Chapter 16

Edited

Alex's POV

Let's Drink Until We Forget Who We Are

I hadn't realized how far along we'd gotten until the night we mixed our drinks and smiled at each other like sinful lovers. My blood was filled with poison, rushing at a speed too quick for me to think. All the memories danced down to my fingertips, filling them with ink. I wanted to caress you with words and write a novel on your skin. I wanted to study my curiosity and allow the love I hid to sneak out the back door and show itself to you. I wanted to find confidence at the bottom of a Jack Daniel's bottle and show you a world I had never shown before. I wanted to love you not for your smile, but for what hid just beneath the surface. I wanted to bury myself in your secrets and compare them to my own- proving that we weren't so different.

But all I did was stand and stare. I let my heart trap all the words left unsaid, plaything them deep inside my head. I let chances slip because if I took a chance, you might've considered the possibility that I was on exctasy. We stand across the room, blocking out conversations, trying to read each other's mind like a manual. But there is no step-by-step process to get to each other's heart. We're two mental cases trying to show a love that we lack. We part our lips but only silence is exchanged, unsure of how to speak the language of affection. So, for one night, let's get drunk together and tell each other everything we're afraid to say sober.

The girls and I were getting ready at my house while the boys got ready at Elias's. We spent the whole morning pampering ourselves and packing bags for tonight. Sam was curling my hair while Lexi sat on my bed and flipped through magazines.

"So Tyler is planning to transfer to my high school next fall," Lexi said. Both of them were going to be Juniors.

"That's great! You guys need to spend some time together anyways," Sam said as she tried not to burn me with the curling iron.

"How are things with you and Austin, Alex?" Lexi said, looking at me through my mirror.

"We aren't together," I assured her. We were going somewhere together. Not going out. I believe there was a difference... I think.

"Sure looks like it," She winked, flipping through the last pile of magazines. If only she knew...

"All done, now go put on your dress," Sam said, patting my shoulder. I walked to my closet and slipped on the dress. I took out a pair of brand new blue converse that went perfectly with my dress. If I was being forced to wear this silly thing, I was going to do it my way.

"You always have to add your own touch of Alex-ness to your style," Sam laughed as she watched me slip them on.

"They're comfortable, and I'm not about to kill myself over a pair of heels," I said. Or fracture another bone. Sam tied her hair up into a perfect ponytail and curled the ends. Lexi kept her hair simple and straightened it.

"Hey cuties, your dates are here," my mom said, opening my door.

"We'll be out in a few," I said, putting my earrings in. I bought a pair of black plugs and put them in before grabbing my bags. Sam and Lexi fixed themselves in the mirror, applying last minute touches and jewelry.

"Alright, let's go," I said, trying to sound excited. We walked down the hall to meet the rest of the boys and an unfamiliar face. I stopped dead in my tracks, staring at the unfamiliar, pretty girl. She was clinging to Elias's arm as they bickered. She was tall and thin and had a beautifully structured face. She had long brunette hair braided into a fishtail that fell over her olive green dress. I wanted to scream. A storm was raging on beneath my skin and I tried to remember how to breath. In... Out... In... Out. I began walking down the stairs again as though nothing could hurt me. I was invincible.... at least I was trying to be.

"You look beautiful," Austin complimented, kissing my forehead. I half smiled and held tightly to his arm. I tried to avoid Elias and his date as we situated each other to take pictures.

"You two stand closer," My mom squealed. She's been looking forward to this night forever. She never went to her high school prom, so it was her dream to see me go- even if it wasn't the actual prom. A compromise.

"Elias, dear, could you switch places with your date," she said. Elias hesitated, glancing at me and then his date. He switched places with her, resting his back against mine. The slightest touch caused me to straighten my posture. I scooted closer to Austin, attempting to keep my distance. After snapping a million photos, we all walked outside to see a limo.

"I thought we were keeping it low budget?" I sighed, eying the limo. This is becoming too much.

"Well, we only get one fake prom so might as well enjoy it," Austin chuckled, pulling me toward the back door. We all slipped in and sat on the black polished sofas.

