Chapter 27

"Are you almost ready?" My mom called out from her room. I took a second to sit on my now sheet-less bed and looked around carefully. I breathed in the last scent I'd get of that room and reminisced on the old memories of growing up in the same environment for the last eighteen years of my life. I ran my hand against the frills of mattress and felt my heart begin to ache again. Elias and I had kept our distance to make all this easier. It wasn't easier. Sighing, I flung my backpack over my shoulder and pulled my luggage along the carpet and into the living room. My brother and dad were talking baseball while my mom was listening intently.

"I'm ready," I smiled faintly. All of their eyes shot toward me, my mom's watering.

"Oh baby..." She whispered, running her thumbs under her eyes to keep her make-up from smudging.

"Let's get going," My dad mumbled grabbing his keys. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and kissed my forehead before walking toward the car. Chris was waiting outside with the band-excluding Elias- Sam, and Victoria.

"It's about time," Chris smiled at me. Giggling, I followed my parents into the car and slouched into my seat. My dad took a deep breath, staring into the rear view mirror before starting the ignition. My friends followed behind as we drove toward LAX. I glanced from outside the window to Nick, his eyes glued to his DSI screen. His eyes squinted as he concentrated, his cheeks chubby and rosy. Despite our differences, I loved that kid more than anyone. I slipped my hand into his squeezing it tightly. He flickered his gaze toward me, giving me a small smile. We kept our hands like that the entire ride as we gazed outside our windows.

Familiarity was going to leave me. My stomach churned with excitement and fear. I was glad I wasn't going alone. Chris would help me and I'd help him. We'd get through all this and move on. We had to... We pulled up to the crowded LAX and followed everyone inside. We stopped in front of security and realized this was it. I turned toward my dad and brother, my heart shuttering. Fear was beginning to consume me, but I had to get on that plane no matter what. I had no choice now.

"I love you, be safe baby," My dad mumbled through his tears. This was the first time I saw my dad cry, sober. It was an uncomfortable, loving thought of having him cry. He pulled me tightly into his grasp like he was holding on to his entire world. I wrapped my arms as far as I could around his large waist.

"I love you too daddy," I squeaked, my voice becoming hoarse. He pulled away, rubbing his thumbs under my eyes. Chris stepped between us and hugged my dad, startling him. I laughed and watched my dad stiffen under Chris's grasp.

"I'll miss you sir. Don't worry, I'll protect Alex with my life," He reassured my dad, and he believed him. My dad watched us grow up together and he knew Chris would never let me get hurt, well almost. I walked toward Chris's parents, giving them both a tight, loving hug.

"I'll miss you guys so much!" I whined. Chris's mom kissed my cheek gently and gave me a warm smile.

"Take care of my baby boy," She giggled looking over my shoulder to see Chris spinning my brother around in the air. I nodded reassuringly and looked over at Sam. We stood there for a long moment, taking in the reality of it all. I was leaving my best friend. The only person who never gave up on me... Not being able to stand it any longer, she ran toward me and wrapped her arms around my neck. I nuzzled my face into the crook of her neck. Closing my eyes, I let all the wonderful memories play in my head from the time she became my friend to the time she saved me. I'd never be able to repay this remarkable girl.

"I love you so much. Be safe," She cried into my hair. Tears spilled as a few sobs escaped my lips.

"I love you too Sam. Thank you for everything," I mumbled. We both stood there crying as arms wrapped around us. I looked up to meet Austin's watery eyes. Those warm, welcoming eyes... We stood in a group hug, not wanting to be peeled apart.

"Alex, Chris, we need to get going. We don't want to miss our flight," My mom said apologetically. My mom volunteered to take us so she could help us unpack and settle in with our new roommates.

"Stay safe," Austin smiled, kissing my cheek. Stepping back, he wrapped his arm around Victoria's waist and waved. I stepped away from my family and watched everyone wave their last good-byes.

"Ready?" Chris asked encouragingly. I shook my head up and down, sighing.

"More than ever," I replied turning toward the security. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his side. I lied my head against his shoulder, trying to stop the tears. We prepared for this and I was ready to start over. I needed to. This was what I was waiting for...

"Alex, wait!" A voice shrieked over the loud conversations. I turned around to see a tired looking Elias and I couldn't help but smile. As cliché as it was, he made it just on time. I grabbed my journal from my bag and ran toward him. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him into me. His arms slithered across my waist, lifting me. I felt a few warm tears break my skin, but I couldn't look at him. I pulled away and looked at his face. Dark circles painted under his eyes, his skin pale. I placed the journal into his hands, kissing his cheek forcefully.

"Thank you Elias. I love you," I smiled and for the last time, my heart broke completely. A small smile played on his lips as he held it tightly in his hands. I took in a deep breath knowing I didn't regret a thing. Everything that happened changed me and for the better. He changed me. He gave me a reason to keep going and that was something no one else was able to teach me.

"I love you too," He whispered, restoring all the broken pieces my heart created. Maybe this wasn't the happy ended we wanted, but seeing his face before I left was more than any fairytale ending could provide. And with that, I pulled away and jogged back toward Chris and my mom. There were a million things I wanted to say, but not one word could be expressed out loud. I loved him and he loved me, that's all that mattered.

Elias's POV

I watched her run away from me and my heart broke again, completely. Austin wrapped his arm around my shoulders, giving me an encouraging smile. I opened the journal to the end and read her last entry, the last entry she'd write for me to see. I ran my fingers along its creases, imagining her curled up on her bed with the dim light of her lamp. I imagined nibbling the bottom of her lip as she contemplated what she wanted to write. I imagined her using her black pen as her paint brush, the paper being her canvas as she painted every emotion she could. I let my gaze fall onto the first line and began to read the last thing I had left of her.

Still Holding On

From time to time I can't help but reminisce on old memories of you and me. It seems so childish now, but I'm still holding on. I'm still holding onto the memories, the future... stupid future. I'm living up to my naïve personality and pretending that one day you'll come back for me. How stupid does that sound? I hate feeling like this. The jealousy, the love and hatred... the butterflies that shake my cage violently... these feelings are all I have left. And I want to tell you. I want to yell it at the top of my lungs on the last day in hopes that this will all just be a nightmare and I'd wake up in your arms. I can't help but hope that one day you'll see me sitting across from you and whisper 'I love you, too' into the thin air between us. But it's all in my head. One day, I'll leave and that will be that. Nothing more. My name will become a distant, useless memory that you are more likely to forget than I will. You? Once you leave, you'll forget too. But I know I won't forget you. You've written your name permanently onto my heart and it'll forever stay. I hope we cross paths again one day, and I hope we are both happy. I hope you're happy. I'm still holding onto this foolish love and it's all because I'm still betting on you.

-Alex ♥♥♥

My heart was now repaired with that last line she'd ever write to me and I couldn't help but smile. I was here and she was there, an entire sea apart. But I loved her and she loved me, and that's all that mattered.

~~THE END~~

"Love makes us and breaks us. It has a sweet beginning and a bitter ending... but everything in between is what makes it all worth while. Despite everything, I can't help but love you and I can't help but hope one day, when you're here and I'm there, an entire sea apart, you'll learn to love me too."

-Izzy ♥♥♥