Chapter 19: Thomas

A/N: 30.04.20

Following the theme of this book, have any of you broken something? Like a finger or arm?

I broke my toe because a friend and I were being stupid and were kicking each other (I believe we were trying out for Karate. I can't remember).

One of my toes turned purple. Good memories.

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*Thomas's pov*

I stormed out of Eli's room, slamming the door so hard that the walls shook. It pissed me off. He pissed me off. Because everything he said was right.

I was being selfish for wanting him while ignoring the responsibility and consequences which basically put me in the same category as Steven, and when you're in the same boat as that guy, you know that you've hit rock bottom.

I regretted it. I regretted bending over to pick up a quarter, I regretted the bicycle crash Eli and I had, I regretted meeting him, I regretted being bent, I regretted, regretted, regretted.

And then I remembered our kiss. Our unromantic kiss behind some smelly dumpsters and suddenly, I no longer regretted. My heart raced when I remembered how his soft lips felt against mine, how his body fit perfectly against mine, how his face blushed beautifully when I held him. It felt right. All of it, every second, it felt right.

And I didn't regret it. Not one bit.

I made it home and pushed open the door. Reality hit me when I looked up and saw the dirty old furniture of my house. The contrast between my house and Eli's mansion made my nose wrinkle. Not because I envied the luxury he lived in, but because it gave me another thing to be insecure about, another reason why he and I would never work out.

Elle was sitting on the couch, hugging her knees tightly against her chest, staring at the wall in front of her.

"Hey, Elle," I murmured, sensing that something was off. "Shouldn't you be sleeping? It's late."

"Exactly," she snapped. "It's late. Where were you?"

I blinked, surprised by the tone of her voice. I was so worried about Eli that I had completely forgotten to tell Elle that I was heading out.

"I was with a... A friend," I said, taking off my jacket.

"You weren't picking up your phone."

I hung my jacket on the back of the couch and headed to the kitche.

"Thomas Klence, how many times have I told you to put your jacket on the coat hanger?!" she shouted, snatching my jacket and throwing it to the ground.

"Hey, what is your problem?!" I shouted back.

"Where were you?"

"I told you! With a friend!" I hissed, grabbing my jacket, fighting back the urge to throw it at her face and storming up the stairs. I wouldn't be able to hold back my temper tonight, not after what happened with Eli, and I knew that I said things that I didn't mean when I was mad. I needed to get to my room and fast.

But Elle wouldn't let me. She grabbed my arm and dragged me back down. "You didn't pick up your phone," she hissed. The dim light above us made her dark circles look worse.

"My phone battery died, relax," I said, trying to keep my voice down so Molly wouldn't wake up.

"Do you know how worried I was? Do you know how many times I called and texted you? I sat in the living room for three hours waiting for you! I was going to call the police!"

I pulled away from her grasp.

"I said relax, you look like a crazy person!" I yelled.

She really did. Her brown hair tied in a messy bun fell all over her face. Her eyes were pink from fatigue and the skin beneath her lashes were dark. Elle's cheeks were hollow and her skin was ashen, almost grey, and she looked like she was losing her mind. I tried to sympathize with her, I've been trying ever since my parents left, I knew that she was overprotective only because she cared, because she was scared that I'd one day leave the house and never come back like our parents.

I knew that but my emotions were taking over any form of rationality.

"What is your problem, Elle? Go sleep it off, we can fight tomorrow. I can't deal with your bull right now."

"Are you kidding me?" she sneered in disgust.

"I was with a friend!" I yelled at her, throwing my hands in the air in despair. "Why are you getting so worked up?"

"Because I am your older sister!" she yelled back, shaking me violently. I slapped her arms away.

"Yeah, you're my sister, you're not my mom! You think that just because you're a couple of years older than me that you can replace her? Well, guess what, Elle? You can't! She's gone and she's been gone for a while and she's never coming back!"

The shocked and hurt look on her face made me flinch.

Elle blinked and when her eyes opened, tears streamed down her face. I realized that I had made a big mistake, but my mouth had a mind of its own, and all my built-up anger came rolling off my tongue.

"I'm sixteen, Elle, sixteen! Why can't I go out as the other kids do? Why do I have to spend hours working my ass off at a grocery til 11:00 p.m while the other kids are having sleepovers and watching movies together?" My voice cracked but I went going. "Why do I have to stay up late to help you with taxes? Why do I have to constantly worry about whether or not I can go to college? I get it, I was out and you were worried, but is it so wrong for me to just be a teenager for once? For once in my fucking life?!"

Elle's face turned bright red and she grabbed me by the collar. I would have preferred taking a direct punch to the face than hearing the next few lines that pierced through me like a knife to the chest.

"You think I enjoy acting like your mom?! You think that when I was 16 years old I had the luxury to wander around and do what I want?" she shouted back, thick tears dripping down her chin while her lips quivered. "When I was 16, I was walking you to school! When I was 16, I learned what numbers meant and if those numbers didn't add up, I learned that we'd be kicked out of our own house! When I was 16, I was changing Molly's diapers while cooking you breakfast! You think this is the life I chose? You think I like acting like your stuck up mom and the dad that you never, and will never, have? Well, guess what Thomas? This is our life! This is the life we live!"

She roughly pushed me back, roughly wiping away her tears with her arm but only broke down into more tears.

"Elle..." I murmured, but when I reached out to hug her, she slapped my hands away.

"I tried my best, Thomas, and I'm still trying. I'm trying to give you the best life that I can with what little we have, and I'm sorry if that's not enough for you," she muttered, storming up the stairs. I clenched my jaw when I heard a door slam shut.

The house fell silent. My back slid down the dirty wall and I sat on the ground, rubbing my hands over my face, trying to calm myself down.

Elle was right. They were all right. What was wrong with me? How messed up and broken did I have to be to make my older sister cry? After everything she's been through for us.

"Thomas?" squeaked a voice. I pulled away from my hands and looked up. Molly was standing on the stairstep, holding Mr. Bunny by the ear.

We must have woken her up with all that screaming.

I forced a smile, trying to look the best I could.

"Hey there, kiddo," I murmured gently. Molly shuffled towards me and sat on the ground. She curled up into my arms, resting her head against my chest, holding tightly onto Mr. Bunny the dirty rag.

"Did you fight with Elle?" she murmured. I gently brushed a hair away from her face before resting my chin on her head.

"Hm? No, Elle just went temporarily deaf so I had to shout for her to hear me," I whispered, caressing her hair and cradling Molly tightly in my arms. She giggled and I smiled, but nothing felt right.

"Sorry for waking you up, pumpkin," I murmured.

Her eyes closed and I could hear her soft breathing.

"What did you do today?" she murmured, her head bobbing as she started falling asleep.

"I'll tell you, but it's a secret, okay? It's a secret just between you and me."

"Can Mr. Bunny know?"

I laughed softly. "Alright, but he has to promise not to tell."

"He promises."

I hugged my baby sister tight in my arms.

"I kissed a boy today," I whispered so lowly that I didn't know if she heard.

But Molly had already fallen asleep, letting out soft, gentle snores.

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A/N: Please leave a vote 😭❣

Poor kids are going through so damn much....