"Wow this is awesome!" Chris stared in awe, high-fiving Austin. Elias and his date came in last and sat in front of us.

"So this is Stella," He introduced. "Stella, these are my friends." He looked at her with affection- something he rarely showed to me. I could feel my heart trying to rip itself from behind my chest and leave my body before it got beaten again. Everyone said 'hello' except for me.

"It's so nice to meet you guys, I was wondering if he even had any friends," she teased, patting him on the thigh. He rolled his eyes and grabbed the bottle of Jack Daniel's from the ice bowl. He poured a cup for himself and Stella.

"Did you guys want some?" He asked. I held out my hand and waited for him to give me some. He smirked and handed me one. He looked at me with fiery in his eyes as he sipped his come. I turned away from him and down the shot, letting it burn as it ran down my throat.

"Wow, she can definitely drink," Austin laughed sipping his cup. I giggled, feeling embarrassed. I could feel the alcohol begin to works its magic as it poisoned my blood and warmed me up. The last time I had a shot was Sam's sixteenth birthday party. That was a night I couldn't even remember.

"I heard you were a writer," Stella said to me. I choked on my shot, whipping the remnance from my lips.

"Excuse me?" I could feel my eye twitch as I looked over at a shocked-looking Elias.

"I read some of your work that Elias brought over. You're very talented, and very dark. You seem like you have a troubled past sweetie," She said with an innocent smile. I felt my fingers flinch.

He what?

Elias's eyes went wide as he tried to look for an excuse.

He showed her my poetry? Since when did he have any of it?

"Yeah, well that'll be the last time you ever see it," I gritted through my teeth. We pulled into the parking lot and I hurried out, pushing her out of my way.

I couldn't breath. I could hear voices ring in my ears, whispering nightmarish thoughts. I was exposed and vulnerable to a girl who knew nothing about me. She shouldn't know anything about me!

I barged toward the lake. The sun was setting and couples were laying out. The party had started before we actually arrived.

"Are you okay?" Austin asked placing his hand on my shoulder. I shrugged it off and sat on the grass.

"Go away," I seethed. I fought back tears, a war I wasn't sure I'd win. I wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out. I would have never expected Elias to betray me. But he did. And I was wrong.

"Alex don't be like this. We're supposed to have fun tonight," He tried. He attempted to pull me into a hug, but I didn't want him. I didn't want his safety, I wanted to be left in solitude.

"I don't want to have fun! I want you to leave me alone!" I yelled, pushing him off of me. Austin stepped back in shock. Everyone turned to look at us. He put his hands into pockets and walked away with his head down. I couldn't feel bad. I was too angry.

I couldn't understand why he'd do that to me...

"Are you okay?" Sam asked sitting next to me. She put her arm around my shoulders. I flinched at her touch, but I didn't have the heart to push her away, too. But I also didn't want her to know what was going on in my head. She didn't have the strength to keep carrying my baggage. I shook my head and smiled, continuing the act of The Girl With The Plastic Smile. It was what I was good at.

"Yeah," I sighed. "Let's go inside. I dressed up, so might as well do something." She stood up and grabbed my hand. I took in a deep breath and followed her inside where people were drinking and having a good time. We walked up to where Chris and Austin were talking.

"Hey," Sam smiled slipping her hand around Chris's waist. Austin shifted his weight, swirling his cup.

"Hello," I said quietly as I leaned against the kitchen counter beside him.

"Hi."

"I'm sorry, Austin. It's just... I got so caught off guard. And I got so mad! I hate it when people I don't know read my work," I groaned, placing my hands over my face. I peaked through my fingers to see him fail to smile.

"Why haven't I read it then?" He asked, pulling my hands from my face so I wouldn't be able to hide behind a lie.

I clung my hand to my arm, looking down at my feet."You could. You just never asked." I knew I didn't want him to, though. I didn't trust him as much as I wish I did. He nodded and slipped his hand into mine.

