I looked up at Thomas, taking in a tight breath.

"It's getting late," I said, averting my gaze so that I wouldn't have to see the pain in his eyes. "You should go home,."

"Eli-"

"Just go home."

Thomas opened his mouth but stopped. He grabbed his jacket and left, slamming the door behind him.

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A/N: Please don't forget to leave a vote 🧡

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