Chapter 22: Eli

A/N: 04.07.20

What's your biggest pet peeve? (Something you dislike or annoys you).

One of my pet peeves is when people fart in the elevator and pretend like they didn't just let out a bombshell

👁👄👁 just because it was silent doesn't mean I can't smell it. In fact, silent farts are the worst.

It's a 3 second ride, can't you hold it in for 3 seconds? 😭

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*Eli's pov*

Thomas thought that I was mad at him because he kissed me without my permission when really, I was upset that he was going down the same dark path as I was: being queer and closeted.

“If you can find it under that cold, snobby heart of yours to forgive me, then can we go back to being frie- I mean, acquaintances? I still enjoy hanging out with you. Your snobbish personality has grown on me.”

I was so shocked that the cup slipped out of my hand and shattered to the ground. I quickly crouched down, picking up the shards.

“Are you dumb?” I heard Thomas grumble under his breath.

I wanted to snap at him and tell him to go back to doing peasant work, but I kept my lips sealed. I knew that I said hurtful things when I was upset and as much as I wanted to say condescending words to Thomas to make myself feel better, I also didn't want to hurt him. So I ignored him instead.

"Eli, you’re going to hurt yourself.”

I picked up the shards but accidentally cut my finger. It took me a few seconds to realize that I was bleeding.

"Ouch,” but my voice sounded so disconnected to my body. The cut didn’t even hurt, but I guess I wanted Thomas to pay attention to me.

“I told you,” he mumbled, crouching down and taking my hand. He examined the cut with a frown, his rough hands brushing over mine.

“We should get you cleaned up,” Thomas said. “Your dad’s going to get mad if he knows that his baby boy got hurt.”

"He doesn't care about me." My voice was quiet when Thomas pulled me onto my feet.

"Yes, he does.”

“No, he doesn’t,” I said.

“Eli-”

"How would you know?" I demanded angrily.

"Because he fucking stayed, okay?" he snapped back. "Because he didn't leave you in a house to fend for yourself. He puts a roof over your head, brings food to your table, takes care of his wife, and spoils you like the little brat you are. He cares Eli.”

Thomas bit his lower lip, immediately regretting what he said, and pulled me out of the barn. He kindly asked one of the maids if she could take care of the shards while he took me to my room. It felt weird being dragged around my own house. I could easily pull away from Thomas but I didn’t want him to let go. Thomas took me to my room and we went to the bathroom. He ran my finger under the running water and I winced.

“It’s just water.”

“It hurts.”

“Stop being dramatic,” he sighed.

“It gets me attention,” I answered coldly. I noticed that Thomas was staring at me so I decided to stare at the sink to avoid his gaze.

“You’re a brat, you know that?” Thomas chuckled softly, saying it in such a gentle manner that it didn’t sound like an insult. “Is that why you’re dating Steven?”

I hadn’t told Thomas that we broke up. “What do you mean?”

“Your parents are too busy with their jobs and you feel neglected,” he said. “So you act dramatic and snobby to get attention.”

I hated how he was right. Knowing it was one thing, hearing someone else say it aloud was another.

“What does that have to do with Steven?”

“He gives you attention and that’s enough for you to stay by him. Even if he cheats. Even if it hurts.”

“I’m dating him because I love him,” I lied, glancing towards Thomas just to see his reaction. His jaw clenched and I could tell that he was jealous, which was when I realized how right

Thomas was.

I was a whore for attention.

I always thought that I liked being given attention because my astrology sign was Leo, but I guess it went deeper than that. It was linked to the fact that my parents never gave me their attention ever since I was a kid. Maids, drivers and chefs took care of me, not my parents. They provided for me, but that wasn’t the same thing.

“Your parents love you, even if they don’t tell you. They’re shit parents, but they aren’t the worst,” he said, taking some toilet paper and wrapping it around my finger. I’ve never seen someone wrap an injury with toilet paper, it must be a poor people thing. “And for the record, I think Steven isn’t worth a quarter of your time.”

The quarter reference made me smile, but my eyes widened when Thomas leaned towards me. His lips pressed against mine, soft, warm, but it was a quick kiss that ended too soon. He pulled away as if he realized what he was doing and ran a hand through his hair, shifting his gaze to the side.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, but he didn’t sound like he meant it. “I should get back to work.”

Before I could stop him, Thomas left the bathroom. I stood there in a daze, bringing my fingers to my lips.

So much for unbending him.

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A/N: It's okay, sweetie, you're doing a great job.

Question: how did you guys find out that you were straight or queer? Or are you still figuring things out?

I wanted to ask this question to celebrate Pride month (which ended a few days ago) but better late than never. Happy late pride month, Homies 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