"Okay, I forgive you," he smiled. He placed his drink on the counter and pulled me to the patio where a small crowd of people were dancing. Our DJ was Pandora, because we couldn't actually afford a real one, but no one complained. We danced to the music and I forgot about Elias and his unforgivable mistakes. The tempo slowed down to a slow dance. Stay by Rihanna played as we all closed the gaps between our partners and swayed.

"Can I ask you something?" Austin whispered into my hair. My eyes closed, I nodded.

"Would you be my girlfriend?" He asked. Right to the point. I looked up at him, my eyes wide. What? I tried to look for the right answer, but there wasn't. If I said yes, I wouldn't have a chance to tell Elias how I felt, but if I said no things between Austin and I would be awkward. Before I could come up with an excuse, Elias cut in.

"Can we talk?" He asked, his eyes soft with morose. Austin gripped tightly to my hand and pulled me behind him.

"We're talking," He glared at him. Elias puffed out his chest, fists forming at his sides.

"Can you both not fight again," I said, placing myself between both of them. I pressed my hand against Austin's chest, and turned to Elias. "Elias what do you want?" He glanced from Austin to me. I could see him battling with his emotions as he controlled his temper. He stared at me waiting for me to go with him. I let my hand fall from Austin's chest, and fully turn to Elias. His irises were painted over, begging me to follow him.

"Okay... Austin I'll be back," I wavered. I wasn't so sure about this.

"Whatever," He shook his head and walked away. It's only been an hour and I've already disappointed Austin more than enough. I wanted to run after him, but something stopped me. I didn't have enough fight in me for the both of them. Shaking my head in frustration, I followed Elias to the lake. He stared out into the sparkling water, his hands stuffed into his tux pants. He looked like he had stepped out from a Wedding Magazine. His dark blue vest match his bow and made me wonder why him and Stella didn't match.

"You look handsome," I blurted out before I could stop myself.

"Thanks. You look good, too," he said turning toward me. I looked down at my dress, playing with the material with my fingers.

"So what did you want?" I asked, remembering that I was supposed to be mad at him. He rubbed the back of his neck and started to walk on the edge where the water and sand almost met, but not quite.

"I wanted to apologize." He sighed looking down at his feet. "I didn't know she got ahold of the poetry papers. She was in my room the other night and when I walked out, I guess she went through my stuff. I'm really sorry," He said, stopping. He turned to me and stared at me with his trancing, hazelnut eyes. I felt my heart tremble when he stared, but stopped when I realized she was in his room.

"What was she doing in your room?" I asked trying not to sound like I cared. I could see a smile tug at the side of his lips before he continued.

"She needed help with math, which is funny because I suck at math," he laughed to himself "She's an old family friend and so I asked her to come with me so I wouldn't be dateless." He admitted. I nodded and began walking again. He followed beside me, brushing his arm against mine when he got the chance.

"I forgive you," I said staring at my shoes. I was so gullible.

"Good, because you weren't going to get rid of me that easily. I'm like pesticide," he whispered into my ear. I jumped back as he laughed. His proximity was troubling.

"Even when I'm right next to you, you jump!" He teased. I glared at him and stopped. I turned toward the water and sat down on the sand, trying to ignore the fact that I spent hundreds of dollars on this stupid dress. He sat beside me and we watched the water swirl under the moonlight.

"Tell me the story about how the sun loved the moon so much he died every night to let her breathe..." I whispered to myself.

"What?" Elias stared at me. I could see his breath in the cold night air.

"Nothing..."

"Right," He smiled. He took out his phone and played some music. As he took out his phone, a paper bag fell out of his inside pocket.

"What's that?" I asked. He looked down and grabbed the bag, handing it to me.

"I thought you wanted it so I got it for you," He said, taking out a cigarette. I opened the bag to find L inside. My face glowed with happiness as I pulled it out and hugged it.

"I did! Thanks!" I said. I leaned into him, wrapping my arms around his neck. His warmth sent sparks running down my spine. I was confused, but I didn't push him away. I nuzzled my nose into his neck, smelling the mixture of vanilla and nicotine. My heart skipped beats, but kept in time with his. I wanted it to last forever.

"Alexandra Santos, I think I'm in love with you."